Fullmoon
by JaDE-rUst
Summary: Kappa, Kitsune, Tengu... The myths of Japan's past are coming to light as reality, all of them running into Kakashi and team as they try to protect a forgetful girl. KakaxOC
1. Warmth

Fullmoon

By JaDErUst

Prologue: Warmth

_Cold._

_Pain._

There was something wet surrounding her.

A pleasant sound in her ears.

She was holding on to something hard. If she let go, even a little, something wet entered her mouth and made her sputter and cough.

She knew if she let go she would die. She didn't want to die.

But she was tired, oh so tired...

But she held on.

"SENSEI!!!" someone shouted from far away.

She twitched hearing the voice. Voices meant people. People meant... People meant... What did people mean?

Something was pulling her away from the hard thing. She tried to push the pulling thing away, but that made it just pull harder. Suddenly, the hard thing was gone and hands were pulling her out of the water. Hands changed to arms and something hard and bumpy against her side. Wet, she was still wet, but something cool was blowing against her. She was colder then before. She would have shivered, but she was just so tired...

There were murmuring voices somewhere close by. People meant... She wasn't supposed to go near people. Why?

Something was wrapped around her. The arms held her tight to the hard, bumpy thing and the cool thing was blowing harder. She wanted to shiver, but she was too tired. She wanted to open her eyes, but she was too tired. She wanted...

_...tired..._

The hard bumpy thing was warm, she realized. That was a little surprising. She hadn't been used to warmth for what seemed like forever.

A harsh voice was calling and a soft voice answered it. Why wasn't she supposed to go near people? Was it because of their voices? What did people mean?

She stirred and tried to move a little closer to the warm hard bumpy thing. What did people mean? The arms held tighter, and then the cool blowing thing stopped.

There were many voices, many hands. The warm hard bumpy thing was gone and new arms replaced the old ones. Suddenly, she was laid down on something hard the many voices hovering over her. Something heavy was laid over her and something warm was placed by her side.

_Warmth._

The hands were warm, this place was warm, there was a warm thing covering her, and a warm thing by her side. She was still cold, but she was surrounded by warmth. Surrounded by voices.

Voices meant people. She was surrounded by people.

She was surrounded by warmth... People meant... People meant warmth.

Sighing lightly she went to sleep, feeling the warmth and the guarantee that as long was people were there, she would be warm.


	2. The Girl From the River

Chapter 1: The Girl From the River  
  
"Time to get up dearie!" a charming, boisterous voice ordered, waking her up from her sleep. "Its morning, sleepyhead!"  
  
Morning? Already? Why couldn't she hear the birds singing? She sat up and rubbed her eyes, yawning and wondering what was going on. No, she couldn't hear any birds. It was bright enough for morning though... Maybe the birds were taking a day off?  
  
"Wh-who are you?" she asked between yawns, sitting up and trying to get a good look at the woman who was rummaging through a small dresser drawer.  
  
"Furiyama Kaede, dear. Feel free to call me Ka-chan though, all the children in the ward do," the grey haired woman said cheerfully. "I'm the nurse in charge of your discharge."  
  
"Nurse?" she asked confused. Had she been hurt?  
  
"Yes dear. Those stomach pains meant nothing except it was that time of the month. Really, you're poor parents were over-reacting..."  
  
"Stomach?" Her stomach had been hurting? That was strange. The only thing that hurt was her shoulder. Where was she anyway?  
  
"Hurry up and get dressed, dear," Kaede said cheerfully, placing a small stack of clothing on the bed. I'll be waiting just outside for when you're done." With a quick smile the woman was gone, shutting the hospital door behind her.  
  
The girl in the bed yawned again and tried to figure out what was going on. Why was there a nurse? Was she in a hospital? For stomach pains? She frowned. Really, her stomach felt fine. Empty, but fine. It was her shoulder that hurt. And her head. And her ankle seemed to tingle strangely whenever she put weight on it.  
  
The clothes were familiar enough. Black, worn trousers, a kimono-vest that had a tie at the waist and came down to her knees, and a silver chain with a small silver ball charm on it. She found a pair of sandals, uncomfortable but familiar, by the window and slung over a chair was a bright orange jacket which she did not recognize. Was it hers? When she tried to put in on she realized that the shoulders were too tight and the sleeves too short for it to be comfortable. Maybe it was not hers? Was it her brother's? She frowned. Did she have a brother?  
  
"You done, dearie?" Kaede called from behind the door.  
  
Clutching the jacket tightly to her chest she nodded silently as the door opened. "Y-yes Ka-chan..."  
  
Smiling brightly, Kaede led her from the room into a brightly lit lobby filled with many people. "Just sign here, dear, and you're free to go," Kaede said handing her a clipboard.  
  
Sign? Sign what? Her name? For a moment she almost panicked, trying to remember her name, before she thought of what Kaede had been calling her. Frowning, she carefully wrote 'Dear' on the blank line before handing the clipboard back to the nurse. "I've signed it," she said quietly  
  
Kaede smiled at her once again, and escorted her to the door. "Bye-bye dear! Hope you feel better soon and hurry home!" the cheerful woman said giving her a slight push and waving.  
  
Unsure, but smiling she waved a little back before turning and heading out to the bustling city street.  
  
-  
  
-  
  
"Early stages of hypothermia, a shattered ankle, a dislocated shoulder, a nasty hit to the back of the head ... Yup, that girl was a wreck," Tsunade said reviewing the chart. She glanced up at the man who was walking alongside her and smiled. "You concerned?"  
  
Kakashi shrugged. "Not really," he said calmly. "She is here now... Besides, all I came for was Naruto's jacket. He whined about it all day yesterday."  
  
Tsunade snorted. Yup, that sounded like Naruto. "So why are you here for it?"  
  
"Something about avoiding someone named Furiyama."  
  
"That scatterbrain? All she does is mother everyone," Tsunade said. She winced remembering an embarrassing incident when she first toured the hospital. "He--"  
  
Frantic shouting filled the hall as a pair of hysterical parents shouted at a smiling Kaede.  
  
"Speak of the devil," Tsunade sighed rolling her eyes upward. "It's that one," she said pointing to a closed door. "Be sure not to wake her, she needs her rest. And..." at this point Tsunade glared at the tall man, rising to her full height, "...if you dare touch her I will kill you. Don't look sheepish! I know whose books you read!"  
  
"It's a great series..."  
  
"...Right." Turning, the Hokage turned to approach the frantic parents as Kakashi entered the darkened hospital room. "What's going on?" Tsunade asked trying to appear helpful and approachable.  
  
"You said that you would hold her over night for observation!" a hysterical father shouted. "Now we hear that she has hypothermia!?"  
  
"Well, she did fall into a river," Kaede supplied helpfully.  
  
"River!?" the mother shouted. "When did she fall into a river?"  
  
"Sometime before or after her injured her ankle. Not to mention the bruise on the back of her head, the poor dear."  
  
As the parents began to hysterically rant and rave, Tsunade studied the medical chart that she had been reading to Kakashi. "Kaede-san, does the patient also have a dislocated shoulder?"  
  
Kaede looked at her surprised. "Why yes, Tsu-chan. However did you know?"  
  
Tsunade held back the desire to brain the elderly woman with her clipboard. Tsu-chan!? Out of all the terrible nicknames... "BAKA!!!!" she shouted, not managing to reign in all of her anger. "That's the patient in room 201! This is 210!"  
  
Kaede looked down at her copy of the chart. "Oh my... You're right Tsu-chan... The charts must have been mixed up..."  
  
Nerves grating Tsunade glared at the nurse. "Take a lunch break!" she snapped. Turning to the parents she reassured them ('your daughter is fine,' 'our mistake,' 'charts misplaced,' 'so very sorry for worrying you,' 'yada, yada, yada,') before leaving the room to place the chart back in its proper place.  
  
She had just put the chart back in its spot and removed the incorrect one when Kakashi exited the room, empty handed. She checked the chart (yes, this was the one for the girl with the menstrual stomach pains and the frantic parents) before glancing up at the silver haired Jounin. "The jacket gone?"  
  
"Yes." Kakashi replied.  
  
Tsunade smirked. Sucked to be him. Naruto wasn't going to let himself be disappointed silently. "Oh."  
  
"The girl's gone too."  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Panting a little she sat down in the little side alley feeling confused and in pain. Her shoulder ached, her ankle was throbbing, and with every step she took she felt dizzy and nauseous. Worst of all she didn't recognize any of the landmarks that surrounded her. The giant cliff was unfamiliar, the marketplace confusing, and there were so many people...  
  
She wasn't supposed to go near people, right?  
  
Placing her head on her knees she took a few deep breaths before slowly standing up again. Ka-chan had ordered her to go home, maybe she would spot something familiar once she got to the next block... 


	3. Ghosts Are Among Us

Questions? See the end of the chap.

Updated 12-01-04 to account for the fact that the chick on Kakashi's team was named Rin.

Chapter 2:Ghosts Are Among Us

It was a perfectly normal afternoon at the bridge. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and the trio known as Group 7 were waiting impatiently for their instructor to show up.

"Why is he always late?" Sakura growled to herself, feeling annoyed. "It's not like it's that hard to get up in the mornings..."

Panting, Naruto glared at Sasuke. "I'll get it this time!" he shouted, pointing at the black haired boy. "You'll never be able to beat me Sasuke! CHIDORI!!!"

"Dobe." Sasuke muttered, actively trying to ignore the blond genin.

Kakashi appeared at the end of the bridge with a small puff of smoke. "Sorry I'm late. A beautiful woman became lost so I had to help find her."

"Do you _always_ have to lie?" Sakura demanded, glaring at her teacher.

"Kaka-sensei! I've almost got it!" Naruto shouted, his face red. "W-watch! CHIDORIIIIII!!!"

Kakashi ignored the boy as he fell to the ground. "Mah, listen up everyone, the Hokage's given us a B ranked mission. Top priority."

"Really!?" Naruto shouted, leaping up. "B rank!? What do we have to do? Defeat enemy ninjas? Find a forbidden scroll? Pat our heads and rub our tummies at the same time!?"

"Nope! Better!"

"What's the mission, sensei?" Sasuke asked, his face determined.

"Ah, all we have to do is find a beautiful woman."

The group stared at their teacher.

"Did the Ero-sennin give us this mission?" Naruto asked, looking annoyed.

"No. Tsunade herself issued it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Do we have to find someone in particular or do we just have to find a beautiful woman in general?" Sakura asked looking puzzled.

"We have to find one that was accidentally discharged this morning from the hospital," Kakashi said, leaning back to rest his weight on one of the bridge's rails. "She's badly hurt and possibly confused. The Hokage wants her back before she can get into any trouble."

Sasuke sighed. This was going to be yet another stupid mission. "What does she look like?"

Kakashi crossed his arms and looked thoughtful. "Her hair is... Eyes are... She's wearing clothes..."

"You don't know what she looks like!?" Sakura shouted. "How are we supposed to find her if we have no idea what she looks like!?"

"Mah, calm down Sakura-san," Kakashi said smiling. "It should be easy. She was last seen carrying Naruto's jacket after all."

"My jacket!?"

"Is this person by any chance the girl we pulled out of the river?"

"Yes, she is, Sasuke."

"Black hair, grey tunic, black pants," Sasuke said calmly. "Where are we searching?"

"The village limits. The guards report that she couldn't have gotten past them to leave."

-

-

(Meanwhile... Outside the Village Limits)

This was much better, she decided. The sun was warm against her back, she could hear bird song and feel the breeze... Yes. This was much better then the crowded and busy village. Less people too. She wasn't supposed to go near people because...

Her stomach rumbled interrupting her thoughts. She was hungry. Starving really. When was the last time she had eaten? Her head hurt just thinking about it. Maybe there was a berry bush nearby or a plant with good roots? Her stomach growled again loudly.

"Heh, the kid's hungry," a male voice said off to her right. "Too bad she doesn't know that Kakashi's brats left their lunches behind when they went off on their mission today."

"Really?" she asked turning to look at the young male as he turned to go.

The man stopped and slowly looked back at her. "You heard me?"

"Yes," she said nodding. "I'm very sorry sir, but I'm very hungry. If those meals are unclaimed, may I have them?"

The man stared at her, black hair blowing in the wind.

-

-

"So then, this kid Naruto gets the bright idea to eat the obento while everyone is off trying to defeat Kakashi," the man said laughing merrily.

Swallowing her mouthful of rice, she smiled. "What happened next, Obito-kun?"

Closing one of his red eyes, Ushira Obito grinned widely. "Kakashi caught him. And tied him to the log."

She laughed, gazing at the log which must have once held the boy Obito was speaking of. " Did he get in trouble?"

"Not really," Obito said shrugging. "Kakashi was more amused then anything else. If he was really ticked he wouldn't have let the kid start his ninja training after all..." He smiled gazing at the log fondly. "Man, that log brings back memories. I remember when I was going through the genin trial that I was the one tied to that log. Rin laughed and laughed at me... And Kakashi-baka just stood there with that stupid mask on his face and asked the Fifth if he was a genin yet."

"What about your students, Obito-kun? Did any of them need to be tied to the log?"

Obit smiled sadly. "I've never had any students. Certain... situations have prevented me from ever teaching."

"Oh." She gazed down at the half eaten meal in front of her. "Would you like something to eat, Obito-kin? There are three meals, I can't possibly eat them all."

Shaking his head, Obito smiled at her. "Nah, not hungry." He fell back, laying down and basking in the warm afternoon sun. He was glad that he had met this girl. Glad that he had shown her the lunches which team 7 had so thoughtlessly left behind. It had been a long time since he had been able to converse with anyone (being dead) and it felt nice to have someone to talk to that could actually hear what you said. How could she see and hear him anyway? he wondered. Most humans couldn't do it. Was she a miko? "So what's your story?"

"My story?"

"Yah. Here I've been telling you the entire secret of the Konoha genin test and I don't even know your name."

She gazed down at Obito's smiling face and frowned. It was true. She had been being terribly rude... "My name... My name is... is... Dear."

"Deer? Like the animal?"

"I suppose so. That is what the Ka-chan called me after all."

"Your mother named you Deer?"

"Ka-chan isn't my mother. She's a nurse."

"So you came from..."

"The hospital."

Obito looked at her puzzled. "Hospital... What happened?"

"Nothing really. It was just stomach pains due to it being that time of month."

A light blush covered Obito's face. "Oh."

"Obito-kun..."

"Yah?"

"What does 'that time of month' mean?"

Obito stared at her, his face going scarlet. "Ano.... I don't really know," he lied. There was no way in hell he was going to tell a woman about their own problem. "I always thought it was a girl thing. Why, can't you remember?"

She frowned and ate another bite of rice. "Obito-kun, is Dear really that odd of a name?"

"... I guess so."

"Do you think it's my name?" There was true sadness in the girl's eyes.

Obito sat up and looked at her full in the face. "You can't remember, can't you?"

"No."

He smiled brightly. "Well, let's see if we can change that. What's the first thing you can remember clearly?"

"Waking up in the hospital," she responded promptly. "Ka-chan giving me my clothes and getting dressed."

"And what can you remember before that?"

She hesitated. "Being... cold... wet..."

"And before that?"

She was silent for a long time, staring down at the obento on her lap. She could remember the hospital clearly. The pure white of it all and the smell of disenfectent with underlying scent of illness. She could roughly remember the feeling of arms around her. The safety of the arms as the wind blew quickly around her. Before that she had been cold. She had held onto something... a log?... and floated along a deep river. But why had she been in a river? Her head and chest hurt as she thought about it...

"Hey. You okay?"

She looked up at Obito, sharply. "I- I'm fine."

He smiled weakly, looking a bit worried. "Well, remember anything?"

She closed her eyes, trying to remember what had happened before the cold. Unbidden tears began running down her cheeks. "I was betrayed," she whispered softly.

"Betrayed?"

"The river... it wasn't in the river..."

Obito looked at her, concerned. "What wasn't in the river, Imo-chan?"

A small sob escaped her. It hadn't been in the river. For days it never appeared. She had been hungry, but it never came. Had her mother... "Obito-kun!" she sobbed, throwing her arms around the man.

"Wha–" Obito gasped out before being tackled to the ground. She was touching him! No one had ever... Ghosts couldn't... Why could she touch him when everyone else just walked through him like he was air?

"She forgot me," she murmured into Obito's chest. "Mo-Mother forgot about me. She stopped sending the rice..."

"Imo-chan..."

"She told me to stay away from everyone. Told me that if I was good I could go to heaven with her... She forgot me, Obito-kun... She forgot her Mitsuki..."

Slowly, Obito sat up, the girl still sobbing in his arms. Poor kid, he thought to himself. She was crazy. But she could see him, touch him. His head reeled at the thought. He could feel her tears soaking into his vest. Holding back laughter (for it wasn't the time to laugh) he slowly began stroking her back as she cried. Thanks god, he cheerfully thought, not able to rid himself of the grin that was beginning to cross his face. This girl, she could hear ghosts, she could eat mortal food, she would be able to complete his goal.

Clearing Up:

Yes, this guy is Obito, Kakashi's dead best friend. Yes, he is dead. Yes, he is a character and he's currently talking to the OC. Yes, it's all very confusing. See the genre of supernatural describing the fic? I'll explain it all later. After the Tengu, Kappa, Oni, Tennyo, Kitsune, and Yuki-Onna come into play. Brushing up on your Japanese folklore may help. I recommend Folktales of the World Edited by Keigo Seki, Translated by Robert J Adams, and Published by the University of Chicago copyright 1963. I found this copy in my University's Library. It rocks. Really, the best I've found. It has all my favorites and it keeps all the sound effects untranslated. Plus it keeps the honorifics. Yup. The best ever.

Imo-chan:

Okay, I got sick of referring to Mitsuki as she or girl or that freaky person who weird crap is happening to. Imo-chan is a short, friendly way of addressing her as little sister. Why is she address as little sis by Obito? Well, while Mitsuki is 23 (no, I haven't said that yet, but I'm saying it now) Obito is still 26. He just happened to die when he was 17 (haven't said that yet, either). So Obito is older. But dead. Very dead. Poor Obito...

The Story Thus Far:

Almost everyone who has reviewed has mentioned that this story is slow and confusing. Sorry it's slow. I can't really help it. I have a lot of information to weave together with the Naruto world and I really don't want my characters to be all "I can't remember my past! sob (2.3 seconds pass) HI! My name is Mitsuki!" As for confusing, Mitsuki has been very confused thus far. So the basic lay down:

Chap 1: Mitsuki (at this time being referred to as 'she') somehow fell into a river, nearly drowning, and was fished out my Kakashi (the hard warm bumpy thing was his chest covered by the vest. I figured that the summoning scrolls would be rather uncomfortable being pressed into you). Naruto donated his jacket to help keep her warm and she was rushed to the hospital where she got warm and passed out.

Chap 2: Mitsuki (now believing her name was 'dear') wakes up to Kaede trying to discharge her. There was a mix up of charts (probably due to Kaede's incompetence) and Kaede thought that Mitsuki was a girl who had come in 'cause her parents freaked out over their daughter's cramps due to her period. Never mind that the girl is just down the hall with her parents trying to take her home. Being very confused, Mitsuki leaves wondering why her shoulder and head and why she can't remember much of anything. Meanwhile Naruto wants his jacket back and doesn't want to go to the hospital to get it. So what does he do? He harasses Kakashi until he agrees to get it for him. Tsunade is leading Kakashi to Mitsuki's room but is side tracked as Kaede explains to the parents of the menstrual girl that their daughter was fished out of a river and is badly hurt (she isn't). Kakashi discovers that Mitsuki is gone.

Chap 3: (Why not?) Kakashi goes and gets Team 7 to help him find Mitsuki (who still can't remember her own name). He can't remember what she looks like, but Sasuke does. They believe the guards report that Mitsuki could never have gotten past them (she did) and they go to look for her in the village. Meanwhile, Mitsuki is hungry. The ghost of Ushira Obito (Kakashi's best friend) happens to come across her, and muses out loud how silly she is (this is a common occurrence in Japanese folklore. Usually it's people who can understand the language of bird though). Mitsuki with her 1337 supernatural powers (Hint #1) hears him, sees him, and asks him to show her the food he mentioned. Obito is shocked. They settle down at a picnic by the memorial where Obito amuses her by telling her stories. Mitsuki tries to remember things but she can't. Then she remembers things (Hint #2). She grabs onto Obito for emotional support and cries while Obito realizes that he can use her to fulfill his goals.

AND NOW THE GREAT CHALLENGE!!!

It's simple. Tell me what Mitsuki is and I'll give you... something. I don't know what... You've got a couple hints and the knowledge that I love Japanese folklore. All you need to tell me is what Mitsuki is or what story she's part of and I'll award you the title of Master.

JaDErUst


	4. Kappa Maki and the Kappa

So here I am, sitting at the computer, wearing my haori which I have just finished sewing, reading Naruto manga chapter 237, and thinking... Damn... Jiraiya's kinda sexy in a Freudian sort of way...

Nobody's figured out what Mitsuki is yet so the contest continues... Not many hints in this chapter either...

Chapter 3: Kappa Maki and the Kappa

"Head to the main gates," Mitsuki muttered to herself. "Go through them, turn left, then go forward until you reach a closed gate with a fan symbol on it. Third board on the left is loose, pull it aside and go in. Head to the main gates..." She chanted the instructions over and over to herself like a mantra. Obito-kun had made her learn it once he had found out that she had no where to sleep that night. He had nobly volunteered his home saying that no one lived there anymore and no one would mind her being there. All she had to do was find a comfortable looking home in the Uchiha complex and sleep soundly.

"_Ne, Mitsuki-chan, you better get going," he had said watching the shadows lengthen. "It's almost 3."_

"_Why? Is there something important about 3?"_

Obito had flushed slightly, muttering something about a 'baka na shinigami' and how she really had to be going. So, promising to come back tomorrow, she had left to find the place that Obito had described to her so that she could rest.

"...third board on the..." she paused, faltering. "Right? No left... Second board on the lef... No! Third board on the–"

Screaming and shouts suddenly filled the air, startling her and causing her to drop the bright orange jacket she had been carrying. Surprised, Mitsuki looked around her trying to see what was causing all this noise. Had a bird become stuck in a trap? Was a fox trying to steal a badger's young?

"HELP!" a shrill, childish voice screamed.

A child was in danger, she realized slowly. Her grip on the obentos tightening, Mitsuki began running towards where the screaming was coming from.

-

-

Naruto and both of the chunins from the front gate stood on the water trying to pull a screaming, thrashing Konohamaru from the water, all of them failing miserably. None of them could understand it. This was a peaceful pond, deep but clear. If Konohamaru had become caught on something they would have been able to see it and free him from it easily. However, as it was all that seemed to be trying to pull the boy from their grasp was clear water.

"Hold him!" Naruto shouted, letting go the boy for a moment. Instantly, Konohamaru sunk a few more inches into the water his mouth now only barely above the water. "Bunshin no jutsu!" In a puff of smoke five Naruto clones appeared and grabbed hold of the two gate chunin. Slowly they all began pulling Konohamaru from the water.

They had just managed to get Konohamaru's shoulders up and out of the water when, to the surprise of all of them, the water beneath their feet began to bubble. In a sudden explosion the clones were destroyed and the ninjas were thrown off their feet, falling back to land as the water sucked Konohamaru under it. Naruto was almost instantly on his feet running back to the water's edge when a grey and black blur ran by him and stopped at the water's edge.

"Kappa-dono!" a female voice shouted, leaning over and slapping her hand on the water's surface. "Kappa-dono, release that child at once!"

"Out of the way!" Naruto shouted, about to knock the person in front of him aside. Instead, a huge plume of water hit him in the chest knocking him back thirty feet.

"Kappa-dono," the woman said again, smiling this time and trying a different approach. "That child is very small, not a very good meal for a mighty Kappa like yourself. Wouldn't you like a better meal, Kappa-dono?"

The water bubbled, giving off the impression that it was growling.

"I have an idea of a meal that would make Kappa-dono very happy," the woman said opening an obento box that she was carrying. "How would Kappa-dono like some cucumber? I have some cucumber sushi that Kappa-dono would surely love..."

The water instantly stopped moving, becoming as smooth as glass.

Pulling out one of the sushi pieces, the woman smiled. "See Kappa-dono? Cucumber sushi! Wouldn't Kappa-dono much rather prefer some delicious cucumber over a skinny, tough child?" Her smile widened a bit as the pond stayed calm. "Oishi cucumber..."

A green scaly hand shot out of the water, grabbing the piece of sushi from her as Konohamaru was tossed out of the water. One of the gate chunin jumped up and caught the coughing boy before he could hit the ground then turned and began racing back to the village, needing to get the child to the hospital. The other chunin and Naruto stayed, watching in amazement as the strange girl slowly coaxed a green, scaly turtle creature out of the water using sushi.

Naruto carefully watched the creature. A bird's beak, a turtle shell, a large crater in it's head filled with water... "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he shouted, pointing to the creature that was currently laying it's head on the girl's lap.

The girl looked up at him, a puzzled look on her face. "It's a Kappa," she said calmly. "Didn't you know it lived here?"

"No," the gate chunin said holding a kunai tightly. He stared at the creature for a long moment. "How do we kill it?"

"Kill it?" the girl asked looking horrified. "You can't kill him!"

"That thing tried to drown and eat one of the village's children. It's a danger to Konoha!"

The woman put her arms around the content Kappa's neck, ignoring the pleased, yet confused noises he was making. "He was starving! If you made a few offerings of cucumbers to him he would protect the village!"

"It's a danger!" the ninja shouted. "Now it away from it!"

"You can't kill Kappa-dono!" she shouted, getting to her feet. "All he needs is a little respect!"

"Out of the way!"

"NO!"

The ninja swore. "Kawarimi no Jutsu!" he shouted quickly replacing the girl with a small tree branch before throwing the kunai.

-

-

Mitsuki sighed. "He really shouldn't have tried to kill Kappa-dono," she muttered helping Naruto pull the unconscious ninja out of the ground. She smiled at the blond boy, grabbing one of the chunin's feet. "We should hurry before he runs out of air," she said cheerfully.

"That was pretty cool," Naruto confessed grabbing the ninja's other foot and pulling. "Did you know that he would do that?"

"No, but kappa have never taken kindly to being mistreated," Mitsuki said. "At least that's what Kappaoji-sama told me..." She frowned. "I think I knew someone called that once... On three. One! Two! Three!"

The ninja came out of the ground with a pop sound, his body from the waist up covered in mud. He was still unconcious too. Probably from the noxious fumes that had come from the kappa during the attack. "You think he'll die?" Naruto asked, bending over to grab the man's arm and pulling it over his shoulder.

"I think he'll live to be wiser," Mitsuki replied, gathering her one remaining obento. The kappa had taken the sushi filled obento with it once it had KO'ed the chunin. It had other sushi besides the cucumber ones in it, but Mitsuki wasn't about to try and stop the ticked off creature.

"So there you are," Kakashi said appearing suddenly. Silently he studied the scene in front of him. Naruto was supporting an unconcious chunin while a woman was standing next to him holding what suspiciously resembled Sasuke's usual obento box. "I heard that a child was nearly drowned."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "Yup! Konohamaru and I went to search the woods for the mission and he went near the water and he got pulled in and we shouted and the gate chunin arrived and he we couldn't pull him out and–" he suddenly stopped, looking thoughtful. "I've got to see if Konohamaru is alright!" he shouted, dropping the chunin and rushing off.

Kakashi watched him go then turned back to look at the girl in front of him. _Black hair, grey tunic, black pants, _he thought to himself remembering the description that Sasuke had given earlier that day. She was missing Naruto's jacket though... He smiled, his one visible eye curving. "Let me walk you home Miss..."

"Mitsuki," the girl supplied looking pleased for some reason. She bowed lowly. "Thank you for the offer but you really don't need to, sir."

Kakashi shook his head, and hoisted the unconcious chunin over his shoulder. "Pleased to meet you Mitsuki-san. I'm Hatake Kakashi. It would really be my pleasure to escort you."

The raven haired girl looked thoughtful for a long time before nodding. "Maybe just to the gate," she said finally, a frown starting to cross her face. "Main gate turn...right?" she muttered quietly, turning and heading towards the pond.

"Ah, Mitsuki-san," Kakashi called, "The village is this way."

"Oh, hai, hai" Mitsuki said sounding distracted. She bowed lowly to the pond, her hair nearly brushing the ground. "Thank you for releasing the child and not killing that man Kappa-dono," her voice was full of respect and courtesy.

Kakashi frowned sightly. Great. Just great. It would figure that she would be crazy.

"I'll be sure to bring you a cucumber soon," she continued, still holding the bow. "Also, if you could do me a favor Kappa-dono, I would be eternally grateful." If anything her bow lowered, her body becoming a perfect ninety degree angle. "If you happen to be talking to any other kappas or a water fairy could you please ask them about a river with rice in it?"

_A river with rice in it? Who would put such a precious thing in a river? _Kakashi thought to himself. _Maybe her brains had been scrambled by the hit Tsunade had told him about?_

"Domo agrigato gozaimasu,1" she said softly, slowly straightening. "Bei bei!2" she said cheerily smiling and giving the pond a quick wave.

Kakashi gave a mental shrug, glad that her strange antics were over. He opened his mouth to call her over to him when he froze. Coming out of the middle of the pond was a large green hand which briefly waved at Mitsuki before vanishing into the pond's depths.

Smiling, Mitsuki turned and ran up to Kakashi, a obento held tightly in her hands. "Thank you for waiting, sir," she said happily. "Are we going to town now?

Kakashi stared at the pond a second longer. He had seen many strange things over the years. Why not a scaly arm coming out of the water? "Yes," he said, turning towards the direction of Konoha. Adjusting the weight of the unconcious chunin, he began walking making sure Mitsuki was able to keep up. "So," he said calmly. "What happened?"

Mitsuki looked up at him puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"To him," Kakashi said gesturing to the chunin on his shoulder with his free hand. It would be a good idea to get the story before hand so he could tell the healers what was wrong when he got to the village.

Mitsuki look at the man, comprehension dawning in her eyes. "You mean how he became unconcious?" She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, he was still concious when Kappa-dono slapped him twice... and he was fine when Kappa-dono hit him into the air with his feet... I think he became unconcious when Kappa-dono broke wind in his face."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"But really, it may have occurred when Kappa-dono buried him. I tried to convince him otherwise, but Kappa-dono insisted that he be buried from the waist up so that the world may truly see him. He also wanted to steal his trousers, but I managed to pacify him with some kappa maki.3" She smiled up at him. "And have you ever known a kappa to pass on kappa maki?"

Kakashi wisely remained silent. He had never seen a kappa before now... Never believed they existed. Then again, if the Nine-Tailed Kitsune had ravaged the town... was a turtle like water spirit all that hard to accept?

-

-

The huge gates of Konoha village rose up sharply, seeming to welcome the silver haired jounin home. Smiling slightly (though no one could tell through the mask) Kakashi felt himself relax a bit. It wasn't a smart thing to do, he realized, but no matter what returning to Konoha always seemed to be the most relaxing thing to do. Besides taking a bubble bath with a rubber duck and one of his books that is...

Waving the guards away ('Sir! Let me help you with him!''No, I've got it..')('You! What is your business in Konoha!?''Err..''Relax, she's with me.') Kakashi walked through the gates before stopping, realizing that Mitsuki wasn't following him. "Something the matter?"

Mitsuki frowned, her face full of concern. "I can't remember which way to turn," she confessed. "I think it may be right... but I also think it may be left as well."

Kakashi shifted the chunin to his other shoulder. He didn't think he was that out of shape but, damn, this guy was getting heavy. "Well, where are you trying to go?" he asked. It didn't really matter where she wanted to go (she was going to go back to the hospital or Tsunade would kill him) but he was sure the Hokage would be interested to know where the girl thought she belonged.

"To Nii-chan's house," she answered feeling a swell of warmth rise within her. She was so proud of herself. She had made such a close friend that he insisted that he call him Nii-chan before she left. _Plus_ he even wanted her at his house. Such a kind man. She couldn't remember a man ever being so kind to her before. Then again, she mentally confessed, she couldn't remember much.

"Where does your brother live?" Kakashi asked, realizing that Mitsuki wasn't going to tell him any more then that.

The warmth of happiness in her grew causing her to blush slightly. "Well, he isn't really my brother. I just met him today and when I told him I couldn't remember where I lived he insisted that I move into his old house," she said. "He said no one would mind and the pleasure would be all his!" she added quickly seeing the blank look that was crossing Kakashi's eye.

Kakashi stared at her. _Damn._ Had he been using all the wrong pick up lines? "Sou desu ne.4"

Mitsuki nodded. "Yes. So which way do you think I should go Hatake-san?"

The chunin over Kakashi's shoulder groaned softly before becoming still. Inspired, Kakashi took a step forward, his free hand gently resting on Mitsuki's shoulder so he could steer her better. "I think you should come to the hospital with me."

"Why?"

"To tell the healers what happened to this man."

"But I told you what happened."

"Yes, but you're the one who saw it happen, ne? It's better coming from a first person account."

Mitsuki frowned, but her face filled with pity as the chunin groaned again. "Alright."

"Good. Now if you would just follow me..."

-

-

Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose sighing heavily. She worked in a mad house. Really. She did. It was the only explanation for all this. Then again... she could be dreaming...

"Well?"

She glared up Kakashi. "They're all mad."

"Not just the girl?"

"Nope. Konohamaru, once he had calmed down, said he had seen something shiny in the water and when he went to see what it was a great green arm shot out of the water and grabbed him. Naruto swore he saw something grab Konohamaru and he and two chunin weren't able to pull him out and that they were forcefully expelled from the surface of the pond. Then, he added that the girl showed up and not only managed to convince _something_ to release Konohamaru, but she also had it eating out of her hand like an overly large house cat. The chunin that brought Konohamaru in confirms Naruto's story that he, Naruto, and his partner were unable to pull Konohamaru out of the water, that they were forced to land by some sort of water explosion, and that the kid was released once the girl showed up and bribed something with _sushi._ The chunin you brought in woke up a few minutes ago babbling something about a monster, water, and farts. And..." She took a deep breath and stopped. This was really ridiculous. Kakashi gazed at her unflinching, silently willing her to go on. "The girl... She's the one you pulled out of the river all right, I remember her... But..." Another long pause. "All her injuries are gone."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"The large bruise on the back of her head? Gone. Her dislocated shoulder? Healed. The ankle that was shattered? She has a mild sprain, that she can't even feel unless she twists it to the side." The Hokage stared down at her revised chart. "She should have been laid up for weeks. Months even, when you think of the shape her ankle was in! But how is she? She tells me that yes, she did feel very ill this morning, but it went away sometime this afternoon."

Kakashi nodded and leaned against a hospital wall. "Interesting."

"Interesting? It's damn near impossible!" Tsunade shouted, throwing the clipboard to the ground so hard that it broke in two. "Hell! It _is_ impossible!" she glared at the closed door that led to the girl's room. "I want to know how she did it..."

"She told me that she had met someone today," Kakashi said calmly. "He invited her to stay with him. Perhaps he healed her?"

"Get a name?"

"She called him Nii-chan, although she said that he wasn't her brother."

"Great, just great," Tsunade growled, picking up her broken clip board. "A pervert?"

"Maybe."

"Healed injuries, a pervert, and people raving about kappas... I need a vacation."

"You just got back from a 25 year long one," Kakashi pointed out.

"Well I need another one," Tsunade snapped, glaring at the jounin. "And I need to know how she managed to heal all that damage in less then a day." Rising to her full height (never a good thing) she thrusted her finger into Kakashi's chest in a fit of sudden inspiration. "You! Your new A rank mission is to discover that kid's secrets and report them to me! I want to know where she came from, how she got those injuries, and more importantly how she healed them and why everyone thinks that there's a kappa in the waters outside of the village! Got it?"

Kakashi almost winced. Really, Tsunade was taking this too far. Him? Following around a girl all day? That was so... Jiraiya. And while he greatly respected the man he was really one to read about perverted tendencies rather then do them. "Hai, hai. Is the genin training on hold then?"

"Nope. Take her with you."

Take her training? Ridiculous. "What if she's a spy or a missing-nin?"

Tsunade scoffed. "Her a ninja? She's too... bubbly. And too trusting. Plus she fell for it when I told her to go out the 'side entrance' and instead locked her into the hospital room." She put a hand on her hip and gazed at the door. "She's not a ninja. She's something else and I want you to find out what it is."

"I'll have to set up surveillance around the hospital then," Kakashi mused out loud thinking of long cold nights spent in trees. He never expected he'd do that outside of missions spent outside of the village. He was going to miss his bed... Hopefully the moonlight would be bright enough to get some reading done though...

"What are you talking about?"

"Since she'll be living here then..."

Tsunade held up a finger, silencing him. "That, Kakashi, is the beauty of it."

Kakashi froze (although you couldn't tell) dreading the words that the Hokage was going to say. He knew what they were going to be, but that didn't mean he couldn't secretly hope that they were going to be something else.

"You won't have to do any surveillance of the hospital simply because she'll be living with you."

_Damn._

-

-

He unlocked the door, opening it wide and gesturing for her to go in first. Smiling weakly, Mitsuki entered and quickly removed her shoes so she could follow Kakashi around during the quick tour of the small apartment. "Kitchen," he said gesturing to a room filled with more dirty dishes, pots and pans then floor space. "Living room." The room was covered in granola bar wrappers, abandoned magazines and newspapers, and instant ramen cups. "Bathroom." The door was closed. Thank kami. "Bedroom." It was the only neat room in the house despite the stacks of books that seemed to be piled everywhere. Kakashi must be an active reader, Mitsuki thought to herself warily. "Questions?"

"Do you ever clean?" Mitsuki asked then clamped her hands over her mouth. "Gomen nasai Hatake-san!" she said quickly, bowing lowly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't think before I spoke... I mean... Your home has much character!"

Kakashi gazed at her, slightly amused. "It's fine," he said looking around warily. "I suppose it is messy even for a bachelor's pad."

"No, not at all!" Mitsuki said waving her hands frantically. "It's homey! Charming really!"

Deciding to ignore her continued protests he looked about wondering what was to be done. "I'll put you in my bed," he said finally, cutting off her insistence that messiness was closest to godliness. He smirked slightly seeing the way her eyes widened slightly. "I've got an old futon in the closet that I'll pull out and sleep on. In the living room."

"Oh, Hatake-san, I couldn't possibly take your bed!" Mitsuki protested her hands restarting their frantic motions. "I'll take the futon! Here I'll go get it!" Quickly going past Kakashi she opened the closet door only to be nearly crushed by the avalanche of old manga and books the flowed out.

Yanking her back (and saving her from being killed), Kakashi gently pushed the now apologizing girl aside and removed a futon from underneath the mess of books before kicking them all back into the closet and shutting the door. "Goodnight Mitsuki-san. If you need a pair of pajamas I have some extra clothes in the top drawer of the dresser that might work."

"No really!" Mitsuki protested, her hands still moving frantically. "I'll sleep on the futon! I couldn't possible take your bed! I'm only a guest!"

She followed him out the bedroom door to the Living Room where she continued to protest as Kakashi set up the futon. Much to his amusement she continued to protest as he silently herded her back to his room and pulled out a pajama set that Gai had once given him for Christmas which he had never used. (Gai's hopes of winning his self proclaimed contest of who could give the most practical, useful gift was crushed when Kakashi calmly informed him that he didn't usually wear anything to bed. Gai ran around the perimeter of Konoha six times backwards, wearing nothing but his 'Christmas Undies' (a green, garnish thing that had Rudolph's bright nose right over the crotch) and Kakashi caught female ninjas trying to break into his apartment late at night every day for four months.) "Here," he said sticking the light blue things in Mitsuki's face.

Mitsuki reflexly took the pajamas her mouth snapping shut. Quiet realization filled her face as she slowly looked from the pajamas to Kakashi. "Are you sure, Hatake-san? I could always still find Nii-chan."

"Do you remember where he lives yet?"

"No, Hatake-san."

"Then you'll stay at my place tonight," Kakashi said firmly. "And stop calling me Hatake-san. Since we'll be staying together you can call me Kakashi."

Mitsuki frowned. "Hatake-san?" she tried, not willing to address her host so informally.

"Kakashi."

"Hatake-kun?"

"Kakashi."

"Kakashi...-sama?"

"Just Kakashi."

"Kakashi-dono!" she said smiling brightly.

"Ka. Ka. Shi," he said sounding out each syllable.

"Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi frowned underneath his mask. It was late. Tsunade had spent hours telling Kakashi the details of what exactly she wanted to know (everything), the methods Kakashi was to use to get said information (slowly as to not arouse suspicion (like moving her in with a perfect stranger wasn't suspicious)), and threatening him with all sorts of bodily harm if he groped or manhandled Mitsuki in any way (He read Jiraiya's books. Jiraiya was EVIL. So the books were EVIL. That meant Kakashi was EVIL. But he was still a damn good ninja). "I guess that will do," he relented. Maybe if he addressed her informally she would get the hint and do the same? "Goodnight Mitsuki-chan."

Mitsuki beamed up at him. "'Night Kakashi-san!"

Then again, maybe not.

-

-

-

-

-

1: Thank you very much

2: Bye bye! (It's the cute way of saying it)

3: Kappa Maki is sushi made up of rice, seaweed, and cucumber. On a side note Tokyo Sushi has the best Kappa Maki that I've ever had.

4: Is that so.

Wow long chapter this is for me... Assume any and all spelling, grammar, or just plain stupid errors were done on purpose. We'll all be happier that way.

Like kappas? A basic site for info about kappas is Metropolis - Big in Japan. Search in Google for Kappa Japan and it should be the first or second link. It was a great quick reference point when I was writing this chapter.

I don't think this chapter needs an explanation. It's pretty straight-forward... Review and tell me otherwise if you want

Alright. Now I've got to get to bed. It's 2 in the morning, I've got class at 9, and my dormmate is trying to sleep while I've got almost all of the lights on in the room. I swear, one of these days she's going to kill me and throw me into the portage...


	5. I really didn't mean to

My obsession with Jiraiya continues... He's now my background. What the hell is it with me and anime guys who are old enough (if they were real) to be my Grandpa!?

And to all my friends who called me and yelled at me for putting the image of Gai in Rudolph undies... It was a thong too...

What? I have to make them call me somehow...

Chapter 4: I really didn't mean to...

Kakashi managed to awaken, eat breakfast, and shower before remembering that there was a guest in the house. And therein lay the problem. Wearing nothing but a towel and his mask he couldn't exactly walk into his bedroom. What if she was awake? What if she woke up? More importantly, what if Tsunade found out? Some of the threats targeting more... _delicate_ parts of his anatomy had sounded rather painful. Besides, one day he thought it might be nice to have children...

Well, he could probably wear the same set of clothes for another day, he reasoned returning to the bathroom and taking the dirty clothes off the floor. After all, he'd worn stuff that was worse. Dressing quickly Kakashi went through the rest of his morning ritual (stretches, 50 jumping jacks, 100 finger-push ups, 200 crunches, and three chapters of _Icha Icha Paradise_) before ending up in front of his bedroom door again. Was she still asleep? If so, he'd better let her rest. Or...

Or had she gone out the window in the middle of the night?

If she was a normal person, Kakashi reasoned, she would have trusted her guts and fled out the window. A lone, defenseless woman staying at the home of a strong male ninja? Any sane woman would flee. _Hell,_ most of the town would help her escape depending on who she was staying with. (Jiraiya instantly came to mind...)

Now, if she was a ninja she would have stayed. A ninja would think things through and realize that it would seem too suspicious to flee in the middle of the night. Plus, she would feel secure in the knowledge that if the male ninja _did_ try to sneak a peek (or comp a feel) she could always beat the shit out of him claiming womanly problems and emotional scarring.

Kakashi reached towards the door knob, mentally prepared to find the room empty or to have hundreds of sharp objects flying towards his vital areas. To his slight disappointment he instead found option number three to this situation. She was sound asleep on his bed, hugging a pillow, with the blankets twisted about her. That was really too bad, he thought to himself, he'd almost been hoping for the sharp objects. At least then she would be out of his apartment and in jail where she couldn't be curled up in his bed, wearing his pajamas, sunlight streaming, her chest slowly rising and falling as she breathed through pink lips...

He shut the door and left the apartment, his hands in his pockets. Time to visit Obito, he decided stopping briefly to buy an offering. Pray for Obito's immortal soul, tell the team to practice walking on water (giving Sakura a more difficult assignment since he was sure she'd be able to do this easily), go home and try to pry secrets out of Mitsuki's head.

Day planned, the silver haired jounin continued his path to the memorial, in some way sure that the spirit of Obito (wherever it may be) would be happy to see his old friend.

-

-

Obito was **_pissed_**.

Sitting on top of the memorial he glared at Kakashi. It would figure that he was here giving his daily respects and the girl was nowhere to be found. She hadn't gone to the Uchiha complex last night, she hadn't been wondering the streets, she hadn't been in the entire village! He knew, he had checked. For all Obito knew the kid could have been lying dead in a ditch ruining all of Obito's plans.

Tuning Kakashi out, Obito silently grumbled the visit away. It wasn't as if he didn't appreciate his friend coming, it was just... He sighed. Sometime after the first hundred 'I'm sorry for failing you' apologies the one sided conversations just started to get old. Team 7 had perked his interest for awhile but now it was all 'Naruto said this' and 'You would like Sasuke because that.' It almost made Obito want to scream 'GET OVER IT!' and brain Kakashi with a stick just like he always tried to do when he was younger.

Damn Kakashi... Always so serious... Even when he was five and passing the genin test Obito had known he'd had a stupid serious look plastered on under that stupid mask of his.

Still ignoring the man, Obito turned his gaze to the sky. Why was he being so inpatient? He was dead after all... he had all of eternity.

_"Damn you girl! GET OVER HERE NOW, MITSUKI!!_!"

-

-

Mitsuki shivered a little, sitting up in bed. What had awoken her? She'd been having a pleasant dream about... _something _(she couldn't remember what) then she'd woken up with such a feeling of unease...

There was a pounding sound coming from somewhere nearby followed by a loud shout. "Open up! I know you're in there!"

Mitsuki blinked. Or that had awoken her... Scrambling out of bed, she untangled herself from the sheets and followed the noise to the front door. Yes, the voice and the pounding was coming from the other side of it, although she didn't know what to do. She couldn't remember what one was supposed to do when someone was at the door. How did one greet them? Were you supposed to bow? How about...

"Open up!" the voice shouted again. "I can hear you moving around in there! If you don't open up I'll break down the door!"

To avoid damage being done to Hatake-san's apartment, Mitsuki quickly opened the door smiling at the man who was behind it. "Hello!" she said cheerfully, not sure of what else to say.

The tall man stared over her head for a moment, as if wondering who had opened the door, then looked down. His eyes widened and he blushed grabbing his nose seeing Mitsuki framed in the door, obviously just out of bed and wearing too big for her pajamas. "Is Kakashi here?" he asked his voice muffled by his hand over his face.

Mitsuki looked up at him, confused. Why was his face turning all red? Was he feeling alright? "I'm not sure," she admitted. "Are you one of Kakashi-san's friends?"

"I am Maito Gai!" the man proclaimed adverting his eyes. With this much of a height difference he could see right down her shirt... "Kakashi's Eternal Rival!"

"Oh." Mitsuki was puzzled. She had thought rivals were a bad thing, but why would this red faced man come if he was bad? Maybe rival was another word for friend? She beamed up at him. "In that case come in!" she said happily. "I'll see if Kakashi's still here."

Gai followed the smaller woman in grimacing at the state of Kakashi's apartment. Messy as always... Really the girl fit in, he thought. Messy bed head, the ill fitting blue pajamas... Wait a second...

Mitsuki turned around, alarmed by the gasping sound Gai had made followed by a large crash. Gai had collapsed on the floor, clutching a gushing nosebleed. "Maito-san!" she gasped, kneeling by him. "What happened!? Oh, I'll get you a rag!" she said running off to find something to help the ninja with.

Gai ignored her departure too deep in his own thoughts. Girls walking about in Kakashi's clothes... Suddenly everything made sense. Kakashi's mask, those books, the A-rank missions, the girls who always tripped and fell needing to be saved while Kakashi was around, why he admitted he didn't wear anything to bed... Kakashi was a pervert!

Shocked, Gai sat and wondered how this could be so. Well, the books really were a good hint but what would cause a pervert to actually be able to snag a girl? His rival wasn't that great. He couldn't cook or sew like Gai could. He didn't have a 'good guy' pose as cool as Gai's. He didn't even have a fashion sense like Gai did! So what was it about him!? It must be the Sharigan he realized with a start. He was using that eye to hypnotize the women of the world! And... (tears began running down his face) the poor girl who opened the door was one of his many victims! Kakashi must have met her late last night at a bar, gotten her drunk, taken her home and... The poor thing! Forced to wear the pajamas that he, Maito Gai, had bought Kakashi since her own clothes had been ripped to shreds by that... that..._**monster.**_

"Ano... Maito-san..." Mitsuki said bringing Gai out of his thoughts. She was kneeling by his side, a concerned look on her face. "Ano... I brought you a towel..."

"Bless you, child!" Gai shouted and grabbed her, placing a hand on each shoulder. "Don't worry, it's over now! I'll protect you and take you to Tsunade! Together that monster... **Will. Be. Stopped**."

Mitsuki laughed warily, hoping he'd let go of her soon. "Ah, Maito-san," she said smiling. "You're scaring me..."

"There's no reason to be afraid!" Gai shouted, leaping to his feet and doing his 'good guy' pose. "I will protect you!"

Mitsuki slowly stood up placing the towel in Gai's hand. "Ano... Maito-san why don't you lie down for a bit? There's a futon in the living room and I'll see if I can find you some hot tea if you like," Mitsuki said slowly pushing Gai towards the living room.

"Please, call me Gai," Gai said wiping the blood off his face. "Or better yet, why not call me Gai-kun!"

_Scary..._ Mitsuki thought to herself, helping Gai lay down. "Alright Gai...-kun. Now, you lie down and I'll make some tea," she said practically fleeing the room.

Gai lay on the futon, smiling. The poor girl... she was terrified over what that perverted Kakashi might do to her if she went to the proper authorities. It was alright though... After Kakashi came back he would defeat the silver haired ninja and show the girl that there was nothing more to fear...

-

-

Mitsuki sighed, leaving the room. She had just managed to escape the strange, scary man... Who knew that serving tea would become so dangerous? The entire time she had been in the room he had told her how everything was fine, and how he would protect her from the evils of Kakashi. This was confusing since Kakashi hadn't seemed evil at all. Oni were evil, Mitsuki thought, the image of a great red and black monster running after her through a forest she couldn't name. She shivered, setting the tea tray on the kitchen table. While she couldn't remember much of what went on before she came here, she was immensely grateful that it seemed to be over. The bed she had slept on had been the most wonderfully soft thing and while the people here were strange they seemed friendly.

Sighing she glanced around the kitchen dismayed by the mess she saw. This was just ridicules. It had been a miracle she'd been able to find a tea kettle and tea in this place. Were all men this messy? A quiet determination setting in, Mitsuki decided to get dressed, clean up Gai's blood from the main hall, and then make the kitchen spotless. After all, it was the least she could do considering all that Kakashi had done for her...

-

-

Surprising. The only one who couldn't walk on water on their first try was Sasuke. As he'd expected, Sakura had caught the hang of water walking after only a moment and Naruto had been able to do it from the get-go... Kakashi suspected that the boy's trip with Jiraiya had something to do with that, but decided to say nothing. Perhalps this would motivate Sasuke to learn the technique faster. So, instead of just Sakura practicing the forbidden ninjutsu technique of meditation (he had to put it that was so that Naruto would agree to do it) two of his three students meditated while the third tried his best to master walking on water.

Kakashi walked down the busy streets of Konoha, expertly weaving in and out of the crowd on his was to his destination. First thing first. Since Mitsuki hadn't tried to kill him that morning, that probably meant she'd be around for awhile. That meant he had to get her a spare key to his apartment. Not that she'd ever be leaving his side (Tsunade would kill him for letting her information get out of her sight), but he had to give her some small feeling of freedom to make her feel more comfortable. That being said, he placed an order for a second key to be made and began wandering the market wondering what else would be necessary for his guest to have.

Well, she was a girl so that meant more clothes, Kakashi thought walking past a few clothing stores that looked promising. After all, if Sakura (a ninja) filled her bag with spare clothes and bathing supplies for every mission (while the males filled theirs with junk food) why would a non-ninja be any different? But how much would she need exactly? And how should he present the bill to Tsunade so that she would pay for it? Maybe a business expense? Or should he just admit that she needed more clothes? Tsunade was a girl, surely she's understand.

Another thing was food. He was feeding two now, effectively doubling his food bill. Well, cooking was cheaper then the take-out he usually always ended up buying. Maybe she would cook for him? He sighed, feeling hopeful, but highly doubting that would be true. He supposed that he could be the one cooking the meals. He did know how to do it after all... But it was such a bother! Timing the rice and meal so that they would be done at the same time, figuring out what to cook, figuring out how to cook it, washing the dishes... That was all very valuable time in which he could be re-reading one of the _Icha Icha Paradise_ volumes.

Kakashi glanced at his watch. 10:10. The key should be done now. Heading back to the locksmith's shop Kakashi wondered what he should do when he got back to his apartment. Should he act casual and pretend that it was a regular day off? Or should he sit her down and try a friendly non-torture interrogation to figure out what exactly she knew and how that information effected the well-being of Konoha?

Picking up the key from the locksmith Kakashi mused a third option. Maybe he should just give her a tour of town? She was a supposedly new comer to the area after all. A tourist... All tourists loved to tour things, right? Mentally shrugging, Kakashi walked up the steps to his apartment. He'd have to decide once he got inside. Mitsuki could still be sleeping after all... Only if that was true he'd have to call a Tsunade to check up on her. Nobody could sleep until ten o'clock in the afternoon without something wrong with them.

Opening the unlocked door, Kakashi was about to call out a greeting when something hard and fast crashed into his jaw, knocking him back across the hall. Dammit! Kakashi thought, diving to the side to avoid the next attack. She'd read his thoughts knowing that he was prepared for an attack this morning, but wouldn't be later on in the day. He jumped back and leapt to his feet, rapidly making seals with his hands and watching the open apartment door for her to emerge. He'd simply knock her out, tie her up, and bring her kicking and screaming to Tsunade where... _What the **hell**?_

Gai leaped out through the apartment door his hands in fists, coming straight for Kakashi. _A transformation?_ Kakashi thought to himself countering the attack. His foot coming up, Kakashi round-house kicked the Gai look-alike down the hall before he could get close enough to attack. The crash of Gai hitting the wall echoed up and down the hallway causing many of the people in the building to wonder if there had been some sort of accident outside.

Ready to counter any other attacks that Mitsuki may have had ready for him, Kakashi was prepared for it when the Gai look-alike got back to his feet and charged him again. This time the charge was more defensive, a perfect imitation of Gai's attack. Kakashi knew this move well and was prepared to counter this one as well when the real Mitsuki stepped out of his apartment's doorway, broom in hand. "What's going on out— _**EEK**_!" she shrieked seeing Gai rushing towards her.

Kakashi just stared as the Gai look-alike tried to stop from ramming into Mitsuki while the frightened girl raised the broom in a meager form of defense.

"Watch out!" Gai shouted stepping to the side so he'd only clip Mitsuki and not run her over.

"Keep away from me!" Mitsuki shrieked, her voice hurting Kakashi's ears as she swung the broom. It connected with Gai's head with a resounding **'CrACk!'** Gai flew backwards down the hall and through the wall as the broom snapped in two, the smaller piece remaining in Mitsuki's hands. Trembling slightly, Mitsuki clutched the remains of the broom to her chest and stared down the hall at the hole, breathing hard.

A heartbeat passed.

"Kami," Mitsuki breathed. "GAI-KUN!" she shouted running down the hall. "GAI-KUN DAIJOUBU!?"1

Cursing under his breath, Kakashi raced after her, grabbing her to stop her from falling through the large hole in the wall before looking down. A KO'ed Gai lay in the shrubs of the neighboring building's garden, a small furry dog barking at the still man. Gai's image still firmly in place Kakashi realized that the Gai look-alike had been no other then Gai himself. He glanced down at the concerned looking Mitsuki as she tried to pull away from him.

"Let me go!" she shouted, realizing that the silver haired man wasn't't releasing her. "I need to see if he's alright!"

Noticing that she was headed for the stairs, Kakashi grabbed her up in his arms (ignoring the shriek of protest) before jumping next to Gai's side. "Faster," he said, setting her down.

Mitsuki ignored his explanation and instead grabbed Gai's hand looking down at the man, concerned. "Gai-kun?" she asked looking tense. "Are you alright?"

Wondering how Gai had managed to get her to call him 'kun' Kakashi reached around her and took Gai's pulse. "He's alive," he said reassuringly.

Mitsuki nodded, but her eyes were filling with tears. Squeezing Gai's hand gently, Mitsuki took a few steps away, ignoring the little yappy dog which was angrily yipping at her feet. Kakashi watched her walk off and decided it would probably be a good idea to ignore her. This was probably one of those moments where a person wanted to be alone and...

"Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki sobbed, throwing her arms around him and burying her face into his back. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt him! I really didn't! All I could think about was oni and them chasing me and I got scared and..." she broke into sobs and let go, collapsing to her knees.

Kakashi gazed down at her, wondering what it was that she had just said. With her face in his back all he had heard were muffled sounds followed by sobs. Well, it probably wasn't important, he thought, slowly kneeing down. "He's alive," he repeated patting her on the head. "You just knocked him out."

"I didn't mean to..." Mitsuki cried rubbing her eyes with her hand. "I really, really didn't."

"I believe you," Kakashi said smiling brightly. "I'm sure Gai will believe you too. It's really okay, Mitsuki-chan."

From behind them, Gai gave a long suffering groan before slowly sitting up. "What hit me?" he muttered reaching for his head.

Patting her on the head once more, Kakashi stood and turned back to Gai. "Why'd you attack me, Gai?" he asked crossing his arms and standing over the man.

Gai pointed an accusing finger at him. "Because you're a pervert!" he shouted, leaping to his feet. "I know what you're up to Hatake Kakashi! You're hypnotizing all the women of Konoha so they'll fall in love with you! But now that I know I'll stop you! I swear I will!"

Hypnotize someone to fall in love with him? Now there was a use for his Sharigan he'd never thought of before... "What are you talking about?"

"Her!" Gai shouted, pointing at the sniffling Mitsuki. "You got her drunk and hypnotized her and took her home and did all sorts of horrible things to her, destroying her clothes and..." he trailed off seeing the looks he was getting and noticing that Mitsuki was dressed in a pair of clothes that actually fit her. Looking up at Kakashi he smiled briefly. "She hit me really hard."

"She thought you were attacking her," Kakashi said trying not to smile. He wasn't sure what had gone on while he was gone, but he had a feeling that it was something funny.

"I wasn't attacking her, I was attacking the pervert!"

"Excuse me!" Mitsuki said, her voice still a little strained from all the crying. "H-How about we go inside and I'll make us all an early lunch?" she offered, smiling. Kakashi and Gai exchanged looks and mentally agreed. Better to eat lunch then fight.

"Alright," he said turning and heading back towards the apartment building. Looking up at the hole still in the wall he sighed. "I'll have to fix that this afternoon..."

"Oh no, Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki protested, running up. "I wrecked it so I'll fix it right after lunch."

"Well, technically I broke it," Gai said picking up a piece of broken board and studying it carefully. "So I'll fix it."

"Oh no Gai-kun! I've got it, really!" Mitsuki said taking the board from his hands. "It was my fault it broke so I'll fix it," she promised, smiling. Then she frowned, looking around. "Kakashi-san?"

"Yes?"

"How do we get back into the building?" she asked. There were no doors leading back to Kakashi's apartment building, and a tall fence blocked off the small garden from the street.

Kakashi smiled, picking her up ("Ka-Kakashi-san, what are you doing!?") and jumped the distance from the ground to the hole in the wall. "Like that," he said setting her down. Smiling he tapped her on the nose. "And I'll fix the wall."

"No Kakashi-san, you can't!"

"She's right you know," Gai said landing next to them. "I'm fixing it."

"Gai-kun!"

Kakashi raised a hand, silencing her protests. "So what about lunch?"

Mitsuki flushed, turned, and ran back towards the apartment. "It'll be ready soon!" she called, rushing into the apartment.

Gai laughed. "So if she's not your conquest, what is she?" he asked Kakashi, one of his scary thick eyebrows raised.

"The Hokage's new mission for me," Kakashi said shrugging. "Protection and interrogation."

"Interesting combination."

"Yeah," Kakashi said studying the hole in the wall. It was a clean job, most of the boards seeming to have flown out from the impact (taking their nails with them) instead of breaking. This would be easy to fix. All he needed to do was find his hammer and pound the boards and nails back in. Really, it was nothing to worry about. The strange thing though... He'd never seen someone make a hole like that before.

Gai looked at Kakashi look at the hole. "Something the matter?"

"This is strange," Kakashi said pointing to the wall. "Have you ever seen entire boards come off when someone was thrown into them?"

Gai frowned. "No, usually they break. Maybe these weren't attached properly?"

"Maybe." Frowning, Kakashi looked down at the garden below. While Gai had flown back and landed in the bushes near the center of the garden, the boards had fallen straight down into a flower bed. However (and this was strange) the boards had fallen at such strange angles that not a single flower had been crushed. Now how had that happened? The little furry dog below them continued to yip and bark at them as though furious that they had interrupted it's peaceful day. Where had the dog been when the Gai had been smacked through the wall?

"Want me to gather the boards?" Gai asked misinterpreting what Kakashi was looking at.

"I've got it," Kakashi said preparing to leap down. Stopping he glanced at Gai. "Go into the apartment and don't let Mitsuki out of your sight."

Nodding, Gai did as he was told as Kakashi leapt down and gathered the boards up, the little dog barking at him the entire time.

-

-

Meanwhile...

"You sure you felt it?"

"I'm positive sir. She must have somehow survived the river."

The man cursed, glaring at the sky. "Find her!" he snapped, turning his gaze to his men. "Find her, get her to tell you where it is, and once it's secure, kill her."

"Yes sir!" the men said vanishing away.

The man turned and gazed up at the moon in the daylit sky. That bitch... She wouldn't escape them this time...

-

-

-

-

-

1: Are you okay/alright?

That's it. Nothing really to explain in this one. I did mention Oni, but since they'll be a whole 'nother chapter about them I'll explain them later. Well, since I don't have much to add I might as well do Reviews... Just Chapter 4 though, I've got to get ready for fencing.

-

Watch-Da-Rain: Yes. He is very sexy. You wanna know who's sexier though? Gai in a thong... Heh Heh... (covers eyes) Oh god! The mental image! (Screams and bashes brains out)

Kashilover: Yah, I was thinking of the sixth sense the entire time I was writing that scene. Only, Obito isn't all covered in blood like most ghosts are. I wonder how he died anyway... It's not really 'poor little American me' either. When I was in high school we'd get all these Japanese exchange students and I'd ask them about things like Yuki-Onna and they's stare at me all 'Dude. What's dat?' The Japanese are raising a generation of children ignorant of their own culture who worship American Pop. It's really very, very sad... (Or maybe our exchange students were just really stupid)

Kuro Shi: Dear Black Death. Did you know I like your screen name? I do. I saw it and thought Black Four, but then thought that was silly and went for Death instead. Glad you know where the story's going. I don't. Can you tell me what goes on in the next chapter? The picture's kinda fuzzy besides the feeling that Tanuki will be involved. Or did I decide that the Anaguma would be next? (Shrugs) No really, I'm serious. If you have any suggestions I'd be more then willing to consider them. Your ideas may be better then mine. Any myths you would like be to weaved in would also be helpful too.

Kodomo: Aww... I'm touched. Really. You're grammer's fine (says the person who starts sentences with But and And). I'm an engineering major, not an English one. Don't really care how many review's I get. I almost didn't check to see if I had any, then I realized my Author's Notes was going to be really pitiful if I didn't do something quick. But you make the review number go up to 12 after all.. (pats Kodomo on the head) Wanna lolli?

Okay.. Now I'm late for fencing... Later.

JaDErUst


	6. Oni Attack

What happens when you mix a term paper rough draft (on opera), Naruto episode 101, the rest of the Halloween candy, a fireplace, and a game of Go?

JaDErUst doesn't get anything done!

Let the ignore my homework 'cause it's only college party continue!!! (To be followed by the 'panic! I ignored my homework and it's college' party in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...)

Chapter 5: Oni Attack

The sun had just set when Gai said his goodbyes. Finally, Kakashi thought to himself, turning the page of his book. It was one thing for Gai to follow him around, challenging him to stupid contests, it was another for him to be hanging around his house all day babbling endlessly. Thank kami the man had remembered he was late for his team meeting. Although only Gai would think that his team would still be there after six hours... (Actually, Gai was right. Rock Lee was still waiting for him, although Ten-Ten and Neji had left five hours ago.)

Mitsuki made herself useful by cleaning the dinner dishes and the tea mugs before tidying the living room. Kakashi watched her out of the corner of his eye, silently amazed by the progress she was making. The apartment hadn't looked this clean since he'd first moved in. Satisfied with the progress she had made, Mitsuki sat down in a chair a puzzled look on her face. She was supposed to have done something today, but what? Grocery shopping could wait a day or two longer, the bathroom was on her 'things to do in the morning' list, they had already eaten dinner...

Gasping, she jumped to her feet feeling horrified that she had forgotten to meet up with Obito today. Running to the main hall she quickly put on her sandals, shouted 'I'm going!' to Kakashi, opened the door, and shrieked.

Standing on the other said was Kakashi, his arms crossed over his chest. He reached out and grabbed Mitsuki's shoulder, stopping her from falling on her rear. "Where are you going so late?" he asked, smiling disarmingly.

Mitsuki gaped at him, a hand over her heart. "H-How did you do that?" she asked looking from the living room entrance to Kakashi and back.

"Ninja," Kakashi said simply. "Now answer my question."

Mitsuki blinked up at him. "Really? I mean... I was going to go visit Nii-chan. I forgot I had promised to meet him today..."

_Nii-chan? _Kakashi thought to himself. _Oh yeah, the man that Mitsuki-chan met... Wait a second... _"You're supposed to meet him this late at night?" he asked dubiously, looking at his watch.

"Ano... I was supposed to come by three," Mitsuki admitted, flushing. "But I'm sure he's still there!"

"Where are you supposed to meet him?"

"The giant stone thing," Mitsuki replied. "The one where the top secret gennin bell trial takes place."

_Bell trial? The only one who does the bell trial these days is me,_ Kakashi thought to himself. _How does she know about it then? _He glanced at his watch again. "The monument?"

Mitsuki nodded happily. "Hai."

"I doubt he's there," Kakashi said re-entering the apartment and shutting the door behind him. "The sun's already set and there's no lights at the monument at night. He probably went home."

Mitsuki frowned. "Honto ni?"1

Kakashi nodded. "Gomen, Mitsuki-chan. I'll bring you to the monument tomorrow though." He smiled at her brightly. "I'll bet he'll be there then."

Mitsuki sighed and nodded. "Hai, hai." Silently, she took off her sandals and returned to the living room. For some reason she thought Kakashi was wrong. She was sure that Obito-kun was still there... She sighed. Well, if he was there she hoped he wasn't too mad at her...

-

-

"'Nother?"

"Whys the hell snot?" Obito asked taking the offered bottle and taking a sip. Smiling he leaned back on the memorial and sighed happily. "Yo-You know, you're not halv bad, Mori."

The shinigami grinned, his face red. "Tanks man. You don't know how much dat means ta me."

Giggling, Obito drank some more of the sake, his head clouding more and more with every sip. Well, this really was a good end to the day, he realized. Mitsuki had never shown up, annoying and worrying him. So he'd been in a bad mood when Mori had shown up, the man's oath that he would send Obito to heaven infuriating him like nothing before. Yet, this time things had changed. Instead of going back to the netherworld as usual, Mori had stuck around, offering Obito sake. Thinking it was a trap, Obito had kicked the stuffing out of the shinigami twice more before settling down for a friendly drink.

"Waz so funny?" Fukai asked as Obito's giggles became hiccups of joy.

"Stuffing."

Laughing loudly the two spirits embraced each other before falling into a drunken silence. Mori Fukai took the bottle of sake from Obito and swallowed the rest of the clear liquid. Tossing the bottle aside he pulled another from his bag. "Mor?" he offered.

Obito grinned stupidly. "How man bottles do ya have in dat bag, Mori?"

Fukai grinned sheepishly. "Gotta have ten er twenty of 'em..."

Obito laughed. This was the most hilarious thing he'd ever heard. "Mori, yer betta not be gettin meh drunk ta come with ya," he slurred taking the bottle. "I'll kick yer ass if dat's it."

"Nah," Fukai said grabbing a bottle of his own. "Aye can't defate ya 'Bito. Yer a hard ass."

They both laughed hysterically at the word ass.

"'sides," Fukai added, wiping tears of mirth from his face and spilling sake all over his black ukata and hakama. "I'm sho drunk aye cann't evan figur where mah... mah..."

"Sword?"

Both laughed at the word sword.

"Yah!" Fukai said excitedly. He looked around puzzled. "Were'd mah sword go man?"

Obito shrugged. "Dunno. Da woods? I tink I kicked it dare when ya 'ttacked meh."

"Bastard!" Fukai shouted, punching Obito in the shoulder. Then he laughed hysterically. "Aye'm in such deep she-ate...."

Obito laughed with him, clutching his sides. "Yah man! Deep shit!" he agreed.

"Yes, yes," a deep and amused voice said from behind them. They turned to see a large creature hovering over them, it's claws bared and grinning toothily at them. "Deep shit."

Uchiha Obito and Mori Fukai stared up at the creature for a long moment, instantly sober. "Shit..."

-

-

Mother was cooking breakfast, Kakashi thought to himself, slowly awakening. He should get up and help her...

_Mother's been dead for twenty years, _a small voice whispered in the back of his mind.

Sitting up Kakashi realized that this was true. So who was cooking? He'd better get dressed and find out. Glancing down at himself the sleepy jounin realized that he was already in his usual outfit minus the vest.

_...That was fast,_ he thought to himself, getting to his feet. _Now to see who's in my apartment. I swear, if it's Gai again I'm just going to kill him... Can Gai even cook?_

"Morning!" Mitsuki said happily as Kakashi entered the room. "I made breakfast Kakashi-san!"

Kakashi gazed at the grey eyed woman for a moment. Who was she again? Oh yeah, his A-rank mission. "Morning," he said sitting down. He blinked in surprise. The table was cleared and had a newspaper on it. Today's newspaper no less. That was different... "You got the paper."

Mitsuki glanced over her shoulder, a puzzled look on her face. "It was on the landing."

"Honto?"

"Yes!" she said cheerfully.

Kakashi pondered over this mystery for a moment (there had never been papers on the landing before...) before smelling the breakfast cooking again. "Ah, Mitsuki-chan, let me help you with that," he said rising.

"Oh no!" she protested. "I've got it! Besides, I have to do something to repay you for taking me in and fixing the wall for me..." She flushed slightly and turned back to her cooking. "Breakfast will be done in just a moment."

Nodding absently, Kakashi sat and unfolded the paper, beginning to read. According to this, Jiraiya had just been found non-guilty of the offense of 'peeking for the intent of perverted fantasies' in the Hidden Village of Lightning. (_So that's why I haven't seen him for three months..._) According to the article Jiraiya has insisted that his peeking had been 'for research purposes only' and had convinced the all male jury by giving them each their own copy of _Makeout Violence _volume 7.

_That really was one of the best,_ Kakashi thought to himself setting the paper aside. Maybe he should read that one today at training?

"All done!" Mitsuki said brightly setting a steaming bowl of rice down before Kakashi. Next to that she placed a bowl containing a raw egg yolk, some tea, and the last of the smoked salmon that Kakashi had bought last week.

He stared at the meal before him for a long moment. "I have a rice cooker?"

Mitsuki blinked then smiled. "Yes. I found it under a pile of old newspapers and instant ramen wrappers," she said turning to clean the breakfast dishes.

"Oh." Kakashi poured the yolk over the rice, the heat quickly cooking the egg. "Itadakimasu."

Mitsuki glanced over her shoulder to see if Kakashi seemed to be liking his meal only to see the man re-covering his face, the food gone. "Goshisosamadeshita."

Mitsuki blinked, staring hard. Had he eaten the food or just inhaled it? Really she had thought that lunch and dinner yesterday had been flukes... Maybe not? "Ano... Kakashi-san, would you like some more to eat?"

Kakashi shook his head, patting his stomach. "No thanks. That was good by the way." He stood, stretching. "Would you like to go to the memorial now?"

Mitsuki nodded happily. "Hai! Just let me finish cleaning these."

Kakashi opened his mouth to tell her that leaving them was fine when there was a knock on the door. "Hmm, who could that be?" he muttered, heading towards the front door. He opened the door. "Ah, hello Anko. Wha-"

"Get a move on Hatake!" Anko shouted, smacking Kakashi on the back of the head. "Dammit, do you always have to be late?"

"Late?" Kakashi asked, rubbing the back of his head. He knew he was usually late to meet his team, but why would Anko be upset about that? "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't get the message?" At Kakashi's shake of the head Anko began swearing vehemently. "Someone was fighting last night by the memorial," she explained. "Tsunade called a meeting of the jounins to inspect the battle field."

Kakashi nodded, still confused to why that was needed. However, an order was an order...

"Kakashi-san, what's going on?" Mitsuki asked appearing in the entry way to the kitchen.

Kakashi thought for an instant. "Stay here," he ordered, sliding on his own sandals. "I'll be back soon."

"But Kakashi-san-"

"Stay," he ordered and shut the door firmly.

-

-

Mitsuki stared at the shut door feeling blank. Kakashi had ordered her to stay behind. He had ordered her to stay behind. He had _ordered_ her....

He had no right to order _anything_!

She glared at the door, a deep anger bubbling up inside of her. How _dare_ he? He was only a human, how dare he order her to do anything!

A small part of her screamed a protest as she put on her sandals._ What are you doing? _the voice demanded, sounding almost frantic. _He's your host, you owe him so much!_

Mitsuki slammed the apartment door shut behind her and locked it. She was going to visit Obito now come hell or high water. Ignoring the protesting, screaming voice inside of her she left the building and headed toward the gate of Konoha.

-

-

Kakashi stared what had been the memorial and training field in a sort of shock. How had this happened? Where the memorial had been there was instead a deep crater with scorched edges, water slowing filling up the inside. Fragments with carved names on them littered the area along with the sharp jagged spikes of broken trees. A somber looking Gai was holding the hilt of a broken sword that had been nearby. The blade had been covered in a deep red-black blood with thick white fur or hair tangled about the hilt. The blade had been cleanly broken about six inches from the hilt, leaving no hints to what had broken it. However, despite the blood that covered the sword, there was not a drop of blood to be found in the entire area.

"Thoughts anyone?" Tsunade asked, grimly looking about the assembled jounins.

"Nobody noticed anything?" Asuma asked, looking surprised. "There was this much destruction and nobody noticed it occuring?"

Tsunade nodded. "The guards didn't hear a peep. Whoever did this managed to do it completely silently."

"Whoever did this had malicious intent against Konoha," one man said, his face unknown to Kakashi. "Tentatively I would suggest the Nine-Tails as the culprit."

Kakashi fixed the man with a glare. "Naruto would never do this. He knows what the memorial is, he respects it."

"I did not suggest the boy," the man snapped. "I simply believe that the Nine-Tails may be breaking the seal. Perhaps this is a warning."

"The Fourth's seal will not break."

"Not unless someone purposely tries to break it..."

Tsunade held up her hand, stopping Kakashi voicing from his retort. "I don't believe that Naruto or the Nine-Tails is responsible for this," she stated clearly. "Besides, to talk of these things is forbidden."

The jounin were silent for a moment. "What of the sword?" Anko asked, eyeing the thing in Gai's hand. "Where was that found?"

"A meter beyond the tree line," Gai replied, holding the sword out for all to see.

"I've examined it briefly, it seems to be covered in blood of an unknown origin," Tsunade said.

"Meaning?"

"It's not human. The remaining chakra in it is too strange."

The man who had suggested that Naruto was the culprit opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. He had noticed the angry look both Tsunade and Kakashi had given him. "How is it strange?" he asked instead.

Tsunade sighed. She had been dreading this question. "There is no easy explanation," she finally said. "Simply, in most cases blood loses it's chakra once removed from the body in a matter of minutes. This blood on the other hand is full of chakra although it's been on the sword for hours."

Kakashi stood there for a long moment thinking carefully. "Could it be the kappa?" he asked quietly.

Tsunade nodded while the rest of the jounin looked puzzled. Kappa? What was Kakashi talking about? "It is possible," she said. "Someone could have stabbed the creature and it responded to the attack with one of it's own. However, that does not explain the hair around the hilt."

Kurenai opened her mouth to ask a question when a loud shriek interrupted her.

"What the..?" Tsunade muttered. As if responding to a silent command she and all the jounin vanished, heading in the direction that the scream had originated from.

-

-

"Stop it!" Mitsuki shouted, ducking behind a tree to avoid the giant club that raced towards her. She ducked as the club struck the tree, shattering the wood, an involuntary scream coming from her. Once bits of wood had stopped flying everywhere, she was back on her feet running from her horned pursuer.

"Stop?" a deep voice asked from her left. She screamed again as the creature attempted to grab her, his claws barely missing her arm.

A second oni carrying a thick rope attempted to trip her as she ran past him. "But we having so much fun!"

The club welding oni from before suddenly appeared before her. Mitsuki fell to the ground, the club passing over her and destroying three more trees in the process. "You screams sound nice," it sighed watching her get up and run again.

"Leave me alone!" Mitsuki shouted, heading towards the thickest part of the forest she could see. Soon she couldn't see the oni anymore nor hear them pursuing her so she ducked behind a thick tree and climbed up, finding a spot in the crook of two branches were she could sit and be concealed. Trying to calm herself down she brought her knees to her chin, burying her face into the soft fabric of her tunic. This never would have happened if she had listened to Kakashi, she realized trembling. Why hadn't she listened to him? She didn't really remember, she had just been so angry. He had treated her like a child by not telling her what was going on and... and... There was something else, although she couldn't put her finger on what it was. There was another reason why she had been so angry... But what?

Her breathing was too harsh, she realized taking a deep breath and holding it. However the sound continued. _Oh no... _Slowly she opened her eyes and lifted her face from her knees.

The rope oni grinned at her all his black teeth revealed. The wind slowly blew across his face blowing his jet black hair across his blue skin. It really was quite surreal... The oni smiling at the girl in the tree... The wind blowing in the background...

"Boo," the oni said shattering the moment.

Mitsuki shrieked and tried to get away from the large blue hand that was reaching towards her. In her panic she forgot where exactly she was and fell out of the tree, landing with a painful crunch at the base of the tree. Groaning, she slowly sat up, clutching her arm.

"Aww... You broke it Reakk." a deep voice said above her.

She looked up, horrified to see the remaining two oni there. The club one directly in front of her and the one with claws on her left. Forgeting her pain she tried to scramble away, stopping when the rope oni jumped from the tree, laughing.

"Scared you!" Reakk crowed jumping up and down, clutching his rope. He smiled at the fearful look in Mitsuki's eyes as she backed away from him. "Aww... You right Wrokk. Little birdie broke her wing."

The club welding oni set down his club, letting it lean against his side as he studied Mitsuki closely. "She it Mekk?" he asked, scratching his bright red hair. Lice and other bugs leapt from between his black fingers and he grinned showing his ivory teeth. "If not I get to eat. Right? Right?"

"Can't eat 'er," Mekk said studying her carefully. Nodding, his thick white hair fluttering in the breeze, his red lips pulled back in what had to be a smile. "That's her. That's her. Tie her up Reakk."

Reakk hooted in joy grabbing a shrieking Mitsuki and wrapping his thick rope around her. "Lots of souls! Lots of souls!" he cheered, stuffing a dirty rag in Mitsuki's mouth. "We'll get lots of souls for this one, right Mekk?"

Mekk nodded, sharpening his claws on a nearby rock. "Yup. Big reward. Lots of souls."

Wrokk frowned, lifting his club. "No fair, no fair. You said I could eat first person we saw's soul. She first person."

"She not reward," Mekk said, studying his nails carefully. "Now shut up. Your fault too slow to catch souls."

"They shinigami and dead ninja spirit!"

"Shinigami taste good," Mekk sighed happily. "Shut up Wrokk."

"Ninja good too!" Reakk said happy to be able to annoy a team mate. "Feel real good in belly! Wrokk stupid 'cause he so slow! Only wreak place! No get ninja or shinigami!"

"Ssssssshh!" Mekk hissed, cutting off Wrokk's complaint. "You hear?"

The three oni froze looking about. Wrokk grinned widely. "You smell?"

Reakk grinned at the both of them, his attention on a nearby tree. "You see?"

Nodding, the three oni's grins widened. "Food!" they shouted each running towards their own target. Startled voices shouted as Mekk and Reakk dove for their intended targets, one voice soon becoming screams as one of Mekk's claws glanced the target's side. Reakk cursed as his target vanished out from under his fingertips. Wrokk grinned, destroying half a dozen trees with a swing of his club. Searching through the wreckage eagerly, he frowned when he found nothing. Where food?

"HAH!" Gai shouted, landing on Wrokk's neck, knocking the oni to the ground. Quickly he leaped away, ready for the beast's counterattack.

Wrokk growled as he got back to his feet, glaring at the funny looking man. "Food! That hurt, Food!" he growled, hoisting his club to his shoulder.

"Food?" Gai scoffed, glaring at the creature. "I, Maito Gai the green beast of Konoha, is not food!"

Wrokk looked puzzled. "Not food?" he asked scratching his head. Turning he bounded off in search of a new target that would be turn out to be food.

Gai blinked. His enemy had retreated? Well good! He was escaping a world of pain this way! Turning he raced towards Anko and Asuma who where battling a great red beast with sharp claws.

A few meters away Tsunade punched the blue demon away from her, sending him flying headfirst through four trees. So what if he was three times her size? She would still beat him into a pulp!

Shaking off the damage like it was nothing, Reakk stood, baring his teeth at the cruel woman who had hurt him. "Pretty lady should not hurt Reakk," he growled. "Pretty lady making Reakk mad. Be good food and make Reakk belly feel good."

Tsunade glared at him, Kurenai and Shikamaru's father appearing at her side. "Think not," she said smiling and raced towards the oni fist extended.

Mitsuki screamed through her gag, panicked. They were never going to defeat the oni that way, she thought, trying to break out of her bonds. They were just annoying them! As she struggled a ninja was cut down by Mekk's claws and another was crushed by Wrokk's giant club. Everyone froze as the two oni stopped fighting and grabbed the bodies of their defeated foe, pulling something blue out of them and devouring it hungerly. Using this distraction, Reakk managed to grab Tsunade, pulling the woman towards him and opening his mouth. Tsunade yelled something vulgar and kicked the oni in the crotch causing him to yelp and release her, only to attack her with more ferocity a moment later.

Mitsuki stopped struggling a moment and tried to catch her breath. The gag Reakk had tied around her head was suffocating her. She would give anything to taste fresh air again...

"Don't scream," a familiar voice said from behind her. "It's only me."

Mitsuki turned a bit to see Kakashi kneeling by her, both eyes visible, trying to cut through the thick rope with a kunai. Thank kami, she thought to herself as he fought with the rope. She would be able to tell him how to defeat the oni and...

"The bird!" Mekk shouted. Ignoring the four ninja attacking him and pointing to Mitsuki and Kakashi. "He's freeing the bird!"

Growling the three oni ignored the ninja surrounding and charged Kakashi, murderous intent obvious in their eyes. Kakashi cursed and finished cutting through the rope, ripping it off Mitsuki and shoving her away. "Run!" he shouted, gather chakra in his hands for an attack.

Mitsuki ripped the gag from her mouth. "Kakashi-san!" she shouted, trying to tell him what to do.

"Run!" Kakashi shouted again, the chakra in his hand making a strange chirping noise. "You're in the way!"

"But Kakashi-san you have to..." she shrieked as arms grabbed her up, forcefully pulling her away from Kakashi and the oni's attack. Roaring in anger Mekk turned from his path and headed towards Mitsuki as Reakk and Wrokk continued towards Kakashi. Mitsuki looked up into her saviors face then punched his chin, forcing Gai to drop her. "Kakashi-san!" she screamed, trying to get away from Gai as he grabbed her again.

"He's fine Mitsuki!" Gai shouted, trying to get ahold of the fighting, biting girl. "He's got them. Now let's go!"

"He's not aiming right!" Mitsuki shouted, kicking Gai in the face. She screamed as Mekk reached them, Gai pulling her away from being captured again at the last moment and replacing her with a log.

Tsunade appeared and round house kicked the oni into the air before she grabbed Mitsuki by the front of the tunic. "What do you mean 'not aiming right!?'" she bellowed.

Kakashi's hand shot forward, aiming true at the Wrokk's heart. He would only be able to get the one creature, but maybe if he took that one down then... His hand seemed to hit hard steel and Kakashi's hand stopped moving. Eyes wide, Kakashi stared. His attack had barely broken skin, only a thin trickle of blood where there should have been a gaping wound. Everything stopped for a moment and Wrokk growled, raising his club. "Stupid bug!" he growled, bringing his club up and around. It struck Kakashi on the side and the silver haired jounin flew into the air, hitting a tree and laying still.

From beside him, Reakk giggled. "Stupid bug," he agreed eyeing the remaining shocked jounin. "Eat him later," he said as some of the jounin began to retreat and regroup. "Gotta catch rest of food."

-

-

Tsunade dragged the girl an appropriate distance away and threw her up against a tree, ignoring her shuddering sobs. "What the hell are those things!?" she bellowed, her face inches away from Mitsuki's.

"Th-They're o-oni," Mitsuki said between sobs. "E-evil, b-bad oni..."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "That's nice. Now how are we supposed to defeat them!? None of my attacks have gotten them for longer then a moment, and Kakashi's chidori barely scratched them!"

At Kakashi's name Mitsuki's began sobbing harder, ignoring the tightening of Tsunade's hand around her clothes. "Y-you h-have to a-aim," she sobbed, tears freely running down her cheeks, "f-for their e-eyes. A-and the b-back of t-their head."

Tsunade nodded, releasing the girl and letting her fall to her knees. Turning to the small group of ninja surrounding her she smiled warily. "Hear that? Pass it on to the others. Aim for the back of the head and the eyes!" she ordered. "Now go get those things and drive them from Konoha forever!"

"NO!" Mitsuki shouted, grabbing onto Tsunade's jacket. "You have to kill them!" she said, a strange sort of fear in her eyes. "They eat souls! If you don't kill them the souls of all the people who they've eaten will never be free!"

Tsunade stood there for a second before nodding. "Spread the news! Make sure everyone know where the vital areas are and that they're not allowed to escape alive!" Nodding the jounin vanished to tell their hidden comrades the news. Taking a moment, Tsunade gently pried Mitsuki's fingers from her jacket before patting the girl on the head. "Get her out of here Gai," she ordered, vanishing.

Gai nodded, reaching down to grab Mitsuki's arm. "Come on."

Mitsuki shook her head, no longer crying. "This is all my fault," she said quietly, staring into space. "I should have listened to Kakashi-san and stayed in the apartment." Eyes silently leaking tears she looked up at Gai. "Kakashi-san is dead because of me isn't he?"

Gai frowned listening carefully as the sound of battles resumed. "Kakashi is a ninja. He doesn't fear death."

Mitsuki shook her head softly. "It doesn't matter if he feared death," she muttered softly. "He's dead..."

Reaching down, Gai scooped the girl up in his arms. "I'll bring you to the hospital," he said turning to go.

"No," Mitsuki whispered, leaning her head against Gai's chest. "I need to see Kakashi..."

-

-

Tsunade kicked Mekk in the back of the head causing the oni to shout out in pain and collapse. Instantly, three ninjas were over him working together to severe his head from his body. Tsunade looked away from the grisly work and ran towards the next oni, the blinded Wrokk who (in his pain) was destroying anything and everything his club could reach. Timing the gap between swings carefully Asuma raced forward plunging a kunai in the back of the oni's head felling him instantly.

A small distance away Reakk was looking at the ninja surrounding him, clearly worried. Both of his comrades were dead, and while Reakk wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed he knew that wasn't good. So far he'd been able to avoid the ninja's attacks and protect his eyes, but with so many aiming for his vital areas one of them would hit him eventually. His only hope was escape, he realized finally.

Leaping into the air, Reakk managed to clear three rows of ninja before hearing a shout directly behind him. There was only a moment of pain for the oni before his spine was severed, the weapon driving straight into his brain. He stood only a moment longer before collapsing, a light blue mist rising from his body.

Hatake Kakashi slowly pulled his arm from the confines of the oni's body feeling only pain as he did so. Damn it. That had _hurt. _However, as the oni had raced away he had been closest to the creature and his chidori had been perfect for the job when it was aimed for the right spot. His body wracked with pain he collapsed a step away from the oni. Maybe he should have just stayed where he was... Breathing heavily, the pained jounin inspected the blue mist rising from the oni's corpse. What was that?

Kitaro (a jounin that Kakashi had seen eaten by the oni earlier in the battle) smiled at Kakashi for a moment before fading away, quickly followed by a swarm of people who he didn't recognize. All of them smiled or waved at him, silently thanking him for releasing them. A teenage boy gave him the thumbs up while two little girls gently peeked him on the cheek. An old grandmother embraced him, tears streaming down her cheeks and a man took his hand shaking it firmly. _This can't be happening,_ Kakashi thought to himself, amazed. However, he could guess from the sound of awe the other jounin were making that the same thing was happening at each of the oni's corpses.

Finally the soul of a toddler came out and grinned shyly at him before vanishing away. Still puzzled over what had occurred, Kakashi struggled to rise before noticing one last soul emerging from the oni's body. A familiar face grinned at Kakashi, idiotic goggles still on his forehead as he waved. Kakashi stared and almost stopped breathing as his best friend emerged from the oni, shaking himself off and smiling.

"Obito..."

Obito looked down at him, smiling widely. "Kakashi... It's been a while hasn't it?"

"Un," Kakashi said swallowing heavily. "Obito, I-"

"You're sorry," Obito sighed rolling his eyes. "I know, I know. You've only been saying it every day since I died." He grinned again at his friend. "I know you feel guilty, but it's not your fault. I don't blame you, Kashi."

"Then why haven't you moved on?"

Obito grinned leaning over so his face was inches from Kakashi's. "'Cause you never moved on, baka na Kashi. I couldn't just leave you when you were all angst after all." He poked Kakashi on the nose, grinning. "So get over it."

Kakashi blinked. "You didn't go into the next world just because you had to tell me that?"

"Yup."

Kakshi smiled and sighed. Same old stupid Obito...

"Kakashi-san! Nii-chan!" a female voice shouted. They both turned to see Mitsuki racing towards them, a sheepish looking Gai apologizing to Tsunade.

"So that's where she is," Obito mused out loud. "I was beginning to think she was dead."

"She's staying with me," Kakashi said, turning back to his friend. "So you're Nii-chan, huh?"

Obito grinned at him. "That I am, you old dog. No wonder she never showed up, she picked up her punctuality from you!"

"I suppose..." Kakashi said smiling weakly.

Obito laughed then stopped, a thoughtful look on his face. "You know, I've never seen you without your mask..."

"Would... you like to?" Kakashi offered slowly. He never liked showing his face to anyone, but if Obito wanted it...

"Nah," Obito scoffed, smirking. "I'll go to heaven and tell Rin that it's true that you have fish lips," he said smiling. "She always thought you might..."

Kakashi smiled softly.

Obito sighed, starting to appear a bit more faint. "Kakashi..." he said softly, looking at his friend with pleading eyes.

Kakashi nodded, watching his friend slowly fade away. "Hai, Bito-kun."

Obito smiled widely. "Until later, Kashi-kun," he said slowly fading out of the world and passing into the next.

Kakashi smiled sadly. His friend really was gone again, he realized slowly. Strange, somehow Obito's second death hurt more then the first had...

"Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki cried, now close enough to touch the man. "You're okay!" she cried grabbing onto his arm and holding it tight. "De-demo... Obito-kun..."

Kakashi smiled at her, both of his eyes curving. "It's alright, Mitsuki-chan," he said feeling his heart slowly break apart. "He's gone to heaven."

Mitsuki nodded, the concern not leaving her eyes. "Hai," she said looking away. Suddenly smiling, she looked back at Kakashi pure joy filling her eyes. "Don't worry, he'll wait for you there."

Kakashi simply nodded. Mitsuki reached out for him and helped him lay down, his head on her lap. Closing his eyes, Kakashi sighed once before drifting off to sleep.

"See what did I tell you, Mitsuki-chan," Gai said, appearing behind them. "He's alive isn't he?"

"Depends on what you call alive," Mitsuki said frowning and stoking his hair. "He's all broken up inside..."

-

-

-

-

-

Alright... I'm tired so I'll make it quick The Shinigami was mostly based off of Bleach, a really good manga. The oni were edited in a way that suited my purpose. (Hey, oni are the most well known monster in Japanese folklore. Everyone changes them to meet their needs so why can't I?)

Yes, the shinigami's name ended up being Fukai Mori. I was bored and decided it might be funny to name him after my favorite anime song. Yes, the dead ninja that Kakashi saw the soul of was Kitaro. I got tired when I was writing this and the first thing that popped into my head was the Japanese new age singer. Buy a cd or two if you ever get the change. It's really good. One of his albums (I can't remember which... my favorite song on it is called Matsuri though) is the creation myth set to music. Good stuff Kitaro is...

If anyone has any other questions or concerns please review or e-mail me. I never check my e-mail, but you can rest assured that your e-mail will be deleted with the rest of my important mail when I actually do check it. And now since I have nothing better to add: Reviews!

Inuyasha-gal-97: It's not really tight so much as on guard, retreat, parry four, repost, miss, crossover retreat, beat attack lunge, miss, disengage, fail, parry one (Instructor: "I thought I told you not to use parry one, Jade." Me: "But it looks cooler."), lunge, and hit (Partner: "That's not on target." Me: "Depends on what you think of as target." Instructor: "Okay, you're only allowed to fence girls now.") Also, you know what I just realized? You've already reviewed four times. Domo arigato gozaimashita.

Dragon Man 180: Yup, I love folklore and mythology. If it paid, I would be majoring in it. I don't really think that Mitsuki's going to react much at all to Naruto, she'll probably think it's perfectly normal... Then again my characters do have a way of running away from me, so she may react differently then expected.

Kodomo: I don't mind random babbles. The only thing that really annoys me are pop-ups and why all my stupid programs designed to block them don't. I'd give you a cookie, but my friends just ate them all and the dorm ones really suck. Here's an idea though, if you ever have a couple hours free, a Go board, and M&Ms (or Reese's Pieces) play a game of Go with them, then eat all the candy after.

MoonSeaEarth: I really like your name. It reminds me of full moons and the Northern Lights by the lake... I like that...

And now I'm going to bed...


	7. Chicken Soup for the Ninja Soul

Okay. Mitsuki is not a miko or a shinigami. Any more guesses? The title of Master is still not won...

Chapter 6: Chicken Soup for the Ninja Soul

Kakashi turned his head to stare at the ceiling, counting the 73 cracks in it carefully. He was board. Hell, he was going stir crazy being locked up in here. Tsunade had forbidden him from reading any of his books in his room and after three hours of daytime talk shows, Kakashi had sworn to never turn a Tv on again. Worst of all, his escape attempt had been foiled by Tsunade electrifying the window ledge. The shock of powerful electricity had burned his hands badly causing his stay at the hospital to be extended by another week. The sadistic smile Tsunade had been wearing when she'd informed of him of this had really been quite scary, Kakashi remembered. He decided to count the 142 leaves on the tree outside his window again.

There had to be something interesting to do...

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto shouted, violently opening the door to his hospital room, a happy look on the blond's face. Sasuke and Sakura silently stood behind him, Sakura holding a small vase with a mini-sunflower in it.

Kakashi mentally sighed. His students wasn't exactly what he'd been thinking of when he'd wanted something interesting. He actually had been looking for the newest volume of _Make-Out Violence_, right off the shelf... "Ohiyo!" he said smiling brightly at his students. "Been having fun?"

Naruto nodded while Sasuke and Sakura shook their heads vehemently. "We've been training with Gai!" Naruto said, sounding excited.

"Get well soon, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, setting the flower down on Kakashi's beside table. "Please, please, get well soon."

Sasuke nodded in agreement, an earnest look in his eyes.

Kakashi continued to smile. Gai, huh? Tsunade really was a sadist at heart. "So what has Gai been teaching you?" he asked, deciding that small talk was (for once) better then being left to do nothing.

"Taijutsu!" Naruto said smiling. "Gai taught us how to walk on coals and do all these cool kicks and use our weapons better and..."

"That's enough, Naruto," Sakura growled, worried that Kakashi might get the wrong idea. "Gai-sensei really hasn't been around all that much," she told Kakashi, smiling pleasantly. "Whenever we see him, he seems to be looking for something and usually just tells us what to do before rushing off."

Kakashi nodded, wondering what it was that Gai was looking for. Actually, that reminded him, he should start finding out what had happened to Mitsuki after the battle. He hadn't seen her since he'd fallen asleep and she was his responsibility after all...

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, when are you going to be released?" Sakura asked, a hopeful look in her eyes. She silently prayed that he would be out sooner rather then later. Whenever Gai had been around he'd paired her with Ten-Ten and well... Ten-Ten scared the crap out of her. The girl was incredibly violent and bloodthirsty, and whenever they fought she ended up going for the kill, trying to hit Sakura with a dagger or a scythe.

"In two weeks, maybe more," Kakashi said, giving Sakura an apologetic look. "Tsunade says that I've broken all but one of my ribs and that I have to stay still long enough for them to heal."

Naruto winced. That sounded painful. "So you're alright, Kaka-sensei?"

"Hai, daijoubu," Kakashi said smiling. "I'm so doped up on painkillers that I can't feel anything."

Sakura and Sasuke sweatdropped as Naruto gave him a blank look. "Huh?"

Sakura sighed and started to herd Naruto out of the room. "Well, get well soon Kakashi-sensei," she said smiling. Sasuke gave his teacher a nod and walked out of the room, silently shutting the door behind him.

Resting back against his bed, Kakashi sighed a little, wincing at the pain in his chest. Really, he'd been lucky, he thought to himself, studying the cracks in the ceiling again. Tsunade had told him that to take down those three oni, four of Konoha's best had been killed, and five had been badly injured (including him). His had been the worst though, she'd admitted, checking her chart. The others had just suffered one or two broken limbs or a bad scratch or nasty bite. He'd been the only one to nearly have his chest knocked in. Despite that, he'd been the only one who, after being injured, got back up and started fighting again...

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by it opening a crack. "Kakashi-san? Mitsuki said peeking her head through the opening she'd made.

"Ah, Mitsuki-chan, come in," Kakashi said, smiling at his guest. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Mitsuki said, sitting down in a chair, setting a bag on the ground beside her. "I'm just fine. But how have you been Kakashi-san?"

"Good, I suppose. Tsunade says I should be out in about two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Mitsuki gasped, looking concerned. "That's a long time... What happened to your hands, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi glanced down at the bandages and frowned. "Nothing really, just being foolish. So what brings you here?"

Mitsuki smiled, reaching down to grab the bag she had brought. "I've brought you lunch," she said happily, pulling out a tightly sealed container. "Gai-kun said that hospital food was disgusting so I decided to bring you good food instead."

Kakashi nodded, accepting the warm container. "What is it?" he asked fumbling a bit before carefully pulling the lid off.

"Chicken and rice soup," Mitsuki said looking through her bag for something. "I know I have a spoon in here somewhere," she muttered to herself, searching carefully.

"Oishi," Kakashi sighed handing the empty container back to Mitsuki. "Domo arigatou, Mitsuki-chan."

Mitsuki blinked. She hadn't even given him the spoon before he'd devoured the food. Maybe he wasn't eating it, and just absorbing it somehow? Putting the now empty container back into her bag, she smiled. Oh well, so long as he'd eaten it, that was fine. "So how to you do you feel now, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi looked at her, his single visible eye drooping. Swaying slightly, he looked puzzled for a moment before falling back onto the bed, unconscious.

"That's good," she said nodding. Standing, Mitsuki picked up her bag and left the room, turning off the light and shutting the door behind her.

-

-

"....god damn... shi! ....ke up already!" There was a pause. "Well, in that case I'll just have to see what's under your mask..." Kakashi sat bolt upright in bed, causing Tsunade to pout a little. "Figures that would wake you up," she muttered, sighing.

Kakashi looked up at her, trying to clear the cobwebs from his mind. "What happened?" he asked groggily.

"You've been sleeping for almost 24 hours," Tsunade said dryly. "It's time to change your bandages."

"24 hours?" Wow, if that was true, he'd have to sleep that much all the time... He felt great. Stretching, Kakashi held out his hands for Tsunade to deal with, studying her carefully. Maybe if she was in a good mood today he could convince her to let him have his books?

As if reading his mind, Tsunade shook her head firmly. "No. No books until your hands heal," she said grinning slightly.

Kakashi looked at her grin and decided not to mention that it was her fault that his hands had been burned so badly. Damn Hokage setting up such horrible traps to keep her patients where they could be healed and looked after. "But what about after my hands are healed?" he suggested hopefully.

Tsunade sighed although inwardly she was amused by Kakashi's obsession with Jiraiya's works. Maybe she should read them one day to see what the big fuss was about? ......or not. "I'll think about it once your hands are..." she trailed off, the first bandage off. _... the hell?_ "Give me your other hand," she ordered, dropping the first to the bed.

Kakashi nodded absently, holding up his other hand. Quickly, Tsunade unwrapped this one only to find that it was in the same state as the first. Both were perfectly fine, the burns healed without any scarring. _There should have been some scarring, _Tsunade thought to herself. _What isn't there scarring?_

_I wonder what the matter is,_ Kakashi thought as Tsunade stared intently at his hands. _She wouldn't act like this if they were infected..._

"You're hands...." Tsunade said slowly. "Are fine..."

Kakashi blinked, and studied his hands closely. "Hmm... How about my reading material then?"

"Take off your shirt."

"Pardon?"

"Take it off Kakashi."

At the threatening tone in Tsunade's voice, Kakashi quickly unbuttoned the shirt of his hospital pajamas, letting Tsunade study his chest. She poked him a few times muttering under her breath. "Oi, Kakashi, does this hurt?" she asked poking the right side of his chest.

"No."

"What about here?"

"Nope."

"Here?"

"No?"

This continued for another minute or two, Tsunade getting more and more annoyed. Finally she snapped, holding back the desire to punch the jounin. "Get the hell out of here!" she shouted instead, throwing her hands up in disgust.

Kakashi blinked, surprised. "You said I couldn't leave for two weeks."

"Yeah, well that was before you healed in two days!" Tsunade growled, cursing inwardly.

Shrugging, Kakashi got out of bed, and grabbed the spare set of clothes that someone had brought him from home. He headed towards the bathroom to change only to be cut off by Tsunade who forcefully sat him down in a chair. "How the hell did you do it?" she demanded, sticking a finger in Kakashi's face.

"What?"

"No one can heal that quickly in two days. What jutsu did you use?" her face darkened scarily. "Tell. Me. Now."

Kakashi smiled at her weakly. "Sumimasen Tsunade-sama... Demo boku wa... wakarimasen..."1

Tsunade's eye twitched and she glared at him. "Then tell me everything that happened to you starting after when your wounds were bandaged."

"I tried to leave and the window was electrified."

"After that."

"You bandaged my hands and told me that you'd already set a worse trap on the window to prevent me from escaping again."

"After that too."

"I watched Tv."

"What shows?"

"Dr. Phil, Maury, and the Jenny Jones Show."

"...."

"The remote was broken."

"...Okay... What happened after that?"

"Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura came and visited me." He nodded over to the sunflower on the bedside table. "Sakura brought me that."

Tsunade instantly pounced on the sunflower, studying it intently. "Seems normal enough..." she finally said, feeling disappointed. "What next?"

"Mitsuki came."

_Bingo!_ Tsunade thought, happily. Who else had bizarre healing powers? Mitsuki of course! "What happened after Mitsuki came?"

"She brought me lunch, I ate it, and then... I must have fallen asleep. I can't remember anything after that."

Tsunade was instantly out of the door, intent on finding Mitsuki. She was going to find out the girl's healing secrets if it was the last thing she would do...

Kakashi blinked as Tsunade vanished. _Well, _he wondered silently, _maybe this'll make check out easier..._

-

-

"You're move, Kawamizu-kun,2" Mitsuki said, smiling at a thoughtful looking Kappa.

Kawamizu waved for her to be silent with a webbed hand, before moving one of his pieces, capturing her silver general and (turning the piece around) set it down in a new spot. Mitsuki looked at the board, pouting a little. At this rate her king was going to be captured soon and she'd loose this game of shogi...

"MITSUKI-CHAN!" Gai's voice shouted. "DOKO DE?"3

Mitsuki sighed, giving the kappa an apologetic look. "Sorry, Kawamiku-kun. He must have realized that I was gone."

Kawamizu snorted waving his hand in a dismissing gesture. Clearly, he was telling her to forget about him and just play the game. Smiling, Mitsuki nodded and decided to do just that.4

-

-

"What do you mean you lost track of her!?" Tsunade yelled at Gai, glaring at the taller man. "She's not a ninja! She doesn't know how to hide herself!"

Gai laughed weakly, trying not to appear cowed by Tsunade's anger. "Ano.. I was focusing on training so much that I must have forgotten about her..."

"Forgot about her!? Keeping track of that girl is an A-rank mission!" Tsunade bellowed, Gai shrinking another inch. Come to think of it, Kakashi hadn't done all that great of a job keeping track of the girl either, Tsunade realized suddenly. Leaving her free to get attacked by oni like that... "AM I SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!?" Turning to Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, Ten-Ten, and Neji she pointed to all of them and shouted: "Find her!"

Naruto slowly raised a hand. "Ano... Tsunade-baba... You mean the kappa-lady, right?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes while everyone else looked at Naruto confused. Kappa? What was that? "Yes, Naruto-kun," she sighed. "She's the one who identified the kappa."

The blond boy instantly brightened. "I know where she is then!"

"What!? Where?"

"Kappa-lady headed toward the Kappa pond two hours ago!"

Tsunade grinned. "Great! Now which pond is that?"

-

-

Sighing in relief, Mitsuki captured the tokin that had been wreaking havoc on her pieces. So what if now it was captured it was only a pawn now? At least it wasn't Kawamizu's tokin anymore... Looking carefully at the board she considered where she should set it down. It may be only a pawn, but any piece could be helpful in defending her king...

"Mitsuki! I need to talk to you!" Tsunade yelled, bursting out of the tree line and screeching to a halt, inches from the board. "What are you doing?"

"Playing shoji," Mitsuki said as the kappa gave the woman a 'well, duh!' look.

"Shoji?" Naruto asked, looking around Tsunade. "What's that?"

The kappa looked at the boy like he was a blasphemer, shaking his head sadly. 'Kids these days,' he seemed to say. "I'll explain later," Mitsuki said turning back to the board.

"Yeah," Tsunade agreed sternly. "She has to explain something to me first!"

Flustered, Mitsuki looked at Tsunade puzzled. "What?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes, giving the kappa a weary look. That thing didn't look all that dangerous... How had it managed to defeat a chunin then? "Just hurry up and finish the game," Tsunade snapped, tapping her foot.

Suddenly nervous, Mitsuki set down her pawn, realizing her mistake only after she had released her piece. "Oh!" she gasped.

Kawamizu leaped to is feet pointing an accusing finger at the board. "NIFU!!!" he shouted glaring at Mitsuki.

Mitsuki bowed lowly. "Gomen nasai, Kawamizu-kun," she said apologetically. "I really didn't mean to place my pawn in the same file as the other..."5

Kawamizu shrugged, picking up the pieces and placing them in a bag. "Not a problem," he said handing both the bag and the board to the girl. "Come by and play anytime. Maybe I'll let you win next time..."

Naruto and Tsunade stared. It could talk?

Mitsuki looked down at the bag and board in shock. "Are these... for me?"

"Hai," the kappa said nodding. "It's hard to keep them dry underwater," he explained, walking back into his pond. "Besides, this way you can practice at home."

Bowing, Mitsuki repeatedly thanked him until Kawamizu vanished under the water. Grinning widely, she clutched the board to her chest and turned to the still shocked Tsunade. "You needed me, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade blinked and put the talking reptile out of mind. "Yes, Mitsuki-chan I need to talk about the soup you made Kakashi."

"Why?" Mitsuki asked, looking concerned. "Doesn't he feel better?"

Tsunade shook her head. "That's not it, he's perfectly fine. All his injuries are gone. All of them!"

"Does that mean Kaka-sensei's going to be training us again?" Naruto asked.

Tsunade glanced down at him. She'd forgotten he was there for a second... "Go back to Gai, Naruto."

"But-"

"Now."

"Fine..."

Tsunade waited until she felt the boy's chakra grow fainter before turning back to Mitsuki. "Well? What was in it?"

Mitsuki looked thoughtful, thinking carefully. "Carrots, celery, a little onion, salt, pepper, garlic, some bay leaves, rice and..." she hesitated, not able to remember the last ingredient. "Chicken!"

Tsunade hung her head, sighing. "You sure that's it? You didn't add anything else?" If she hadn't added anything, that meant the girl's presence could have speeded up Kakashi's recovery, making the secret of 'why' harder to determine.

Mitsuki thought for another long moment. "Yes!" she said snapping her fingers. "I remember. I was talking to Kawamizu-kun about it, just after the oni attack (_So that's where she was, _Tsunade thought.) and he suggested I make soup! He gave me the recipe and the secret ingredient!"

_Bingo. _"What's the secret ingredient?" Tsunade asked eagerly, leaning forward a bit.

Mitsuki shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that Kawamizu-kun told me that it would put Kakashi-san to sleep and make him feel better."

"Kawamizu-san... He's the kappa, right?" Tsunade asked, looking at the water. "Can you get him up here?"

Mitsuki turned to the pond. "I'll see if he wants to talk," she said kneeling down. "Kawamizu-kun! Tsunade-sama wants to talk to you. Can you spare a moment?"

Slowly the kappa rose in the middle of the pond, only his strange water filled head, his eyes, and his beak-like mouth visible. "Wadda want?" he asked, looking suspicious. Humans hadn't wanted anything to do with him before. Why did one want to talk to him now?

Tsunade smiled at the creature. "I wanted to know what you gave Mitsuki-chan to put in that soup she made. It worked miracles, and I wanted to know if there was any way I could get a steady supply of it."

Kawamizu eyed her carefully debating if he should tell her the truth or not. _Why not? _he thought. "It was water out of my head," he said and sank back into the pond.

Tsunade blinked as Mitsuki seemed to reach an epiphany. "Of course!" she said. "Kappa are said to have a life-sustaining elixir contained in the crater of their head. That must have been what he gave me."

Tsunade frowned. That was kinda... gross. "Any way he'd give us more?" she asked turning back towards the village.

Mitsuki followed her, still holding the precious shoji board tightly to her. "Only in emergencies maybe," she said smiling. "Kawamizu-kun will be weakened whenever he loses some of his elixir."

Tsunde smiled a little and, reaching up a little, ruffled Mitsuki's hair. "You going to tell that you gave Kakashi kappa-brain to eat?"

Mitsuki looked horrified. "It's not kappa-brain!" she protested. "It's elixir!"

"From his head..."

"True," she looked concerned, following Tsunade through the main gates of town. "Perhaps he won't ask?"

Tsunade laughed. "Come one, let's see if Kakashi managed to escape from the hospital yet..."

-

-

(Meanwhile...)

Kakashi sighed. He hadn't thought that there was anything worse then being trapped in a hospital room watching daytime Tv. He had been so wrong...

Seemingly hundreds of screaming, crying, whiny kids were climbing all over him demanding attention and entertainment as Kaede smiled at him happily. She had been so pleased when she'd found the clown walking down the hall. She had thought he had said that he was never going to come back to this insanity as long as he lived. That horrible man... Refusing to like children simply because one of the more playful tots had set his wig on fire... However, now that he was back all ill thoughts were forgotten as the children ran around the tall man, laughing happily. This was heaven...

This was hell. Kakashi realized this as he had to snatch away his kunai from a small child, the child screaming the instant it's toy was taken away. How had this happened again? Oh yeah... the nurse with the grip of iron... Safely tucking all his sharp weapons away (and not noticing that his summoning scrolls had been taken) he waded through the sea of children to a small, much abused puppet theater. Picking up a cutesy English Knight puppet he studied it carefully before reaching a decision. "Who wants puppet time?" he asked cheerfully. The children about him cheered loudly, nearly breaking his ear drums.

Smiling, Kakashi shadow cloned himself, each clone picking up a separate puppet and going behind the theater to put on the show. As the children cheered over the magic trick, Kakashi grinned once more and began (with the aid of his clones) to do his rendition of the 'Brave Sir Robin.'6 The children waited as the clones opened their mouths then vanished into smoke, Kakashi succeeding in his mission to race out the back exit.

The children raved about the magic show for weeks. Especially since never before had there even _been_ a back exit...

-

-

"Kakashi-san? Are you here?" a voice called from the front entrance.

"Living room," Kakashi called from the couch, not even bothering to look up from his book. (The newest volume of _Make-Out Violence_, bought today as he had walked home.) How he had missed his manga... He was never going to abandon his precious books again... A shadow fell over his page and Kakashi looked up, seeing a beaming Mitsuki holding out an envelope towards him. "What's this?" he asked, dog-earing his page and accepting the envelope.

"Tsunade-sama gave it to me," Mitsuki said giggling slightly.

Kakashi looked at the envelope wearily and opened it. To his great surprise it was full of money. "Hmm... What's this for?" he asked, looking up.

Mitsuki giggled again, pure mirth in her eyes. Leaning over, she patted Kakashi on his spiky hair and grinned. "For making the kiddies happy, silly," she laughed. "Tsunade said you could have made the show longer, but you kept them entertained so you got a reward!" She smiled at the blank way he was staring at the money. "I'll start dinner."

_Damn,_ Kakashi thought. _Entertainers make this much for that crap? _"No need," he said, rising. "Let's go out."

"Demo..."

"Out. I need to buy some stuff anyway," he said, carefully tucking the money away into a pocket.

Mitsuki shrugged, but nodded, going to fetch an old coat Tsunade had given her for the evenings. As Kakashi waited for her to reappear, he mused the money in his pocket, smiling slightly. An entire month's salary for less then ten minutes work? He knew that Tsunade would kill him if he spent it all on books. Good thing Jiraiya wasn't due for a new volume for another week or two... Still smiling he tucked his manga in a pocket before realizing something. "Where's my scrolls?"

-

-

-

-

-

1: Sorry Tsunade-sama... But I....don't know...

2: Yes, the Kappa's name is River Water. I was uninspired... Blame calc.

3: Literal: Where? (When actually said in Japanese in relation to a person it's more like 'Where are you?')

4: Shoji Part 1: It's the Japanese version of chess. See below for full details, but all you really have to know to explain this passage is that the silver general is one of the pieces in shoji and that when your opponent captures your piece, they can pick it up, turn the piece around (rotate it 180), and use it as their own.

5: Shoji Part 2: Like Western Chess, pieces can be powered up once they reach the other side of the board. However, while only pawns can turn into kings in WC, in shoji any piece can become super charged (except kings I think...) What a tokin is, is a supercharged pawn, one that can wreck havoc easily because when charged it can move in practically every direction. However, when it's captured the charge is lost and it becomes an ordinary pawn once more. What happened, when Mitsuki captured the tokin is this: it became a pawn again and she looked for a place to set it down as one of her own pieces. However, she was interrupted and set it down in a file that another pawn was in (basically the same row). This is considered a losing move in shoji, sort of like cheating. When it happens, your opponent is supposed to say "Nifu" which sort of means "you lost." Or as I like to think; "Hah! You lost the game bi-yatch! Kiss my $$!" Hey, we all know that the Japanese are secretly thinking it on the inside...

6: What? Brave Sir Robin ran away. It fits!

Shoji Part 3: Want to know the rest of the rules of shoji? Well I'm too lazy to tell you. Instead, I'll instead suggest the site Basic Rules of Shoji by Sam Sloan, a 2-dan. (That means he's really good. Not a uber l337 master, but still good.)

The web site address is: www ishipress com/shoji htm   (Replace the spaces with periods. I had to leave those off so that FFnet wouldn't delete the text.) Or Google search Basic Rules Shoji.

It's a good site and the song that plays in the background is the traditional tune 'Sakura!' Always a good sign!

I'll do it once more... Reviews!

Dragon Man 180: Well, the kappa turned out to be helpful in this chapter... Kitsunes are in the next one, I promise. I'm still debating about Tanuki though... I haven't been able to find any really good myths on them. All them seem to do is stand around with a sake bottle, airing their balls...

Vanilla Yumez: Well, technically you reviewed Chap 3 but... No, she's not a shinigami. Although Chapter 5 (6 by 's count) really did give a pretty good hint. (Hint: The oni's called her a bird.)

Lady Light: (cries) I know... I miss Obito already... I just could keep he and Kakashi apart anymore and he had to move on once he finished his unfinished business of making Kakashi move on. (Reads last sentence slowly) I think I made sense... Anywhoo, he's gone, end of that little sidetrack.

sna: Fuzzy logic at it's best... Really glad you liked that bit, it actually was my favorite line of the chapter...

YES! I'M DONE AND IT'S NOT 2 IN THE MORNING!!!

I've only got an chem exam tomorrow that I haven't studied for... Shit...

JaDErUst


	8. Survival Training

Why did this chapter take me so long to write when it's so crappy? I blame school, Satan, and term papers which are, incidentally, the same thing...

Dragon Man 180 is in the lead for figuring out what Mitsuki is. He's almost got it, but not quite. Hurry up and beat him before he gets the title of 'Master!'

_This chapter is dedicated to all those that don't know what the Karma Sutra is. Stay that way for the sake of the world's innocence._

Chapter 7: Survival Training, Pt 1

He loved the way they looked at him just before they died. Their eyes wide in surprise, the almost pleading looks on their faces... They had meant the world to him moments before, and now he was killing them? How... unfair...

Fair? The golden man knew nothing of this. All he knew was the unjustifiable unfairness of the world. How anything warm and wonderful was always torn away leaving one cold and empty. He knew what unfairness was like, had known ever since he had been thrown away and sent to live in this forsaken place. It was no wonder he had taken to women and death. They were the only things that brought him near to what he remembered of the warmth... the light... the _peace_...

"You done?"

The low female voice broke his thought, causing him to gaze down at the beauty he had been strangling for the last hour. Kissing the dead girl softly on the lips he nodded, pulling on a robe and leaving the room. She was instantly by his side nodding at a servant to take care of the body. Silently, she followed him out to the koi pond and watched him throw bread to the fish in the water.

"How have I been failed?" the golden man finally asked, looking up at her, his eyes piercing. He knew he had been failed by the simple fact that the girl hadn't been brought to him. She wasn't screaming at his feet for mercy, bleeding from the thousand wounds he would give her. "Well?"

"I dispatched three oni to capture her. They were unsuccessful."

The golden man frowned. "I did not feel her power. How did she escape?"

"She was saved... A village of shinobi seems to have taken her in."

"Do they know what she is?"

"Doubtful. If they did they would have dismissed her from the village. You know how distrustful humans are."

The golden man nodded, his yellow hair blowing gracefully in the breeze. "Unless they wanted it for themselves... Tell the lord that the girl defeated the oni using her own power and escaped undetected."

"Sir?"

"You honestly didn't expect me to share, did you Beloved?"

The woman smiled slightly and bowed, brown hair fluttering in the breeze. "I will bring any further updates solely to you," she swore turning to go.

"Beloved," the golden man called after her, smiling ever so disarmingly. "I will wait for you to join me tonight."

The woman shook her head. "Wait all night then... I value my life."

The golden man smiled, watching her leave. Sighing heavily he turned back to the fish in the pond, thinking of how his Beloved and the girl would scream when he had no further use for them.

-

-

Kakashi dropped his pack to the ground after surveying the clearing. "We set up camp here," he said turning to his team and grinning at them. "I'd recommend building your shelters first, then searching for food."

"Hai," all three genin sighed (Well, Naruto shouted it) before disappearing into the surrounding forest.

Sighing, Kakashi carefully unpacked his bag, organizing his gear. When doing survival training, one had to keep careful track of one's tools. Who knew when one could tell the difference between life and freezing to death? Picking up a small hatchet turned and noticed the third wheel of the mission, Mitsuki, standing at the edge of the clearing, carefully studying a huge tree. He mentally sighed. Tsunade had insisted the girl come along, muttering something dark about her speculations and refusing to make eye contact. Kakashi assumed this had meant that the blond woman had found something out, but her refusal to share silently worried him. So instead of focusing on his team like he should, he'd be babysitting the girl, making sure she was warm, well-fed, all the things that his team would be striving to get for themselves.

"Mitsuki-chan, do you need any help setting up your tent?" he asked, seeing her do nothing but stare at the tree.

Mitsuki turned slowly, smiling weakly. "No, I've got it," she said softly, sitting down slowly.

Kakashi frowned, studying her pale face. She had been strangely silent the entire journey here, only speaking when she was asked a direct question. In fact, several times on the journey Kakashi had to double back and find the girl as she had been walking so slowly that she had been left behind. Each time he had found her, she had been resting beside worn rocks, eyes slightly glazed as she studied the area silently. However, every time he had asked her if something was wrong she had insisted it was nothing, blushing slightly and suddenly energetic, slowing down once she thought his attention was off her. He was actually a bit worried about her, training would last a week and if she wasn't feeling well her illness would only get worse in the cold night air.

"Well, if you need anything feel free to ask," he said after a moment.

Mitsuki nodded, still smiling. "Arigatou, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi smiled at her before leaving the camp in search of materials to build his shelter. He'd need to keep a close eye on the girl, something seemed to be wrong with her.

-

-

Alone in the camp, Mitsuki sighed and removed her backpack mentally planning what was to be done next. Kakashi had offered to help her with her tent, but the fact was she had left it back in Konoha along with the extra food and clothes Tsunade had insisted she bring along. She had almost left everything behind, the empty backpack itself feeling too heavy for her. Instead she had suffered through carrying a light sleeping bag, a small first aid kit, and an extra set of clothes, even that causing her to need to rest repeatedly on their journey through the forest.

The forest was part of the problem too. She had stopped at the stone structures for a reason, they had tugged at her memory like nothing had before, making her realize that they marked something important. But what? She couldn't remember, and even thinking about it made her feel tired. Sighing again, Mitsuki struggled to her feet feeling thirsty. She needed to find a river and somewhere to sleep before she could focus on anything else. Slowly walking out of the clearing, picked a direction and started walking, not aware of the playful eyes upon her.

-

-

"Ano... Naruto..." The shelter collapsed with a crash causing Kakashi to sigh and shake his head. "Nevermind," he muttered seeing Naruto freak out over his creation's demise. Giving his own shelter a final look over, he nodded, satisfied with it. While it wasn't a bed, or even a sleeping bag, he'd be kept dry and out of the wind. Looking around he noticed that Sakura and Sasuke were also done, their shelters looking fragile but good, impressive for their first try. He frowned, noticing that Mitsuki still wasn't back. Had she gotten lost?

"Has anyone seen Mitsuki lately?" he asked, packing away his leftover rope and hatchet.. "And don't use such heavy branches for the roof, Naruto," he added, pulling out _Make-Out Violence._

Naruto cursed as his shelter collapsed again. "Sakura-chan..." he whined turning to the pink haired girl.

"Iie," Sasuke said, looking annoyed if anything.

"No, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said as she walked over to help the blond boy. "Start with the thickest logs for the bottom," she ordered, refusing to actually touch the wet and slimy looking logs. Where had Naruto found his supplies anyway?

Kakashi frowned, sitting down at the base of a tree and opening his book. Really, Mitsuki didn't seem like the type to wonder off... but she hadn't been acting like herself lately, had she?

"Konni-chiwa!" a cheerful voice called. Smiling brightly, Mitsuki nearly bounced out of the bushes, grinning at everyone in the clearing. "It's me! Mitsuki!" She looked around the clearing, green eyes sparkling as she clasped her hands behind her back. "Ne, ne, what cha all doin'!?"

Mentally sighing in relief, Kakashi smiled up at the girl. She was back, and she seemed much more energetic, that was good. "Just waiting for my traps to go off."

Mitsuki pranced over to him, smiling at him slyly. "Traps? For food?" she asked sweetly, a curious look on her face. "But how do you know if you've caught anything Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi turned the page of his book. "You know you can call me Kakashi-kun, Mitsuki-chan."

Mitsuki laughed nervously, smiling widely. "Hai! Hai! I forgot!" she giggled. Kakashi blinked as she suddenly was at his side, flushing a bit as she pressed herself up against him. "So..." she said smiling softly and playing with the fabric of his sleeve. "How do you know if you've caught anything, _Kakashi-kun_?"

Kakashi stared at her. She was pressed tightly to his arm looking at him so intensely... And the way she'd said his name... He coughed, deciding not to look at her and realizing that his students were staring at him. Smiling he pointed up, laughing weakly. "I attached these strings to the ropes and put a bell at the end. When I catch something, they'll ring."

"Wai!" Mitsuki squealed, throwing her arms around Kakashi, his book going flying as she fell into his lap. She giggled as he stiffened, her face an inch away from his neck. "Kakashi-kun is so smart," she cooed, reaching up to touch his mask.

Kakashi laughed weakly again, his brain shutting down once Mitsuki cupped her hands around his face and kissed him slowly on the nose. It had been awhile since he'd had someone so close, hell, it had been practically forever since he'd allowed it. And his students were staring at them as if they were both mad... "Ano... Mitsuki-chan," he said gently nudging Mitsuki's hand away from his ear.

"Hai?" Mitsuki asked sweetly, curling up on him and leaning her head on his shoulder.

She smelled nice, Kakashi realized, his entire body uncomfortably warm. She smelled like the forest, woody, with the hint of fresh dirt. Grinning like a fool, Kakashi tried to pry her fingers from his shirt, blocking any and all images from his mind. She was an A-rank mission, nothing else! "What are you doing?"

Mitsuki smiled at him, a sultry look in her green eyes. "Nothing," she cooed.

Suddenly she was gone, his book shoved back in his hand as she ran across the clearing. Kakashi stayed where he was, frozen in shock. "Naruto-kun!" she called, smiling at the gaping boy. "What'cha doing?"

Naruto looked as if he was unsure wether to run or embrace her as she approached. Instead he inched away a wide-eyed look on his face. "Noth... err... wha?" he stammered, in shock over how the nice lady who made him lunches had been all over Kakashi-sensei.

Mitsuki giggled, studying Naruto closely. "You're so funny, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto laughed weakly, smiling widely. "Ano... Thanks... I guess."

Mitsuki giggled again, leaning over to brush the back of her hand against his forehead protector (giving him a good view straight down her shirt in the process). "You know," she cooed, smiling brightly at him. "I've never really looked at the head protector of Konoha... It makes you look soooo handsome..."

Naruto opened and closed his mouth several times trying to form a reply, his mind completely blank. "Ah... You.... I...."

"Are you feeling alright, Mitsuki-chan?" Sakura asked, looking at the older woman, concerned. She sure was acting weird... Hitting on Kakashi-sensei and then Naruto... She could sort of understand Kakashi-sensei since they were both old, but Naruto? Talk about weird!

Her attention now on the pink haired girl, Mitsuki smiled before enveloping her in a hug. "Awww, Sakura-chan, you're soooooo sweet!" she said, her hand resting on Sakura's hip bag. Releasing her she smiled coyly at her. "I'll teach you how, later," she whispered, winking at her younger girl.

Turning to the last member of the small group she smiled at Sasuke, her hands clutched behind her back. "Aww... Poor guy... Feel left out?" she asked sweetly, seeing the glare Sasuke was giving everyone.

"No," Sasuke deadpanned, folding his arms over his chest. Something was wrong with Mitsuki. Even if she was wasn't so fuzzy looking in his eyes, he knew something was up solely by the way she was acting. While she'd only been around for a few of their training sessions, Sasuke knew she had never been anything but friendly to Kakashi and she'd treated him and Naruto like little brothers. But now seducing them all in the forest? At the same time? Something was weird.

Mitsuki pouted, approaching Sasuke slowly. "Aww... Don't you like me..." she faltered, her face going blank as she tried to remember something. Suddenly looking nervous, she threw her arms around Kakashi again, running one finger along his vest. "Miss me?" she cooed, seemingly forgetting all about Sasuke although she glanced at him often out of the corner of her eye.

"N-no," Kakashi stammered, his face slowly turning red as Mitsuki leaned closer and closer to him, her face steadily getting nearer to his own. His brain shut down as he realized she was going to kiss him again, this time on the lips, although his mask was still on. Why was she...

"I'm back," a second Mitsuki said, smiling weakly as she entered the clearing. "Sorry, I met a..." she trailed off never getting to finish her story of the shoji game with the kappa of the river she had met and how she'd learned some very interesting information from him. Instead, she stared at the frozen clearing. A shell-shocked Naruto, a curious looking Sakura, Sasuke glaring at... herself, her own arms wrapped around Kakashi who was looking rather red underneath his mask. She blinked twice, staring at herself.

Naruto was the first to break the silence. "_There's TWO of them!_" he shouted one hand pointing at the each of them.

Leaping up and away the first Mitsuki smiled brightly at everyone. "Bye-bye!" she said and vanished away in a puff of smoke and leaves.

The second Mitsuki stared at them all confusion written in her grey eyes. "What's going on?" she asked blushing slightly.

Kakashi coughed, holding his book in a death grip as he tried to compose his thoughts. _Mitsuki almost kissed me! _But Mitsuki was standing across the clearing, looking at them like they were all mad. _She almost kissed me!_ But that Mitsuki had vanished in a puff of smoke. Kakashi coughed again, covering his mouth with his hand. "Actually-" Poof!

The rest of that sentence was lost to time as Kakashi's mask vanished in a puff of smoke, the jounin clamping his hand over his face in surprise. What had happened!?

Poof! Poof! Poof! In a flash his book turned into leaves, Naruto's forehead protector became a daisy chain, and Sakura's hip bag had became a dead squirrel tied onto her with a string. "What the!?" Naruto shouted, pulling the daisy chain off his head while Sakura shrieked, ripping the dead squirrel away from her and tossing it into the woods. "Where's my forehead protector!?"

"My bag!" Sakura shouted, a panicked look on her face. "Where's my bag!?"

Kakashi growled something impolite as he grabbed a towel out from his pack and tied it around his face. "Where's. My. Mask?" he growled, looking around the clearing. "And my book!?"

Seeing their eyes coming to her, Mitsuki took a step back. "I didn't do it!" she protested, holding up both hands quickly.

However, the ninja's attention wasn't on her as they noticed a giggling shadow move through the trees, quickly getting farther and farther away. "AFTER HER!!" Naruto shouted, pointing at the disappearing figure and running out of the clearing. Sakura ran after him, a determined look on her face while Kakashi simply vanished, reappearing in the treetops as he gave chase.

Finding herself alone in the clearing with Sasuke, Mitsuki smiled at the younger boy. "Sasuke-kun... Do you think you can help me with something?"

-

-

The Mitsuki look alike giggled again from her perch on top of a skinny pine tree. Stupid humans... So easy to trick, but so fun too! She rummaged through the stolen goods she'd collected, smiling at the treasures she'd gotten. She'd trade the forehead protector to the crow for the map he'd found, the piece of metal shiny enough to become a must-have for the overgrown bat. She'd keep the pouch... it was nice leather, with plenty of interesting looking items inside. Then there was the mask... She shrugged, really, she'd stolen it just because she could. People didn't wear masks for no reason. She'd wanted to see what sort of horrible scars the stupid ninja had. Lastly the book... She gazed at the cover, grinning from ear to ear. A shoujo manga! Giggling she flipped through it's pages, her smile somehow widening. Ooh, even better. A porn manga! Oh she'd be able to sell this for a pretty penny! Once she was done reading it of course...

"GOT YA!" an excited voice shouted.

She looked up just in time for Naruto's fist to connect with her forehead, going through it as she vanished in a swirl of leaves to appear three tree tops away. She grinned at the boy, dangling the forehead protector from one hand. "Ha!" she said, sticking out her tongue. "You want this back? I'd like to see you try!"

Sakura's slim hands grabbed the woman by the ankles as Kakashi suddenly appeared in front of her, his arms crossed. "Return everything," he growled, glaring at him.

The woman pouted, holding the book to her chest. "Aww... but I wanted to keep-" She was instantly gone again, appearing several yards away on the forest floor, laughing as she ran.

"Wing formation!" Kakashi ordered. "Naruto right, Sakura center!"

The two genin nodded, dropping down to the forest floor and giving chase.

-

-

"Can you see it now, Sasuke-kun?" Mitsuki called, looking up the tree. Sasuke was getting pretty high up now, she could barely see him through the tree branches.

"No," Sasuke shouted back down. "Are you sure this is the right tree?"

"Kappa-dono said it was the tiger tail west tree! This is the only tree that fits that description."

Sasuke sweatdropped, climbing higher. Tiger tail west? He didn't even know what that meant... 1 He was about to ask her if she was sure when he saw something glint in the crook of two branches. Grabbing the small object he jumped down and held it out to Mitsuki. "This it?"

Mitsuki took the pure white orb from him, smiling softly. "Do you think we'll be able to catch up?"

Sasuke nodded.

-

-

It was infuriating. Why couldn't two genin and a jounin catch one girl? A girl who was singing as she skipped through the forest, no less. Even when Naruto had created close to fifty clones, they hadn't been able to lay a finger on her, a mysterious blue fire appearing out of nowhere and destroying the clones seconds after they'd been made. He needed a new plan. Well, going ahead and ambushing her hadn't worked, laying traps hadn't worked (he caught Naruto instead), she'd avoided his kunai, dodged his grabs, kicked his hand when he'd tried to pull her underground...

A scant ten feet in front of him, the girl grinned breaking out in her third song as she skipped playfully, while avoiding Naruto's fifth shadow clone.

_Kitsune sugoi de!_

_Kitsune tanoshi!_

_Kitsune, atama ga ii!_

_Kitsune utsukushii!_

_Akai shippo, tsuyoi!_

_Sutairasshuna Kitsune!!_

_Ikutsuka hito, Kitsune ga kirai._

_Doshite desu ka?_

_Wakaranai._

_Minna-san, hito no atama wo kerimashou!_

_Hito, shinde kureru._

_Retsu GO!!_

_Kitsune, kamina!_

_Kitsune, mutekino!_

_Kitsune... Retsu GO!2_

As she finished she fell straight down. She'd jumped off a small cliff, Kakashi recognized seeing the break of the land. Judging by the trees the cliff wasn't that high... He nodded to his team, giving them the okay to follow. They jumped off the edge of the cliff...

...and landed at the edge of a natural hot-spring. _Where'd this come from? _Kakashi thought to himself, puzzled. None of the maps of the area had shown this... And why was is so misty? He could barely see anything.

"Eek!" several voices shreiked at once as many more gasped in surprise and pleasure. "A man!" someone cooed from within the mist.

They all blinked as several women dressed in nothing but towels appeared in the mist, the fog clearing enough to reveal that there were probably ten or twenty more of them still lounging in the hot-spring.

"Naruto! Don't look!" Sakura shrieked, grabbing the blond and forcefully covering his eyes. It wasn't right for him to look at girls while they were bathing...

Grinning from ear to ear, Kakashi waved at the staring girls. "Sorry to disturb! Please continue!"

Then again on second thought, maybe she should have grabbed Kakashi-sensei...

"Hi there," a dark haired, busty beauty said waving at Kakashi seductively. She slowly walked up to him, flanked by four others, the towels accenting their every curve. "I'm Yukimi... What's you're name?"

"Hatake Kakashi!"

The girls squealed, eyeing Kakashi with a predatory look. "Such a cute name," a blond woman cooed coming up and grabbing his arm.

"And the goods are so cute too!" another sighed, draping her arms around his neck

"Aww, but Kashi-kun, why are you wearing that towel as a mask?" a big breasted brunette asked, reaching up to undo the ties.

Kakashi smiled, but stopped her, redirecting her hands to his chest. "Sorry, ladies, but I don't kiss until the end of the first date."

The girls squealed again, pressing themselves closer to the jounin. _This is disgusting, _Sakura thought to herself. _I don't know what's worse, them hanging all over Kakashi-sensei or him enjoying it..._

"Ne, Sakura-chan, what's going on!?"

"Shut up, Naruto!"

"Oh, he's as funny as Master!" one of them giggled, snuggling forward so her breasts were tightly pressed up against him.

"Master?" Kakashi asked, looking interested.

The girls nodded. "We're all miko between the ages of 18 and 22," Yumiki said, her towel slipping so Kakashi could see more of her ample chest. "But there's not much to do here. Bathing, massages, whipping them out to see who's are larger... (Kakashi rubbed his nose, was he starting to get a nosebleed?) Not to mention studying the sacred book and practicing with Master."

"Oh, but Master's getting so old now!" the blond lamented, her hand dropping down to rest just below his belt. "He has trouble getting up to train with us."

"That's sad," Kakashi agreed, having the feeling that he was about to be groped. That hadn't happened in a while... "So what sort of jutsus do you study here?"

"Master only has us study and prefect the techniques of one book," Yumiki said smiling. "The wonderful jutsu of the _Karma Sutra_. Have you heard of it?"

Kakashi nodded, too shocked to speak. An entire convent of beautiful women with an old master... who studied the _Karma Sutra_ all day? _I'm in heaven...._

Naruto pulled at Sakura's hands, trying to see. "Ne, what's going on!? What's a Carpa Sunda or whatever!?

Kakashi glanced at the scantily clad women surrounding him and decided that this was as good a time as any to inform the boy about the facts of life. Carefully, he pulled away from them, smiling brightly. "Hold that thought." He then grabbed Naruto by the shoulder, released him from Sakura's grasp, and plopped him down on a boulder. Looking at the boy intensely he began to tell him about the birds and the bees. "You see, Naruto... When a ninja sees a girl who has a really great body and doesn't seem connected to anyone else in any way..." He frowned he was giving the kid the wrong idea... "Well, she can be connected, but you'll have to be able to convince her to drop the guy... Oh, threesomes with lesbians rock! And I suppose guy-guy could be fun too, but you'll have to talk to Gai to get all the details and..."

Sakura hit her teacher on the back of the head, glaring at him. "What the hell are you talking about!?" she shrieked. Not waiting for an answer she glared at Naruto. "Naruto, the _Karma Sutra_'s a very bad book, and if I see you even _look_ at it I will kill you."

"A bad book?" Yukimi said, shocked. "If the _Karma Sutra_'s such a bad book, where else would we learn a position like this!?"

"Don't look! Don't look!" Sakura shrieked, covering Kakashi and Naruto's eyes as the girls showed off some of their 'moves.'

Sasuke appeared at the top of the small cliff. "Oi, Sakura! What's going..." he trailed off, his eyes on the hot spring then collapsed, clutching a gushing nosebleed and blushing magenta.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted, abandoning Naruto and Kakashi to check up on the fallen Uchiha. "Are you alright!?"

"Oi, Kaka-sensei," Naruto said pointing to the women. "What sort of jutsu are they doing?"

Kakashi crossed his arms looking solemn. "A particularly effective one called the lotus blossom," he said grinning madly underneath his temporary mask. "Very powerful."3

"Honto ni!? Are you going to teach us that one, Kaka-sensei?"

Kakashi smiled patting Naruto on the head. "Maybe when you're older," he promised, making a mental note to buy all three of his genin _that_ book for their eighteenth birthdays. Hey, they'd be legal then and their future flings would thank him for it! But wait... If Sasuke was here then where had Mitsuki gone off th-

"Naruto close your eyes this instant or you will never live to see another day!" a familiar female voice shouted from behind them. Naruto obeyed instantly, covering his eyes with his hands and curling into the fetal position as extra precaution

Kakashi glanced back. Enraged female with flames swirling around her? Check. Hands in fists? Check. Look of righteous justice in her eyes? Check. His fun was over...

Scrambling down the cliff Mitsuki made a beeline for Kakashi. "You-You!" she sputtered, her finger rising to point at him, a disbelieving look in her eyes. "How could you!?" she finally shrieked pointing at Naruto. "How could you let an innocent boy into this den of harpies!!!???"

"Harpies!?" a DD-cup red head demanded. "We're miko!"

"Slutty miko!" Mitsuki shrieked, glaring at them.

Kakashi stepped aside. Maybe this was a chance to escape... or watch one hell of a cat fight... He'd better hang around to see if Mitsuki needed any help once they had fallen into the mud, towels falling off, hair being pulled, clothes ripped... He rubbed his nose again. Was he getting a nosebleed?

"How dare you call us sluts!" Yumiko shouted, glaring at her. "We're not the one traveling around with three men!"

Mitsuki opened her mouth to scream a retort when she froze noticing something. There were five girls glaring at her, each looking rather fuzzy through the mist, but there were many more in the hot- spring itself. None of the girls in the hot-spring were paying attention to anything, just bathing, splashing each other, talking... But there wasn't any sound. Mitsuki smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Joke's over Kitsune-dono."

Yumiki opened her mouth ro protest then closed it, glaring. Instantly the hot-springs with everyone in it was gone leaving behind only the raven haired woman in a towel. "I bet you think you're so smart seeing through my illusion!" the kitsune growled, her green eyes narrowed. "Well, you're not! And I'm not giving anything back!" She stuck her tongue out and turned to go.

"Kitsune-dono," Mitsuki said dryly, pulling a white orb out of her pocket and waving it.

The kitsune shrieked, running forward and jumping, trying to grab the orb. Mitsuki yanked it up, out of her reach as the kitsune shrank, changing shape until she looked like a five year old. "That's mine! Mine!" she whined, the orb still out of reach. "Ne-chan, gimmie it back!"

"First you have to return everything you stole."

The kitsune pouted. "Everything? That'll take years!!!"

"Then just return what you stole from us," Mitsuki said sighing.

Kakashi barely managed to dodge as his book came hurtling towards him, nearly striking him in the head. Instead it whizzed past him and embedded itself into a tree, his mask tied onto it.

Naruto yelped as his head protector was slammed onto his head, opening his eyes. _Damn... All the beautiful women are gone..._

"Everything better be in it," Sakura growled, grabbing her bag from the kitsune and putting it back on.

"It's all there," the kitsune said looking sorry. She brightened an instant later. "Except this!" she shouted, holding up a small wallet. Opening it so that a picture of Sasuke could be seen, she shoved the wallet into the boy's hands. "This must be yours!"

Sakura shrieked as Sasuke blinked at his picture, grabbing the wallet away a second later. "YOU BITCH!" she shouted, pointing at the kitsune.

Laughing the kitsune vanished to reappear in front of Mitsuki, her hands cupped. "Ne-chan, Ne- chan!" she whined jumping up and down. "I returned everything! Can I have my orb back? Can I, can I, can I?"

Mitsuki smiled, placing the white orb gently into the girl's hands. "Here you go," she said cheerfully.

The kitsune blinked, looking from Mitsuki to the orb and then back. "You... gave it to me."

"Hai, now if you don't mind, we need to get going back to our camp." Mitsuki turned to go only to see the kitsune in front of her again in the exact image of herself.

"You gave it back to me," the Mitsuki twin said in disbelief, staring at the orb.

Mitsuki smiled again. "Ano... Kitsune-dono... could you please not walk around in my form?"

In a flash the kitsune changed forms so she looked like Kakashi, grabbing Mitsuki in a bear hug. "Oh Ne-chan! Thank you ever so much!!!" she squealed in Kakashi's voice. Loosening her grip a bit she leaned over, and kissed Mitsuki full on the lips.

Mitsuki shrieked (as did Naruto (he hadn't been paying attention and thought that Kakashi had really kissed her)) and leaped back, falling on her rear. Slightly dazed she touched her lips, blushing. Did this mean she'd been kissed by Kakashi or the fox?

"I like you, Ne-chan!" the kitsune said, still in Kakashi's form. "If you like, I'll turn into this form whenever you like and do kinky things to you!"

Kakashi bobbed his twin on the head, glaring murderously. "No."

"Like you have any say in the matter!" the kitsune shrieked, round house kicking the jounin away from her.

Mitsuki blinked as the kitsune grinned down at her. "You're a girl," she finally said, blushing.

The kitsune shrugged. "I'm a fox. I don't have any of your human restraints." She closed her eyes grinning. "Besides! When I'm in this form I'm a man! Wanna make-out?"

Mitsuki smiled back, warily. "No... thank you..."

"You don't think he's very cute either, huh?" the kitsune said nodding understandingly. "How about a younger model?" she asked turning into Sasuke.

"NO!" Sakura shouted.

"Really Kitsune-dono, I-"

"An older one?" the kitsune offered turning into a crotchety looking old man. "A girl?" she asked turning into Sakura.

Mitsuki closed her eyes and slowly stood. "Kakashi-san?" she called looking towards the pissed off looking jounin. "Can we go back to camp now?"

Kakashi nodded, giving the kitsune a wary look. "Yeah, let's go."

-

-

Kakashi sighed and gently set a sleeping Mitsuki down by the side of a tree, leaning her against it so she wouldn't fall down. It had taken an hour and a half for him to get back to camp, the bloody fox stopping every five feet to introduce them all to different animals or plants that were supposedly her friends. He probably would have still been out there and being introduced to a pair of rabbits if Mitsuki hadn't abruptly fallen over. She'd apparently fallen asleep while standing up and since he'd been unable to find a dart or anything on her he assumed the cause had been pure exhaustion. Bidding farewell to his team and the fox, he'd picked her up and run back to camp, glad for the excuse.

Double checking that she wouldn't fall if he left her, Kakashi walked over to Mitsuki's discarded bag and rummaged through it. _Strange, _he thought. All that was in there was an extra set of clothes and a first aid kit. He had thought for sure that Tsunade-sama had packed a robe for her, not to mention pajamas... In fact he was sure she had, remembering the huge bag she had brought into his apartment.

He shrugged. Oh well, she would just have to sleep in her clothes for a while. He unattached the sleeping bag from the backpack's frame and grabbed the tent to do the same only to find that the tent bag was unusually light. Opening it, he found that somehow the tent had been replaced with two pillows. He sighed. Okay, now that was going to be a problem. He'd either have to make her a shelter of her own or make his larger, neither of which seemed to be all that of an exciting prospect.

He spread the sleeping bag out in his shelter placing it on top of a large pile of leaves in hopes that it would make the bed softer. Unzipping the bag halfway, he walked back to the tree, got Mitsuki, and slipped her into the sleeping bag, zipping it back up. After a moment's thought he grabbed on of the tent bag pillows and put it underneath her head. There. No one could say that he didn't take care of his responsibilities now.

"You know, if you took off that mask and grew a beard you might look cute," a female voice said in his ear.

To his credit, Kakashi didn't jump, he just turned around and gazed at the kitsune. "What's your name?" he asked after a moment.

"Kajika!" the kitsune said smiling. "My father named me after a manga character!"

Kakashi nodded, not really caring. "Kajika... where's the rest of my team?"

"Why?" Kajika asked, poofing into Mitsuki's form. "You wanna do something while their gone?"

"Where's my team?"

Kajika pouted. It wasn't fair. Why wasn't he rising to her taunts? "I got 'em lost and then ditched 'em," she said smiling. "They should figure it out eventually."

Kakashi sighed shaking his head. He should probably go find them so he could teach them to fish without tackle... "Can I trust you to watch Mitsuki while I'm gone?"

"Yes sir!" Kajika said saluting, poofing into the form of a red haired woman. "She's in safe hands!"

Kakashi gazed at her a moment. "That's what I thought," he sighed, grabbing the sticks from Naruto's shelter to make a fire. Maybe they would find their own way back...

-

-

(5 hours later...)

"Dammit Naruto! This is the third time we passed this river!"

"No it's not! This is a new one!"

"(sigh) Dobe..."

"Take that back Sasuk-"

"**_WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!??????_**"

"_AAAAAHHHHH!!_! SCARY KAPPA!!!!"

"**_GET BACK HERE SO I CAN EAT YOU BRATS!_**"

"RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

-

-

-

-

-

Kitsunes are really overly used in Japanese culture, sort of like tanuki and oni. So, they can easily become anything you want them to become. Kitsune's having orbs is a part of their mythology though... Can't remember which story though... Maybe _Kitsune and the Brothel_? Dunno. Kitsunes can change form though, and they don't have any problems with being 'free spirited' so to say.

For example, _The Good Fortune Kettle_... An old dude saves a fox from being killed. In thanks the fox changes into the old dude's 'daughter' and he sells her into a house of prostitution. And the entire time that they describe the fox they make it sound like a guy!!! (How can you tell, the fox says 'boku' for 'I') Those trans-gendered foxes man... You've got to watch out for them!

1- I don't know what it means either. Just seemed like a good strange description.

2- The literal translation of Kajika's song is as follows (why literal? It's more fun 'cause it don't make sense!):

Kitsune, amazing!

Kitsune, fun!

Kitsune, head is good!

Kitsune, beautiful!

Red tails, strong!

Stylish Kitsune!

Some people hate Kitsunes

Why?

I don't know

Everyone, kick a human's head

Person, please die.

Let's GO!

Kitsune, god-like!

Kitsune, undefeatable!

Kitsune, let's GO!

3- I don't know if the lotus blossom is a real Karma Sutra move. I've never actually seen a copy of that book. Just heard about it so I know that I don't want to see it.

Elle- Yeah, she is rather childish. There is a pretty good reason for it though... If I don't get the chance/don't remember to put it in later I'll tell you why.

Yipster54- I was glad too... Couldn't find your name on Fanfiction... What's your story called/going to be called?

sna- Thanks. Don't really have much else to say so I'll ask you a question. Does your pen-name stand for 'Super Normal Aardvarks' or 'Singing Nutmeg Anonymous'?

kodomo- I would recommend searching for the site 'Big in Japan.' So far I've found really good summaries on Kappa and Tengu from them which it great 'cause those aren't really story creatures. They're more of a 'if you go into the mountains the Tengu will get you' sort of monsters. If you want anything more specific I'd say just type in the name of the creature you want and add Japan after that.

Lady Light- Yeah, she hit her head, lost her memories, is living with a complete stranger... But this is fiction! It always turns out happy! I'd like to see her try this in real life...

Anko-san - I think it still needs more Kakashi. Or at the very least Jiraiya... Jiraiya is sexy too!

Dragon Man 180- Nope... Well... Sorta... When you look at it as a general description of 'not human, but close' she is, but she's not an animal of any sort. You're the closest though...


	9. Trial of the Tengu

Miss me? (crickets chirp) Thought so. Just to let everyone who cares know, I won't be updating for about three weeks. Exams are coming up, I'm a freshman, and I want to get really good grades. So story 'bye-bye' boring textbooks 'hello.'

Also, I'm going to write a letter to Santa this year! Why? There's a post office in Canada that if you send a letter to Santa to, they'll write you back! (And I think it would be funny to get a letter in the mail with the return address from Santa Claus...)

I've decided to award the title of Master to both _Dragon Man 180 _and _Kitsune Classic _for their wonderful guesses and since Mitsuki is sort of in between those two things. (Hugs)

Chapter 8: Trail of the Tengu

"You know," Naruto said staring at the sky. "I never thought it would end this way... Lost in the forest for days... no food... no water... no ramen... Who knew fate could be so cruel?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "It's only going to be one night, Naruto."

"A NIGHT WITHOUT FOOD!" Naruto moaned. He flopped onto his back and stared blankly up. "I don't think I'll even last the until dawn."

Sasuke scoffed, glaring at a random spot on a tree. "Dobe."

"SHUT THE HELL UP SASUK-" he stopped, a tall figure suddenly looming over him, a sword glinting in their hand. "Sakura-chan! Run!"

_-_

_-_

Yawning, Mitsuki sat up in her sleeping bag and stretched, nearly knocking down the stick shelter she'd been sleeping under. She blinked. This was strange... She hadn't remembered falling asleep. Then again, she'd realized by now that she wasn't able to remember much of anything. Perhaps her memory was just getting worse?

"Morning!" Kakashi's voice said from the other side of the clearing. Mitsuki turned from her sitting position to see the silver haired jounin leaning against a tree, his favorite book in his hand. "Sleep well?"

"Ano... Yes I did, thank you."

"Breakfast will be done in a minute or two," he said turning the page of his book.

"Breakfast?"

Not looking up, Kakashi gestured towards the firepit where a spit had been erected over the flames, two small creatures roasting on it.

Getting out of her sleeping bag, Mituki walked over to the firepit and looked at the two creatures. "Squirrel, gopher, or mouse?" she asked, turning the spit and watching the juice drip from the tiny bodies.

"I'm going to think of it as squirrel," Kakashi said, turning the page.

_Rat then,_ Mitsuki thought to herself. _Scrawny rats..._

Shutting his book, Kakashi stood and walked over to her, smiling brightly. "Feeling better?" he asked cheerfully, taking the spit off the fire and breaking it in two. Handing her one of the rats, he sat down cross legged and blew on the meat to cool it down.

"Yup," Mitsuki said, following his example. Taking a bite out of meat, she gasped and began fanning her mouth. "Hot," she muttered.

Kakashi handed her a water canteen and tossed the bones of his meal into the bushes. Mitsuki stared at him, how could he eat so fast? "After you're done, we need to go on a short mission."

"Really?" Mitsuki asked, finishing up her rat. It wasn't as good as squirrel, or even mouse, but it had made a good breakfast. "What for?"

"Kajika got my team lost last night and they haven't managed to find their way back yet," Kakashi said packing his backpack full of the emergency stash of food and first aid supplies.

"Who's Kajika?" Mitsuki asked, licking the grease off of her fingers. She couldn't remember hearing that name before.

"The fox."

Mitsuki froze. "Kitsune-dono's true name is Kajika?" she asked, staring at Kakashi with wide eyes.

"Yes." Kakashi glanced over at her. Why was she acting so weird? Had she heard that name before? "What's the matter?"

He blinked in surprise as Mitsuki launched herself at him, hugging him around the chest. "Wai! I'm so proud of you Kakashi-san!" she squealed, excitedly. "You got Kitsune-dono to tell you her true name! You two must have become great friends!" She suddenly stopped, blushing. "Ano... Gomen..."

Kakashi smiled, waving his hand. "No problem," he said still feeling the warmth of Mitsuki's arms. "So the fact that she told me her name is a big deal?"

Mitsuki nodded, energetically. "Hai! True names are important! The fact that she allows you to use her true name means that she trusts you!" She paused for a moment. "You made sure to tell her to call you Kakashi, didn't you?"

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Ano..."

"You didn't!?" Mitsuki shouted, looking horrified. "Well, Kitsune-dono doesn't call you Hatake-san, does she?"

Kakashi managed to keep a straight face as he remembered that morning, the fox waking him up by sprawling across his lap wearing nothing but three leaves and calling him 'Kashi-lover.' "No," he said truthfully. "She doesn't call me Hatake. Is that important?"

Mitsuki nodded again. "Kakashi is your true name while your stranger name is Hatake. If she gave you her true name, then it would be in insult if you had her still call you Hatake-san."

Kakashi nodded and closed his bag. What Mitsuki was explaining sounded quite a bit like what he was used to already. The people he knew well calling him Kakashi, the strangers calling him Hatake. It made perfect sense. "What about you, Mitsuki-chan?" he asked, swinging his backpack onto his back. "What's your true name?"

"Mitsuki," she said answering automatically.

"Then your stranger name is...?"

She frowned looking thoughtful. "I... Ano... Mitsuki?"

Kakashi smiled, patting her on the head. "Ginsei," he said after a moment.

"Silver?"

"Hai. Your last name, until you remember your old one, is Ginsei."1

Mitsuki blinked up at him for a moment before smiling brightly. "Hai!" she finally said, smiling brightly.

Smiling down at her, Kakashi turned and started to head west out of the clearing. "Come on Mitsuki-chan, let's find the team."

"Hai!" Mitsuki called, running up to catch up to him.

-

-

Kakashi studied the tracks intently. Apparently the his team had approached this river three times from three different directions. Now which way had been the most recent? Sakura's tracks crossed her own tracks once to the east, but Sasuke's most recent ones seemed to go north while Naruto's was south... Had they split up for whatever reason? Puzzling...

Sitting next to the river, Mitsuki silently watched Kakashi at his work. Tracking seemed to be difficult, based on how intently he was studying the ground . It was nice to know someone who knew such a difficult skill.

"What's he doing?" came a whispered voice from her left.

"I think he's tracking," Mitsuki whispered back smiling at Kajika. The Kitsune had rejoined their party moments before they had arrived at the river. In the guise of a red headed sixteen year old she had been stealing bread from bandits some five miles away.

"Really?" the kitsune asked, popping the last of the bread into her mouth. "Why's he not using his nose?"

"(&$&)) humans can't smell their own )(&$##& stench much less others," the kappa of the river growled, from Mitsuki's right. "Stupid, ugly, (&$&&(, retarded humans..."

"Kappa-dono!" Mitsuki scolded, looking horrified at what the kappa was saying. "That's not very nice! Just because we can't smell very well..."

"Who's he looking for anyway?" Kajika asked, looking bored. The ninja wasn't doing anything fun. In fact he wasn't doing anything except studying the ground.

"He's looking for Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, and Sakura-chan," Mitsuki said sighing. Watching Kakashi was getting rather boring... "He's tracking them to see which direction they went."

"That way," Kajika and the River Kappa said together, pointing to the south.

Mitsuki blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Can smell them in that direction," Kajika said watching Kakashi kneel down to get a closer look at one set of prints.

"Chased three brats that way last night," the Kappa growled. "Damn )&$#$()(#. Kept (&&$&$ waking me up all last night so I had to (&$& chase them away."

"That wasn't very nice Kappa-dono."

"What? I was only trying to eat the ($&)(&(& brats."

Mitsuki blushed and sighed. "Ano... Ka-"

Kajika clapped her hand over Mitsuki's mouth grinning widely. "Wait! He's bending over!" she hissed grinning evilly. She giggled to herself, ogling openly. "You know, from this angle he doesn't look half bad..."

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder, glaring. "What are you doing?"

She sighed shaking her head. "Nevermind. The face ruined it..."

Kakashi looked at the sighing fox, the blushing girl, and the murder glaring kappa and decided that he really didn't want to know. "They went south," he announced, walking over to help Mitsuki to her feet.

"No #&)$ shit, Sherlock? I ($((& would never have guessed!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the Kappa's language. "Ready to go Mitsuki-chan?"

Mitsuki nodded, accepting his help up. "See you later, Kappa-dono," she said politely bowing to the river kappa.

The kappa scoffed glaring as the two people and the kitsune walked into the forest and vanished. Sighing he rested by the edge of his river, preparing to get some much deserved sleep. He had nearly dozed off when a shadow cut across the sunlight he'd been resting in. He opened his eyes, looked the tall figure over and pointed to the south. "They went that way," he said. Closing his eyes once more, the kappa drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

-

-

"Cryptomeria trees!"2 Mitsuki squealed, rushing up to smell the pleasant aroma the pines were giving off. "Mmmm... Kakashi-san, come and smell the cryptomeria!"

Kakashi nodded absently, studying the ground intently. This wasn't good. After easily following his student's tracks for an hour and a half, the trail had vanished in this tiny clearing, miles south of where camp was supposed to be. He frowned, kneeling down to get a better look. Sasuke had sat there, at the base of the only non-pine tree in the entire clearing. His legs had been outstretched and he'd probably been leaning against the tree... Sakura had been nearby, sitting traditionally while tending what had once been a fire. He picked up a highly scorched stick. Sasuke had probably started the fire with his jutsu, but the fire hadn't caught very well considering the dampness of the wood. Naruto had been resting near the fire, his face to the heat. A short time later he had flopped onto his back, only to scramble to his feet a moment later... and then nothing. His students' movements were frozen at these spots as if they had suddenly been whisked away at that very moment.

"Nee-chan!" Kajika shouted, a few feet into the forest. "Come look!"

Mitsuki looked over at Kakashi, uncertain over if she should go or not. "Ano... Kakashi-san..."

Kakashi waved his hand at her absently, unconsciously noting which direction she went. Right now he had to concentrate on what had happened to his students.

_They don't know how to teleport yet,_ Kakashi thought to himself, studying the area intently. _There are no rocks or logs in their spots so they weren't replaced... The ground is untouched so they weren't swallowed... That leaves... The sky?_ He looked up, studying the branches of the cryptomeria trees intently. _That one shows signs of recent damage, but what sort of jutsu would be able to yank my students off of the ground and into the air?_

While thinking over all of the Village of Cloud's known attacks, Kakashi suddenly realized how very quiet it had become. True, the birds were still singing as if it were a normal day, but the sounds of Mitsuki and Kajika running around had completely vanished. He mentally cursed, it would figure that they would wander off. "Mitsuki-chan, could you come here for a moment?" he called, studying Sasuke's prints. It seemed he had tried to get up too, but hadn't managed to move more then an inch.

Kakashi looked up, glancing behind him. Sighing heavily, he entered the woods where Mitsuki had vanished. Whatever Kajika had wanted to show her shouldn't have been that far away and with something mysteriously grabbing his students, he should have Mitsuki close so she too wasn't attacked.

Making sure his kunais were within easy access, the silver haired jounin stepped into a larger clearing to see a white haired, red faced man glance up at his arrival. "Sumimasen," he said politely, studying the old man carefully. He didn't look dangerous, but appearances often were deceiving. Besides, there wasn't any villages for miles. "Have you seen a sixteen year old with red hair and a twenty year old with black hair passing through?"

The old man gazed at Kakashi and gently fanned himself with a large feather fan. Kakashi glared, preparing to enter a battle stance. The old man was obviously weaving some sort of genjutsu, in this light it seemed as if his red nose was growing and wings were sprouting from his back.

Mentally picturing his attack, Kakashi formed the ox hand seal before being pitched forward, his eyes involuntary closing. _Damn,_ he thought to himself as he blacked out. _Didn't see that coming..._

The white haired man ignored the now unconcious ninja, fanned himself a bit more until he was satisfied that his nose was appropriately long. Standing he nodded to his companions to bring the man and together, the three took to the sky.

-

-

_Someone is hovering over me! Attack! _Kakashi thought to himself, trying to stab whoever it was that had sneaked up on him while he was sleeping. Instead, he found that he couldn't move. His arms seemed to be tightly bound to his torso, something hard and uncomfortable at his back. How had he been caught so off guard?

"Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi's eyes snapped open, a brown and red eyes meeting grey. "Mitsuki-chan?"

Mitsuki smiled at him, holding up an old fashioned drinking canteen. "Thirsty?" she asked, looking apologetic.

"No." Kakashi looked around the small room they were in, noting the only exit immediately. They were in a small, dark shelter with a high roof and carefully constructed walls. There was one doorway directly behind where Mitsuki knelt, a cloth hanging across it, two large shadows on it. _Two guards,_ he thought to himself. Quickly he formulated an escape plan. To break through the walls would make too much noise so he'd simply kill the guards, grab Mitsuki and... Dammit. What about Naruto and the others? "The team?"

Mitsuki glanced up at him and nodded, before quickly adverting her eyes again. "They're here and fine. Sojobo-sama gave me permission to see them before coming here."

"Sojobo-sama?"

"Our host," Mitsuki supplied helpfully. Slowly, she looked up at Kakashi a worried look in her eyes. "Ne, Kakashi-san... You're in a lot of trouble..."

Kakashi looked at her, puzzled. "Why?" he asked preparing for the worst. Had they been captured by the Sound?

Mitsuki frowned and fiddled with the ends of her hair. "Ano... Sojobo-sama considers this forest as part of his clan's land and... ano... he's very upset that you brought everyone here... Especially since you're ninja."

Kakashi nodded slowly, still puzzled. This land had belonged to Konoha ever since the First had founded the village. Who was this Sojobo and why did he think otherwise? "Where's my head protector?" he asked, suddenly realizing that while his mask was still in place, the forehead protector was gone.

Mitsuki immediately looked at the ground, pulling at her hair. "They're using it as evidence in the trial."

"What trial?"

"The trial to decide what to do with everyone..."

Kakashi sighed in frustration. He was getting answers, but not the ones he was looking for. Where exactly was Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto? Why was Mitsuki left untied? Who was Sojobo? What was this about a trial?

"Mitsuki-chan," Kakashi said firmly, trying to catch Mitsuki's eyes.

"H-Hai?"

"You need to tell me about everything that's going on. Now."

"About the trial?"

"About everything. You have five minutes."

Mitsuki sighed, watching the sunlight filter in through a crack in the wall. "Last night, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, and Sakura-chan wandered in too close to the nesting site of Sojobo-sama's clan. Everyone was naturally very upset, they thought that Naruto-kun intended to eat their young since he was complaining so loudly that he was hungry."

Kakashi sighed. Great. This sounded as if he was going to be dealing with another supposedly fictional, mythological group of beings that he had never seen hind nor hair of before Mitsuki arrived. "What does Sojobo-sama and his clan happen to be?" he asked dryly. "Kappa? Kitsune? Oni? Yuki-Onna?"

"Oh, Yuki-Onna won't be in this area for another month or two," Mitsuki answered, smiling weakly. "Sojobo-sama and his clan are Tengu."

"Tengu?"

Mitsuki flushed a bit, waving her hands around. "Y-You know. The creators of all forms of martial arts! The heavenly creatures who gracefully migrated here from China and brought with them great wisdom in the arts of fighting and defense!"

"Never heard of them."

"Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki hissed, looking slightly panicked. "Don't say that so loud! You might offend someone!"

"Hai, hai," Kakashi sighed. He shifted in his bonds. As Mitsuki continued with her tale he'd work on getting free. "Continue."

Mitsuki shot a nervous look at the door before continuing on. "Well, the tengu grabbed Naruto and the others and brought them here to stand trial. They were trespassing after all, and Naruto had given the clan a nasty scare so everyone thought that they had to be punished. Only, Naruto-kun let it slip that you and I were still in the forest so Sojobo-sama sent out teams to find and capture us."

Kakashi nodded, the ropes much looser now. "What about this trial?"

"Sojobo-sama is allowing a trial to take place to determine what to do with everyone," Mitsuki said, the ground suddenly looking interesting again. "One of the younger tengu will be trying to convince the elders to execute everyone while Kajika-chan will be arguing that everyone should be set free."

"Kajika-chan?"

Mitsuki nodded, still nervous. "Since Kajika-chan isn't human and she's lived in this forest all her life, she was chosen as the best agent of defense."

Kakashi nodded, the ropes dropping to the ground. Grabbing Mitsuki's hand, he stood, looking to the door. "Stay close," he warned, pulling a kunai out of his pouch. "Which way are Sasuke and the others from here?"

"Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki hissed, looking up at him horrified. "You got out of the ropes!?"

"It's a genin level jutsu," Kakashi said considering which jutsus may be best in this situation. "Are tengu weak against any elements?"

"Sit down!" Mitsuki hissed, pushing Kakashi to the ground and grabbing the ropes. "I can't believe you untied these!" she growled, shoving at him until his back was once again against the post. "Now be still while I tie you back up."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, grabbing her wrist. "No," he said firmly, trying to stand again.

"Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki hissed, managing to sit on his legs in a manner that would stop him from getting up. "Listen! You really have to get tied up again! Sojobo-sama and everyone else will be very upset if they find out you're free."

Kakashi grabbed both of Mitsuki's wrists gazing deeply into her eyes. She looked genuinely worried, but she didn't have to be... "The tengu want to execute us," Kakashi whispered back. "Kajika is defending us. We have to escape while we still can. Now get off, and tell me where my team's being held."

"No!" Mitsuki growled, looking determined and rather angry. Struggling to free her wrists, she tried to grab the rope again. "Damn it Kakashi! If you know what's good for you, you'll let me go and allow me to tie you up!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes at her angry but pathetic efforts. This would be so much easier if he could just knock her out... But he needed to know where his team was to make escaping easier. Sighing, Kakashi knocked Mitsuki off of him and to the ground, straddling her and grabbing both of her wrists in on hand. "Now Mitsuki-chan," he said smiling pleasantly. "Where's my team?"

Mitsuki stared at him, her face slowly becoming more and more red. "Ka- Ka- Kakashi!" she whined, trying to pull her wrists away from his grasp. "G-get off!"

Kakashi ignored her and, grabbing the rope, proceeded to tie her wrists together. It was obvious that she was going to be a problem during their escape and if she was bound a little, it would make it that much easier to just drag her to safety. Her wrists bound, he wrapped the end of the rope once around his own hand and held it tightly. Still smiling, he leaned forward, supporting his weight on his arms so he wouldn't crush her. "Mitsuki..."

She refused to make eye contact, staring at some random place in the wall, her face ruby red. "H-Hai?"

"My team. Where are they?"

"A-Ano...."

Kakashi heard a muted growl of rage come from somewhere before he was violently yanked up, off of Mitsuki and thrown into the wall, the boards groaning in protest. A large hand was wrapped around his throat, it's owner's dark black eyes glaring at him murderously. Kakashi took one look at the bright red face and the six inch long nose thought, _Not human,_ and brought his hands up to attack.

"Kakashi-san, no!" Mitsuki shouted, grabbing one of Kakashi's hands although her wrists were still bound. Frantic she looked at the tall tengu that was pinning him to the wall. "Shino-kun stop it! Let Kakashi-kun go!"

The long nosed tengu turned to look at Mitsuki, his grip not loosening.

Mitsuki blushed, her grip on Kakashi's hand tightening. "I-I know," she said looking nervous. "De-Demo Kakashi-kun wasn't hurting me!"

Shino looked back at Kakashi, his grip tightening. Is air supply nearly cut off, Kakashi prepared to do hand seals with his one free hand. Honestly, Mitsuki couldn't expect him to just hang here being strangled while she had a one sided conversation with a red faced creature!

Mitsuki released Kakashi's hand and instead reached up and grabbed onto Shino's arm. "Shino-kun," she said softly. "Please let Kakashi-kun go. He wasn't attacking me, I'm fine, and you're really starting to hurt him."

The tengu didn't look all that upset when she said that, but he released him, stalking away as Kakashi leaned against the wall rubbing his throat. "That a tengu?" he asked, noting the creature's long nose and black wings.

"Hai," Mitsuki said giving both him and the tengu disapproving looks. Finally she sighed, holding out her wrists for Kakashi to untie. "You must excuse Shino-kun, he's very upset that I don't remember him."

Kakashi worked on the knots, watching the sulking tengu. "You know him?"

Mitsuki nodded, looking thoughtful. "Yes... I mean, I think I should... He remembers me but I can't remember him..."

**_-Your presence is required.- _**The annoyed voice rang through Kakashi's head as Shino turned to glare at the slightly shorter man. **_-You will come with me now for judging.-_**

Mitsuki smiled politely, her wrists now free, while Kakashi glanced around the room for the source of the voice. The tengu's mouth hadn't moved. "Arigatou Shino-kun. We'll be right behind you." Still smiling, she grabbed onto Kakashi's arm and dragged him forward with her. "Be polite," she hissed in warning. "The Council of Elders is not as forgiving as Shino-kun."

Kakashi thought of Naruto's big mouth and mentally sighed. Not as forgiving? They were doomed.

-

-

"...and that," Kajika said loudly as the prisoners approached, "is why you shouldn't kill them!" Bowing elegantly she turned and marched over to the small group, grinning widely. Leaning over, she smiling at Naruto. "Get ready to run for your life," she hissed, the smile not leaving her face. "They're gonna kill ya..."

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked looking around. If Kakashi-sensei was here then they would be able to escape, but Sakura wasn't sure that they would be able to escape all of the katana wielding tengu by themselves. "Is he okay?"

Kajika shrudded, studying her nails. "He's probably getting all hot and heavy with Mitsuki," she said, looking board. "You know, doing XXX and OOO to each other... Nothing turns a girl on like impending death."

Even Sasuke blushed at the mental image Kajika was portraying. He glanced behind his shoulder. "They're here."

Kakashi smiled and cheerfully greeted his students pretending to be perfectly at ease. The odds weren't good he recognized, patting Naruto on the head and cracking a joke. If even half of the tengu surrounding them could use the katanas they were wielding then escape could be a problem. However, based on the way they were holding themselves Kakashi guessed that all of the tengu were at least proficient with the weapon.

"Mitsuki-chan!" Kajika squealed, slapping her on the back and grinning widely. "Come to help make funeral preparations?"

"It's that bad?" Mituski asked, nervously watching the quietly conversing council.

"Nah, not really..." Kajika grabbed Sakura and pulled into their little circle. "Okay, this is the plan Sakura-chan... When they order your execution, you and Mitsuki-chan will fall to your knees and beg for the lives of the fathers of your unborn children." She smiled, winking at Sakura. "Sasuke-chan will be yours and Mitsuki-chan... You'll take Kashi I guess..."

Sakura blushed but slowly nodded. "What about Naruto-kun?"

Kajika grinned widely. "Easy! I'll make a fuss, tell everyone that he's the best lover I've ever had, drag him into the bushes, and-"

Mitsuki smacked Kajika in the back of the head, glaring at her. "No."

"What? Did you want Naruto?"

"The council will understand that all of this has just been one big misunderstanding and let us all go," Mitsuki said, sighing. "We'll be fine."

Kajika frowned, biting her nail. "Misunderstanding? Damn... That's the angle I should have used..."

**_-The council will be voting now,-_** Shino said, walking up and grabbing hold of Mitsuki's hand. **_-I hope they all die,-_** he said pleasantly, smiling brightly.

"Shino-kun!" Mitsuki scolded, pulling her hand away. "If the council kills everyone, I'll die too."

Kajika shook her head. "Nah... They already voted us free," she grinned at the dark haired girl. "Good deal, ne?"

Taking her hand again, Shino gently pulled Mitsuki away from the group. **_-Come now Mitsuki. You don't want blood all over you, now do you?-_**

Kakashi suddenly appeared, pulling Mitsuki out of Shino's grasp and wrapping one arm around her. "She's fine here," he calmly said glaring at the red faced creature.

_**-You miserable excuse for a- -**_

"Shut up, birdbrain," Kajika snapped, poofing into the form of a red headed, green eyed Kakashi. She grabbed Mitsuki hauling her to the side. "As for you four," she snapped, glaring at the prisoners, "stand straight, smile and look respectable. They're voting!"

-

-

The Tengu Council of Elders was made up of ten of the bravest and the best of the Tengu man starting with old Washi the Archer. Washi gazed at the two fans laid before him for a short while before picking up the black one, fanning himself with it serenely.

Next to him Akio the Horseman raised his black fan followed by Hiroshi of the Chained Weapons raising his as well. However, Yukio of the Staff raised the white fan while next to him, his brother Haruko of Close Combat raised his white fan as well. Goro the Swimmer chose the black fan but the next three (Matsu of the Spear, Tamasine of the Tanto (Dagger), and his twin Toshi of the Gunsen (War Fan)) chose the white fans.

Looking thoughtful, the last elder, Sojobo of the Katana raised the black fan. **_-A tie,-_** he declared, not looking to confirm if this was true. He nodded to Kajika and Mitsuki. **_-Rejoin them and start anew.-_**

"Okay, we survived round one," Kajika said, gathering everyone into a huddle. "Ready to die?"

"Ne, ne, but we only need to change one of their minds!" Naruto said looking excited. "You can do it, Kajika-chan!"

Kajika smiled at him brightly. "Yup! I can do it! Only, I can't go up again! But don't worry, I'll pray at your graves every spring unless I forget."

"What do you mean you can't go up again?" Sakura asked, looking worried.

"I already stated my case, they won't listen to me again," Kajika said. She glanced over her shoulder and watched Shino silently speak to the elders, his hands gesturing wildly. "Damn... That kid's good..."

"Nani? What's he saying?" Naruto whined, turning to look. "I can't hear."

"That's because he's leaving you out of the conversation, Naruto-kun," Mitsuki said softly, patting Naruto gently on the head. "Tengu speak with their minds so it's easy to leave unwanted people out of their conversations."

As they watched, Shino bowed lowly, turned and went back to the far side of the clearing, smiling at Mitsuki. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi stepped forward only to be tackled by Kajika. "Don't you dare!" she growled, motioning Mitsuki to go forward. "Mitsuki's next in defense."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, helping the fox and his teacher to their feet. "Wouldn't Kakashi-sensei be better?"

"Maybe, but Kashi's human," Kajika said watching Mitsuki slowly approach the elders.

"So?"

"Mitsuki-chan's half."

Kakashi looked over at her sharply. "What?"

"Shh... She's starting."

Mitsuki bowed lowly to the elders looking nervous. "I offer no defense," she said quietly, ignoring Naruto and Sakura's sharp intake of breath. "Instead I ask for Torikae."

"DAMMIT MITSUKI!" Kajika shouted. She fell onto her knees and began repeatedly banging her head against the ground. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!"

"Replacement?" Sakura asked, watching the conversing council. "What does that mean?"

Kajika sighed, rubbing the bruise that was forming on her forehead. "It means that she's asking the council to judge her as a suitable replacement for all of you."

"Meaning?"

Kajika blinked at the harshness of Kakashi's voice. "If the council accepts they'll vote on whether or not Mitsuki-chan's life is a suitable substitute for all of yours." She sighed, getting to her feet. "I asked earlier and all they did was laugh at me... You're _screwed_..."

Kakashi leaned towards his team, dropping his voice. "On my signal head towards the east. Take out as many as needed to get away, but keep to the ground and no matter what, stick together and keep moving."

Kajika glanced to the east. True, there were fewer spectator/guards there, but they also were wearing the green arm band of the masters. She sighed. Oh well... They were ninjas after all, they'd probably prefer to go out fighting.

**_-We will vote now,-_** Sojobo said softly nodding to the council. Kajika blinked in surprise. They were actually considering it?

The council members, as one, raised their fans, their faces blank. Seven white fans and three black slowly fanned their owners.

"Shit..." Kajika muttered in shock. She rubbed her eyes, she couldn't have been seeing this right.

Sojobo glanced at his companions and slowly nodded, placing his black fan back in front of him. **_-It is decided. The one known as Tennyo Mitsuki shall be held acceptable to replace the ninjas in the council's eyes.-_**

"Holy mother fu..." Kajika muttered, trailing off with a blank look on her face.

"Tennyo?" Kakashi muttered, feeling puzzled. He glanced up at Mitsuki who was swaying back and forth on her feet. Was her true last name Tennyo then?

**_-We will vote now for the fate of Tennyo Mitsuki,-_** Sojobo said studying the fans before him, a grave look on his face. Each of the tengu looked much more serious now, as if the decision had become that much harder to make. Sighing heavily Washi raised his white fan gazing intently at Mitsuki. Akio followed, raising his white fan with only a moment's hesitation.

One after another, each tengu slowly raised a white fan, refusing to look anywhere but at the ground or Mitsuki's face. Finally, Sojobo raised his own white fan and slowly stood. **_-Decided,- _**was all he said, nodding to Mitsuki. The rest of the council also stood, nodding politely before all of leaped into the air on an unspoken signal, their wings carrying them up and away into the bright afternoon sky. A moment later the rest of the tengu took off, carrying with them the entire village, the buildings themselves uprooted and carried between two or more.

"Where are they going?" Naruto asked, watching in amazement as five tengu carried a building larger then a gym off into the air.

Kajika shrugged. "New camp," she said, looking bored.

"Why?"

"You didn't expect them to trust us with the location of their village now did you?"

Kakashi ignored his students as they protested, watching Shino and Mitsuki carefully. The two had been quietly conversing ever since the council had left, Mitsuki looking exceptionally pale. Finally, she smiled at the tengu and after a quick hug, Shino leapt into the air a great bundle of arrows in his arms.

Approaching slowly, Kakashi smiled conversationally at Mitsuki. "What was that all about?"

Mitsuki smiled back, swaying a little in the breeze. "Shino-kun came to give me these," she said holding up four forehead protectors with the symbol of Konoha upon them. "He said these belonged to you."

Kakashi nodded, accepting his forehead protector and tying it back in place. "You look pale."

"I-I'm fine."

Deciding not to push it, Kakashi smiled brightly at her. "Do you remember how the tengu knew you, Tennyo-cha-"

"Don't call me that!" Mituski suddenly shouted, shoving Kakashi away from her as hard as she could. "Don't ever call me by that name ever again!"

Kakashi blinked, startled by her violent reaction. "Mitsuki-chan..."

"I'm Ginsei Mitsuki now, right?" Mitsuki asked, tears springing up in her eyes. "Ginsei, not Tennyo..."

Kakashi frowned down at her, now knowing how the discovery of her true last name could be so upsetting. Perhaps she had remembered something that she hadn't wanted to? It had to be something truely terrible judging by the state of near collapse she was in. Gently putting his arm around his shoulder, he led her back to the group, ignoring her sniffles. "We need to get back to camp before nightfall," he decided firmly, fixing his team with a firm look. "When we get back, Sasuke you start a fire, Sakura, you will get us fresh water, and Naruto, you will fix your shelter so it's usable. After that we'll all go out and I'll teach you how to trap." He looked at them all seriously. "If we don't catch dinner before nightfall we'll be forced to eat... squirrels."

Kajika made a face. "Eww.... You actually ate those rats this morning? That's so... eww..."

Kakashi ignored her, still looking at his team. "We'll go by the treetops. Concentrate on speed."

Sakura raised her hand. "What about Mitsuki-chan?" she asked, watching the teary eyed girl carefully.

"I've got her," Kajika sighed, falling onto all fours. Slowly, she changed shape, her face narrowing while her body got larger and larger, two tails appeared, whipping around her as if overjoyed to be free again. "What?" the two-tailed fox demanded, glaring at them through green eyes. "Never seen a fox before?"

"They've never seen a true Kitsune before," Kakashi said. He hesitated a moment before placing the unresponsive Mitsuki onto the horse sized fox's back. "They were too young to remember the Kyuubi." He glared at her as she wrapped a tail around Mitsuki, holding her tightly. "Watch it, Nibi."3

Kajika stuck her tongue out at the silver haired jounin and flicked Naruto's nose with her free tail. "You just run behind me, darling," she cooed seductively.

Naruto blinked and paled as a deep rumbling 'yes' echoed through him. He gagged. EWW! Kajika was flirting with the Kyuubi!

Kakashi'a glare deeped as Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other, confused. Why was the kitsune flirting with Naruto? Pulling out a kunai, Kakashi held it before Kajika's nose. "Camp," he said firmly.

Glaring, Kajika smacked Kakashi with her tail and dashed into the forest.

-

-

-

-

-

A good site for Tengu is Big In Japan. A good anime about Tennyo is _Ayashi no Ceres_, or at least that's what I've been told. A good story about Tennyo is _The Woman Who Came Down From Heaven_. A good site for porn should be kept to yourself. Hey, I don't want to know about it and if you're that perverted then good for you.

1: _Ginsei Mitsuki _roughly translates into _Fullmoon made of Silver_. What? You didn't know that Mitsuki means Fullmoon? Where'd you think I got the title of this story from then?

2: A Cryptomeria tree is a type of pine tree that only grows in Japan. It's also known as the Japanese Cedar. Besides that I just know that they're supposed to smell really good and Tengu like them.

3: Two-Tails. When you break down Kyuubi it turns into Kyuu (nine) and bi (tail). So in Kajika's case I put the word for two (ni) and tail together and made Nibi. (I'll admit it, it doesn't sound as cool...)

Dragon Man 180: Yeah, Kajika is really annoying... Is she any less in this one? I doubt she'd ever treat Naruto like a lord though, it's not really in her personality.

Lady Light: He's not really OOC if you watch episode 101 at three in the morning on a sugar buzz. Then he seems perfectly normal! But I agree, he is rather OOC, he's just kinda blasted hard...

Inuyasha-gal-97: No, I don't really care. Thank you though. Thank you very much.

Yipster54: I await with baited breath. Be sure to mention it to me when it comes out.

Nikko13: No. But now you know what she is so I can't torture you about it. (Pout)

Monkey Shoes: BRUTAL! Making shoes out of Monkey! EVIIILLLL!!! (Did you know in Japanese your name would be Saru Kutsu or something like that? (Laughs) Saru Kutsu...)

Kitsune Classic: I think you need a cookie just for knowing what a yousei is...


	10. Stories and The Seven Stages of Grief

You know how I said that I wouldn't be updating for three weeks?

Turns out it was only two...

Dammit! I have a term paper to write and three exams to study for! Why the heck am I working on this instead!?

Chapter 9: Stories and The Seven Stages of Grief

Kakashi sat with his back to a large oak tree, book in hand. The combined light from tonight's full moon and the campfire was just enough to make out the tiny print of his book. He'd be able to read a few more chapters of it tonight, leaving the rest for later. He had it all figured out. If he read four chapters a day then he'd be finishing the book just in time to return to Konoha and buy the next instalment of the series. That meant he could read no farther then Chapter 8 tonight and...

He stared at the page he had just turned to, the bolded words reading 'Chapter 20' staring up at him. Sighing he tucked the book away in his pocket. Time to do some recalculations.

"I'm _bored_!" Kajika suddenly shouted, leaping to her feet. She glared at everyone assembled in the clearing. "Don't you ninjas do anything _fun_?"

Sakura glanced up from her _Teen Ninja Monthly_ marking her spot (Does he like you? Fifteen simple ways to know the truth). "I brought cards. Do you want to play something?"

"Know poker?"

_Only one chapter a night? Barbaric..._ "No strip poker."

"What's the point then!?" Kajika whined, glaring daggers at Kakashi. "I doubt any of you have the money to make it interesting..."

"Maa... Probably not," Kakashi agreed, smiling at her.

Kajika pouted. "What do you ninjas do at night for fun?"

"Sleep."

"We could tell stories," Mitsuki suggested, looking up for the first time in hours. Ever since Kakashi had lifted her off of Kajika's back she had been staring into the fire, watching it's flames swirl in the chill night air. Kakashi had actually pulled her back a full foot without her noticing, protecting her from the sputtering grease the squirrels had dripped. Then she had refused to eat, Sakura and Kajika taking her side and forcing Kakashi to leave her alone. He'd done so fairly compliantly. After all, Mitsuki was a girl, Sakura and Kajika were girls... They should know best.

"What kind of stories?" Naruto asked, looking interested.

"Ghost stories!"

"Any type of story," Kakashi corrected. Mitsuki was starting to dazedly stare into the fire again... "Why don't you start, Mitsuki-chan?"

Mitsuki looked at him, blushing slightly. "Watashi? Ano... Demo..."

"You thought of it."

Looking thoughtful, she absently nodded as she shifted to sit cross legged. Smiling softly she began; "This is the story of The Fish Thief"

"Oooh! I like this one!"

"Kajika... Shhh."

"Once, on a cold winter's day, a fisherman had caught a number of fish through a hole in the ice. He had loaded them on his sled and was returning home. A fox saw them, and since he liked fish so much, and since he was so very hungry, he determined to get steal some of the fish.

"He ran ahead of the sled a short distance, then, laying down in the road, he pretended as though he was dead. The fisherman came along, saw him, and, wanting a fox skin to make a cap with, picked up the fox, supposing it's ruse was true. He threw it on the sled and drove on home with his load of fish.

"When the fisherman wasn't looking, the fox took one of the fish and replaced it with a stone so the fisherman would not notice the load's being lighter. He then jumped off and ran into the forest.

"As he was in the forest eating the fish, a bear came by. 'Where did you get the fish?' he asked.

"'I caught it.'

"'I'd like to catch a fish like that.'

"'Well, I'll tell you the secret of catching fish,' said the fox, seeing mischief to be made. 'You go on down this trail and you'll come to the river. The river is frozen over, but there is a round hole in the ice. You stick your tail down the hole and leave it there for a while. The fish will come and grab hold of it; then you haul up your tail along with the fish so you will have caught one.'

"The bear happily ran off and found the hole in the ice. He stuck his tail in. He waited patiently for a fish to take hold of it. Finally he felt as though something had fastened onto it. 'That must be a big fish which has grabbed my tail!' he cried. 'Ah, what a feast I'll have!' He gave his tail a jerk. Feeling something break, he fell face forward and rolled over and over across the ice. Wondering what could have happened, he looked around and saw his tail, torn off at the roots and stuck fast in the ice."

Kajika grinned, her feet waving in the air as she lay on her stomach. "That's such a great story..." she said, sighing dreamily. "You know, Kaa-san always told me that Uncle Haru was the fox in that story."

"Me next, me next!" Naruto shouted, waving his arm. Unchallenged he thought for a moment then began. "Three men, Higo, Satsuma, and Mino, went on a pilgrimage to Ise. At Ise they stopped at an inn to eat ramen, but couldn't decide on who should sit in the place of honour. I guess the person who sat there got the best ramen or somethin..."

"Baka," Sakura growled. "They wanted the honour, not the ramen..."

"Anyway, they fought for while then decided to start a tall tale contest to see who got to eat the best ramen. So... ano... They picked an order and... ano sa, ano sa... They decided to have a ramen eating contest instead!"

"This is the worst story ever."

"Shut up Sasuke! I don't see you doing any better!"

"Heh, like I would tell a stupid story to you, dobe."

"Take that back you!"

Kakashi glanced at Mitsuki. During Naruto's story she had begun to zone out again. He smiled, deciding to change that. "Quiet down," he ordered Naruto and Sasuke. He smiled again. "Guess I'm next... Let's see... Let's see... Long ago in a certain place there was an old woman. One day, when the weather was nice, she took a large stoneware jar to the river to wash it. She squatted down to wash the jar, and her 'important place' was showing-"1

"Kakashi-san!" Mitsuki gasped, hitting Kakashi. She glared at him. "There are children here!"

"Maa... It's not that dirty a story... Fine... A rather stupid son in law went to visit in parents in law for the first time. Incidently this was also the first time he ever had to sleep on a traditional pillow as well. Because of the pillow his head felt so funny he couldn't sleep. 'What is this thing anyway?' he asked his wife. It being late, the wife thought he was asking her what her name was and replied; 'It is Okoma.'

Well, the next morning the whole family was eating breakfast with each other. The son in law said, "Wow, I didn't catch a wink of sleep last night. I tried to get on okoma, but when I pushed her-"2

"_Kakashi!!_"

"Nani?" Kakashi asked, looking at Mitsuki slyly from the corner of his eye. Kajika rolled around on the ground laughing hysterically.

"You... Kids... Dirty..." Mitsuki sputtered, blushing furiously. "Don't tell dirty stories!"

"You only think they're dirty because you don't listen to it all."

"No more dirty stories!"

"Maa Maa... Long ago a priest and an acolyte were going on a journey. On the way the acolyte had to pee very badly but-"

"_KAKASHI_!"

"It's not dirty, I promise! _But_ every time he went to the side of the road to do his business the priest stopped him saying that there was a _kami_ (god) there. Finally, fed up, and unable to hold it any longer, the acolyte began to pee on the priest's head.

"'What are you doing!?' the priest demanded.

"'There is no _kami_ (hair) on your head, so it's alright,' he said and kept on urinating."3

Naruto and Kajika laughed hysterically at the end of this tale while Sakura and Sasuke stared at him blankly, clearing wondering why their teacher had told them such an odd story. Mitsuki glared at him, her face red. "Kakashi!" she growled.

Kakashi smiled at her. "You're right... rather dull... I know, I'll tell the story of the three women who used their 'important place' to-"

"Bed time!" Mitsuki briskly announced, grabbing Naruto and Sasuke and hauling them away towards their shelters. "Ne, I'm tired, aren't you two?"

"No way!."

"Hmph."

"Thought so." Depositing Naruto on his mattress of leaves she gently kissed him on the forehead before dragging Sasuke to his shelter and doing the same. "Goodnight," she said, smiling fondly, despite the fact that both of the teenage boys were resolutely ignoring the fact that they had been babied in any way shape or form. Sakura was a bit better, accepting a hug before curling up on her leaves for the night.

As for Kajika, she took one look at the shelters glanced at the sky and decided to go sleep in her den for the night. Humans may be stupid enough to sleep out in the open, but as for her she was going to enjoy her nice, warm den. "See ya!" she shouted, vanishing away in a swirl of fog and leaves.

Mitsuki nodded her goodbye, walking over to the fire. Kneeling down, she collapsed the fire, stacking it in a way that wouldn't produce much light, but would protect the coals so that tomorrow's breakfast fire would be easy to start. "Ow!" she gasped, burning a finger on an ember.

Kakashi stepped in, moving the last log into place. "Let me see it."

Mitsuki shook her head, sucking on the finger.

"Mitsuki..."

She sighed, holding out her hand. "It's fine."

Kakashi nodded. She probably wouldn't even get a blister. "Let me check it in the morning, just to be sure."

Mitsuki glared at him, anger swelling inside of her. "It's fine," she repeated, standing and stalking to her sleeping bag.

"Oi, Mitsuki-chan."

"What is it Kakashi?"

"Don't I get a goodnight kiss too?"

Mitsuki turned to look at him. She blinked at the almost comical way he was holding his arms out, his head tilted to one side. "You..." she growled, a smile threatening to cross her lips. Finally, she laughed quietly, the anger vanishing. "You..." she giggled. Shaking her head she slipped into her sleeping bag and closed her eyes, still smiling.

Sitting down at the base of his large oak, Kakashi leaned against the tree, bowing his head and closing his eyes. The strangest things seemed to anger Mitsuki, equally strange things depressing her. Perhaps she was remembering some rather painful things from her past? But then, the aura she had when she was angry... He'd felt it before when he'd left her behind to follow Anko to the destroyed memorial. Before, he'd thought it had been a figment of his imagination, worries over what he'd find at the memorial... And then the power she'd had when she'd hit Gai away from her. She'd sent the man through a wall when she couldn't move any of his furniture to vacuum under it.

Well, he'd just have to keep an eye on her, watch for the things that set her off. Shifting slightly, he dozed off, all his senses fully aware for any danger that may have lurked in the forests at night.

-

-

A few days passed, each day a pleasant cycles of hunting and eating followed by stories late into the night. And then... each morning... a new song...

"Wake up sleepyheads!  
It's dawn time, get out of bed!  
'Fore the kappa comes along  
Ships your kidneys to Hong Kong..."

Mitsuki glanced up from the fire she was tending. "Hong Kong?"

Kajika stopped singing a moment, nodding resolutely. "Hong Kong." Twirling around, she flopped onto a sleeping Naruto and continued on to her next verse.

"Naruto open your eyes  
Just for that I'll give you pies!  
Eat them fast then run away  
'Fore fat ol' Sasuke comes to play!"

"Sasuke-kun isn't fat!" Sakura protested, brushing leaves out of her hair and glaring at the girl.

"Get off!" Naruto protested, shoving Kajika off of him.

Giggling Kajika kissed the boy on the nose before prancing off to dance around a cooking Mitsuki.

"Mean old Sakura is a hag  
Should cover her face with a bag  
Follows Sasuke all around  
Worries that she's gained a pound!"

Before Sakura could start screaming Kakashi looked up from his book. "Maa...That's enough, Kajika-chan. They're up now."

Kajika pouted, clasping her hands in front of her. "Aww... but I have one more verse!"

"About?"

"You of course!"

Sighing, Kakashi looked back at his book There wasn't anything that the fox could say that would upset him, might as well let her finish...

Taking his silence for a go ahead, Kajika sang her last verse.

"Kakashi, he wants a girl  
But his face makes them all hurl  
Poor ol' baba, out of luck,  
Bought a donkey to get a- OOOOWWWW!!!!" Kajika pouted, rubbing the spot where a stone had connected with her head. She glared accusingly at Kakashi. "What'd you do that for!?"

Kakashi ignored her, intently reading his book. Finally, he closed it, got up and walked over to the Kitsune. "Don't spread rumors," he said fondly, patting her on the head.

"You hurt me," Kajika whined, glazing up at him. "Naruto-kun! Kiss it better!!"

Mitsuki frowned as Kajika chased Naruto around the clearing, almost letting their breakfast fall into the fire. "Kakashi-san... Shouldn't you help Naruto-kun?" she asked, watching Kajika tackle Naruto to the ground and rub her face all over the protesting teen's back.

He shrugged. "He has to learn about women someday."

"Demo..." She trailed off gazing into the embers of the fire.

"Demo?" Kakashi prompted.

"Nevermind," Mitsuki sighed, turning the spit. She had wanted to explain to him how different human and kitsune mating was. How humans were supposed to be forever while for a fox it was only a one night stand. How Kajika honestly didn't care one bit for Naruto, she was only interested in the spirit that dwelled within him. That when the time was right she would do anything in her power to help free that creature. She poked at the embers, letting air into an area that had been getting cold. _The thing in Naruto... I don't even know what it is... _she thought to herself. All that she knew that it was powerful... And angry... Not a good combination.

"Breakfast done!?" Kajika shouted in Mituski's ear.

Starled, Mitsuki shrieked and toppled over, Kakashi having to jump to grab her before she fell into the fire. "A-Arigatou," she said shakily, sitting down a few steps away from the flames.

"Don't mention it." He glanced at the meat roasting. "Breakfast," he said, grabbing food for himself and Mitsuki before stepping back and allowing his students to fall in.

Naruto wrinkled his nose at the food. "Squirrel? Again?" He glared at the meat then looked up at his teacher. "Kaka-sensei... Don't we have anything else?"

"Like what?" Sakura snapped, glaring at the blonde boy. "I didn't see you trap anything better."

"We could eat fish!"

"We tried that, dobe," Sasuke growled, finishing his meal. "Remember? We just got wet."

Kajika nodded merrily. "Yup, yup! Remember Naru-kun? That pervert Kakashi took you into the woods to molest you, but I bravely rescued you!"

Kakashi tossed his bones into the bushes and glared at Kajika. "You tackled Naruto into the deepest part of the river."

"You were eyeing him!"

Sasuke glared at her. "Because of your splashing around we couldn't get any fish."

"Do not mock my rescue attempt! Besides, I caught us these squirrels."

"Actually, we ate all the squirrels yesterday. These are rats."

"Eww!" Sakura squeaked, tossing the rat away. "Eeewwwww... Why didn't you tell us that sooner, Kakashi-sensei."

The silver haired man shrugged. "Maybe because I have good news." Kakashi grinned at his team, his one visible eye happily curved. "Pack up everyone! You survived! Now let's go back home."

**Enter the Seven Stages of Grief!  
****Step One: _SHOCK_**

Kajika choked on her rat, then looked up at Kakashi with wide eyes. "WHAT!? You're leaving!? NOW!!!???"

**Step Two: _DENIAL_**

"You're not leaving!!!" Kajika wailed childishly, clinging onto Kakashi's leg. "You're not! You're not! You're not!!!!!!!!"

Expertly, Kakashi pried the girl's fingers from her pants, picking her up and turning her so she'd latch onto a tree instead. "It's been six days," he said, patting the red headed sixteen year old on the head. "We're expected back."

Kajika sniffled, her eyes full of big, wet tears.

Kakashi gazed back impassively.

"NEE-CHAAAN!!" Kajika shouted, bypassing Kakashi to latch onto an easier target. In the form of a two year old she leapt into Mitsuki's arms, seemingly all eyes and tears. "Nee-chan! You're not leaving me!" she wailed, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck. "I don't wanna be alooooooone!!!"

Mitsuki frowned, looking over to Kakashi. "Kakashi-san... we always _could_ stay another-"

"No," Kakashi said firmly deciding to go a head and pack all of Mitsuki's belongings as well. "Hokage-sama is expecting us back."

"Demo..." Mitsuki trailed off sighing. "Gomen, Kajika-chan... We really have to go..."

**Step Three: _BARGAINING_**

Kajika pouted for a moment before leaping across the clearing. "ATTTACK!!!!!"

Naruto blinked as Kajika latched onto his leg, screeching as the fox instantly cut off circulation. "Owowowowowow! My leg! Get off!"

Kajika pulled her hand back, claws extending from her fingertips. "Stay or the leg gets it!"

Kakashi gazed flatly at her, crossing his arms. "Kajika. Look at who you're threatening."

Kajika blinked, glancing up at Naruto. "OH! I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!" she shrieked, grabbing Naruto in a tight embrace, smothering him the cleavage she grew just for the occasion. "I'll never do it again!!!!!"

**Step Four: _FEAR_**

She collapsed to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. " I just... I just don't want you to leave."

"Why?" Sasuke scoffed, glaring at a spot on a tree. "Scared of the dark?"

She sniffled looking up at everyone, a kicked puppy look on her face. "YES!" she shouted, starting to shake.

Kakashi mentally sighed as Sakura and Mitsuki crowded around the Kitsune, trying to sooth the creature. He'd have to pack Sakura's small bag too... Grabbing the poorly hidden framed photo of Sasuke he stuffed it in Sakura's backpack and tossed over where the rest of the packs lay. There, finished. They were ready to go as soon as the fox stopped talking about her seemingly endless list of fears.

"...and I'm scared of thunder and lightning and fires I didn't make and the bear that lives by the hill and butterflies and children and ice cream and I have abandonment issues and I want a cookie and..."

Settling down against a tree he pulled Icha Icha Violence Volumes 1-6 out of his backpack. This could take awhile.

**Step Five: _ANGER_**

Kakashi blinked as his book was savagely ripped away from him, Kajika's finger pointing in his face. "YOU CAN'T ABANDON ME!" she roared at him, fire in her eyes. "I ABANDON YOU!"

"Kajika-chan!" Mitsuki gasped, horrified at the girl's behavior. She grabbed the girl's arm, attempting to drag her away from the ninja.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!!" Kajika shouted, pulling her arm away and glaring at the taller girl. Slowly her shape grew, her teeth lengthen as she became the fox once again, her tails whipping around so fast that they acted like knives, severing everything they touched. "Don't you DARE touch me! If you touch me again I'll... I'll..."

**Step Six: _DESPAIR_**

"....CRY!!!!" Kajika wailed, her horse sized head bowing to bury itself in her red paws. Her tails stopped moving, hanging limply behind her only moving to wipe tears from her giant eyes or to serve as a tissue.

Mitsuki blinked, glancing at Sakura and looking confused. Slowly the two moved forward, embracing the giant fox and petting her silky soft fur. "It's okay," they cooed, looking concerned and warily, wondering what her next mood swing would be. "It's going to be alright."

"It's not going to be alright!" Kajika sobbed, resting her head on Sakura's lap as hot tears rolled down her face. "It's never ever going to be alright again!"

Mitsuki smiled at her reassuringly. "That's not true... Everything's going to be fine... We can always come visit..."

**Step Seven: _ACCEPTANCE_**

Kajika sniffled and blew her nose loudly on the hem of Mitsuki's dress. "Well," she said softly, looking thoughtful. "When you put it that way..." She leaped to her feet, the red headed 16 year old disguise firmly in place. "Yatta! I'm so excited!" she shouted, punching one hand in the air before disappearing in a swirl of smoke and leaves.

Naruto blinked. "Kaka-sensei... What just happened?" he asked, looking at the spot Kajika had once occupied, a confused look on his face.

Kakashi picked up his fallen manga and glanced at the sky. "That Naruto, was the seven stages of grief presented in ten minutes." Putting his books away he smiled at everyone. "Let's go."

-

-

"Konoha!" Naruto cheered seeing his beloved city's skyline in between the dense foliage of the forest. "We're almost there!"

"You didn't figure that out already?" Sasuke asked, glaring at his feet. "Dobe..."

"TAKE THAT BACK YO-"

"Leave him alone, baka!" Sakura shouted, hitting Naruto on the head. She increased her pace, looking annoyed. "So annoying..."

Naruto blinked at her, looking lost. "Eh!? Sakura-chan!!" he called, hurrying after her.

Several feet back Mitsuki glanced up at Kakashi, a worried look on her face. "Do they ever stop fighting?" she asked watching Sakura sucker punch Naruto into a tree.

Kakashi smiled down at her. "Yes, sometimes they sleep."

She frowned. "But isn't that bad? For the team I mean..."

"You would think so, but it's not. They may not look it, but actually they're all rather close." Smiling he closed his one visible eye. "At least they haven't tried to really kill one another yet..."

Mitsuki nodded, adjusting the weight on her back.

"Need any help with that?"

Mitsuki blinked then flushed, glaring up at Kakashi. "Iie! You're carrying everything I brought already, the least I can do is carry the sleeping bag."

"True, but you weren't feeling well a few days ago."

"I wasn't sick."

"Then what was the matter?"

Mitsuki glared at the ground, shuffling her feet. "I was depressed."

Kakashi pretended to innocently inspect the side of the road as he walked. "Why?"

"...I... I guess I-"

"NEE-CHAN!" a familiar, hyper voice shouted, as a red blur hugged Mitsuki from behind. "Ne... You guys sure walk fast," Kajika said pouting. "Did mean Kashi-baba 4 make you hurry, Miki-chan?"

Kakashi mentally sighed, gazing flatly at the Kitsune. "Kajika, what are you doing here?"

Kajika feigned surprise, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. "Didn't you know!? I'm here to play the part of the baby!" she squealed, leaping into Kakashi's arms and transforming so that she looked like an infant. "I'm Miki-chan's love child with a more wealthy, more attractive, and kinder man!"

Kakashi looked down at the red headed infant he was holding and unceremoniously tossed the transformed kitsune over his shoulder. Turning, he gently pulled Mitsuki after him as he walked down the path.

"Child abuser!" Kajika shouted, leaping onto Kakashi's back and wrapping her arms lightly around his neck. She placed her head down by his covered eye, pouting. "Why didn't you wait for me, Kashi-kun?"

Kakashi sighed, grabbing the kitsune's legs so he was holding her piggy back. "Why did you follow?"

Kajika shrugged, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Dunno. Lonely I guess..."

Kakashi nodded slowly following what he guessed was her line of vision. His three genin fighting doggedly as they walked. "I'll speak to the Hokage about it," he sighed, mentally adding the costs of another mouth to his food bill.

"Yatta!" Kajika squealed, hugging the jounin tightly. "You're the best Kakashi-kun!" With that she vanished in a puff only to appear a foot ahead of him so she could run after Naruto and the others.

Kakashi mentally sighed as he watched the overly enthusiastic fox tackle Naruto to the ground. Life just got more hectic. He blinked as he felt Mitsuki's arm loop with his, the shorter girl beaming up at him.

"You're a good person, Kakashi-kun," she said, squeezing his arm in a sort-of hug.

He smirked, looking ahead again. "How old do you think she is?" he asked, watching Kajika run around with Sakura's photo of Sasuke, the pink haired girl shouting as she chased the kitsune.

Mitsuki shrugged, smiling fondly. "Somewhere between two and three hundred," she said calmly. "Kitsunes generally grow a new tail every hundred years."

"So the Kyuubi was somewhere around nine hundred years old?"

Mitsuki shook her head, looking grave. "The Kyuubi was from time immortal," she said, dropping her voice as if telling a great secret. "Kitsune can theoretically live forever, but few ever make it. Most die somewhere around their seven hundredth year... But the Kyuubi... He was conceived before time ever began." She frowned, looking at Naruto's stomach. "And he will remain until time ends." She shivered. "Someone must have done something terrible for the Kyuubi to attack your village..."

Kakashi stored all this information away to discuss with Tsunade. Especially the news that the Kyuubi had attacked for a reason. "In human years, how old is Kajika-chan?" he asked instead. Tsunade would want to hear this as well when she considered whether or not to allow the kitsune to remain in the village.

"Well... assuming that she's around two hundred and fifty... I'd say she's about fourteen now."

_Fourteen, huh?_ Kakashi thought to himself. Gently pulling away from Mitsuki's arm, he strode ahead, Mitsuki following in his wake. Pulling Sakura off of a giggling Kajika he wordlessly returned the pink haired girl's photo and fixed the kitsune with a firm look. "The gate's up ahead," he warned. "Best behavior."

Grinning, Kajika nodded, lunging to latch onto Mitsuki's and Naruto's arms. Humming cheerfully, the fox happily followed Kakashi and the rest of the team through the towering gates of Konoha.

-

-

Tsunade rubbed her temples. "Let me get this straight," she sighed. "You went into the forest and was immediately attacked by a friendly kitsune who stole several items and led you on a wide goose chase before returning them."

"Yes."

"Said kitsune is currently sitting in my lobby."

Kakashi winced a little but nodded. "Yes."

Tsunade checked the crystal ball that Sarutobi had left behind, studying the girl. She looked normal enough... A bit bouncy, and if she was to judge from the look on Naruto's and Mitsuki's faces her grip was good... "She looks harmless enough," she finally said, dismissing the image. "However, she did get the team lost requiring that you go find them."

"Yes."

"At which point you were attacked and captured by..."

"Tengu."

"Ah yes... the Tengu," Tsunade moaned, rubbing her temples again. "And what, pray tell, is a Tengu?"

"Tall, red faced, and having long noses. Kajika and Mitsuki told be later that they were also very good with swords." Mitsuki saying, 'The creators of all forms of martial arts' came to mind, but he decided not to repeat that.

"And the kitsune and Mitsuki were somehow able to convince them to release all of you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure of the specifics, but apparently they knew Mitsuki from elsewhere. They addressed her by her proper last name, Tennyo."

Tsunade's head snapped up. "Tennyo?" she asked, looking surprised. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier!?"

Kakashi smiled. "I forgot..."

Sighing in frustration, Tsunade shook her head, pulling out a sheet of parchment. "Dismissed."

Kakashi blinked, surprised. Tsunade had been questioning him about his mission for an hour and a half and now she was suddenly done? "Hokage-sama.... Is there something that I should know about-"

"Tell the kitsune I want her gone by spring. Dismissed."

Bowing lowly, Kakashi turned and left the room, expectant faces gazing up at him as he shut the door behind him.

"Well?"

"You can stay until spring," Kakashi said, smiling pleasantly.

"YATTA!" Kajika squealed tackling Naruto to the ground and laying her head on his chest. "Oh Naruto-kun," she sighed, playing with the zipper of his coat. "I'll move in with you and we can do XXX and OOO all night long while we-"

Kakashi grabbed the fox off of his student, hauling her up by the back of her clothes until she was on his eye level. "You're staying with me."

Kajika blinked before pouting. "Great... Out of the entire village of Konoha... I get to stay with the child molester... Ow!!"

-

-

-

-

-

1: Want the rest of the story? Here ya go:

Just then, one of the young men of the village came by. The old woman didn't know that her 'important place' was showing so the young man decided to tell her so that everyone wouldn't see it. He knew he shouldn't tell her directly so he said, "Grandmother, you have it out today."  
"Yes, the weather is so nice you know," said the old woman.  
Since she apparently didn't understand what he meant he tried again. "It certainly is big."  
"It's the biggest there is."  
"It's very black."  
"It's been well used."  
The young man gave up and left

2: Rest of story:

"I tried to get on okoma, but when I pushed her, she kept getting away and getting away until I finally got her up next to the wall and got on, then went to sleep."

3: The word for hair and edge is the same word for god (they're all _kami)_ although the kanji is different. So if you ever go to Japan and for whatever reason tell someone there that you like _kami_, be sure you can write out the kanji so they know which kami you're talking about.

4: Calling Kakashi -baba makes him an old woman. Just thought I'd mention that since it's funny and I wanted everyone to know that the suffix was intentional


	11. Christmas in Konoha

_Just a note: I decided to have a time jump to get this story on our world's time line. I mean I could write a chapter a two to fill in the time, but who wants to even think about Christmas in January? So... Think of it as a month or two passing by with peace and nothing interesting happening._

Maa… I'm late… Does anyone care? (Looks around) I don't see a mob…

Chapter 10: Christmas in Konoha

Everyone had their own rituals. For some people it was the order they ate dinner (first the dessert, then the meat, then the rice, then "Mommy, I can't eat the veggies, I'm full"), for others it was the habitual search for company ("Heh heh. Can I watch? It's for reasearch..." SMACK!), while for Kakashi it was the regular trail of keeping his charges out of trouble. Really, it wasn't so hard now that Kajika had calmed down a bit (seeing Naruto every day wasn't that big anymore, that realization had only come after a month and a half), but then...

"Minna-san!" Kakashi said raising his voice a bit and waving his hands in a soothing fashion. "Minna-san! Settle, settle!"

Everyone ignored him. He blinked, realizing that this was what the invisible man must have felt like. Everyone just going on doing their own business, drinking tea, eating these strange looking star and tree shaped, frosted biscuits, talking about some sort of party or celebration that was coming up... Wait. Party?

Kakashi pulled his monthly planner out of his pocket and flipped through the pages until he got to December, scanning the page thoughtfully. It was a week until New Years... Konoha had followed the way of the rest of the modern world several years ago, adopting the day January first as New Year's Day. New Year's was always a big celebration, but it was a little yearly to be this excited about it.

He shut the planner, sticking it back into his pocket. Must be someone's birthday coming up. He frowned, that was no excuse for them to ignore him. "Minna-san!" he called again. This time Mitsuki glanced at him briefly before going back to listen to whatever Sakura and Naruto were cheerfully talking about. _Time for another tactic._ Determining the source of most of the noise, he teleported into the center of the group and covered Naruto's and Kajika's mouths, silencing the two. "Lunch break's over."

Sakura, Naruto and Kajika groaned and flopped over while even Sasuke looked disappointed. "Ano... Kakashi-san," Mitsuki said softly. "Maybe you could give them the rest of the day off?"

Kakashi blinked. "Why?"

"Just give 'em the day off baba!" Kajika shouted, jumping up to hit Kakashi on the head.

Kakashi easily dodged the blow, tripping the fox as she landed and sending her sprawling. "Is something going on?" he asked, looking from one hopeful face to the next.

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve!" Sakura blurted out, her eyes filling with stars. "A night of romance and snow on the ground..."

Kakashi glanced up at the sky. "I don't think it's going to snow by tomorrow, Sakura-chan."

Sakura blushed. "You know what I mean! It's a night to be with the one you love..."

Sasuke humphed, turning so he couldn't see Sakura's hopeful looks. "I need to barricade my house."

"I need (glance at Sakura) to do (glance at Sakura) something... (glance at Sakura) ... Something important! (Glare at Sasuke) You won't win Sasuke!"

"I need to set traps!" Kajika shouted, pumping her fist into the air.

Kakashi stared at her blankly. "Why?"

She lowered her head, a scary look in her eyes. "Santa Claus is coming to town..."

"And I need to go shopping," Mitsuki said raising her hand slightly. "If you like, you can tell me who you give Christmas cakes to and I'll buy them for you Kakashi-san."

Kakashi blinked, crossing his arms. "Christmas cakes?"

Sakura began to look hysterical. "He doesn't know what a Christmas cake is!? Kami, he won't give us the day off then! My Christmas Eve will be ruined!"

Sasuke turned more so he couldn't see Sakura's pleading look. "I really need to barricade my house."

Faced with five pleading faces Kakashi bowed his head and sighed. "Double training the day after tomorrow."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura and Naruto gasped, looking horrified. "That's Christmas Day!"

"Maa... you want three days off now?"

"Two and a half!"

"Fine, fine, get out of here," Kakashi said after a moment. He mentally shrugged as Naruto ran off, a maniac grin on his face. He'd give them hell later.

"So... what's your plans for tomorrow, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, grinning at her true love.

Damn, Sasuke thought to himself. Sakura had gotten up first, that meant it would be harder to get ahead and lose her. Plus he couldn't tell her that he was going to lock himself into his own home, that would just make her want to come over and 'save' him. "... I-"

"Sasuke-kun," Mitsuki said, interrupting the boy. She smiled down at him. "Would you mind helping me with groceries?" she asked, packing away the leftovers from today's lunch.

"Whatever," Sasuke sighed, thankful for the interruption. If he'd had kept on talking he probably would have come up with some sort of lame excuse like he and Itachi had made up and were spending the holiday together... He shuddered at the mere thought of it.

"Ano... Do you need my help too?" Sakura asked, glaring at Mitsuki and yet smiling at her. That bitch had just wrecked her plan to get some time alone with Sasuke!

"No!" Kajika shouted, grabbing Sakura on the arm and looking deeply into her eyes. "I need you!"

"Eh!?"

"You're the virgin sacrifice I need to capture Santa Claus! You'll sit and sing and then Santa will come in, lay his head down on your lap and I'll cut off his magical horn!"

Everyone stared at her.

"What?"

"Santa doesn't have a horn. And that's how you capture a unicorn," Mitsuki said staring at the girl.

Kajika looked thoughtful for a moment. "Unicorn, shmuricon. Let's go Sakura-chan!!" In a flash and a puff of smoke, Kajika dragged a protesting Sakura off towards the looming gates of Konoha.

Sasuke blinked for a moment. "You know... I'm almost grateful..."

Mitsuki smiled at the younger boy. "Come on Sasuke-kun, we better get to the stores before they all close."

Sasuke nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets and following Mitsuki down the hill. After a moment's hesitation, Kakashi pulled out his book and followed. _Hmm... Christmas Cake..._

-

-

Kakashi had always thought hell would be a bit like the time he'd been trapped by Obito's shangrian eye. The endless pain, the feeling of helplessness and shame… Oh how wrong he was… This, this was hell.

Just to his left a girl squealed, gazing up at him wide blue eyes. "Oooohhhhh! It's Kakashi-sama and Sasuke-kun! Oh you two look so _cute_ shopping together!"

Kakashi and Sasuke exchanged glances before looking in the direction where Mitsuki had vanished to. She was coming back for them… right? "Ano sa… Yes, Sasuke and I are helping with a little last minute Christmas shopping," Kakashi said smiling down at the woman. "We're just waiting for a friend to get back."

The woman smiled slyly at them, pursing her lips in what may have been a cute gesture. "So, what did you get your girlfriends?"

Sasuke and Kakashi exchanged looks again. This was a dangerous question. Especially since other girls had heard and were slowly circling in for the kill. "We're ah… not exchanging gifts this year?"

The group of girls that had gathered blinked at Kakashi, staring hard at the silver haired jounin. "WHAT!?" they suddenly shrieked together, looking shocked. "Not exchanging gifts!? Who came up with that stupid idea!?"

"I'll be over here," Sasuke said quietly, turning and leaving.

Kakashi blinked and glared at where his student had been. So, someone wanted more lessons about the importance of not deserting a teammate in distress, huh? "Me?"

The girls all glared at him except for one that began to laugh. "Oh, I get it!" she giggled, batting her eyes at the taller man. "You were just pulling our leg, Kakashi-sama! No girl would ever agree to not exchange gifts at Christmas time. You don't really have a girlfriend now do you?"

The other girls seemed to accept this, coming closer. Without looking Kakashi knew he was now surrounded. He mentally sighed. If he managed to escape without a marriage proposal from someone he'd count himself lucky. "Well, I-"

"CLAUSZILLA!!" a familiar high pitched voice shrieked as a small form barreled into him.

Kakashi glanced down, looking into green eyes. Kajika. Only the fox would go around screaming and have such deep forest green eyes. "Kajika-chan-"

"Clauszilla is attacking Tokyo!" Kajika wailed, clinging to Kakashi. She looked up at him, pathetic looking in her Japanese school girl disguise. "Only you can save us from Clauszilla, Kakshi!"

"…Clauszilla?"

"Hai!"

"What is this Clauszilla?"

Kajika smiled up at him brightly. "Well, I was wrong about Santa's food preferences so when I marinated Sakura-chan in cookie dough ice cream he licked the ice cream off of her instead of eating her whole." She paused for a moment. "You know… that would be kinda fun with-"

"No."

"Meanie. Anywho, due to the preservatives in the ice cream (and the fact that Santa is a Great Force Of Darkness) Santa mutated into Clauszilla! Half whale, half gorilla, _pure toy giving evil!!_"

Everyone stared at her.

"You just made that up!" one of the girls from Kakashi's fan club protested, pointing an accusing finger at the girl.

Kajika shrugged. "Mayyybe. Maybe not…"

"Ne, Kajika-chan, what are you doing here?" Mitsuki asked, her arms full of groceries. She smiled briefly as Kakashi took them from her, before focusing back on the girl. "Weren't you off playing with Sakura-chan?"

She stared blankly at Mitsuki before laughing nervously and rubbing the back of her head. "Oh yeah… Ummm… Sakura-chan had to go home?"

Mitsuki smiled at the younger girl. "Alright then. Kakashi-san, did you want me to buy a Christmas Cake for anyone?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Gai maybe… Anko too. Maybe Asuma and Kurenai?" He shrugged again. "What's a Christmas Cake?"

Mitsuki looked at him blankly. "I don't know really, Sakura-chan assured me that it was a vital part of Christmas though. I'll go ask Sasuke-kun if he knows."

Kakashi waited until Mitsuki was out of earshot before turning back to the fox. She smiled up at him innocently. "Ne, Kajika-chan, I better not hear anything about Sakura-chan having gone missing."

Kajika shrugged. "I'll let her go after New Years."

"You mean now."

"New Years."

"Now."

"Christmas?"

"You'll be grounded."

Kajika glared at him then nodded. "Now," she agreed poofing away.

Mitsuki returned with a sullen Sasuke in tow. "Sasuke-kun says Christmas Cake isn't important."

"Then forget about it." He shoved most of the groceries into Sasuke's arms, ignoring the self pitying look the boy had on his face. "What's for dinner?"

"Would you like soba,1 yakizakana,2 or curry?"

Kakashi remembered his fan club long enough to briefly wave at them before walking off, following Mitsuki as Sasuke trailed behind. "Maa, we have enough food for all that?"

"Well, the holidays are coming up and Kajika-chan does eat a lot…"

"Sou desu ne… Well, what do you think Sasuke-kun?"

"Me? I…"

The girls who had been surrounding Kakashi stared blankly as the man vanished from their sight. Glancing over at each other they exchanged bewildered looks. "What just happened?"

"What's a Clauszilla?"

"Who was that person?"

Sadly, their questions would forever go unquestioned.

-

-

Blissfully unaware of everything, Kakashi sat in his living room peacefully reading Jiraiya's newest book. He'd have to be careful about reading it though. The next installment of the series was due next month so he could only read a chapter a day to last him until...

The evil words 'To Be Continued' stared up at him as Kakashi gazed blankly at the book. Had he really been so careless and read the entire book already? What sort of sick running joke was this? Sighing deeply he stood, stretching. He blinked, happening to glance down.

"What are you doing Kajika?"

Kajika grinned up at him, pleased that the stupid ninja had finally realized that she'd been staring at him for the last hour. "Nothin'!" she said smiling.

"Alright then."

"But haven't you noticed what a nice night it is tonight?" she added quickly, jumping up from her crouched position and pointing to one of the windows. "Look at that moon. Isn't it huge?"

Kakashi looked out the window. The night was rather bright, but it had nothing to do with the moon. "The moon's waxing," he said, turning to gaze blankly at Kajika. "It's almost new."

Kajika sweatdropped. "Yeah... but... Look! Look at all the people outside! It must be a nice night out if everyone is out and about!"

It was true. There were more people out then ususal. He glanced at the thermostat hung outside his window. "It's below freezing," he said turning back to the fox. "They must all be mad."

"While that may be true, it could also mean that Christmas Eve is tomorrow!"

Kakashi sighed, sitting back down on the couch. "Ma, I already gave everyone the day off. What more do you want?"

Kajika leaped up next to him, fondly laying her head on his shoulder. Kakashi brushed her off. "It's not what I want, it's what you want!" she said brightly, smiling at him.

"Sou desu ka? What do I want?" he asked, not sure he wanted the answer.

"Help with girls!"

"…Honto ni?"

"Yup! I saw you today! Surrounded by pretty girls, without the slightest clue on what to do with them all! Well, never fear, Kashi-kun, Kajika-nesan is here!"

Kakashi sighed, leaning back onto the couch. _Might as well listen to get this out of her system,_ he thought.

Kajika grinned at her victim's lack of protests, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged on the couch. She cleared her throat. "Well, before I can begin I have to get into the proper male mindset, so let me ask you a couple of rhetorical questions." A large pad of paper and pencil appeared in her hand. "One, let's say (rhetorically of course) that there's these two girls and a boy. The boy likes one of the girls, but she doesn't like him. On the other hand, the other girl likes the boy, but can't get his attention. What do you think that this other girl should do to get the boy's attention?"

Kakashi blinked, staring at her. _Kami…_ She was asking him for boy advice? _Wonderful…_ "I suppose-"

"I haven't gotten to the options yet!" Kajika snapped, her fangs flashing in the light. "Okay, option A, the girl meekly allows the boy to mate with this other girl in hopes that he'll choose her next season. B, she kills the girl in front of the male to prove her strength and determination. C, she waits until the male has mated and pups have been born then she goes and smothers the pups to show the male how infertile his choice was. D, she jumps the male. Or E, she goes and finds a new male, sending him to kill both her rival and her old favorite for their territory."

Kakashi stared blankly at her.

Kajika beamed at him. "Well? I was thinking B or D."

He stuck a finger in her face. "Naruto is not a kitsune."

"But he has the Kyuubi in him!"

"He is not the Kyuubi." He blinked. "And how did you know about that?"

Kajika rolled her eyes. "I could smell him, duh. That boy reeks of wonderful, bloody, and dangerous chakra… Mmmm…"

"He's not the Kyuubi."

"So? The Kyuubi's inside of him. I have to impress him so that when he gets out he may choose me as his consort."

Kakashi glared at her, slowly reaching for a kunai. "The Kyuubi isn't going to get out."

"I know that the one who sealed him is dead," Kajika said softly, grinning up at Kakashi with a predatory look. "No one would know how to do it again."

His hand gripped the tiny weapon tightly. If the girl so much as blinked wrong he'd plunge the kunai straight into her throat. "We would."

"You mean you would?" Her fangs were lengthening, her eyes glowing faintly. "I've seen that picture, I know who taught you."

They both tensed as if to attack each other. Kakashi thought about it, if he moved now would she be able to react in time? Would she flee or dodge? If she dodged would she be able to hit him? If she fled where would she run to? Kajika was thinking on similar terms only she was wondering how good human blood tasted. She had never eaten a human before and honestly had heard that they tasted like dog dung and mud. Maybe she could rip his throat out with her claws instead of her teeth? That would make a bigger mess though and she didn't want Mitsuki to have to clean up _that_ much blood…

"Kajika-chan, bedtime," Mitsuki said brightly from the entryway. She pointedly ignored the tenseness of the two, but didn't enter the room. "It's ten thirty. Bedtime, Kajika-chan."

Kajika extended her claws. "In a minute."

If she fled would she grab Mitsuki and use her as a shield? Would Mitsuki try to protect the fox?

"Now, Kajika-chan," Mitsuki said, her voice harsher and her tone demanding. "Go to bed."

He was really too close for a good attack. He should jump to his feet first.

"Not now, Miki…"

The fox was going to move. He had to attack before those claws or teeth could get to him. Kakashi leaped to his feet as Kajika surged forward, claws extended for the place he'd been a moment before.

A rush of cold wind blasted through the room as Mitsuki pointed down the hall. "Bed!" she shouted, glaring pointedly at Kajika. "Now!"

Kajika dodged Kakashi's attack, poofing away to stand before Mitsuki. "Fine!" she shouted, stalking down the hall.

Mitsuki waited until the door slammed before walking up to Kakashi, glaring at him. "Don't you _dare_ harm her," she growled, making a grab for the kunai in his hand. Instinctively, Kakashi pulled it away but managed to stop himself from countering and striking her. She glared at him harder, sticking a finger in his face. "If you or anyone else in this village kills another kitsune you'll all be destroyed," she hissed lowly.

Kakashi glared down at her. "It that a threat?" he asked coldly, his grip on the kunai tightening.

"No, it's common sense. Why do you think the Kyuubi came?" Without waiting for a reply or even some sign that he'd heard, Mitsuki nodded to him politely. "Goodnight, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi nodded back, turning to pull his futon out from where he'd stuck it under the coffee table. _Kill another Kitsune?_ he thought to himself, unfolding the mattress. _'Why do you think the Kyuubi came?'_ If the Kyuubi had come in response to them killing a Kitsune, another fearsome beast would come if Kajika was harmed… But when had someone killed the kitsune that had brought the Kyuubi?

He turned off all the lights and lay down with all his clothes on, pulling the covers up to his waist. Why had the Kyuubi come? Honestly, he'd never thought about that before. It had just appeared and started destroying everything one day… If there had been a reason… He sighed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't going to get a wink of sleep tonight…

-

-

Kajika stared at the ball in her hand, then at the slumbering form of Kakashi, then at the ball again. She was still furious about last night. Not only had the stupid bastard attacked her, but then the stupid bitch had given her a lecture and then _cuddled_ with her for _comfort._ Kajika refused to admit that the cuddling had made her feel better (it had reminded her of when she'd been living in her mother's den). She wasn't a teddy bear, dammit! _And_ somehow that stupid bitch had managed to get her to promise that she wouldn't attack Kashi again!

She glanced back up at Kakashi. She was ticked, he was sleeping. Winding up, she threw the ball at his head, blinking in surprise as a hand automatically came up to stop the ball from hitting him. At the same moment a kunai flew at her head. She dodged the weapon as Kakashi blinked at the ball, both of them watching the kunai strike a kitchen cupboard.

Kajika turned to glare at Kakashi. "Morning," she said after a moment, turning to get some cereal for breakfast.

Kakashi threw the ball, hitting the fox on the back of the head. "Morning."

Kajika rubbed the back of her head, but decided not to say anything. "Want cereal?" she asked from the kitchen, silently emptying the sugar bowl and looking for the salt. Kakashi put enough sugar on his cereal to kill a three year old. Salt would teach him some manners.

"Mitsuki up?"

"Nope."

"Great. Let's have waffles."

"Waffles? Why wouldn't she let us have that?" The ball was at her feet. She rolled to over towards where Kakashi was walking in.

Instead of stepping on the ball Kakashi kicked it, hitting Kajika in the stomach. Opening the freezer he began searching through it. "It's the frozen kind," he explained looking for the box. "With Mitsuki, everything has to be home made."

Kajika frowned, remembering the fuss she'd made about cereal. He was right. She picked up the ball, throwing it as hard as she could at the freezer door.

The door hit him hard, the ninja rubbing his neck and glaring at the ice tray as he grabbed the box. "Where's the toaster?"

"Probably down he-REEEEEEE!" she shrieked as she tripped on the ball Kakashi had nudged her way, falling down onto her behind.

Kakashi grabbed the toaster, plugging it in and sticking two frozen waffles into it. "I hope we have whipped cream…" he muttered going to rummage around in the fridge. "Hmm… No whipped cream, but we have heavy whipping cream…" He stared at the carton of cream. "Oi, Kajika-chan, how do you whip cream?"

Kajika opened up a drawer and pulled out a whisk. "With this," she said throwing the whisk at his head. She opened a cupboard and threw a bowl at him too.

Kakashi caught the whisk, but the bowl landed on his head. "Now what?" he asked pulling the bowl off and pouring the cream into it.

Kajika shrugged. "I dunno. Whip it. Where's the maple syrup?"

"Fridge. You'll need to microwave it." He tripped her as she walked by, happily whipping the cream.

Kajika removed the lid from the syrup, throwing it at Kakashi before putting the bottle in the microwave. "How long?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Minute, maybe two…"

"Why do you want whipped cream?" Kajika asked, turning to stare at the happy jounin.

"It's good," he said simply, looking at the cream curiously. "It's getting sort of stiff."

"You're turning it into butter."

"Oh." Kakashi stopped whipping it, setting it down on the table instead. He walked over to the toaster, waiting for it finish.

They stared at each other from across the room.

Sighing, Kajika opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when the microwave beeped and the toaster popped up the waffles. "Want the first ones?" Kakashi asked, putting the waffles onto a plate and offering them to her.

"They poisoned?"

"Only a little."

Kajika smiled, taking the waffles and pouring a healthy dose of maple syrup on them. Sitting down at the table she ate about half of one before looking back up at him. "Oi, I promised Miki that I wouldn't help the Kyuubi out," she said quietly, playing with her fork. "Thought you should know since you're so damn worried about it."

Kakashi nodded, grabbing his own waffles from the toaster, drowning them in maple syrup and then putting a huge glob of whipped cream on it. "What brought that on?"

"Miki. She didn't like us fighting. All night she was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Don't fight. Blah, blah. Naruto is his own person. Blah, blah. Are you sleeping?"

"Naruto _is_ his own person."

She stuffed another huge bite of waffle in her mouth. "Yah, so?"

The waffles gone, Kakashi stood, bringing his dish over to wash it. "So I'd choose option F, let him see you as yourself and not as someone who wants the Kyuubi."

"But I _want_ the Kyuubi."

"Then don't pursue Naruto."

Kajika pouted, stuffing the rest of the waffle into her mouth. Standing, she joined Kakashi at the sink. "So you humans live how long now, hundred, two hundred years?"

Kakashi handed her a dish to dry. "Thirty is the average life expectancy for a ninja. Fifty if you're good, sixty or seventy if you're real good."

Kajika winced, setting the now dry dish down. "Wow. I promise that when you die I won't dance on your grave…" She trailed off looking thoughtful. "I can wait that long I guess… Can I still bother him though?"

"Why not?"

She smiled at him brightly. "You know, Kashi, you're not half bad."

"Keep drying."

"Bastard. So what are you and Miki planning on doing today? It's Christmas Eve after all… The hotels are supposed to have great deals this season! The hour hotels are even cheap- OW!" She glared at the ball which bounced away. "How'd you do that?"

"Ninja secret. I was planning on just relaxing at home."

"Boring!!! At least take her out for dinner…"

"Take who out to dinner?" Mitsuki asked, yawning as she entered the room. Blinking she stared at the two people washing and drying dishes. "What are you doing?"

"Washing dishes."

She stared at them. "You know how?"

"And that's my cue to go!" Kajika said brightly, waving as she ran for the door. She'd hid the fact that she knew how to cook and clean from Mituski for over a month now, she wasn't going to get tied into cleaning now. "I'm leaving!" she shouted, the front door slamming behind her.

"Be safe," Mitsuki and Kakashi both called. Mitsuki turned to Kakashi and smiled. "You want breakfast?"

"Already eaten." Sighing, Kakashi began wandering toward the living room when he heard an unattractive pealing noise. The phone? He'd almost forgotten he had a phone since no one ever called him. "Moshi moshi," he said picking up the receiver.

"Err…" The voice on the other end was familiar, but Kakashi couldn't put a face to it. Instantly, the voice more nasal, as if the speaker had pinched their nose. "Err… Mitsuki please."

He blinked. It wasn't as if the whole village of Konoha knew that Mitsuki was staying with him. In fact, only a few were supposed to know about her. So why was someone calling her and why was this same person disguising their voice? Mentally shrugging, Kakashi set down the phone. "Mitsuki-chan, telephone," he said pointing towards the phone and then heading to the living room. He sat and began to read, watching Mitsuki over the rim of his novel to gauge her reaction to the phone call.

Mitsuki walked up to the phone looking confused. Clumsily she picked up the phone and put it up to her ear. "Hello?"

Kakashi smirked under his mask. "You have the phone upside down, Mitsuki-chan."

Mitsuki blinked. "Oh. H-Hello?" she said again, turning the phone around. Her face lit up. "Oh! Good morning G-" She stopped, looking puzzled. "Why?" A long pause. "Ohhhh," she said looking at Kakashi with an almost nervous look on her face. She turned around so her back was to Kakashi, cupping her hand around the receiver.

Kakashi stopped pretending to read and watched her. Great. The fox was off ravaging Konoha (probably) and now the girl was up to something.

"Mmmhmm… Okay… Really? … Mmmhmm… Alright then! See yo- I mean… Yes… Yes… Got it! Talk to you later then!" Mitsuki hung up the phone, smiling brightly and humming.

"Who was that?"

Mitsuki started at the sound of her voice, whirling around. Weakly, she smiled at him. "Wrong number?"

"Mitsuki…"

She looked at him for a moment then smiled at him brightly. "Ne, Kakashi-san, I'd tell you but it's a secret!"

He could deal with secrets… He'd been taught how to torture them out of people. Wondering what he'd have to tell Tsunade to justify him (at least) tying Mitsuki up he settled back for a relaxing Christmas Eve

-

-

-

-

-

Christmas is not a big deal in Japan. If anything it's a holiday for couples to go to dinner and hotels with each other. That and give really little kids presents. Wow, wish that was how my Christmas was like…

1. Soba- It's a noodle dish usually served in a soup. Really, really, really good. Try it.

2. Yakizakana- Grilled fish. I've never tried it because I can't get over the fact that the fish usually still has it's head attached. Heard it's good though.


	12. New Year Celebrations

I have over 50 reviews… I think that scares me…

YES! On time!

Chapter 11: New Years Celebrations

"Kashi!!" Kajika bellowed, running down the hallway. "Where's my tabi1!?"

Kakashi didn't even glance up from his spy novel. "Dresser." He frowned. It was another two weeks until Jiraiya's new book came out and nothing he tried could replace the trill that the romance novels brought. Although this 007 fellow was a very interesting ninja…

"Miki!"

"It's laid out on the bed," Mitsuki said soothingly, frowning at a package of mochi. "Ne, wouldn't it be better to just pound our own mochi, Kajika?"

"Just grill it,2" Kajika sighed, grabbing Mitsuki's hand. "Now come on! I need your help getting it on!"

"Hai, hai. Kakashi-san, would you-"

Kakashi raised a hand in acknowledgement. "On it," he said, setting his book aside and going into the kitchen to watch the pots. He had no idea what Mitsuki was cooking. Shortly after Christmas, Kajika had vanished only to return bearing gifts. She'd brought package after package of food, some strange smelling herbs, fireworks, and two winter kimonos with all the trappings. When he'd asked her where she had gotten all of these things she'd smiled and told him the whole two hour story over dinner. None of her story made sense though. Giant spiders? Fire spirits? A kind gardener with only one leg? Puzzling. Simply puzzling.

"I'm gonna be late!" Kajika wailed, hurrying as quickly as she could in the tight kimono.

"Matte! Matte!" Mitsuki ordered, grabbing the girl. "I still need to do your hair."

Kakashi glanced over at the two, watching as Mitsuki fastened the fox's hair up in leaf shaped pins. Her green kimono fit perfectly, the leaf design done in gold with swirling gold wind swirling about. Her obi was a bright red, the colour of her hair, giving her an impish look. Seeing the jounin looking at her she stuck her tongue out and smiled. "How do I look?"

Kakashi turned back to the pots. "Okay."

Kajika frowned, studying herself. "Okay!? I only look okay!? I knew the colours were all wrong! Kumo Baa-san wanted it to match my fur and eyes but I wanted… Miki!!"

Mitsuki smiled at the girl, soothing away her fears. "You look absolutely lovely, Kajika. You'll be stealing the hearts of all the boys there. Now hurry up or you'll be late meeting Sasuke and the others," she said handing her a handbag. "Get on your sandals and go."

"Thanks Miki-chan!" Kajika beamed up at her, slipping into the geta sandals. "Don't let Kashi keep you trapped in here all night!"

"Say hello to the team and all their friends for me."

"I will! I'm leaving!"

"Be safe!" both Kakashi and Mitsuki called as the door slammed shut. Mitsuki smiled for a moment before suddenly gasping and running to the door. "Kajika-chan! You forgot your michiyuki!3"

Kajika gave a groan, sounding annoyed, but ran back and slipped into the red coat. "Bye!"

"Be safe!" Mitsuki said again, gently shutting the door. Smiling widely she walked into the kitchen and took over the cooking again. "This is so exciting, Kakashi-san," she laughed, smiling. "This is my first New Year celebration in a town! I'll get to hear the bells!"

Kakashi smiled at her, his one visible eye curving happily. "Maa, you're going to drag me to a temple aren't you?"

She smiled up at him cheerfully. "Of course! You better get your kimono out so I can get the wrinkles out."

Kakashi laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, you see, I don't own a kimono, Mitsuki-chan."

"Nani!?" Mitsuki gasped, turning around. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Kakashi-san? Kajika-chan would have gotten you one from Kumo Baa-san.4"

Kakashi grinned at her sheepishly. "Maa… It's not that big of a deal, Mitsuki-chan, ninjas don't really do holidays."

"Really? What do you do then?"

"Mostly sit around and read…"

Mitsuki frowned, turning back to her pots. "That doesn't sound very fun…" She took the smallest pot off the gas burner, opening it and smelling it's contents. "Mmm… Well, this is done…" Carefully, she placed the kuromame5 in a large obento box before setting the box in the refrigerator. "Now to start the namasu…" she muttered to herself.

Kakashi took in the many pots and pans, the growing amount of food in the refrigerator and decided that he didn't like where this was going. "Maa… What are you making all this food for?" he asked, having a sneaking suspicion that the phone call from the week before had something to do with it.

"I'm making enough food to last us the whole festival," Mitsuki said innocently, glancing over her shoulder to smile at him. "We need enough to last four days."

He didn't believe that innocent look for a moment. Well, whatever Mitsuki was planning couldn't be worse then what he usually got dragged into. Usually Gai and Anko had shown up by now and had dragged him into a local bar to get drunk.

Mixing up the radish and carrot, Mitsuki topped the salad she had made with them and placed the second tier of the obento box into the fridge. "Done!" she said cheerfully, wiping off her knife. Humming cheerfully, she opened a cupboard door rummaging through it. "Eeh? Kakashi-san, we don't have any rice left!"

Kakashi glanced up from his book. "So?"

"So if we don't have any rice then we can't make the proper offerings to the household gods and we'll have bad luck for the new year!"

Kakashi blinked and decided to go back to his book.

"Kakashi-san!"

"Yes?"

"Would you-"

"We'll do fine without the rice, Mitsuki-chan."

"But what about breakfast? We can't eat cereal during New Years! We can't anger our household god either." She hauled Kakashi to his feet. "You only need to go to the corner grocers."

Kakashi sighed, tucking his book into his pocket. "Fine, fine. Is rice all that we need?"

Mitsuki thought for a moment. "Let me make a list."

He sighed again, accepting the list and heading for the front door. "We don't even live in a house," he pointed out, slipping on his shoes.

"Be sure you get everything," Mitsuki said, smiling at him brightly.

"I don't even own an alter."

"Bye Kakashi-san! Be safe!"

Sighing once more, Kakashi muttered an 'I'm leaving,' before shutting the door behind him.

Mitsuki beamed down at the tiny spirit who was clinging to her apron. "Don't worry Hotei-sama, we'll have a proper holiday celebration."

The big bellied household god smiled up at her then vanished in a gust of strong wind that blew through the apartment, decorating it. Smiling, Mitsuki went back to the kitchen and turned down the heat on the pot that contained tonight's dinner. Then, still smiling, she retired to the bathroom to get a shower in before the guests arrived.

-

-

The chuunin glared at the five men suspiciously, but nodded to them, handing their passbooks back to them. "Everything seems to be in order," he said gesturing for his comrade to open the gate. "Enjoy your stay in Konoha."

The man with the golden hair and the glowing eyes smiled at him smugly. "Thank you," he said pleasantly, pulling his fur coat tight. "We will."

-

-

Kakashi wandered down his street, grocery bag in one hand and book in the other. This was turning out to be a strange New Years. He'd been forced to travel across town to find the rice Mitsuki had wanted (all the local stores had been sold out) but he hadn't been attacked by any of his fellow jounin yet. Usually, he couldn't step a foot out of his apartment before he was attacked by someone claiming he needed to join the group in a drink. _Suspicious,_ Kakashi thought to himself, turning his book's page with his thumb. _Very suspicious._

"So where to now?" a familiar voice asked from just around the corner. Kakashi heard the voice, smelled the cigarette smoke, and vanished, reappearing a block away on a tree branch just outside his apartment window. He glanced down, watching as Asuma, Genma Anko, Kurenai, and Gai walked down the street, Anko's face already red from sake.

"New place," Kurenai sighed, staring into space. Really, drinking wasn't her thing… So why did she go with everyone year after year and get drunk? She shook her head. She didn't know the answer to that question.

"Anybody seen… You know… that other guy?" Anko asked, swaying a bit.

"Who, Kakashi?" Genma asked.

"Yeah, him…"

"Ah, my great eternal rival!" Gai sighed, grinning widely. "Today I will show him that my New Years gift will be the most practical and useful item he will ever use!" he crowed, thrusting a wrapped package into the air. "The score will soon be 52 to 5_3_ my friend!"

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head. So they were on their way to collect him were they? Well, not this year. This year he refused to wake up hungover in Gai or Asuma's bathtub with no recollection to how he'd gotten there. This year he was going to stay sober! The grocery bag rustled slightly in the wind reminding Kakashi of one important fact he'd forgotten… Mitsuki…

He mentally shrugged. He'd just have to take the girl with him, wouldn't he? She'd been talking about wanting to see all the temples decked out in their New Year finery... He'd just take her to see them earlier then expected. They could eat out, go to one of the temples and watch the ceremonial ringing of the bells, buy a good luck charm, and pray before the masses came to do it on New Years Day. Kajika was supposed to be attending a sleepover at Sakura's house so they could stay out late. The outing might even be fun…

If he got them out of the apartment before the others arrived…

Jiggling the latch, Kakashi opened the apartment window and slipped inside. Great, now all he had to do was collect Mitsuki and make their esca-

"Kakashi!!" Mitsuki shrieked, pulling her kimono tight and whirling around so her back was to the silver haired ninja. "What are you doing!?"

Kakashi politely turned and covered his eyes. Really, with the traditional undergarments on he couldn't see a thing. Although, it seemed he wouldn't be able to point that out to her considering how red her face was turning. "Ano… Need help tying your obi?" he asked politely.

It was obviously not an answer she was looking for. "Kakashi!" she shrieked again, throwing a hair brush towards him. "Get out!"

Shrugging, Kakashi exited the room, gently shutting the door behind him. Women. They were so fickle. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Mitsuki naked or anything. And she had been wearing more then the time Sakura and Kajika had managed to drag her to the swimming pool at the public gym. That actually had been rather fun… The cool water and the crisp fall air… The sparkling water as the girls got into a water fight with the boys…

By his calculations he had five minutes before the others arrived. _Damn,_ Kakashi thought to himself, turning off the stovetop and collecting Mitsuki's shoes and coat. With Mitsuki still changing escape was looking iffy at best and…

The bedroom door opened, a flushing Mitsuki stepping out. In one hand she was holding her silver obi while the other hand was tightly holding her midnight blue kimono shut. Sheepishly, she glanced up at Kakashi. "I need help tying my obi," she sighed, refusing to make eye contact.

Deciding that silence would perhaps be the best reply, Kakashi helped wrap the obi around her waist before tying the complicated bow. Slipping the coat over her shoulders and handing her the sandals he smiled down at her. "Ready to go?"

"Go?" Mitsuki repeated, looking confused and slightly nervous. "But we haven't had dinner yet, Kakashi-san!"

"We'll eat out."

"But it's already made!"

He steered her towards the large living room window. "It'll keep."

Mitsuki planted her feet and glared up at him. "We're not going anywhere," she said firmly, the sandals dangling in one hand. "You're the one who wanted to stay in, after all."

Kakashi shrugged. "Well, since we're not expecting anyone, let's go out!" he said cheerfully, smiling at the guilty look on Mitsuki's face. He grabbed her hand and opened the window. "Let's go Mitsuki-chan."

Mitsuki glanced around the room looking for something to help her stall. "I… Ano… I haven't done my hair yet!"

"You look fine." There were voices in the hall. "Nice even." Mitsuki was staring at him, slightly confused. Had she just been complimented on her looks or brushed off? _Now, while she's distracted…_ Kakashi thought to himself, scooping her up into his arms. Mitsuki squeaked in protest, but he managed to get them out of the window and onto the neighboring building's rooftop before the doorbell rang. He mentally sighed in relief as he set her down.

"Don't put me down!" Mitsuki protested, hitting Kakashi on the head as she struggled to get her sandals on. "My sandals aren't on and…" She groaned in annoyance, glaring at Kakashi. "You!" she growled.

Laughing quietly, Kakashi helped her get her sandals on before setting her down on her feet. "Where do you want to eat?"

"Where do I want to eat?" Mitsuki asked, glaring at him and pulling her coat around her tighter. Unbelievable. He'd just left a perfectly good dinner on the stove and kidnapped her so they could find a place to eat? From the still open window Mitsuki could hear someone calling and a door behind pounded on. Kakashi raised his eyebrow at her, glancing at the window. Unable to stop herself, Mitsuki blushed, before walking towards the fire escape. "It's New Years Eve, we should have soba," she said simply, ignoring the smug look on Kakashi's face.

"Was that what you were planning on feeding our visitors?" Kakashi asked, smirking as he followed her.

Mitsuki thought about protesting but instead glared at the taller man. "Yes," she said shortly, shivering slightly in the cold night air. She frowned up at him, sighing wistfully. "I'm sorry, Kakashi-san… I guess I should have told you, but Gai-kun said it was a tradition and… Gomen…"

Kakashi shrugged. "No problem," he said, picking her up again and jumping down to the street below. "So we want soba, huh?"

Mitsuki adjusted her slightly rumpled clothing. "We could have something else if you like."

"Soba's good."

-

-

"Ramen's better."

"I absolutely agree with Naruto!"

Sakura sighed, shaking her head and mentally groaning. Why hadn't she come up with a plan before they went searching for somewhere to eat? Naruto only wanted ramen, Kajika only wanted what Naruto wanted, Chouji only wanted meat, Kiba wanted somewhere that would allow Akamaru inside, Hinata wouldn't speak up, Sasuke didn't care, Ino-pig was hanging all over Sasuke, Neji was acting like he was somewhere else, Lee had run off looking for Gai, Shikamaru was staring at the sky, and Ten Ten was sharpening a knife. "But soba's traditional," Sakura protested.

"I still agree with Naruto!" Kajika cooed, grabbing onto the orange clothed boy.

Glad that someone was on his side for once, Naruto beamed at the kitsune, ignoring the fact that she was holding onto him. "See? Someone else wants ramen too!"

"S-S-Sakura-chan," Hinata stuttered, looking down shyly. "I-It wouldn't be so bad if we w-went out for ramen."

"No!" Sakura protested, her head held high. "We're going for soba and that's final!"

"There's no meat in soba," Chouji sighed. "Why don't we go to a beef bowl instead?"

"No! We're eating soba!"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'll take you to the beef bowl, Chouji," he said stuffing his hands in his pockets. "All this arguing is troublesome."

"NO!" Sakura shouted, glaring at the young Chuunin. "We're all eating _together_ and we're eating _soba_ got that!?"

"But ramen's better!"

"_NARUTO!!!_"

-

-

Mitsuki smiled as she walked down the street, enjoying the crisp winter air. "What's this next temple called?" she asked Kakashi, following him up the many steps to the next Shinto shrine.

"Ano sa… Something something, otera."

She laughed at him, smiling cheerfully. "You forgot!?"

Kakashi shrugged, slowing down so she could keep up. "Not really the religious type."

Mitsuki nodded in understanding. "In that case, what do ninjas believe in?" she asked.

"Protecting the village," Kakashi answered automatically. "And the people who are precious to us," he added after a moment.

"Like Obito-kun."

Kakashi hesitated, glancing up at the night sky. Slowly, he nodded. "Like Obito." He smiled as they reached the top of the steps, passing under the huge red gate of the Shinto temple. "Here we are!"

Mitsuki gasped in delight as she looked at the huge red buildings. Priests and priestesses were rushing about doing last minute preparations for midnight, but overall the temple seemed serene. "Do they do the ringing of the bells here?" she asked, strolling between two huge buildings, her eyes aglow.

Kakashi shrugged. "Not sure. I've heard this is the best place for cherry blossom watching in the spring though."

Mitsuki laughed, whirling around and grabbing Kakashi's hands. "Really!? Then in the spring we'll have to come back here!"

Kakashi looked down at the pure delight in her face before nodding. "Sure," he said. He mentally shrugged. Well, why wouldn't they come back here for the cherry blossoms? He frowned as he followed Mitsuki around the rest of the temple grounds. He'd never gone cherry blossom viewing before, he realized watching as Mitsuki tied a wish onto a good luck tree branch. For that matter, he'd never done anything for New Years besides go out and drink with his fellow ninja. Not since his parents had died…

"Is something the matter, Kakashi-san?" Mitsuki asked, looking up at him, concerned. "You look so serious."

Kakashi shook his head. "Nothing's the matter, Mitsuki-chan," he said smiling. "And call me Kakashi."

Mitsuki smiled at the start of their old argument. "Ah, you know I can't do that Kakashi-san! It's too disrespectful."

"You call Naruto and Sasuke 'kun,.'"

"They're younger then I am!" Mitsuki giggled, heading for the main stairs.

"But Gai's not."

"I'm not living on Gai's charity though."

Usually this was the end of the argument, with Kakashi protesting that it wasn't charity and Mitsuki apologizing repeatedly for intruding on his life. However, he'd thought of some new arguments since Kajika had arrived. "Kajika doesn't call me 'san,'" he pointed out following her back down the steep steps.

"Kajika-chan's rather rude."

"This coming from the person who's been calling Tsunade-sama 'chan' lately."

Mitsuki faltered, looking up at him surprised. "Well… I…"

Kakashi smiled. He'd won.

"I'm still calling you Kakashi-san."

Kakashi mentally sighed. New tactic. Maybe he should focus on the times she'd slipped up and called him 'kun?'

From his side, Mitsuki suddenly squeaked, pitching forward as lost her footing. Instinctively, Kakashi grabbed her stopping her from falling down the remaining thirty or so steps. "Alright?" he asked, slowly releasing her.

Mitsuki blushed, nodding. "These zabi are so hard to walk in and…" she trailed off. "Thank you Kakashi-kun, that would have really hurt…"

He smiled at her, starting their decent again. "Maa… If I'd known that almost falling down a flight of stairs would have made you call me 'kun' I would have pushed you down one months ago."

Mitsuki laughed, lightly hitting him on the arm. "Kakashi…" she sighed happily. "Show me the next temple!"

"Alright." Kakashi glanced at his watch. "Or we could go to the village square. The fireworks should be starting soon."

"Fireworks!" Mitsuki squealed, grinning widely. "I haven't seen fireworks in… I don't think I've ever seen fireworks!" She grabbed onto his arm, pulling gently. "Come on Kakashi-kun! We need to find good seats!"

-

-

"Yes!" Kajika cheered, swinging her feet merrily. "Best seats of the house!"

Sitting beside her, Sasuke nodded slightly, approving of their view. The fireworks would be set off not far from here and they had a perfect, unobstructed view… "Not bad."

From the back of the small crowd, Hinata watched Naruto feeling hopeful. She'd been rather confused ever since Kajika arrived, not sure of what her relationship with Naruto was. She'd just appeared out of the blue, hanging all over Naruto like he was her private property… But Naruto had never acted the same way back. Maybe it was a one sided love?

Christmas had been especially confusing. She'd gone out by herself to see all the store window Christmas displays but instead found Naruto all alone wandering about dejectedly. If Kajika was his girlfriend then she would have wanted to spend Christmas with Naruto, right?

Hinata glanced down at her plain dark blue kimono. She wasn't as pretty as Kajika and she wasn't as outgoing or cheerful but… But… But she wasn't about to give up on Naruto just yet. Maybe she could get him to sit with her during the fireworks display instead of Sakura or Kajika?

"Oi! Naruto, sit by me!" Kajika cooed, waving her hand at the blond boy. "I've saved you the best seat!"

Naruto frowned, studying the area intently. "You sure it's the best?"

Hinata took a deep breath. This was her chance. "A-Ano, Naruto-kun," she said softly, staring at the ground. "This bench has a pretty good view too…"

Everyone looked at Hinata, surprised. Had she just asked Naruto to sit with her?

Naruto grinned at the shy girl as Kajika glared at her. "You know, you're probably right, Hinata-chan."

"She's probably wrong," Kajika snapped, getting to her feet and glaring at the slightly shorter girl. "Why would your spot be better?" she asked, putting a hand on each hip. "My spot is more attractive, has a better personality." She grinned at the girl, fangs flashing. "My spot knows how to hold a conversation."

"Kajika-chan!" Sakura gasped, glaring at the fox.

Naruto looked at Kajika, confused. How did a spot hold a conversation?

Hinata glazed back firmly despite the fact that she was trembling. She wasn't used to having everyone stares on her… And did Kajika have fangs? "I… My…" she stammered for a moment, not knowing what to say. "My spot has warmth, kindness, and human compassion," she suddenly blurted out before clasping a hand across her mouth.

Kajika blinked down at the girl, studying her carefully. "You've got me there," she said after a moment. She smiled flippantly, going back to her seat at a fountain's edge and sitting down. "Her spot's human," she muttered to herself, swinging her feet again. "Seventy years max."

Hinata blinked, realizing her small victory. Turning to Naruto she smiled. "N-Naruto… Would you l-like to sit with me?"

Naruto shrugged, sitting down on the bench beside her. "Thanks, Hinata-chan! This really is a great view!"

Kajika hummed as she pictured tearing the girl limb from limb. "Seventy years max," she muttered again, staring into the night.

-

-

"Where should we sit?" Mitsuki asked, looking around the already crowded town clearing.

Kakashi glanced around. Not many places were left and the ones that did remain needed a picnic blanket or something so you weren't sitting on the ground. Not like that was a bother or anything, but Mitsuki probably wouldn't want to get her kimono dirty…

"Kashi! Miki! Over here!" a familiar voice called. Kakashi turned and saw Kajika standing on the wall of a fountain's pool and waving at them.

Kakashi followed Mitsuki as she weaved her way through the crowd to the fox. "Yo," he said in greeting, smiling at the genin and the lone chuunin of the group.

"Happy New Year, Kakashi-sama!" Ino said cheerfully, holding tightly to Sasuke's arm.

The others muttered their greetings, some of the males looking uncomfortable since they were being seen sitting all alone. Ten Ten refused to sit with anyone while Sakura and Ino were clinging to Sasuke and Kajika was actually hissing at anyone who got too close to her. "Wanna sit with us?" Kajika asked, cheerfully.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not, Mituski-chan, feel free to join us," Sakura said smiling. "The fireworks are about to begin and you won't be able to find a better spot."

The two adults nodded their thanks sitting down. Scooting closer to Kakashi so that Kajika could have a bit more space, she beamed up at the taller man. "I'm so excited!" she laughed, looking expectantly at the night sky. "What are fireworks really like, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Noisy."

Kajika smiled at her friend. "The Fire Spirits gave me some. After the bell ringing ceremony we can go and set those off too if you like."

Mitsuki smiled at the younger girl. "That would be fun."

From close by the clock tower rang eleven o'clock. As if by a silent cue the crowd hushed, turning their gazes to the night sky and the fireworks that were soon to appear.

"Ne, Kakashi-kun…" Mitsuki muttered, glancing around the clearing. "Does the air seem awfully still to you?"

Kakashi glanced at a nearby tree's branches. They weren't moving. "Why?"

Mitsuki edged closer to him, grabbing onto his shirt sleeve. "Something bad's going to happen," she whispered softly as the first firework shot into the air.

Kakashi glanced down at her. He hadn't heard her in the noise the rocket's take off had made. "What did you say?"

Trembling now, Mitsuki grabbed onto his arm tightly. "Kakashi-kun! We need to ru-"

An ear shattering explosion rocked the city center, glass and other debris going flying as a bomb exploded. Instinctively, Kakashi tackled, Mitsuki to the ground as the shock wave came at them, the genins hitting the ground too, some actually diving into the fountain to escape the blast of heat and wind. Leaping to his feet an instant later, Kakashi shoved a dazed Mitsuki into Sasuke and Sakura's arms. "Get out of here!" he ordered, rushing forward to where the blast had gone off.

"Naruto!" Kajika shouted, racing forward to where the bench had been and effortlessly tearing off the tree branch that fallen there. "Naruto-kun, daijoubu?"

Naruto nodded, helping Hinata to her feet. "Are we under attack?" he asked, in shock. A second later a second bomb went off, knocking all three of them off their feet. Naruto was the first to get up, pushing Hinata at Kajika and racing towards the city center. "Help everyone get out of here!" he shouted, plunging into the growing flames.

Hinata and Kajika looked at each other for a moment. "Come on!" Kajika shouted, dragging the shorter girl back towards the group. A third bomb went off, rocking the area as a strange howl rang through the air. Kajika froze, bristling.

Mitsuki gasped reaching for the girl. "Kajika-chan!" she shouted as Kajika turned away, shedding her human disguise and letting her tails whip around her.

"What the hell!?" Ino shrieked, falling back onto Chouji as she stared at the fox. "A kitsune!"

"Kajika!" Mitsuki shouted again, running forward.

Kajika gently knocked Mitsuki back with one of her tails as a large form stepped calmly out of the flames. Easily twice her size, the gobi (five tailed) fox glared down at the nibi (two tailed) fox before throwing back it's head and laughing. Kajika took her chance and dove forward towards the kitsune's exposed throat, knocking it to the ground and clawing at it.

Sakura hauled Mitsuki to her feet, turning and helping her run away from the snapping, snarling mass of fur and teeth. "Let's go Mitsuki!" she shouted, Shikamaru grabbing the girl's other arm to help lead her away to safety.

-

-

Kakashi dove to the side, tackling a villager to safety as yet another bomb went off, the area soon becoming thick with smoke and fire. Coughing slightly, he shoved the woman through a gap in the flames instructing her to run as he turned back to find another trapped person. This was getting frustrating. Bombs kept on going off, but not a single enemy had been spotted.

"Kakashi-sensei!" a familiar voice shouted.

Kakashi whirled, running towards Naruto's voice and helping the boy pull a chunk of rock off of a sobbing child. Grabbing the child up in his arms he put her in the arms of a fleeing old man, showing him the way out before plunging back into the flames, Naruto at his side. "Where's Mitsuki and the others?" he asked, scanning the flames for another person.

Naruto panted, covering his mouth and nose with his hand. "Kajika's helping them out."

A snarling mass of teeth and claws fell into the fire's flames, extinguishing some of them as two kitsune's fought. Kakashi cursed as he realized that Kajika was one of the fighting Kitsune. Her opponent was as large as a house but she was only slightly larger then a horse. She was horribly outmatched. Running forward, Kakashi hesitated a moment before throwing a kunai, hitting the enemy kitsune in the eye. The huge kitsune roared in pain, breaking away from Kajika as it rolled around howling. Kajika pounced on the larger kitsune, clawing at it's stomach, drawing blood. Kakashi prepared a second kunai to throw when he spotted a man heading straight into the two kitsune's path, completely oblivious to the danger.

"Naruto! Stay here," he ordered, running forward and pulling the man away and to safety.

The man looked at Kakashi, surprised, his strange glowing eyes twinkling brightly. "Why thank you," he said pleasantly, smiling at the shorter man. Gently laying his hand on Kakashi's arm so that the ninja wouldn't leave he smiled at him. "You wouldn't happen to be Konoha's Copy Ninja Kakashi, now would you?"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted, pointing to a flaming tree that was falling towards him.

Kakashi cursed, pulling the man away as the tree fell. "I am," he said shortly, pulling away.

"Excellent," the man cooed. Kakashi blinked in shock as sudden pain blossomed in his stomach. Gasping, he keeled over, a decorative katana lodged in his stomach. _How…_ He gasped in pain. He hadn't even seen the man _move_…

Bending over, the man patted Kakashi on the cheek fondly before turning and leaving. "Thank you for taking such good care of Mitsuki-chan."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted, rushing forwards towards where his teacher had fallen.

Kajika hauled the fallen tree out of Naruto's way, striking the enemy kitsune with it with her tail. An instant later she was at the kitsune's throat, ripping and tearing as it's blood gushed over her. The kitsune gave a roar, clawing at her, but she held on, biting deeper into the kitsune's flesh. Slowly, the kitsune's roars became fainter until it finally sank to the ground with a whimper. Tearing out the animal's throat, Kajika sighed wearily, sitting before making her way to where the fallen Kakashi and Naruto were.

Naruto had pulled the sword from his teacher's stomach, pressing hard on the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Too tired to change back into human form Kajika nuzzled at Kakashi's neck yipping in his ear. He didn't move although he was breathing still.

"Kajika-chan…" Naruto said quietly, tears streaming down his face.

Kajika looked at Naruto for a moment before wrapping her tail securely around Kakashi's stomach. She pulled the ninja onto her back, the tail still wrapped around him to help stop the bleeding. "Lead me," she said softly.

-

-

The small group of girls hurried down the alleyway, heading towards Hinata's house. The girl's home had been closest and they had to get out of these clothes and into _something_ suitable for fighting in. "This way," Hinata called, opening a gate and leading them into the Hyuuga compound. Abruptly, she stopped, gazing back at the group. "Where's Mitsuki-san?"

Sakura whirled around, groaning. "She was just right behind me!"

Ino shook her head. "We'll find her later. Now we have to get back to the fight."

Nodding in agreement, the group of three girls hurried on to Hinata's home to change and then go and aid their fellow Shinobi.

-

-

-

-

-

1. Tabi socks are socks that are sort of a mix between toe socks and the socks Americans usually wear. They come up to the ankles or thigh and have a split in the fabric that the big toe goes into. Some tabi have soles on the bottom so that people can walk around like they're shoes, but most are just regular socks. Recommended footwear for tabi socks? Traditional Japanese sandals called geta.

2. Mochi is a traditional New Years food. It's really good! It's made from pounding rice, but the more modern way of making it is to buy it from the store and then grill it. If you ever get the chance to eat mochi be sure to take small bites. It's really sticky and every year there are deaths from people biting into too much mochi and then choking on it.

3. Michiyuki. Think of it as an overcoat. It's a traditional jacket with a square collar that is used to protect the wearing and their kimono from the weather.

4. Spider Grandmother.

5. Black beans boiled in a special sauce. Personally, I hated it but it's very traditional. (Nasty tasting though…)

Wanna know more about Japanese stuff? Remove the spaces and go to

http:metropolis. japantoday. com /tokyofooddrinksarchive 299/299/ tokyofooddrinksinc. htm for info about the food

http:www. japaneselifestyle. com. au/culture/ newyear. html for info about the New Year

and

http:www. japanesekimono. com/index.htm for info about kimonos.


	13. The Abyss

Been going through the throes of depression lately although I'm not sure why. School started up again, but I'm actually excited about that… Anyway, had to re-write this chapter six times (instead of my usual two) because I kept on doing stupid things that would screw up the plot to come. I mean, I actually killed Kakashi and Hinata! Finished the chapter, started re-reading it, and thought to myself "What am I doing? I can't kill Kakashi! He's Kakashi! Plus that's like the most pathetic death ever!" So I had to re-write the chapter. Then I had to save Hinata because I realized that my killing streak had nothing to do with the plot of the story and Hinata would probably be useful later on. So I killed Kajika instead. (Why? I don't like her…) Then I saved her, killed the golden man, needed a villain, saved the golden man, and started to research horses. Why?

…

I don't know why. Stress relief? Well, at least I have something extra super cool to visualize when I'm thinking of Kajika in fox mode. (Findings are at the end of the chapter) So two days later after nearly pulling my hair out while trying to design my own language (it sounds too much like English. I want it to sound more like Japanese) I returned to this story, finished it and now you have to suffer the consequences.

Chapter 12: The Abyss1

Salve for all the burn victims, surgery for the ones caught up in the bomb blasts, oxygen for the ones who'd collapsed from the smoke, sedatives for the children who couldn't find their parents, sedatives for the parents who couldn't find their children, orders for every capable ninja to go out and find more of the injured, orders for ANBU to go out and find who the hell had done this, migraine medicine for Tsunade…

Shizune sighed. The list went on and on. This was supposed to be a holiday, not a disaster!

She handed Tsunade a cup as the older woman left the surgery room, noting the grave look on the older woman's face. Tsunade accepted the cup silently and drank its contents. "Do we have a death count yet?" she asked tossing the cup aside.

"No, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade shook her head sadly. "One."

The count would reach 100 half an hour later.

-

-

"Aren't we going to bring Kakashi-sensei to the hospital?" Naruto asked, following Kajika outside of the village gates.

Kajika shook her head, blood dripping from a wound to her shoulder. "No," she said shortly, scanning the dark path ahead of them. She sniffed the wind. A few squirrels, a rabbit or two… nothing dangerous. "We need to get to the Kappa."

"But Mitsuki-chan said he was hibernating for the winter and shouldn't be disturbed."

Kajika snarled, glaring at the boy. "Screw that! We need that bastard's help and by kami we're going to get it even if I have to bite his stupid arm off!"

"Naruto-kun!" a soft voice called from behind them. They both whirled around to see Hinata running out of the village gates, dressed in her usual ninja wear. "Naruto-kun, where are you going?"

"Hinata!"

Kajika growled, smacking both Naruto and Hinata with her free tail and stalking off towards the forest. "Talk and walk!" she growled, still testing the air for enemies. Whoever had attacked Konoha had never appeared besides to send the kitsune after her and to attack Kakashi. Who knew if they were lurking in the woods or not… It was better to assume that they were there and waiting for them to show up. "Quiet!" she hissed back at the two talking genin. She sniffed the air again. Was that blood? The wind wasn't coming from Konoha… Who was bleeding?

"What is it, Kajika-chan?" Naruto asked, pulling out a kunai and standing at the kitsune's shoulder.

"There's someone out here," Kajika growled, waiting for the wind to change so she could pick up that scent again. "Someone injured."

"Which direction?" Hinata asked, activating her Byakugan and looking around.

Kajika glanced down at the girl before looking to the right. "One o'clock."

Hinata looked in that direction, focusing her sight. "It's Mitsuki-san! She's talking to something in a pond…"

Kajika nodded, digging her claws into the soft soil. "We go there." With a flick of her free tail she ran towards the kappa's pond, Naruto and Hinata following at her ankles. She shifted Kakashi slightly so he wouldn't be jarred as badly, listening for the quiet sound of his breathing and heartbeat. She had managed to slow the bleeding to a manageable rate with her tail but he was still fading. They needed to get him to the kappa and Mitsuki quickly or…

A shrill scream echoed through the night and all three of them doubled their running speed. "What's going on?" Kajika demanded. The wind was coming from Konoha, she couldn't smell a thing from up ahead.

Hinata focused and looked. "Someone's attacking!"

"Who?"

"…A-A man! Gold coloured hair with a big fur coat!"

Kajika broke away from the two genin, growling deeply in her throat. "Bastard!" she roared, bursting into the clearing. She dropped Kakashi, leaving Hinata and Naruto to catch him, and dived for the nearest man. Knocking him to the ground, she bit the man on the back of the neck, severing his spine. The man screamed once and lay still. Growling, the kitsune looked up. Four more men, one of them the golden one.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto shouted, leaving one clone to protect Kakashi with Hinata while the others raced to go help Kajika.

"How rude," the golden man said pleasantly, wiping thick red blood off of his sword. Smiling smugly he looked over to Mitsuki who was kneeling by the pond, a lost look on her face. "Aren't they rude, dearest? Bursting in and killing one of my men just as we were starting our conversation…"

Mitsuki slowly looked up at him, cradling a severed, beaked head. Sniffing once she rubbed at an eye, wiping red all over her face, before turning to Kajika and Naruto. Raising a red stained hand she pointed to the golden man. "Kajika… Kill him."

Kajika roared and raced forward, ignoring her wounds as she tore through the man who attempted to stop her. At her side Naruto and his clones pounced on the remaining two men, stopping them from getting in the fox's way.

The golden man smirked as the kitsune rushed towards him, drawing his sword. The kitsune may be a full ton of anger, muscle, and teeth but he had greater forces on his side. Raising his blade he easily caught the creature's sharp claws. They stood still for a moment before he threw her back, tossing her easily in a way that crushed most of Naruto's clones and came very near to flattening Hinata and Kakashi as well.

Hinata gasped as the kitsune landed near them, abandoning Kakashi for a moment to help the dazed Kajika to her feet. "Are you alright?"

Kajika glanced at Hinata before nodding shortly. "I've got 'im," she growled, cautiously walking forward and beginning to circle the man. Crouching close to the ground, she tensed preparing to leap at him again.

The golden man smiled at her, preparing himself. Suddenly, he felt many sets of arms wrap around him, grabbing him and holding him still as the fox leaped at him. Glancing over his shoulder he saw the blond boy that had arrived with the fox. Mentally shrugging he threw the clones away and into the kitsune's path. Unsure if any of the clones was the real Naruto the kitsune stopped short, nearly falling over her own feet to stop herself from trampling a few of the boys. The golden man smirked, turning away from the kitsune and the clones. They were no longer of any interest to him. Instead he turned, looking for Mitsuki.

She had abandoned the kappa's headless body, leaving it to rest at the pond's edge although she had brought the head with her, carrying it like it was an infant. Currently she was kneeling next to a pretty girl as they both studied a badly wounded man. Was that the Copy Ninja? He smiled. How perfectly terrible. The man hadn't died yet. Well, he could always rectify that when he claimed Mitsuki... Maybe he should take the pretty girl as well? She was quite lovely and he hadn't arranged for anyone to be with him tonight... Her face would probably light up beautifully as she died...

"Don't turn your back to me!" Kajika roared, diving for the man. Five of Naruto's clones flanked her, calling a battle cry as they dived for the man.

He smiled, raising his sword again. Since they insisted he'd be sure to kill them too...

-

-

He didn't understand it? Where was he? Stretching out in front of him, as far as he could see, was a winding, twisting path. Dead trees and barren bushed were scattered about, many of their branches down and decaying on the ground. Above him the sky was a sick looking green, dark grey clouds swirling through it. And behind him...

"It's someone new," a small voice said.

"Don't look back," an identical voice said.

Kakashi glanced down, staring at the two wraith-like creatures. Dressed in what was nothing more then shreds, the two creatures looked up at him with immense, empty black eyes. Thinning black hair covered their heads and their stomachs were grotesquely huge He frowned, kneeling down so he was eye level with them and gazed deeply into their eyes. They were human? Slightly startled he studied them again, were these two children? Could there be children in such a bleak place?

Smiling brightly at the two, he stuck a hand out. "Hi there!" he said with false cheerfulness. "I'm Hatake Kakashi, who are your names?"

The identical looking creatures glanced at each other before looking back at him. "We can't remember," one said.

"The Abyss swallowed it," said the other.

"Just like everything else."

Kakashi frowned. "The abyss? What's that?"

"It's behind you."

"Don't look behind you."

"If you look behind you..."

"...The Abyss will swallow you."

Kakashi's frown deepened. He looked out of the corner of his eye as far as he could see. He couldn't see anything dangerous... but... then again... He had no desire to turn around and look behind him either. In fact, now that he thought about it, there was a strange pulsing feeling coming from behind him, as if there was something very much alive waiting for him. He had to get away from it...

He straightened up and smiled kindly down at the children. "Maa... Where are your parents?" he asked.

"They were swallowed."

"The Abyss swallowed them."

"If you turn around.."

"...The Abyss will swallow you too..."

Kakashi nodded, absently. "Got it. Don't turn around, ne? Well, we better get going then."

The children looked up at him, confused. "Go?"

"There's no where to go."

Kakashi pointed to the path in front of him. "We can go there."

"That leads to nothing."

"The Abyss is nothing."

"If you turn around..."

"The abyss will swallow me, I get it, I get it," Kakashi beamed at the two. "Well, we'll be following the path anyway. Is that all right with you two?"

The children glanced at each other. "We?"

"Sure! Can't leave you two alone, now can I? That reminds me..." he glanced at them, their hanging bellies and the bones barely covered by skin. "You two hungry?"

The two children stared up at him, uncomprehending. "Hungry?"

Reaching into his jacket pocket he pulled out two energy bars, offering them to the children. "Maa.. These taste like shit but if you're hungry you can-" He blinked as the two children suddenly moved, reaching up and grabbing the bars as if he'd change his mind at any moment and take them away. He smiled at them. "So, you were hungry..."

The children stared at the food as if they couldn't believe their eyes, holding them tightly to their chests. "Thank you," they whispered softly.

"Not a problem!" Kakashi said brightly. He glanced up at the strange green sky, the pulsing feeling getting stronger. He needed to know how he got here and, more importantly, how he could get out. Reaching out, he took one child by the hand, the other one going to his side and grabbing hold of his pant leg.

The children glanced up at Kakashi as they started down the path. "There's nothing down there," one said slowly opening up their energy bar and taking a small bite.

Kakashi nodded, continuing down the path anyway. "You've mentioned that."

The other child nodded. "You're gonna be disappointed..."

-

-

"We can stop here for now," Kakashi said flopping onto the ground at the base of a dead tree. He glanced over at the children. They didn't seem tired, but they had been walking for what seemed like hours. He frowned, thinking over what had happened so far. The landscape had been unchanging, flat, dead land was all around and while the path had appeared twisting it was actually straight so he still didn't know what had been behind him at the beginning of the journey. Plus the pulsing feeling was getting stronger. What could it be that was behind him?

"Look," one of the children said, pointing into the distance.

Kakashi looked, seeing shapes in the distance. "What's that?" he asked, standing again, a hand on a kunai.

"It's the other Empty Ones."

"Empty ones?"

"The ones too scared to turn around."

"So the Abyss took what it could..."

"...and made them Empty..."

They glanced at each other. "Like us."

Kakashi glanced down at them, frowning. Whenever he'd asked a question the reply was always something about the Abyss and how it had devoured something. The children's voices were so bleak... They seemed to have given up hope long ago... He knelt down putting a hand on each child's head. "You two aren't empty," he said in what he hoped was a soothing manner. "You've got some food in you now... And..." He smiled at them. "You have me now, and each other."

The two glanced at each other. "We've looked into the Abyss..."

"...You can't look into the Abyss..."

"...When you look into the Abyss..."

"...And you're not swallowed..."

"...You're Empty."

Kakashi shook his head. "Not empty. Here, I've got an idea. You two can't remember your names, right?" There was a nod of confirmation. "Well, from now on... err.. Are you two boys or girls?"

"I'm a boy."

"Girl..."

"Then you'll be Botan, and you'll be Akina. Feel less empty?"

The newly christened Botan and Akina stared up at Kakashi with wide eyes full of wonder. Slowly, the two nodded, tears coming to their eyes. The boy, Botan, suddenly grinned, twirling around. "I'm Botan! That's a strong name!"

Kakashi nodded encouragingly. He wouldn't tell the kid that it meant peony... Not now at least.

The girl, Akina, looked quietly off into the distance. Smiling softly, she looked back at Kakashi. "I have a pretty name..." she sighed. "I finally have a name aga..." She trailed off, her eyes fixing on something behind Kakashi's shoulder. Eyes widening in horror, she took a step back before turning and running. "The Abyss!" she shrieked.

Botan also looked, giving a cry of alarm before running. "It can see us!" he shrieked.

Kakashi leaped to his feet, then froze. The wind was picking up and there was a roaring sound coming from far away. Every instinct of his was screaming at him to abandon the children and run away. He hadn't looked yet, the abyss would only get the children... He could run away... Find a way to escape this place... He hadn't looked....

Hadn't looked at what? Body protesting, Kakashi slowly turned to face whatever it was that he hadn't been able to look at before now...

-

-

The golden man turned before Kajika could reach him, he sword connecting with one of her paws and cutting the flesh down to the bone. Roaring in pain Kajika leaped away, screaming and crying as she bit down on the wound in an attempt to keep her paw from falling off altogether. With another swing, all the Naruto clones were destroyed, the true Naruto falling back, a deep wound across his chest.

Hinata's eyes widened as the two warriors fell. Standing shakily, she ran up to the golden man, activating her Byakugan and taking a fighting stance. She didn't know what she had gotten into. She had been looking for people to help from the fire when she'd spotted Naruto leaving the village with a giant Kitsune... Blindly, she had followed and now...

If Naruto and Kajika had fallen to defeat this man she would do the same. She didn't know who he was, she didn't know why he had to be stopped, she just knew she had to stop him. Glancing behind her briefly, she shouted for Mitsuki to go and get help. Kakashi-sensei was dying, Naruto had collapsed with a pale look on his face, Kajika was still roaring in pain... Mitsuki had to get out of here! She needed to get to the village and...

But Mitsuki didn't even glance up as Hinata called her name. Instead, she was dipping her fingers into the strange head full of water she'd been carrying. Hinata turned to face her enemy, but if she had watched a moment longer she would have seen Mitsuki drip some of this water into Kakashi's wound.

"What a pretty girl," the man cooed as he came towards her. He reached out a hand as if to stroke her face."Would you like to come with me, darling? I'll be good to you if you come..."

Hinata glared at him, slapping the hand away and going into her attack. This man's chakra was strange. It spun and danced much more then any she had ever seen, but most of the pressure points were still the same. She hit most of the vital ones before the man suddenly roared and knocked her away, murder in his eyes.

"Darling, that hurt!" he shouted, waving his sword in the air. Hinata blinked as roots suddenly shot up out of the ground, surrounding her and stopping her from moving. The golden man glared at her. "You shall wish you hadn't done that," he threatened, before ignoring her and continuing on towards Mitsuki.

Mitsuki looked up as he approached, a strange look in her eyes. "Stay away from me," she muttered, grabbing onto the fabric of Kakashi's sleeve and holding on tightly.

The golden man smiled at her charmingly. "There's no river like last time, dearest. It's a new moon... They can't help you."

"Stay away."

"You're coming with me, dearest. Don't worry... Beloved and I will take good care of you..."

"I said STAY AWAY!"

-

-

Kakashi turned around. There, not far away now was The End. His eyes widened as the wind suddenly picked up, seemingly drawing him towards it. It was truly The End. There was no afterlife. No Heaven or Hell. Simply nothing. He'd be swallowed up and simply cease to be. His whole life would be gone forever. It would leave no effect. No one would remember him. He'd simply be... gone... _It can see me... The Abyss,_ Kakashi thought to himself, his eyes closing of their own accord. _Capital A._

He was falling forward now, the wind picking him up and hurtling him towards the Nothing. Briefly, he thought about fighting it, but it wouldn't matter in a moment... He'd be swallowed and then there would be no more pain, no more feelings, no more... _Obito..._

Kakashi's eyes snapped open and he heard shrieks, the children being dragged closer to him. Twisting, he instinctively grabbed the two flying children out of the air, plunging a kunai in the ground and grabbing hold to stop them from being devoured.

Akina was crying, Kakashi noted absently, focusing on not losing his grip. Botan was staring at him with pleading eyes. This was his fault, he realized suddenly. He'd given the children names, he'd fed them, made them less empty... Now the Abyss could see them. Before... Before they'd been too empty to catch the Abyss's attention.

Kakashi smiled warily, the wind was pulling stronger now. The Abyss was less then a foot away, but it had ceased to move closer, the wind picking up instead to drag them in. The kunai cut through the rock, sending them an inch closer to the portal. Akina shrieked as Botan held onto Kakashi tightly. "Don't let us go..."

Focusing entirely on keeping his grip, Kakashi frowned as the wind once again got stronger. If this kept up he'd... He'd promised Obito hadn't he? Obito had been going to heaven. Rin was already there. So was his teacher, so was everyone he'd ever really cared about. When he had to die, he was going to follow them, not be sucked into nothingness...

The wind picked up again, the suction becoming greater. He winced as the pain in his arm became more intense. At this rate his shoulder was going to become dislocated. He wouldn't be able to hold on after that...

"_Darling, that hurt!"_ the voice was harsh, slightly familiar. Kakashi glanced at the two terrified children. Neither of them had spoken then who...

"_Stay away from me."_

_Mitsuki?_

"_There's no river like last time, dearest."_ Who was speaking? Where was this coming from?

Kakashi's eyes widened as a silver rope appeared out of nowhere in front of his eyes. The wind picked up again and he winced. The rope looked like it reached out beyond the wind's pull. Could he grab on and pull himself to safety?

"_Stay away."_

Maybe. He might be able pull himself and the two children away. It would be difficult, but he couldn't hold onto this kunai forever. Now how to grab on? One arm was stopping the children from being swept away from him while the other was stopping them from being devoured.

"_Don't worry... Beloved and I will take good care of you..."_

The rope was short, but it he let go of the kunai and grabbed onto the rope an instant later... He glanced back at the Abyss. He had the sudden desire to let go, after all it was all so pointless... He shook his head, staring deeply into the Abyss's depths.

_It's glaring at me,_ he realized with a start. _It's alive..._

"Hold on."

"_I said STAY AWAY!"_

He let go of the kunai.

Akina and Botan screamed.

-

-

Somebody was hovering over him, sword drawn. Instinctively, Kakashi's hand went to his holster, grabbing a kunai and shoving it into the person's thigh. The man screamed, dropping his sword and collapsing, to clutch at his leg.

"Kakashi-san!"

He was instantly on his feet, pulling out more kunai and shurikens. He remembered this man. This guy had stabbed him through the stomach... Bastard... He took aim, threw, and blinked as the man suddenly vanished, none of the weapons connecting.

"Beloved!" the wail echoed through the trees, it's source unknown. Kakashi stood for a moment more before relaxing and looking around. The man had fled...

Kakashi glanced around the clearing, freezing at what he saw. Naruto was lying in a small pool of blood, his face pale and still bleeding from a cut at his chest. A female form was held still by a net of roots, only their feet visible. A headless body was lying on the edge of the pond... A headless... Oh kami... His team...

He ran to the girl first, ripping the roots away. Naruto should be fine for a few minutes longer, the kitsune's healing powers helping him and Sasuke... If the headless body was Sasuke then he was beyond help. Pulling the last root away he helped a coughing Hinata out of the hole, mentally sighing in relief. This meant Sakura might be fine...

"Daijoubu?" he asked, pulling Hinata a foot or two away from the roots and plopping her down on the ground.

Still coughing, Hinata nodded.

An instant later, Kakashi was at Naruto's side, Mitsuki already there and dripping something onto the boy's wound. "He needs a hospital?" Kakashi asked, eyeing his student warily. There wasn't many major blood vessels where Naruto had been cut, but he could see the white bone of ribs where the blood was thinner.

Mitsuki allowed another drop to fall, before shaking her head. "He'll be fine," she said softly, sitting down with something in her arms. "Give him a moment."

Kakashi paused for a moment, thinking of going to the headless body, but studying the object in Mitsuki's arms instead. Reaching down, he gently took it from her, gazing into the kappa's lifeless eyes. So Sasuke wasn't dead then...

Mitsuki buried her face in her knees, a lost look on her face. "Help Kajika," she said after a moment. "Two drops, maybe three..."

Kakashi blinked before noticing the liquid that filled the bowl of the kappa's head. She wanted him to... Whatever... Standing, he made his way to the whimpering kitsune, wincing at what he saw. He hadn't noticed her earlier since he's been so worried about his team but...

Kajika was a wreck. With a slightly frantic look in her eyes, she was licking her wounded paw as if that would help it go back together. The cut was clean, about two thirds of the way through the limb with blood steaming out of the cut artery. Slowly, Kakashi approached her, kneeling down despite the pools of blood. Dipping his fingers into the water, Kakashi reached over and dropped three drops into the wound.

Kajika laughed, her voice on edge. "Yeah, like that's going to help," she giggled nervously, going back to lick the wound.

Kakashi patted her on the shoulder before going back to where Hinata was hovering over a suddenly concious and sitting up Naruto. "Ne, Naruto lay down," he scolded, setting the kappa's head down in a way that the water wouldn't spill out. "You got cut down to the bone."

Naruto stared up at his teacher with wide eyes. "Kakashi-sensei! You're alive!" he shouted, leaping to his feet and tightly hugging his teacher. "That guy stabbed you through the stomach and we couldn't get the bleeding to stop and Kajika got all serious and-"

"That's enough," Kakashi said firmly, pushing Naruto away. He studied the gash in Naruto's jacket, seeing only unbroken skin underneath. The kitsune had been able to heal Naruto that quickly?

"Oi! Miki!" Kajika shouted, coming forward, her paw fully healed. "Gimmie some more of that stuff. I got more wounds to heal."

Mitsuki shook her head, picking the head up. "No, Kajika-chan. Those wounds aren't life threatening, they can heal on their own."

"But they hurt..."

"No," Mitsuki snapped, a sudden, fierce look on her face. "You already healed your paw. You're fine, understand me!?" she shouted at the kitsune, clutching the head to her chest.

Kajika shrank back a step, looking guilty. "Yes..."

"Good! Now if you'll excuse me, I should get this to Tsunade-sama to help everyone who's hurt." Giving them a curt nod, she turned and started to stalk back towards the village, a blank look on her face.

Kajika waited until she was out of earshot before complaining. "What crawled up her ass and died!?" she spat, glaring at the ground and pawing at it angrily.

Kakashi blinked. Mitsuki was acting very odd. If she was truly upset about the kappa dying then she should be crying, right? Was something else bothering her to make her so angry? "Back to the village," Kakashi ordered, gathering his weapons and sticking them back into their proper places. "Help put out the fire and..." he trailed off seeing two small shapes laying by the tree line. Rushing to the two fallen children he recognized the drawn and almost identical faces of Botan and Akina before picking them up.

Kajika was at his side an instant later, her nose wrinkling as she sniffed them. "They smell funny," she growled, glaring at the unconcious children. "Leave 'em."

Kakashi glared at her, cuffing the giant fox. "Hinata, Naruto, will you take these two to the hospital?"

Naruto and Hinata nodded, stepping forward to collect the children. Kajika stopped them with her tail, growling harder. "Kashi, these two smell _real_ funny. They're not of this world... Just leave them."

"No."

"You can't take them if you don't know where they come from," Kajika growled, ready to pounce on Kakashi and forcefully take the children from him. "They could be dangerous. Leave them here and I'll deal with them."

Kakashi shook his head. "I know where they come from..." The memories were already become hazy, as if it was a bad nightmare fading away. "The Abyss."

Kajika's eyes widened as she stared at him. "You went to the Abyss?"

There was a fuzzy memory of dead trees and a green sky. "Yes."

"Damn..." Kajika muttered. However, she moved away allowing Naruto and Hinata to collect the children before rushing off to the hospital with them. Awkwardly, she stared at Kakashi as if seeing him for the first time.

Kakashi noticed her staring at him and turned to look at the giant fox. "Will you go with me to help me dig out the rest of the victims?"

Kajika sniffed the air. Most of the fires were out, although the smell of blood was still strong. She shrugged. "Lead me."

-

-

Kajika sat at the edge of the chair, playing with the frayed edges of what had been her fine kimono. She sighed. Kumo-baba was going to be _pissed_. Here she had spent all that time making her a fine, festive kimono and she'd wrecked it in less then a day... Well, Mitsuki had wrecked hers too... This way she was in trouble with someone else.

Leaning back in the chair, Kajika sighed again, staring up at the ceiling. She hated this hospital.. The smell of blood and antiseptic was overpowering and the sounds off loud sobbing hurt her ears. She would _so _be out of here if everyone she knew wasn't here... Well, everyone important at least...

Kakashi was a few floors up sharing a room with Naruto. While Tsunade had admitted that they both looked fine, she couldn't accept their wounds had been healed in minutes and locked them into a room for observation. Sasuke, Sakura, and Hinata were with them and if Kajika saw Hinata cooing at Naruto's bedside a moment longer she was going to... Human. Hinata was a human. Fifty years max. She could wait fifty years...

Well, at least being around Kakashi was interesting. The jounin was constantly trying to escape, bringing Tsunade's wrath down upon him every time. His excuse was that he wanted to check up on Mitsuki and the children but Tsunade didn't care. Mitsuki was sleeping and the children's visiting hours were over so...

Kajika sighed, resting her chin on her hand. She was _board._ To escape seeing Hinata fawn over Naruto she had offered to sit by Mitsuki and well... Boring... After coming into the hospital wearing a blank expression and carrying the head of the kappa, Tsunade had locked the girl up into this room and heavily sedated her. While Tsunade had been grateful for the kappa's elixir, she'd been concerned over how Mitsuki had gotten the head of the kappa. After hearing the full story from Naruto and Kajika she's become even more concerned. Mitsuki was staring off into space like a zombie, not grieving. She'd been under the assumption that Mitsuki and the kappa were friends, maybe Mitsuki's lack of emotions was coming from taking the creature's death so hard?

In any case, Tsunade had given Mitsuki a sedative, injecting two more when she had begun to doze off. She'd be sleeping for two days at least... Maybe when she woke up they could tell if she was alright or not? Tsunade really didn't have the time to assess her patient's mental health and all her other psychologists were busy with grief counseling. Mitsuki would have to wait a moment.

Kicking her feet in the air, Kajika hummed for a bit before stopping to stare at the wall. She was on the same floor as the children's ward... She could go and see the two brats Kakashi had brought in, see if they really were from the Abyss.

She shivered. The Abyss had always been a sort of horror story to her, the thing her mother had always threatened her with when she was a pup. If you were bad and didn't do what your parents said you'd go to the Abyss and cease to exist. To a human that was probably scary... to a spirit such as herself it was terrifying.

She didn't know what happened to humans when they died, but with earth spirits they returned to the life of the world, becoming one with nature. Then, after some time, they reformed, entering the physical plane anew to live again. To go to the Abyss... and cease to exist... It was worse then any hell she could imagine. But only the truly evil were supposed to go there. Kakashi wasn't that bad... was he?

Making up her mind, Kajika jumped out of her seat, stealthily making her way towards the children's ward. She needed to find out if those kids really were from the Abyss or not. If they were... we'll, she'd deal with that later...

-

-

-

-

-

1. First off... About this chapter... The Abyss is not a part of Japanese mythology. In fact, I don't know where my ideas about the Abyss even came from. I know I've been thinking about that sort of bleak and dangerous place before that, but I'd never given much thought about it until I read a quote a few days ago. The person's name was Nietzsche and the quote was (in effect) "When you look into the Abyss, the Abyss looks into you." I haven't been able to get the Abyss out of my head ever since... So, I included it in the story in hopes it was more interesting then the usual near-death experiences. Fanfic writers rights I guess...

Did you know that draft horses (the ones that I always think of when I think of Mitsuki's fox size) can weigh up to and over 2,000 lbs? That's 900kg for our international readers (if any). The ones that I researched (British Shire Horses) usually stand at 17 hands (a hand is four inches so it's about 68 in (5 ft 8 inches) or 170 cm). Plus, when you measure horses you're only measuring up to their shoulder….

That's a huge horse. Taller then I am, able to swish me without a single thought…

No wonder knights used them to carry them into battle…

Decided to do the review thing again? Why? ………. Let me think on that.

Sky Spade: I posted more

Cool: Thank you for the encouragement and the wonderful praise. Besides that I must say that I really like your screen name. It's very… cool.

Jen-beyblade-fan: If you're a fan of Beyblade then why are you reading Naruto fanfics? (Thinks on that) …Sparkles? Anyway, it's people like you who are really going to make my head swell, I'm sure of it.

Monkey Shoes: What do you mean, finally? Just for that I'll think about dedicating an entire chapter to tea ceremony and why you have to drink three cups of tea… Or maybe I'll realize that I don't know enough about tea ceremony and instead write about something else... Go something else!

xkuroxshinobix: Don't worry, I will not stop writing this particular story. Once it's online I'm doomed… I mean you're doomed… Whatever. For the record (and to be evil and nitpicky) your screen-name needs an 'i' at the end of 'kuro.' Why? (sighs) The way your screen-name reads now is 'Black Shinobi.' No big deal in English right? However, in Japanese it's like saying 'Black. Shinobi.' Still don't see the difference? I don't either. All I know, is that according to Japanese grammar (and the sensei who was a bitch about it) is that to make the noun 'kuro' into the adjective 'kuro' you need to add an i at the end and make it 'kuroi.' It's not a big deal or anything, just proper grammar. A Japanese person would get what you're trying to say, but would have to think about it for awhile.

Sky Spade: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Is this soon enough for you?

Dragon Man 180: No they won't. They certainly tried, unfortunately (as you saw) that plan was foiled, but it ended happily. I'm glad too. Kajika is really starting to grate on my nerves. Every scene she's in she takes over and she just keeps on whining and whining for more attention. Little sarcastic brat… As for the rest, I alluded to it in this chapter, Master, but you'll have to wait a bit to get the full answer out.

Kadia midori: Thank you for your support. If by any chance could you tell me what your screen name means? I know that 'midori' means green, but I can't figure out what 'Kadia' means. Enlighten me! Please!

Trash Can Fu: My dearest Trash Can… I'm not sure what is more horrifying, your spelling, your grammar, or your face. I have added a three page long rant in my livejournal about you using the largest words I know. I'll give you a cookie if you can figure out what they are. (P.S. I am so going to T's party. There I will use my mad 1337 fencing skills on your raw pansy ass.)


	14. Interlude

Sorry this took so long to get out. I've compiled a short play to explain the tardiness of this chapter.

_Jade:_ Yes! Done with homework at last! Now I can write the next chapter to my story!  
_Professor #1: _Not so fast girlie! First you must watch this movie in which this Eskimo man runs around naked for 20 minutes! Pay close attention to the full frontal shots!  
_Jade: AAAAAHHHH! _That was _so_ not what I wanted to see!  
_Professor #2: _Muahahaha! Now that you're suitably deranged, do these fifteen projects in ten minutes!  
_Professor #3: _There's a pop calc exam tomorrow! It's worth 20 of your grade!  
_Professor #4: _... I've got no work for you... So here's three hours worth of reading! I'll be testing you on it Tuesday!!!!_  
Jade's Muse: _I'm taking a holiday.  
_Jade:_**NOOOO!!! School is sucking out my very soul!!!  
**_Professor #1: _Now watch this movie in which the French and the Native Americans have sex repeatedly!  
_Jade: _Enough with the porn!  
_Professor #1: _Awww... But it's historical porn!

So, as you can see, the reason why this chapter is late is because tiny little aliens from the fifth, previously undiscovered moon of Pluto came down and kidnaped me, implanting a bomb in my stomach and ransoming the world for all of our oxygen... Or I could be under a lot of stress from school and hallucinating again... Your choice.

Chapter 13: Interlude

Kakashi stared up at the ceiling, arms behind his head. Kami, it was boring being in a hospital... The lights were on timers so there wasn't any midnight reading, the food tasted like shit, and if he had to listen to Naruto's snoring much longer he'd go mad. Kakashi glanced at clock on the wall before turning to stare out the window. It was three o'clock in the morning... Had the attack really been solved in three hours or had Tsunade just locked him up while she sent other ninjas off to do their duty? He sighed. He hadn't seen anyone in trouble as he and Kajika had slowly put out fires in the village square. There had been several bombs, but no buildings had been badly damaged and while some trees had fallen there didn't seem to be anything too irreparable.

Really, they were lucky. Kakashi had a feeling he'd know what the reports would say, that the bombs were mostly for a flash and a bang instead of for heavy damage. The death count had been high at first, but after the first half hour the dead stopped coming in ending the count at 124. Those who had died had been practically sitting on top of the bombs or had been trapped by the fire. Most had actually died by falling, and then the crowd trampling over them in an attempt to escape. Considering the number of people in the village square they really had been lucky...

Now if he could be lucky enough to find a way out of here...

He had managed to spot the trap on the ceiling before he set it off. It was a compression trap, triggered when he pushed up a ceiling tile to escape. Easy to disarm... If the wires had been on the other side of the tile...

Then the window had been electrified again... He'd managed to get Naruto to set that trap off. All he had to do was keep complaining on how stuffy the hospital room was and Naruto had jumped up to open the window. Kakashi had pulled him away before the burns could get to second degree, but Naruto had been complaining about the pain until he fell asleep.

The bathroom's windows had been tightly barred, the floor tiles had been laid so he couldn't pull them up, the walls were solid concrete... And he could think of no jutsus to help him escape that would leave the room completely unharmed. There was always something that would happen... The paint would be scratched, the shine would leave the floor... And there was no way we was willing to face the wrath of Tsunade for messing up the hospital room.

Sighing again, Kakashi rolled over so he was staring at Naruto and the door. He'd tried every escape route, thought of every way to get around them, and... He hadn't tried the door yet...

Kakashi stared at the offending object, a thoughtful expression on his face. Tsunade would never leave the door without a booby trap... Would she? He had never tried to escape from the door before... Well, how could it hurt? Jumping out of bed and slipping his shoes on, Kakashi walked over to the door and placed his hand on the knob. Slowly, he turned it, opening the door cautiously as he checked for traps. Nothing...

Stepping into the hall and shoving his hands in his pockets, Kakashi softly shut the door behind him. Well that was easy... Now should he dare to leave and go and sleep in his own bed or should he just check up on Mitsuki and the kids? Now that he thought about it, he didn't know where Mitsuki's room was nor did he know where the children's ward was located...

It wouldn't be a quick death if he left the hospital totally, but if he just went to get some air he'd probably be fine...

-

-

"What do you think you're doing?" the female voice was scary, seemingly dripping with poison and malleus.

Kajika froze, slowly removing her hand from the door handle. Smiling innocently she turned to Tsunade. "Nothin'!"

"Nothing!?" Tsunade bellowed, glaring at the fox and grabbing her by the front of her tattered kimono. "Nothing!? You had strict orders to watch over Mitsuki! Why aren't you at your post!?"

Kajika sweatdropped. Actually, she'd volunteered to watch Miki, but she wasn't about to point that out... "But she's boring!" she whined instead. "She's just sleeping and I wanted to see those kids Kashi found!"

Tsunade looked at the kitsune warily. "Why?"

"Kashi said he found them in the Abyss... I wanted to know if it was true."

Tsunade frowned, but released her, turning to put a hand on the doorknob. She stood still for a moment before glancing over her shoulder. "What is this abyss exactly?"

Kajika refused to make eye contact, staring at a spot on the wall instead. "A very bad place for very bad people."

"So Kakashi-"

"I dunno."

"...And the children?"

"I dunno."

Tsunade sighed. "Figure out where they're from," she ordered softly, opening the door. "If they're from the abyss we can figure out why they were there later. If not... I want to catch the bastard that starved them."

Kajika nodded and slipped into the room.

-

-

Kakashi stared up at the night sky silently putting together constellations in his head. Hmm… There was Sode Boshi, Mizugame, part of Uo was visible… It was sorta nice, he realized, watching Ryuu slowly move overhead. For some reason Konoha didn't have all that much light pollution tonight making the sky clear and bright. Briefly, he wondered if he should go and get Naruto. While learning to navigate by the stars was taught at the Academy, the boy could probably use a refresher course. He'd probably like the personal attention as well. Kakashi hated to admit it, but he knew he spent most of his time and effort teaching Sasuke these days. He really couldn't help it though, his students reminded him so much of when he was being trained and he didn't want Sasuke to learn to appreciate his teammates the same way he had.

Sighing, Kakashi brushed aside his forehead protector so he was staring at the sky with both eyes. _Obito…_he mentally sighed.

From the other side of the rooftop the door leading to the stairwell opened then closed. _That would be Tsunade, _Kakashi thought to himself, stretching as he sat up. He carefully covered his eye again as he stood, heading towards the light footsteps. He was ready to take his beating for being out of bed.

However, the footsteps didn't come near him. Peering around the giant air conditioner, Kakashi saw a short woman, dressed all in white, leaning over the railing of the building. _A nurse_, he thought, wondering if he should approach her or stay hidden. If he showed himself then Tsunade would know that he'd snuck out of bed and that meant…

Well the nurse was probably just out for a brief smoking break, he could stay hidden until- Wait a minute… He knew her…

Poofing over so he was standing behind her, he tapped her on the shoulder, wincing as she screamed. "Maa," he sighed, grabbing her arm so she didn't fall. "You have a good set of lungs there, Mitsuki-chan."

Mitsuki stared up at him, tightly clutching the pendent of the necklace she wore. "Kakashi-san?" she gasped, eyes wide. "What are you doing up here?"

Kakashi smiled at her, his visible eye curving. "Just watching the stars. What about you?"

Mitsuki pulled her arm away looking uncomfortable. "I wanted to see the moon."

Kakashi glanced up at the sky. "You're out of luck then, the moon's new tonight."

"I know," she sighed, turning to lean over the railing. "I just… Wanted to figure out when it would be visible again."

"Soudesu ne…" They stood a long moment in silence, watching the clouds slowly block out all traces of the stars. Kakashi glanced over at Mitsuki, noticing how she was trembling in the cold night air. "You should go inside," he said softly. "It's cold out tonight."

Mitsuki shook her head. "I'm fine. I really want to stay out here a little bit longer."

Kakashi frowned before pushing himself away from the railing. "Stay here," he instructed firmly. "I'll get you a coat."

She smiled at him as he disappeared down the stairwell before turning back to stare at the night sky. The moon would be visible again starting tomorrow night. It would be weak at first, a mere sliver in the sky, but then… The last cloud had covered up the last star in the sky. Besides the dim lights of the town there were no sources of illumination. She was completely alone.

It wouldn't be that long of a fall, she thought to herself, staring down the side of the building. It was about thirteen stories, but once she started to fall it probably wouldn't seem very long. There was even solid cement at the bottom so she'd die instantly… Plus it was the loading docks of the building… There needn't be any rush to clean up the blood.

She leaned further over the railing. She had awoken in a small, dark hospital room, alone and dying of thirst. However, when she opened the door to the cafeteria she hadn't found what she had been looking for. The entire room had been transformed into a makeshift morgue. There had been bodies everywhere, most covered by stiff white sheets. More horrifying were the spirits that where wandering aimlessly around the room, wailing as they attempted to get back into their bodies. The ghosts had been covered in blood, their eyes wide and disbelieving, the children sobbing for help…

She had run then, letting the door slam behind her as one of the ghosts spotted her and began crying for her to help him. That was when her memories had come back. She remembered the sound of the river as it had flowed past the little hut at night. Her grandfather's laugh, her grandmother's smile… She remembered the tiny white flowers that grew on her grandfather's grave, the tears in grandmother's eyes as they buried him… The same tears that had been in her eyes when her grandmother's blood had been all over her hands, the golden man laughing and yelling at her to tell him where it was as her grandmother's life bled out all over the river bank.

The scream of people as the bombs blew up. Being dragged, then dropped and forgotten so she ran to the kappa to get help. She remembered the way the kappa's eyes had widened as he tackled her to the ground, his falling onto her lap instead of her own head falling into his. The golden man had seemed disappointed, but had laughed as she screamed. He had cooed at her to be a good girl this time and come with him. She could tell him where it was later.

Kajika's roar of pain, her paw nearly severed. Kakashi laying so still. Seeing the white of Naruto's ribs as the blood poured out. Roots pulling Hinata into the ground, burying her. And the entire time… The golden man's laughing as her grandmother screamed. Slowly cutting the old woman apart, piece by piece before letting her fall to the river's bank… Her mother's empty apology, sending her food instead of coming back and getting her…

It would really be so much easier if she died. The golden man couldn't follow her in death. No one else would bleed because of her… Kakashi would be back soon. If she was going to do it, it had to be now…

She leaned further over the rail. If she fell head first she was sure to feel nothing. She took a deep breath. All she had to do was just let go and…

Her hands lost their death grip on the railing and she shrieked as she nearly fell. Scrambling, she regained her balance and pushed herself away, flopping down on the safe cement floor as she stared up at the rail. She couldn't do it. She would never be able to do it. She was a coward and fool and… Covering her face with her hands she sighed deeply. If she couldn't do this then what could she do?

From across the rooftop Kakashi let out a breath he hadn't know he had been holding. When Mitsuki had nearly fallen, he had almost dashed out of the shadows to grab her, but now he was glad that he hadn't. She seemed better now, although she still wasn't crying.

He'd been gone long enough now. Opening the door to the stairwell, he deliberately slammed it, pasting a false smile on his face and curving his visible eye. "Sorry that I took so long," he said brightly. "I couldn't find you a coat, so how's a blanket instead?"

Mitsuki uncovered her face, looking up at Kakashi with sad grey eyes. She smiled weakly at him as he wrapped the blanket around her and helped her stand. "I-I'm ready to go in," she whispered softly, staring up at the sky.

Kakashi nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her towards the stairwell. Suddenly she stopped, staring intently at a particularly bright star. "What is it?" he asked, following her gaze.

"Kakashi... In the stories... Do you know what lives up there? With the stars?"

He shook his head. Ninjas didn't learn such things as myths from long ago. They were more interested in what was real. Things like techniques and chakra and war... But there were things other then that... Things like Kajika, the kappa, the tengu, and the kyuubi. Those were things out of stories that he had met, he knew they were real. Did that mean that other stories were true too? Could there really be a dragon who rules at the bottom of the sea? "No, I've never heard any stories about the sky," he said after a moment.

"The immortals live there," Mitsuki said, her voice soft and dreamy. "They live among the stars in a land that never knows winter or rain. Where it's always spring and where hunger and sickness and death are only things they see when they watch earth."

Was that bitterness in Mitsuki's voice? "Soudesu ka?"

Mitsuki turned to look up at him, her eyes pleading. "But what sort of life is immortality, Kakashi-san? Never knowing fear or pain... Never aging... How do they know they're alive? How do they know that they're human?"

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Mitsuki-chan. It's only a story."

"People think kappas are only a story and... and..."

Kakashi sighed. She was crying now... Smiling, he gently wiped her tears away. "How about this, Mitsuki-chan, when the immortals come to visit I'll bring you to meet them and you can ask them all the questions you want."

She sniffled, smiling faintly. "Baka, they won't come to visit..."

He shrugged, smiling brightly. "Maybe, maybe not. Now let's go inside... It's getting cold out. It might even snow..."

-

-

Kajika rubbed her nose, trying to block out the smell of antiseptics and cleaning supplies. This entire hospital absolutely reeked of cleanliness. Hadn't humans realized that a little dirt did a lot of good for the senses? The odors of clean were almost blocking her ability to smell the children properly. Almost.

Leaning over, Kajika smelled the boy first. Bleck. He smelled like soap… However, underneath the odor of the floral scented soap there was a human smell. She sniffed again. There was the human alright, with an underlying scent of decay and some sort of spicy magic. She frowned. Did that mean that he was from the Abyss? She'd never smelled that kind of magic before so…

The girl next then. Leaning over, Kajika smelled her carefully, concentrating on her neck. The most blood flowed there so she should get a better scent. The spicy magic was on the girl too, Kajika realized, straightening to think about what that meant. Well, she had honestly never smelled the Abyss before so the spice could have been from the Abyss's dimension. Or then again…

"I'm hungry, miss," a small voice said. Kajika glanced down and saw that the boy was awake. "Very hungry."

Kajika nodded briefly, turning to go. "I'll get the old hag to send something in for you," she said softly, opening and shutting the door behind her.

Out in the hall, Tsunade watched the fox carefully. "Well?" she asked, looking at the door.

"The kid's awake and demanding food," Kajika said staring into space. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to write a letter…"

Tsunade frowned as the kitsune suddenly vanished. A lot of help she was… Sighing heavily, Tsunade turned and made her way to the kitchens. It really didn't matter all that much where the kids were from. She was honour bound to take care of them no matter what.

-

-

Uta frowned at Terasu1 as he left their lords chamber. She had heard his lordship screaming at the golden man from halfway across the castle compound, he was obviously not pleased about losing his assassins and his kitsune slave. Although, who would have guessed that Konoha would have a kitsune slave of their own. They had never seen any evidence of their keeping one, and they had destroyed the Kyuubi that had attacked all those years ago...

"Well?" she asked Terasu, following him down the hall.

"You will accompany me tonight," Terasu said, reaching for her arm.

Uta pulled away, glaring at the golden man through dark brown eyes. "No." She valued her life. "What did his lordship have to say?"

"He is not pleased. To have those assassins and the Gobi destroyed was a great tragedy... And to be sent back due to a Nibi and a single ninja? Disgraceful."

_What was disgraceful was the way you were wailing after that single ninja gave you a mere scratch, _Uta thought to herself. Wisely, she didn't voice her thoughts but instead continued with her questioning. "How are we to regain his lordship's favor then?"

Terasu smiled down at her, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "You will find me a new employer, Beloved. One who is much more rich and powerful then this minor lord. I will take care of his lordship."

Uta paled then nodded. They would be fine. There was always someone powerful who wanted what money could not bring them. They'd find a new sucker for immortality soon enough.

"Accompany me tonight Beloved?" His voice was whiny now.

She entered her bedroom, glaring at him as he looked at her hopefully. "No." Shutting the door firmly she sat down at her desk. She needed to write some letters.

-

-

Kakashi glanced out the window at the sky. Hmm... at this rate they were going to be late dropping off the children. Mentally, he smiled slightly. Could there be any correlation between giving the children away to a new home and Kajika insisting that she had to take a shower in the morning? Usually, she bathed at night like most people did but today...

"Kashi-jichan!" Botan whined, flopping down on the couch. "I'm boooored."

"Me too!" Akina squealed, raising her hand. "I'm board too!"

"Maa... Why don't you see how Kajika-chan is doing?"

"Jika-neechan?" The two children glanced at each other. At the same moment they grinned, leaping to their feet and running into the bathroom. "Surprise!" they shouted.

From the bathroom Kajika let out a blood curdling scream followed by a magnitude of curses. "Get the f out you little fing brats!" she screamed a scrub brush flying out of the bathroom to land in the hall.

"Wah! That's a cool face, Jika-neechan! Do it again!"

"GET OUT!"

"Yay! She did it!"

Kakashi shook his head, smiling as he passed the bathroom and went to stand in front of the bedroom door. Kajika had told him that Mitsuki had still been asleep when she'd gotten up. Surely she couldn't had slept through all that noise just now could she? Knocking, he waited for a reply for a moment before just walking in. The girl was still curled up in bed, tears running down her face as she slept. He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Well, if he was the one crying (yeah right...) he wouldn't want to be seen but if she was having a bad dream...

Leaning over, he shook her shoulder until she slowly began to stir. "Jii-chan?"

Grandfather? Could she had been dreaming about her past? "Maa... I'm not that old, Mitsuki-chan... You can drop an 'i' and call me uncle though."

Mitsuki opened her eyes, looking startled as she gazed up at Kakashi's smiling face. "Oh, I'm sorry Kakashi-san," she yawned, rubbing her eyes. "I'll go and make breakfast..."

"Already ate," Kakashi said brightly. "I was just wondering if you'd like to come with Kajika and I to drop off Akina and Botan at their new home."

She stared at the comforter, clenching and unclenching her hands. "I-I don't think so..."

He nodded, standing to go. "I'll buy something for dinner and bring it home," he promised, opening the door.

"Kakashi!"

"Huh?"

"Kawamizu... I mean, the Kappa! What did they do with his body?"

He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. "I think a few doctors brought it to the hospital to do some tests on it," he said after a moment, carefully studying Mitsuki's face. She looked rather desperate... But why?

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Just wondering."

Kakashi nodded, not believing her for a second. "Have a good rest, Mituski-chan."

"Be safe."

-

-

Kakashi glanced up from his book noticing that something was missing. Was it the obento Mitsuki had packed? No, that was resting next to him. Was it Kajika? Nope, that girl was laying on a bench a few feet away, her eyes closed. Was it the bags Tsunade had sent with him? The spare pajamas, the jackets, the toys, and winter clothes? Nope. Had them all...

He was missing the children, wasn't he?

Yup, that was it.

Looking around Kakashi noticed Botan playing on the slides by himself. He frowned. Where was Akina? "Botan?" he called, rising and stuffing his book into a vest pocket. "Where's your sister?"

Botan looked confused for a moment. Although he and Akina had wandered the plane of the Abyss together for many years they weren't related by blood. It confused him for people to think they were related although the two did look a lot alike. "She's over there!" Botan shouted back, pointing to a small alley.

Kakashi blinked. "Why is she playing in the alley?"

"'Cause she said I was stupid then I said she was stupid and then she said I was smelly and I said I wasn't 'cause Miki-oneechan made me take a bath two days ago and I said she was ugly and she said boys were dumb and-"

Kakashi held up a hand, stopping the boys rambling. He'd have to go and collect the girl. If she was hurt in any way Tsunade-sama would kill him. "You say here with Jika-neechan, I'll-"

"You're not leaving me alone with him!" Kajika shouted, suddenly sitting up and glaring at the silver haired ninja. She glared at Botan. "I'll eat him if you leave me with him."

"Jika-neechan!" Botan giggled, beaming at the older girl. "You're funny!"

"I need to get Akina, Kajika-chan."

"I'll get her then," Kajika sighed, jumping to her feet. "I won't take as long," she muttered, running towards the alley.

Her eyes instantly adjusting to the dimmer light, Kajika blinked as she saw a man kneeling down next to Akina and smiling at her. As he watched he handed her a sweet and asked her name. Akina told him and he stood, smiling wider (and eviller in Kajika's opinion) and asked Akina if she'd like to come with him and-

She'd heard enough. Jumping forward Kajika slammed her knee into the man's nose, pausing long enough to let him fall flat on his face before kicking him while he was down. "Don't (kick) solicit (kick) little (kick) children!!!" she bellowed.

The man gasped in pain, struggling to get away as the kitsune moved in for the kill. "I-I was only-" he managed to get out.

"I don't wanna hear it!" Kajika roared, her tails whipping out from under her skirt to grab the man and haul him up over his head. She brought the man down to her eye level and smirked at him. "Say hi to Emma-O 2 for me. He probably misses me." With that she unceremoniously tossed the man down the alley and into several trash cans, smirking as he hit his head against a wall.

Chuckling lowly, Kajika wiped her hands together and smiled brightly. "Heh, try to hit on little kids, will he? I showed him!" She glanced down at Akina, glaring at her girl who was staring at her with wide eyes. "What!?" she snapped.

"Jika-neechan wa sugoi!!!!" Akina cried, reaching out and glomping onto her the kitsune's still visible tails.

"Get off those!!" Kajika shouted, pulling the girl off her tails and holding her away at arm's length. Akina grabbed onto her arm instead, giggling as she clung to the kitsune. Kajika's eyes narrowed, glaring at the child. "I hate you..." she growled, tails disappearing.

Akina laughed as Kajika set her down, kneeling down so she was eye level. "Look kid," she growled, gesturing to the unmoving man. "When some strange guy comes up to you and offers you candy you do _not_ tell him your name and you do _not_ take the candy."

Akina nodded, eyes wide. "What do ya do then Jika-neechan?"

"You scream 'Help pervert!' and start crying. Then, when someone runs up, point to the guy and shout 'He fondled me!'"

Akina bit her thumb. "What's a fondled?"

Kajika tapped the girl on the head and grabbed her hand. "Don't ask questions. Now come on, Kashi's waiting."

"Yay! Kashi-jichan!"

"Little brat, don't let go of my hand! Get back here!"

Iruka stared up at the blue sky above him, ignoring the softness and the stink of the garbage that surrounded him. He was only going to ask the kid if she'd like to come with him so they could find her mommy. Why were people so judgmental?

-

-

Kakashi stood, tucked his book away, and clapped his hands together, catching the attention of his charges. "Time to go," he announced, picking up the bag full of the children's things.

"Already?" Botan whined, jumping off the swing at the top. He look unconcerned as Kajika dove forward, grabbing the boy out of the air and eating sand to stop him from breaking his arm. "Thanks Jika-neechan."

"Fing brat..."

"Do we have to go Kakashi-jichan?"

Kakashi nodded solemnly. "Hai, I promised Tsunade-sama that I'd have you at your new parent's home by two."

Kajika glanced up at the sky. "It's five."

Kakashi glanced at his watch. "No, it's a quarter to two."

Kajika looked over his shoulder, her eyes narrowing. "Your watch is three hours off."

"Can't be."

"Look at the bloody sky!"

He glanced up then smiled brightly at the children. "We're late!"

"Yay!" the children cheered, grabbing onto Kakashi's legs. "Does this mean we can stay with you?"

Kakashi shook his head, pulling out his book again. "Sorry, but Tsunade's already made the arrangements. Your new parents are going to take very good care of you."

"Unlike Kashi who'd eat you while you sleep."

He blinked at her. "...Kajika..."

"It's okay Jika-neechan! I know you'd protect us!" Akina said brightly, grabbing onto Kajika's leg. "You love us!"

"Yup!" Botan agreed, grabbing onto Kajika's other leg. "Jika-neechan is the best!"

Kajika closed her eyes tightly for a long moment looking pained. Then..."I'm gonna fing kill you two!" she roared, chasing a screaming Botan and Akina down the street.

Kakashi didn't even bother to look up from his book as Kajika chased the two children down the block and around a corner. She'd chase them back soon enough. Glancing down at the map Tsunade had given him he picked up the bag of the children's belongings and set off towards the direction Kajika had gone. She'd been chasing the kids the right way.

"Do it again! Do it again!"

"NO!"

Kakashi glanced up from his book as Kajika returned, Botan and Akina hanging off of her arms.

"Do it again!"

"I said no already!"

"Do it again!!"

"NOOO!!" Kajika screamed, bearing her fangs at the children, her eyes glinting dangerously.

"Yay! She did it!!"

Kakashi smiled as Kajika sighed, catching the two kids as Kajika pulled them off of her and threw them forcefully at the jounin. "Keep those brats away from me!" she growled, turning to stalk off.

Akina and Botan glanced at each other before running off to follow the kitsune. Kakashi let them go, mentally grinning. He knew that deep down, Kajika adored the two kids. She wouldn't have insisted on coming with him to drop the two off at their new home if she hadn't.

Kajika was leaning against the wall as Kakashi rounded the next corner. Behind her Botan and Akina were leaning in an identical pose, grinning widely. "Which way?"

"Which way?" Botan and Akina echoed.

"Shut up!" Kajika roared, taking a swipe at them. They dodged and grabbed onto her legs giggling madly.

"Two blocks east, one block south," Kakashi said, tucking away his book. He'd just remembered that Tsunade had forbidden him from reading 'that smut' while the children were present and figured that since they were so late the older woman would be looking for him. Best not to anger her more then she already would be...

"Good," she growled, ignoring Akina as she scrambled up a box so she could jump onto Kajika's back and ride piggy-back style. "I can't wait to get rid of these two."

Botan looked lost for a moment before Kakashi kneeled down and helped the boy scramble onto his back. It wouldn't hurt to carry him and the child did look rather tired...

"Kashi-jichan? Why didn't Miki-neechan come with us?" Botan asked, resting his head on Kakashi's shoulders.

Kakashi sighed, shifting Botan and the large bag's weight so that it was more comfortable. "Mitsuki-chan's been very sad lately, Botan. One of her friends died."

Botan frowned before nodding. "Oh. That's like when Aniki got swallowed by the Abyss, right? You cry and hurt lots?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, it hurts very much when you can no longer see a friend you love."

-

-

Tsunade smiled triumphantly as she managed to ID the individuals heading her way. She'd known it would work! Tell Kakashi a time three hours early and he'd get there right on time! Brilliant! Now where were the kids? She glared at the man came closer. He hadn't forgotten them, had he? That seemed like just the thing Kakashi would do to completely ruin her plan. Forget the kids... The bastard if he had...

All of her angry thoughts ended as soon as she noticed the strange bumps on Kakashi's and Kajika's backs. That was... cute... Somewhere along the way Botan and Akina had fallen asleep forcing Kakashi and Kajika to carry them piggy-back style the rest of the way here. It almost made Tsunade want to rush out there and send the two back. Kakashi could be trusted as the children's guardian and with Mitsuki and Kajika around the two wouldn't go without a mother figure in their lives...

"Is that them?" Nakama Hana asked.

Tsunade glanced over at the plump, anxious woman and she smiled at her warmly. How could she ever think that Kakashi could take the two in? He was a high ranking ninja, unmarried and not likely to be wed anytime soon. Kajika would be leaving in the spring. Mitsuki would probably be taken from them as soon as the people Tsunade had contacted were able to get her. Plus, Kakashi was an unsufferable pervert! He... He read Jiraiya's books for Kami's sake! Who knew what he did when no one was looking!?

The Nakama family were one that Tsunade had been working with ever since she'd gotten here. She'd looked over their file dozens of times before deciding to offer Botan and Akina to them. Ringo was a hardworking successful store owner who had a large house. His wife, Hana, was a housewife and a pillar of society, working on dozens of charitable causes. They'd been trying for children for years, but Hana had been barren and... and...

... And Kakashi with the sleeping children was still so cute...

Tsunade nodded. "That's them."

"Wake up, brats," Kajika growled, unceremoniously setting Akina to her feet. "We're here."

Botan rubbed his eyes, lifting his head from Kakashi's shoulder. "Where?"

"Your new home," Kakashi said cheerfully, letting the boy slide to the ground. He smiled brightly at Tsunade. "Maa, sorry I'm late. A black cat cross my path and I had to-"

"Save it," Tsunade growled, looking more pleased then angry. She kneeled down and smiled at the two children. "Hey there! Want to meet your new parents?"

Botan and Akina looked at the two anxious looking strangers then back at the smiling Kakashi and the glowering Kajika. Akina sniffled. "Y-Yes?"

Tsunade beamed. "Good! Botan, Anika, this is Mr and Mrs Nakama. They'll be taking care of you from now on."

Ringo kneeled down, smiling brightly at his two new children. "Why hello there," he boomed happily. "How are you doing?" he asked, patting Akina on the shoulder.

Akina looked up at him with wide eyes before screaming. "Help pervert!" she shouted, running to hide behind Kakashi. "Kiyaaaa! He fondled-ed me!"

Kakashi sweatdropped and rubbed the back of his head, laughing weakly as Tsunade glared bloody, painful murder at him. Where the hell had she picked that up!?

"BAKA!" Kajika shouted, hitting the girl upside the head. "Don't do that at a time like this!"

Akina looked confused. "But you said-"

Kajika blushed. "Not now!"

"But Jika-neechan..."

"I said not now!"

The children were silent as the adults tried to figure out what had just happened.

"What about-"

"NO!" Kajika screamed, cutting Botan off.

"Yay! She did it!" the children shouted, running to grab onto Kajika's legs.

Hana laughed, breaking the tension, walking up. "Hi there," she said cheerfully. "My name's Hana, but feel free to call me Kaa-san okay?"

Botan looked confused. "Ne, Jika-neechan, why is she asking us to call her Kaa-san?"

Kajika bopped the boy on the head. "BAKA! Haven't you been listening!? These are your new parents!!!"

Botan and Akina glanced at each other before bursting out into tears. "Nee-chan's leaving us!" they wailed, grabbing onto Kajika's legs. "Don't leave us Nee-chan!"

Kajika floundered almost losing her balance. "Ne, ne, Kashi's leaving you too!" she said desperately.

The two held on tighter and wailed louder.

Kakashi sighed, stepping forward and prying the two children off before they could make the kitsune fall. "Listen," he said firmly, tapping the two children on their noses. "Mr and Mrs Nakama have been wanting to meet you for a long time. They want to adopt you and make you part of their family. Now stop crying and turn around and meet them like strong little children."

"But Kashi-jichan...." he whined, grabbing onto the man's arm and holding tight. "We like it with you!"

"You'll like it better with them," Kakashi said firmly, pulling the boy off of him. Gently turning the two around, he gave them a push forward. "We'll come and visit," he promised, grabbing onto Kajika and vanishing them both away.

Sighing with relief Tsunade smiled at the children and managed to herd them into the house with the Nakamas help. They really were going to like this family. They just had to give them a chance.

-

-

"It's unforgivable!" the man shouted, slamming his fist down at the table.

Tsunade sighed, rubbing her brow. The head doctor and the mortician of the hospital had been waiting for her when she'd returned from the Nakama's, both of them screaming about a terrible crime and the punishment it deserved. "Tell me again what happened," she muttered, turning to her office's television. The two men had brought her the security tapes of the area. "Slower this time."

"The body of the creature had not yet arrived so we were beginning the dissection of the head when that nurse," the mortician paused the video to point at the pretty nurse in question. "That nurse told us we had emergency phone calls in the lobby!"

"So? What's the crime in that?" she sighed, her face carefully blank as she studied the tape.

"She stole the head!"

Tsunade nodded, watching the woman carefully wrap the head in cloth and gently place it in a bag.

"She even stole the elixir!"

It was true, the glass bottle containing the fluid from the kappa's hollow skull was the next thing to go in the bag. Then the nurse left without looking back once.

Tsunade frowned. "Hmm, this is serious. Rest assured doctor, I will have a team of ninjas sent out at once to locate this individual and bring her to justice." She waved her hand, dismissing them. "I'll keep you posted."

"Thank you Hokage-sama!"

Tsunade nodded waiting until they had shut the door behind them before sighing heavily. The least Mitsuki could have done was avoid the security cameras. She removed the tape from the VRC tossing into a bin for documents that were to be destroyed. Now all she had to do was send a fictional team out and keep Mitsuki away from the hospital until the two men had forgotten about her. _The things I do..._ she mentally sighed pulling out the required paperwork. Sending out the newly created Team 39 she jotted down a note for Shizune to create a few status reports in her spare time. There. She yawned realizing half an hour had gone by. Damn, paperwork did take forever...

After a quick knock, Shizune opened the office door holding a bag in one hand and a note in the other. "Tsunade-sama, someone named Mitsuki dropped this off for you."

Tsunade blinked, reaching out to accept the objects. "Is she still here?"

"Iie. She said something about needing to be back home and left."

She nodded, setting the bag on her desk and pulling out of it a clear glass bottle filled with a transparent liquid. "Thank you, Shizune," Tsunade said opening the note. Written in clear, precise kanji were the words 'For Emergency's Only.' She frowned at the smudges that were dirt and the one stain that was surely tears. Had Mitsuki buried the kappa all by herself? She was sure Kakashi would have helped her if she'd asked. For that matter, Kakashi would have helped her steal the kappa's head and body as well.

Or maybe not... He was one of Konoha's most loyal and dedicated ninjas after all. If he thought that not knowing how that kappa worked would somehow hurt Konoha he probably would have stopped Mitsuki from burying her friend...

Or maybe he'd help her anyway... Tsunade remembered the worried look Kakashi had on his face every time Mitsuki had spoken or laughed while being discharged from the hospital. How he had stuck close to her side and silently steered the children towards Kajika whenever a tired look crossed her face.

Rubbing her brow, Tsunade went back to her paperwork wondering when and if the ones she'd contacted would come. If they didn't show up soon then... Well, then they wouldn't have anything to bring back with them now would they?

-

-

-

-

-

1. Uta is a girl's name meaning poem. Terasu is how a shortened Amaterasu-Omikami, the Shinto goddess of the sun... I know that means that the golden man is named after a chick, but I couldn't find any nice sounding Japanese names for Sun that were male so I took the lazy way out....

2. Emma-O is the Japanese ruler of Hell. He rules over all the people who die and go to hell until all their bad karma is used up and they can be reborn. What? They're Buddhist/Shinto! No stage of life or afterlife is permanent unless you reach blissful enlightenment. (I so hope I got that right... The last thing I need is to confirm stereotypes and get a lot of angry Buddhists on my case.)

Trash Can Fu: If I give you a dollar will you stop reviewing? Jeepers cripes woman! Use my livejournal if you want to bitch at me! And those other words were not made up… They were Latin, German, and Spanish for whore, evil, and ugly.

Fade-sempai: Maa… You'll find that out later. It has everything to do with the golden man though…

AznNarutoGrl-91: Quite. If you turn around and see it then it can see you and will promptly devour you, completely destroying even your soul. If you don't turn around it still devours everything about you leaving you an empty shell… Yup, that's pretty much a good picture of hell…

nezuko: You stayed half the night up for this? I'm touched, really I am… Now I feel better since often I spend half the night typing up a chapter. (Homework is devouring all my time…)

miako: It's people like you that give people like me large egos. Excuse me a moment while I hunt that ego down and beat it senseless with a baseball bat.

Sky Spade: stares at screenOpens mouth and enters foot Oops… Thank you for pointing that out. I'll change that ASAP.

Dragon Man 180: Don't worry, just because Kajika is an original character doesn't mean that she's going to get her way. I'm going to have to warn you though, she's going to try her hardest to get what she wants.


	15. The Hatake, Uchiha Fanclubs!

I think I'm going to die of shame... Or kill someone...

An individual who shall not be mentioned (My little sister) managed to guess my password and posted their own chapter up... This... Well, I'm a little speechless since I can't fully grasp that my sister would do such a thing, but then again she did send me an e-mail telling me to check my story... Since I have no idea how long that chapter was up before I found out and took it down I have no idea how much damage control I need to do. Let me assure you though, that was _not_ the chapter that I wrote. In fact it in no way resembles the chapter I wrote. Kakashi would never do drugs or push helpless people off cliffs. I endorse nothing of that chapter!

Okay... I'm still a little freaked that something like that was posted... Calming down now...

In other news, it was almost a good thing that chapter was posted. Because of it I typed nonstop every moment outside of class and finished this chapter for an apology. It's not proofread at all, it probably has far more mistakes in it then usual... But it's up...

On a lighter note, I might be able to post up a chapter or two relatively soon. My school starts Winter Carnival on Wednesday so I'll have a four day weekend with no homework to do stuff. I'll admit it though... I'm sorta obsessed with drawing maps now so I may sorta... slack off... and draw maps... of made up places... 'Cause it's fun... Plus there's this one online game... I'm not making any promises...

Chapter 14: The Hatake, Uchiha Fanclubs!

Snow piled on the ground two feet thick, the sky was grey, and the smell of chocolate hung heavy in the air… It was Valentines Day tomorrow. Everywhere, stores were packed with anxious housewives and young girls who didn't have the time or skills to make their own chocolates. Boys were smirking as they glanced out their windows, secretly placing bets among themselves on who would get the most chocolate this year. A few men were checking their bank accounts. They had to start planning for White Day now. After all, who knew what their girlfriends would do if they didn't get anything to brag about to their friends?

On the other hand there were some who weren't looking forward to Valentines Day. The unpopular, the ugly, the mean, and Uchiha Sasuke were all dreading the terrible day. In fact, if one was to sneak into Sasuke's apartment you could find the boy staring at his ceiling thinking about exactly how much he loathed the holiday.

He hated Valentines Day more then Christmas. On Christmas his stalkers just wanted to spend a bit of time with him, do the whole wandering around thing like they were a couple. On Valentines Day they wanted to give him things. Then there was White Day… He groaned just thinking about it. Dozens of girls watching intently, the few who had succeeded in forcing him to accept their chocolate expectantly waiting to see who would get the best gift… Kami, he hated holidays!

Kakashi had refused to give them the day off too! He said that since ninjas were on call all 366 days a year he couldn't get them into the habit of having every holiday off.

"There's only 365 days a year," Sakura had pointed out a moment later.

Kakashi had smiled at her pleasantly. "Plus overtime."

So he was forced to exit his apartment in order to go to training. All he wanted to do was bar his doors and windows to hide away from all those stupid girls and their stupid candies! Ino would probably stalk him all day… And Sakura…. Kami! He had to train with her! Tomorrow was going to be hell.

-

-

_Tomorrow's going to suck,_ Naruto thought to himself, his head bowed as he walked down the street. Valentines Day had always been his least favorite holiday… He never even had a girl like him before! Maybe he should just buy himself a box of chocolates and tell everyone a girl gave them to him?

… Nah, Sasuke-bastard would see right throught that.

Well… Maybe this year could be different… Sakura might give him chocolates! They did train together after all! And Mitsuki-neesan might give him chocolates too! Homemade chocolates! She was always making him good food to eat and he was sure that chocolates weren't that hard to make! Hell, he'd be glad even if Kajika gave him chocolates and she only like him because of the Kyuubi in his stomach!

Yes, he'd probably get chocolates this year. That would be good! Maybe Valentines Day wouldn't be so bad after all…

-

-

There were five girls in his kitchen. Two of them were screaming at each other, two were diligently working with terrible results, and one looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. If this was any indication of how Valentines Day was going to go then tomorrow was going to be hell. Putting his book aside Kakashi entered the war zone (kitchen) and cautiously cleared his throat. "Need any help?"

Mitsuki looked up at him, relief evident on her face. "Hai," she said miserably, gesturing to Ino and Sakura. "Could you…Please make them stop fighting. They won't listen to me."

Kakashi nodded sympathetically and pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. "What's this?" he said loudly, feigning shock. "Sasuke ran off with a stripper from Hong Kong because she's carrying his child?"

"WHAT?" Sakura and Ino shrieked looking horrified.

Kakashi smiled at them. "Joking! Maa… If you can't stop fighting then I'll have to ask you to leave."

Sakura and Ino glanced at each other before nodding. "Gomen nasai, Kakashi-sensei. We won't do it again."

"Done!" Kajika shouted, slamming down her spoon. "Miki look! My chocolate is done and in the mold! Aren't I great?"

Mitsuki glanced down at the mold, blink a couple of times. "Kajika-chan… why is your chocolate green?"

Kajika blinked. "…Because it always was green?"

"Demo… We started with dark chocolate."

"Sooo…"

"Dark chocolate is dark brown… nearly black."

Kajika blinked, staring at her chocolate. "Maybe it wanted to be green?"

"M-Mitsuki-san," Hinata whispered, looking up from her pot. "N-Now w-what do I do?"

Mitsuki patted the fox on the shoulder before glancing at Hinata's work. The girl had been having some problems since she had never cooked before, but now that Mitsuki had shown her how to turn on the stove, boil water, melt chocolate, and not kill anyone during the process (Kakashi had to put out three small fires during the teaching progress) she seemed to be doing fine. "Looks good, Hinata-chan," Mitsuki said, smiling. "Now, carefully pick up the bowl and pour the chocolate into the mold you want."

"Looks, good Hinata-chan," Kajika mockingly growled under her breath, cleaning out her bowl so she could start over for the fifth time. "Why is she here anyway?"

Kakashi sighed, opening his book up. He didn't understand why the kitsune didn't seem to like the mild mannered girl, he didn't even know how it had started. All he knew was that Kurenai would be pleased to know that Hinata had been at his apartment learning how to make chocolate. It meant that she liked someone… But who? "Maa… Settle down, Kajika-chan. She's only trying to impress the boy she likes."

Kajika sniffed loudly, filling a pot with water and fitting the bowl into it to make a double boiler. "That's why my chocolate has to be better!" she growled, forcefully throwing her choice of bits of chocolate into her bowl.

Kakashi blinked. "Why? Aren't you going to give your chocolate to Naruto?"

Kajika stared at him for a long moment. "YOU'RE EVEN DUMBER THEN HE IS!" she suddenly shouted, throwing the entire pot at the masked man.

Kakashi dove for cover, the boiling water narrowly missing his face. "Maa... Don't be so violent, Kajika-chan."

"THEN DON'T BE SO DUMB!"

"Kajika-chan!" Mitsuki gasped, reaching up to pull the chair out from the kitsune's hands before she could throw it at Kakashi. "What's going on here?"

Kajika pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Kashi was being dumb!" she whined accusingly. "_Plus _he said several disparaging things about my mother!"

"Nani?"

"See! That's European Goblin for your mamma's ugly!"

Everyone blinked. Mitsuki opened and closed her mouth a few times before sighing deeply. "Kakashi-kun, can we speak outside for a moment?"

He shrugged. "Fine."

"You believed that story?" Sakura and Ino shouted together looking horrified.

Mitsuki waved them away pointing to the stove. "Ino-chan, Sakura-chan, your chocolate is getting too hot and is burning."

The two girls shrieked as Mitsuki and Kakashi went out into the hall, Kajika blinking in amazement as they left. "Damn," she muttered to herself. "Mitsuki bought that?"

Shyly, Hinata looked over at the older girl. Pressing her fingers together she stepped over, gazing at the ground. "A-Ano... Ka-Kajika-san..."

Kajika glanced over at her before turning to play with the molds on the table. "What?"

"I-I...Gomen nasai!"

She raised an eyebrow, looking over her shoulder. "Huh?"

"I-I've felt really g-guilty ever since N-New Years about what I-I said and... Gomen."

Kajika blinked before smiling devilishly. "Heh! You think I still remember all that? Baka na Hinata-chan!"

Hanata blinked, looking confused. "But I said all those terrible things!"

"So? I'm not a very warm person, I'm not kind, and if I have human compassion then I'm a traitor to my species!" she put her hands on her hips, turning to fully face Hinata. "Baaa-ka!"

Hinata frowned, still confused. Hadn't Kajika just said she didn't remember what she had said? "Demo..."

"Jeeze! Still on that old topic! You're always dwelling on the past, no wonder you're going to lose, ya baka!"

Hinata straightened looking determined. "I'm not going to lose."

"Uh-huh... Yeah... We'll see about that tomorrow."

Brow set in determination, Hinata nodded firmly and waited for her chocolate to cool. Tomorrow Naruto would finally realize that she, not Kajika, really truly liked him! She paled at the mere thought of it. She had to be strong! Tomorrow would be an important day for her... Tomorrow...

-

-

"Well?" Kakashi asked, leaning against the wall.

Mitsuki looked up at him pleadingly, clasping her hands together. "Can you please be a little nicer to Kajika?"

Kakashi blinked. She had believed that bogus story? "Maa... Mitsuki-chan I-"

"I know you didn't say anything mean to her," she interrupted, flushing slightly. "However, could you please not mention anything about Naruto-kun? It's a really touchy subject with her right now."

"I noticed," he commented dryly. "Demo, I wasn't talking about Naruto... When Kajika got all upset I was talking about Hinata-chan."

Mitsuki winced. "Even worse."

Kakashi blinked. Did that mean she knew why Kajika and Hinata didn't get along? "Why? What's so bad about that?"

"Well you know... Naruto-kun... Kajika... Hinata-chan..." she formed a triangle shape with her fingers.

Despite his years of reading the Icha Icha series Kakashi stared at her blankly. "What does a triangle have to do with Kajika and Hinata-chan?"

Mitsuki blinked up at him, dumbly. He really hadn't picked up on it? What... How... She sighed, well, he was a boy... "Never mind, Kakashi-kun. It's not that important."

Kakashi shrugged and pulled out his book. The love triangle with Junko, Kimo, and Rin was getting really interesting now... "Maa... Whatever you say."

She smiled up at him brightly. "Don't worry Kakashi-kun!" she said brightly. Kakashi smiled down over the edge of his book. She thought he was worried? Anything but... "It'll all blow over after tomorrow."

_Yeah... Tomorrow..._

-

-

Valentines Day dawned like any other day. The sun came up in the east as usual. The few birds that hadn't migrated sang, the snow sparkled, the clouds were white and fluffy in the winter sky... Yup, a perfectly normal day...

Until you noticed the line around Sasuke's house. The girls from the Uchiha Fanclub had arrived early that day, some arriving at five in the morning or earlier to get a spot close to the door. Few ever got to give _the_ Uchiha Sasuke chocolates on Valentines Day and they wanted to better their chances by being early in case Sasuke took an early start. So they arrived early, waiting anxiously in the cold winter air and tightly holding the pretty boxes filled with the chocolates they had so painstakingly made.

But they had been outwitted.

Leaving at 11pm the night before, Sasuke had spent the night at the training grounds and was now well hidden, waiting fo Kakashi-sensei to show up and start their training. They couldn't very well give him chocolates in the middle of training now could they?

Right?

-

-

Naruto yawned as he woke up, stretching. He glanced outside. It was really beautiful weather! Today was going to be a great day!

... Or was it?

Today was Valentines Day wasn't it? He groaned in disappointment, flopping back down into bed. He hated Valentines Day... If only someone would give him chocolates...

Thinking back to yesterday, Naruto remembered that there might be a few that would give him chocolates this year. If no one else, Kajika would... And Mitsuki-neesan might even if he wasn't her boyfriend. Just one box of chocolate would do, no just one piece of chocolate would be fine! Anything to show that he hadn't been forgotten again!

Well, he wasn't going to get any chocolate by staying in bed all day... Time to get up...

-

-

The Hatake Fanclub was much more toned down then the Uchiha Fanclub for many reasons. First, the women in Kakashi's fanclub were older. Second, they had more experience. Surrounding the jounin's apartment, waiting for him to come out usually ended up with him leaving through some unknown way. Mobbing him at a set location ended up with him escaping via rooftop despite all the girls shouting his name (for some reason he believed that they were all saying good morning at the same moment). Getting a ninja friend to 'attack' you only resulted in Gai appearing and rescuing you.

Through experience the best way to give Kakashi chocolate was to wait in small groups of five or less at different points along his path. Not everyone managed to catch him even then, but it was much better odds for all those involved.

Kakashi eyed the bags Mitsuki and Kajika were carrying with a bit of suspicion. After dinner the two had refused to allow him into the kitchen, busily finishing last minute preparations for today. In the end, Kajika was carrying an lavishly decorated box with two smaller plainer ones while Mitsuki was only carrying the usual bag which held the stack of obentos that would feed everyone lunch. He had been rather surprised at that. With all the teaching and trials she had went through yesterday, teaching those four girls how to make chocolates, he had thought that she would have had the time to make some to give out herself... Then again she could have been sick of making chocolate...

"Ka-Ka-SHIIII!" a voice shouted from the rooftops.

Not looking up from his book Kakashi held up a hand in greeting. "Yo."

"Your new age response will not affect me today, Hatake Kakashi!" Gai shouted, leaping down from the rooftops. "Today we will break our long standing tie of 57-57!" He took a deep breath doing a dramatic pose. "Kakashi... Today we shall compete over who will get the most gifts of chocolate from the glittering jewels of Konoha!"

Kakashi glanced up. "Chocolate?" he cocked his head. "Maa... Is that today?"

Gai blinked at him before breaking down and crying. "Ah my rival! Too cool to recognize the most important holiday to a man! How worthy he is!" Regaining his composer Gai straightened doing another pose. "Now my rival, the beginning tally! As of now, I Maito Gai have... Two gifts of chocolate!"

Mitsuki blinked, reaching into her bag. "Ah, Gai-kun. I got you one too."

Gai beamed triumphantly as Kakashi continued to read. So she had had the time to make some chocolates...

"This makes three Kakashi!"

...Where were his then?

"Kakashi?"

He glanced up from his book. "Were you saying something Gai?" He smiled pleasantly as Gai collapsed wailing about his hip and cool rival. He glanced at his watch. "Maa... Have to be going. Training to do."

Gai nodded understandingly. "Until later my Eternal Rival! The Flames of Youth will defeat you!"

Kakashi nodded, waving slightly as Gai bounded off. Without a word he continued on, nose buried in his book. Behind him, Mitsuki and Kajika were talking softly as they followed.

"That guy's nuts..."

Mitsuki's soft voice replying. "Gai-kun is Kakashi-kun's friend though."

"...I think that says something about Kashi... Why did you give him chocolate anyway?"

"He's a friend."

"He's nuts."

"He's a good friend though." Mitsuki sounded a bit defensive there.

Kakashi racked his brain, thinking back. When had Mitsuki started calling Gai 'kun?' ...Since she first met him? She'd only started calling him 'kun' all the time recently.

"Hatake-san!" three voices called out in chorus, feet coming into his view.

Putting his book away, Kakashi smiled at the three woman standing in front of him. "Ohayou."

The women giggled like school girls, blushing and holding their boxes of chocolate to their chests. "Ohayou!" Oh dear... This was why he wasn't fond of Valentines Day... The giggling girls trying to get him to accept their creations... The hopeful looks... The tears... Usually, he always let Gai win this particular competition... Gai...

This year he was going to beat Gai. In fact, he was simply going to crush him. There were always at least fifteen girls who tried to get him to accept their gifts. The most Gai ever got was five, maybe six this year with Mitsuki's... Yes, this year he was going to win.

Was that Kajika growling behind him?

"Maa... Nice weather we're having..." This was awkward... He'd never actively tried to get chocolates before... How did one go about it?

"Yup!" one of them laughed, beaming brightly at him. "But not as nice as the scenery!" The other girls laughed and Kakashi laughed along with them, feeling awkward.

"Is there anything I can do for you ladies?"

The women giggled again glancing at each other. "Ano... Hatake-san we were wondering if-"

Like a sudden bolt of lighting she came diving forward to wrap her arms around Kakashi's neck. "He doesn't want any!" Kajika bellowed, baring her fangs. "Now scram!"

The women froze looking crestfallen. "Sumimasen... We didn't know you had a girlfriend..."

"She's not-"

"I'M NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!" Kajika screamed taking a swipe at the women who shrieked and scattered. "Now get out of here!"

Kakashi sighed. There went that opportunity... Well, there'd be others. Now what was up with Kajika? "Maa... That wasn't very nice, Kajika-chan."

"That wasn't very nice?" Kajika repeated looking amazed. Balling her hands up into fists she threw a couple punches at the jounin, ignoring the fact that she was missing worse then usual. "NOT NICE? You _DUMBASS_!" He could almost hear the multiple exclamation marks.

He sighed. "Now what's the matter, Kajika?"

"What's the matter? I'll tell you what's the matter!" Her punch to the jaw almost connected that time, he'd have to be more careful. "You, Hatake Kakashi are a heartless, brainless, kami damn..." she trailed off, blinking at something beyond Kakashi's shoulder. "SHE'S GONE!"

Kakashi blinked. "Who-"

"Miki you sick demented freak!" Kajika bellowed in his ear.

He looked around the clearing, ignoring the massive amounts of people staring at them. Where had that girl gone? More importantly, when had she left and why hadn't he realized she was gone before now? As a ninja he was supposed to be in tune with all of his surroundings. How had he missed a non-ninja leaving? For that matter, how did he miss Kajika aiming a kick to his head until it was almost too late to dodge?

He dodged it anyway by grabbing her leg and forcefully pushing it away. However, instead of regaining her center of balance like she usually did, Kajika flopped onto the ground to glare up at him. "This is all your fault," she growled, getting up and brushing snow and slush off of her skirt.

"My fault?"

"YES!" she shouted, her glare intensifying. "If you hadn't chased ass then you wouldn't have made Miki sad!"

Wait a second... Mitsuki was sad? ...And when had he been 'chasing ass' as Kajika had so kindly put it. "She probably just went ahead," Kakashi said pulling out his book again.

"She better have," Kajika growled, knocking the book out of Kakashi's hand. She glared as Kakashi effortlessly caught the book with his foot and bounced it back up into his hands before it could fall into the slush. "If she's not there then I'm going to eat you."

Kakashi nodded, following Kajika as she stalked down the street, growling at anyone who dared approach. Really, what had he done anyway?

-

-

Mitsuki hummed as she made her way down the street. Really, it was such a nice day... The sun was relatively warm against her skin... There was a refreshing cold breeze from the east... It-

Oh forget it, she was ticked and she knew it. She didn't know why but those girls flirting with Kakashi had made her... They'd made her... She muttered something vulgar under her breath and kicked a chunk of ice down the street. They'd made her so angry! And somehow very, very sad. She'd been angry because those girl didn't know the slightest thing about Kakashi! All they knew was that he was an eligible bachelor and that he handsome... Probably. You couldn't really tell under that mask.

None of them knew his favorite meal or what sort of shampoo he used or him showing her around town or how he'd sat up all night the time she'd had that fever or how he was always misplacing his kunai in the bathroom or... or...

Those sorts of thoughts led to other memories. His laugh after he'd come back from the Abyss. The look in his eyes after going to the reconstructed memorial for Konoha's heros. The time he'd gone on a walk with her through the forest and dropped a flower on the kappa's hidden grave without asking her where it was first. The blood under his fingernails after he'd vanished one night and his pathetic lie saying that he'd cut himself shaving.

Kakashi... She and Kakashi... She...

She would be so easy to replace. She'd seen the fury in Kajika's eyes before she left and known why the kitsune had been so upset. The kitsune had been around humans too long, she was starting to act too human. When Kajika had first come to Konoha she had slept on the floor in her fox form while Mitsuki took up the bed. Then she had moved up to the foot of the bed in a smaller form. Later she'd slept with her in human form, stiffly keeping to her side of the bed. Now she'd cling to Mitsuki in her sleep occasionally whispering 'Kaa-san' between snores.

Life in the forest was different then human life, even if one was a kitsune. Once the pup was able to fend for itself it was sent off to find its own territory and the mother had another litter. Kajika had been spending far too much time in human form. She was beginning to understand the forever part of human marriage... She was beginning to forget that life was that only the strong survive to reproduce. Mitsuki was weak for a human, she couldn't defend herself. Kakashi could. In her now human logic Kakashi's sole job was defending Mitsuki forever, anything contrary to that was a threat to her friend. But there was so much more to it then that.

Mitsuki had tried to explain love to Kajika several times. However, the concept was too alien to the kitsune, she couldn't fully grasp it. And Kakashi...

There were prettier girls, ones who were better cooks too. There were other girls that would clean his home and do the grocery shopping. Girls that could defend themselves. Girls who weren't being hunted for a reason they didn't know.

Mitsuki froze in midstep, staring into space. Oh kami... Baa-chan! She had to-

She took a deep breath, calming down. Baa-chan was probably dead, she'd just have to accept that. No one could have bled that much and still be alive. However, she doubted that the golden man or any of his minions would be respectful enough to bury her. Mitsuki paled. Baa-chan's spirit was probably wondering the forests of their home unable to find rest. If she didn't hurry into the afterlife she might not find Jii-chan in time for them to be reincarnated together!

She had to go. She had to find her old home and find Baa-chan's remains. Kakashi had told her once that he had found her by pulling her out of a river, right? Well, she'd need to do some research but the only river she knew of was fairly near to the gates of Konoha. She didn't know where it led though. She didn't even know where her home even was. All she knew was that it was on the banks of a river in the most beautiful forest mortal eyes could imagine.

Kakashi would be fine and so would Kajika. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura... They'd all be fine. She could simply leave them all and they would be able to continue on in peace...

Wait, wait... She was getting ahead of herself. It was still winter! She was rather chilled just walking around outside, she'd freeze to death if she spent the night in the snow. There was no choice, Baa-chan would have to wait until spring. Perhaps that would be for the best. In the meantime she'd be able to teach Kajika how to cook a few meals and show Kakashi how to properly do his laundry (the man was always mixing his whites and darks together). She could even... Find a replacement for herself...

"M-Mitsuki-san? Ohayou."

Mitsuki glanced up to smile at Hinata. "Hinata-san! Ohayou! I'm sorry I didn't greet you earlier, I didn't realize you were standing there."

Hinata nodded, smiling weakly. She was used to not being noticed. "I-It's alright. It l-looked like you were t-thinking about something important." She paused looking around. "W-Where's Kakashi-se-sensei and K-Kajika-san?"

Mitsuki glanced behind her. They still hadn't caught up? "They're just lagging a bit behind," she said smiling warmly. "Since they're not here would you like to come with me to the training grounds?" Her smile widened. "Naruto should be there."

Instantly Hinata's face turned tomato red and she nodded slightly, not trusting herself to speak.

Mitsuki laughed quietly, patting the girl on the arm. "It's alright, Hinata-san. He'll be delighted to get a homemade treat from one of the prettiest girls in Konoha."

If anything, Hinata's blush deepened.

-

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Okay, really tired now... Part two should be up in a day or two... Valentines Day at the latest. (Yawns) I am trying to keep up with the holidays after all to show the Japanese side of different celebrations. Also, if anyone was confused about the mentions of White Day e-mail me and I'll send you a full explination. I'll have part of a chapter for White Day, but since we have nothing like it in America then it's kinda confusing for an American to grasp.

Basically: On Valentines Day all the girls give guys chocolate (regular milk chocolate or dark, no white chocolate). A month later on White Day all the guys who got chocolate give the girls something white (panties, bras, dresses, or jewlery for girlfriends. white chocolate or bath stuff for co-workers/friends). It's a huge deal in Japan for guys. Status depends on how much chocolate you get from how many admirers.


	16. VDay Take Two

Hi, my name is Jade and I'm a ROSE addict... It started out so innocently. My friend told me about this MMORPG called ROSE and I thought 'hey, I'll try that...' I was fine until I hit level ten and then the obsession started in. I began to gain a level or more a day, becoming obsessed with stats and Dealer skills. I began dreaming of killing moles... And as my social life and personal hygiene began to deteriorate I began to realize what a sad, sad individual I was... So I wrote this chapter instead!

As promised, and a day late, the chilling (AND VERY SHORT) conclusion of this tale of horror...

What?

Valentines Day is a scary holiday... Really...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chapter 15: V-Day Take Two

_Junko looked at Kimo with tears in her eyes. "Kimo-kun! You must understand me! I didn't mean anything by giving Akiyama those chocolates! Please forgive me!"_

**_Maa, they were only obligatory chocolates,_**1 Kakashi thought to himself, turning the page. Jiraiya-sama's February issue was the most exciting ever! Rin had tricked Kimo into seeing Junko give her boss, Akiyama, chocolates and Kimo was furious, since he hadn't gotten chocolates from Junko yet. This could be the end of their relationship! **_It's not that big of a deal._**

_Kimo frowned down at Junko, running a hand through his dark, short hair. "Junko I... I think we should begin seeing other people," he said softly gazing into the distance. "I-I got a lot of offers from girls wanting to be my girlfriend today... And we're just not working out, Junko..."_

"_You're thinking of going back to Rin aren't you?" Junko demanded, sobbing loudly. "No! I won't let you! I love you Kimo-kun!" she shouted, throwing her arms around him. "I'll do anything to keep you! Anything..."_

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING LIKE THAT?" Kajika shrieked, breaking into Kakashi's thoughts.

Kakashi sighed, tucking the book away in his pocket. "Smiling like what, Kajika-chan?" he asked, glancing at the sun. They were almost to the bridge and he was only an hour late. It was a record...

"Like... Like some sorta pervert who wandered into the woman's changing room!" Kajika growled, eyeing him knowingly. "It's that book isn't it?"

Kakashi smiled at her cheerfully. "What book?"

"The porno..." she trailed off sighing. "Never mind..."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. The kitsune had stopped mid-rant? "Daijoubu?"

She glanced up at him, an almost nervous look on her face. "Giving chocolates is a human thing, right?" she asked suddenly, rushing the words. "Boys know that a girl likes him if she gives him chocolates, right?"

Uh oh... He didn't like the way this conversation was heading. "Ano... I suppose..." One more turn in the path and they'd be at the bridge. Then he could direct all the kitsune's questions to Mitsuki who would actually know how to answer them.

"And when the boy knows that the girl likes him then he starts to like her back, right?"

"Sometimes..."

"So-" She stopped dead in her tracks as the bridge came into view. Violently muttering obscenities, Kajika tossed her packages of chocolate to the ground, and plopped onto the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees.

Kakashi blinked, puzzled by the kitsune's reaction and carefully studied the scene. Ino and Sakura were shouting loudly at each other about who was going to give Sasuke chocolate while Mitsuki was trying to calm the two down. From the looks of it she'd been unsuccessfully trying for some time, but at least she'd gotten here safely. On the far side of the bridge Naruto and Hinata were talking together, their faces red from the cold. Wait... Hinata?

He mentally groaned. Of all the boys in Konoha, why did Hinata have to join the group fawning over Sasuke? The boy hated it and the girls were always interrupting training with their attempts to get Sasuke to go out with them. Well, Hinata was from a noble family. Perhaps if given the chance she could win the Uchiha boy's heart?

Naruto's face turned redder as Hinata suddenly bowed, shoving a small package into his hands. Without a word, the girl turned and ran off, hurrying past him and somehow dodging Kajika as the kitsune tried to trip her. Really, what did Kajika have against Hinata anyway? The Hyuuga was well bred, polite, kinda cute in a wall flower sort of way... Then again she had charged Naruto to give Sasuke the chocolate for her... That wasn't exactly the best thing to do.

"Ohaiyou!" Kakashi called merrily, his shout interrupting Sakura and Ino's fight. "Maa... Sorry I'm late, Kajika was having a fit over getting a rabies shot and-"

"GOD DAMN LIER!" Kajika shrieked, suddenly pulling off her shoes and throwing them at the jounin.

He dodged it easily, mentally making a note to have Mitsuki scold Kajika for throwing things later. Right now he had training to start. Silently, he surveyed the group, not noticing that Mitsuki was refusing to meet his eyes. "Maa... Where's Sasuke-kun?"

Ino and Sakura pouted over the mention of that name, looking cute. "We don't know, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura supplied helpfully.

Ino glared at her. "He's probably hiding from you and your shitty chocolate, Wide-Forehead."

"No, he's hiding from your ugly mug, Ino-pig!"

And with that the two were fighting again, screaming insults at each other. Mitsuki stepped forward to stop them but the stopped, sighing. Instead she turned to Naruto, smiling at the boy. "Ohaiyou, Naruto-kun! Had a good day so far?"

Naruto blushed, grinning at the older girl. "Ne, ne, Mitsuki-neechan! Look at what Hinata-chan gave me!"

"Looks homemade too," Mitsuki said, grinning back at the boy.

"You think so?"

Kakashi blinked. Wait... Those chocolates were from Hinata to... Naruto? That meant... That meant that shy little Hinata who Kurenai was always so worried about had a crush on Naruto? He blinked again. "Hinata likes Naruto?" he muttered quietly, still puzzled.

"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST IDIOT _EVER_!" Kajika shrieked, her sensitive hearing picking up the jounin's mutter. Uprooting a tree she aimed briefly and threw, Kakashi jumping to the side to avoid the tree's thick branches. Unconcerned that she'd missed, Kajika rushed in to attack all the while shouting about how Kakashi was the most brainless man alive.

Back on the bridge, Naruto, Ino, Mitsuki, and Sakura sweatdropped as they watched the two fight, the kitsune actually connecting a few times as Kakashi fought her off. "Bah," Sakura scoffed, folding her arms. "Half the village knew Hinata-chan liked Naruto. It was sooo obvious."

Ino nodded in agreement as Naruto choked in surprise. "Ho-Honto ni?"

"Well, duh!" Ino sighed, rolling her eyes. "Why do you think she was always following you?"

Naruto blinked. "She was following me?"

Mitsuki laughed, patting the boy on the head and danging a small red box in front of his eyes. "Happy Valentines Day, Naruto-kun."

Naruto grinned, eagerly snatching the box from her hands. "Yatta! That makes two!"

Kajika glanced over at the pair, not noticing Kakashi's fist aimed for her face. _Dammit! Even Mitsuki gave Naruto chocolate before I did!_ she mentally growled.

Kakashi also glanced over, distracted, and didn't notice Kajika's knee coming up towards his stomach. _Gai and Naruto got chocolates? What about-_

Both attacks connected, Kajika and Kakashi both flying back from the force and hitting a tree and a bolder respectively. "Itai..."

Mitsuki gasped, rushing forward. "Are you alright?" she asked, kneeling down. "Kajika?"

Kajika moaned, looking pathetic. "Kakashi hurt me!" she wailed childishly, throwing her arms around Mitsuki and sticking her tongue out when the older girl wasn't looking.

Kakashi sighed, drumming his fingers on his knee. Today wasn't going good. First he hadn't gotten any chocolate and now this? _Maa... Why do I want chocolate anyway?_ he thought, getting up and brushing himself off. _I've never wanted any before..._ He glanced briefly over at Mitsuki and Kajika then at Naruto who was proudly holding his two boxes of chocolate. His eyes narrowed.

Mitsuki sighed, helping the badly limping Kajika to her feet. She knew that the kitsune was faking. The kitsune knew that she knew she was faking. So why was she faking? "Ne, Kajika-chan, maybe this is a sign that you and Kakashi-san shouldn't fight anymore."

"You kidding? Next time I'm smashing his bloody head in!"

She sighed. "Wonderful..."

Ignoring the fact his stomach felt like it was bleeding, Kakashi stretched, smiling at Ino. "Shouldn't you be off training, Ino-chan?"

Ino shook her head, smiling triumphantly. "Got the day off," she said in a sing-song voice. She grinned, eyeing Sakura. "That way I'll be all neat and nice to go with Sasuke for lunch."

"Why would he want to go to lunch with you Ino-pig?"

Kakashi stepped in-between the girls in order to stop their newest fight while Kajika turned her nose to the air. She was sick of the two yelling, they were really hurting her ears. So, picking up the largest and heaviest box of chocolates (the one originally meant for Naruto) she took careful aim and threw the box where the smell of Sasuke was the strongest. With a small yelp, Sasuke fell out of the tree, rubbing his head and glaring at the offending box.

"Happy Valentines Day Sasuke-kun!" Kajika shouted, smiling merrily.

Ino and Sakura froze before rushing over, each girl blushing as she pushed her box of chocolates at the sitting boy. Expectantly, they waited to see who's box Sasuke would accept first. Glaring at the two boxes, Sasuke stood. Slinging Kajika's box of chocolates over his shoulder (and holding the box by its ribbon) he walked away to join everyone else on the bridge. "I've got enough," he said darkly, coming to stand next to Kakashi and glaring over the bridge railing into the water.

Sakura and Ino pouted, crestfallen. "But Sasuke-kuuuuunnnn..." they whined.

Sasuke didn't bother to glance over his shoulder at them. "No."

"You got Sasuke-bastard chocolates?" Naruto shouted, looking both relieved and disappointed. "He's not going to eat them! He'll just throw them away when- ITAI!"

Kakashi reached up and snatched his box of chocolates before it could hit the side of his head. "Arigatou, Kajika-chan."

"Eeeh... Why'd you throw this at me, Kajika-chan?" Naruto asked, frowning as he picked up his box of chocolates. He blushed, realizing what they were.

Kajika glared at him. "Ass."

Kajika had gotten him chocolates... Smiling at his team, Kakashi gestured for them to take their places. Training was about to begin... If he could get Ino to leave...

-

-

Mitsuki stared out the apartment window at the dark sky and sighed. Today had not turned out like she'd wanted it to. She dangled the box she had been going to give to Kakashi in front of her face, glaring at it. While she hadn't had a clear plan of how to give it to him, she had originally thought to give it to him when she presented Sasuke and Naruto with their chocolates... But then she'd walked off when Kakashi had gotten those chocolates from those other girls and Sasuke had refused to accept her gift until Sakura and Ino were safely out of site... There never had been a good opportunity...

...And now he was gone...

Shortly after they'd taken a break for lunch a hawk had shown up, carrying a letter. After fighting Kajika off for it (she insisted that the letter was for her since she was expecting one) he'd dismissed the team and taken off after briefly telling her that he wouldn't be back for dinner. Now Valentines Day was nearly over and she still hadn't given Kakashi his chocolate. Not that it was a big deal or anything, in fact is wasn't a big deal at all, but she'd made them for him and...

"Miiikiiii..." Kajika whined, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "I'm tireddd..."

Mitsuki smiled at her, glancing away from the window. "Then go to bed."

Kajika nodded, yawning. "Aren't you coming?"

"In a moment."

The kitsune nodded again before staggering down the hall into the bedroom.

It would be terrible for Kakashi to come home only to find no one up waiting for him, Mitsuki thought to herself, moving away from the window to sit on the couch. She had memories of when she and Baa-chan stayed up late until Jii-chan had safely gotten back from trips to town. Baa-chan had told that she couldn't sleep not knowing if her loved ones were safe. They'd sit by the front door anxiously waiting until it slid open, smiling as Jii-chan walked in weary from the road. They'd sit him down, pour him some tea, and then all go to bed. You had to do those things for the ones you loved...

Kakashi probably wouldn't understand her sitting by the door until he returned. The idea seemed like it would be quite foreign in a big town... Besides, she wasn't his girlfriend...

She would get some reading done on the couch instead. Wrapping a blanket around her, she opened one of the books Tsunade had lent her and leaned back into the cushions. It was a history book, an old and dusty one. It would keep her occupied until Kakashi came back though...

-

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Kakashi sighed, stretching his sore muscles as he walked down the hall. That mission had sucked... He had spent the night with Asuma and Gai as they had waited, unmoving at the Country of Lightning's Border for some important guest to arrive. The woman finally had shown up just as the moon was setting, forcing them to make their way back to Konoha in near darkness. They'd delivered her safely to a waiting Tsunade though... Now all he was looking forward to was a few hours sleep in his warm bed...

...His bed was being taken up by a fox and a girl...

The futon would do.

Silently opening the front door and sliding off his shoes, Kakashi absently noted that Mitsuki had left a light in the living room on. That was kinda nice... She'd been thoughtful enough to make sure he'd be able to see when he came in. Not that it really mattered, he'd wandered around his apartment enough to know where everything was... Now if she'd left his futon ready for him and turned down the covers that'd be...

He blinked. Then blinked again. Had Mitsuki really stayed up for him? Or at least tried to? She was sprawled out over the arm of his couch, sleeping in what had to be a very uncomfortable position. The light was still on and a book was laying open on her lap, one hand still loosely keeping the page open. Kakashi smiled, shaking his head. She'd fallen asleep reading... It was nice to think she'd been trying to stay up to greet him though. It was such an old fashioned thing to do. Hadn't his mother waited up for his father whenever he went on missions before she died?

Kakashi removed the book from her lap, sticking it on the end table next to a red wrapped box. Curious, he picked up the box, smiling as he read the tag. So he was getting Valentines Day chocolate from her after all... Hmm... Maybe he shouldn't have been so hard on Gai then...

Mentally shrugging, Kakashi set the box down and walked down the hall to look in on Kajika. As he'd guessed, the kitsune was hogging the entire bed and snoring loudly. There wasn't any room to fit Mitsuki in there... She'd have to sleep on the futon tonight, he'd take the couch. Returning to the living room he gently scooped the sleeping girl up off the couch and set her down on the ready futon, tucking her in and covering her with an extra blanket. Nodding in satisfaction, he flopped down on the couch, pulling a throw over him and turning off the light.

He'd only managed to get three gifts of chocolate this year, compared to Gai's whispered boasts of eight. Somehow, this fact didn't bother him as much as it had earlier. After all, it wasn't the quantity that counted, it was the thought. Now all he had to do was think of something to give each girl for White Day... He mentally sighed, closing his eyes. He really hated holidays...

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You know what the funniest thing ever is? This comedy skit called Yatta... It's a song... It gets stuck in your head and now all I can think about is singing guys saying Yatta over and over again in my head. If you haven't seen this clip yet (and I think I'm really really late on seeing it) go to

www albinoblacksheep com/video/yatta php

(I removed the spaces) and select the first link on the top of the page. I would not recommend watching this in work or school though... Just a warning... My roommate stood over my shoulder and watched it with me and at the end said 'What the hell was that?' My guy friends were even more horrified, but my best friend from home e-mailed me about it and said that she laughed until she cried while watching the clip... I think it may have something to do about actually meeting Japanese people, knowing how reserved and polite they are, and then watching this to see how funny it is... Now I can't wait until I get a second e-mail from her telling me what my friend's roommate thought of it. (Her roommate is from Japan, studying college here, her reaction could be hilarious...)

1. Obligatory chocolates are chocolates that you have to give out, usually to your boss. Sometimes you have to give your coworkers chocolates too, but usually it's only your boss.


	17. The Task Part 1

I am so bored….

In other news interesting things happening recently, directly involved with fanfiction. **Apparently, the MPAA (the people who own the movie rating system) have started to issue letters ordering fanfiction writers to cease and desist using their rating system for stories.** Personally, I think this is quite odd since they haven't gone after big archiving sites (like this one) but after small fry authors who put stories up on their own websites. I did an Internet search to see if only small websites came up, but Fanfiction net was the first search result…. (shrugs) Whatever, just a heads up in case this site gets a CandD letter too and has to be shut down to totally revamp the way we do ratings.

Chapter 16: The Task Part 1

**Note: This chapter is written following what happens to the students as they attempt to complete today's mission. Next chapter will be the same thing only following Kakashi and Mitsuki around. Why? ... I'm lazy and it seems the right length to break it up like that... So sue me! Besides, you have to be nice to me for... Today's my birthday! Yatta!**

Monday: Day One

"Go ahead, he says. I'll catch up, he says," Kajika growled to herself, glaring at the ground. "Well it's been an hour and a bloody half Kakashi and where the hell are you?"

"Go fish," Sakura said, hiding her cards so Naruto wouldn't know that she'd been lying about not having any twos. "Why don't you join us, Kajika-san?" she asked smiling. "Kakashi-sensei shouldn't be here for another half hour."

"Is he really always this late?" Mitsuki asked, handing her five over to Sasuke.

Naruto nodded. "Hai, though he's gotten better lately."

"Probably because Mitsuki-san's been forcing him out the door," Sasuke muttered, glaring at Sakura, just daring her to ask for his queen.

Sakura opened her mouth then shut it, turning to Naruto. "Hey Naruto, got any sevens?"

Naruto tossed the card over at Sakura, pouting. "I'm getting bored," he whined, stretching.

"That's because you're losing."

"NOT TRUE! I only wanna know when Kaka-sensei's gonna hurry up and get here!"

"Ohaiyou!" Kakashi said brightly, suddenly appearing at the end of the bridge. He blinked at them all. "Playing cards in the snow?"

Sakura collected the cards, slipping them back into her hip back. "A ninja must always be prepared Kakashi-sensei."

"Where the hell have you been?" Kajika bellowed, leaping forward to punch Kakashi in the face.

Kakashi smiled, blocking the blow. "I've been busy," he said vaguely. Still smiling he patted Kajika on the head. "Maa... Calm down, you'll like this, Kajika-chan. Everyone, Tsunade-sama has approved us for an important training exercise devised by myself."

Naruto and Sakura groaned while Sasuke rolled his eyes.

He blinked. "What?"

"The last time you said we had a special training mission we got lost in the woods!" Sakura complained, frowning at her teacher.

"And giant bats with noses held us prisoner!" Naruto added, nodding.

"And we got her," Sasuke growled, glaring at Kajika.

The kitsune stuck her tongue out at the boy as Kakashi thought that over. It was true, the last training mission they had was the survival training… And they had been held prisoner by Tengu… And they had been led on a wild goose chase by Kajika and then been followed home by her… "This one will be different," he promised, pulling out four strips of paper.

"Better be…"

He ignored that comment, handing out the slips of paper. "Today's mission will be a bit like the Chuunin test. Hidden throughout the countryside are scrolls, each one colour coded. Sakura, you will be collecting the white scrolls, Sasuke brown, Naruto black, and Kajika green."

"What?" Kajika shrieked, glaring at the taller man. "I'm not part of your stupid team! You can't boss me around, Kashi-baka!"

He patted her on the head. "Maa… But just yesterday you were complaining on how bored you were. Besides, I already told you that you'd like this assignment, Kajika-chan."

"Hmph."

"Written on the sheet of paper I gave you is a set of clues telling you where the scrolls may be found. Feel free to open the scrolls as you find them. Each scroll will give you a hint telling you where Mitsuki and I will be hiding out at."

Mitsuki blinked. "We're going someplace?"

Kakashi nodded, still smiling. "Hai. Whoever finds me first will receive a special prize. You have two weeks to complete your mission. Any questions?"

Sasuke and Sakura solemly shook their heads while Naruto began intently studying his clues. Kajika scoffed and tossed the instructions over her shoulder and into the rushing water. "Heh, this is going to be too easy," she said smirking and cracking her knuckles. "All I have to do is follow the scent of stupid and-"

"I didn't hide your scrolls Kajika-chan."

Kajika blinked, looking up at him. "Who did then?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Someone you don't know."

Kajika swore, diving over the bridge railing and searching for her slip of paper.

"Any other questions? ….No? Then begin."

Sasuke had ten clues with two weeks to find them. This was going to be too easy... Scanning the list he rushed off to the east. His first clue had said 'salty water' which of course had to mean the ocean...

Sakura hesitated only a moment before heading north. She had five clues and the first was easiest but Kakashi-sensei couldn't possibly mean for her to go near the Sound's country could he? But that was the only place she could think of that had 'statues of friends that touch the sky.'

Naruto blinked glancing up nervously at a reading Kakashi and a puzzled looking Mitsuki. He couldn't read his sensei's stupid handwriting... Well, he seemed to be reading that book pretty intently... "Ano... Mitsuki-neechan?" he whispered quietly, pulling on the older girl's sleeve.

Mitsuki glanced at the boy before leaning over. "Hai?"

"I can't read my clues."

She glanced over at Kakashi. He didn't seem to be paying attention... Accepting the slip of paper she sweatdropped as she read it. _Kami this handwriting is bad... Is that a kanji? ...If it is, which one is it?_ "Ano... I think is says... Mori no...ame... ga... furu? So... The forest's rain... The second one is... South... point... no it says south peninsula! And the third is Ancient Death on the Field."

Naruto sighed, relived. "Arigatou Mitsuki-neechan..."

Mitsuki smiled at him, patting him on the head. "Good luck Naruto-kun, see you in two weeks!"

Grinning widely Naruto rushed off to the west. The forest's rain probably had something to do with the border with the Hidden Village of Rain. Since it was first on the list he'd go there first. Besides, he only had three clues...

Kajika dragged herself out of the water and shook herself off like a dog. She hated getting wet, because it took so long for her fur to dry. Then again she was in human form... But there wasn't a hairdryer around... That bastard Kakashi...

"NANI?" she shrieked, opening up her set of clues. "Fourteen?" She glared up at Kakashi. She had to find one scroll a day or else she'd never be able to find him. Grumbling obscenities under her breath she took off towards the south. The first clue had only been the word 'Home.' Easy enough, all she had to do was stop at her den long enough to grab her scroll... She'd show Kakashi! He may not had hid her scrolls, but as soon as she caught the scent of the one that did she was going to get all her scrolls in record time!

Everyone now gone, Kakashi shut his book, tucking it into his vest pocket. "Ready to go?" he asked, smiling at Mitsuki.

Mitsuki sighed, picking up the jackets Sakura and Kajika had left behind. "Where are we going?"

Kakashi grinned slyly, taking the objects from her. "You'll find out when we get there."

* * *

Wednesday: Day Three

Sasuke carefully surveyed the area, studying every rise and fall of the land. There had to be a scroll here, it couldn't be anywhere else. He'd found the scroll at the ocean's edge easy enough, why couldn't he find the battlefield one? Sure, there were plenty of battlefields throughout Konoha, but this was the last one. He'd searched all the others. Maybe there was a smaller field somewhere that he hadn't thought of? One wher- There! In the ground!

Diving forward, Sasuke pulled the scroll out of the ground then swore when he saw it's colour was black. That meant it was Naruto's... Unceremoniously, he dropped the scroll to the ground before pausing to pick it back up. Maybe it would come in handy... With that in mind he continued to search, wondering when are where he'd find his second brown scroll.

* * *

Thursday: Day Four

Sakura sat by the river bank and shivered. She needed to get moving again, needed to find her second scroll. But which clue to follow? The first clue that led to the statues at the Sound border had been a dead end, plus she'd nearly been killed by traps set to keep enemy ninjas out of the area. Then, she'd been able to find her first scroll by following the second hint while the third clue was another dead end. Now which one to follow, the third or the fourth?

Well, the fourth was closer. Standing she brushed herself off before heading south wondering how hard it would be to find Kajika's den...

* * *

Friday: Day Five

Kajika was starting to get desperate. Having gone through seven clues and only finding one scroll she knew she was severely behind. But she had been so sure that all the places she had gone were right! Where else was there a great waterfall then at the border between the Sound and the Fire? She'd searched the entire coast looking for the 'scroll among the waves' and now she was standing at the edge of the largest lake in the Country of Fire hoping desperately that there was a scroll hidden somewhere in it's freezing, murky depths.

Now what had her mother told her about summoning Water Ryuu (dragons) again? Oh yeah, they were strong and didn't taste good, making them an unfit source of food. Humans were easier to catch and sweeter to eat... That didn't help. Stay out of range. Despite their size, Ryuu are fast. That helped a bit. The funniest joke ever is about when a Human, a Tengu, and a Ryuu walk into a bar and the Human says...

That didn't help at all!

Cursing under her breath and mentally damning her mother to hell, Kajika extended enough of her aura out to the water to alert the creature to her presence before jumping up and down on the frozen part of the water. "Hey!" she shouted, grinding her foot into the ice. "HEY! Wake up you stupid Ryuu! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wa-"

The Ryuu burst out of the lake sending huge chunks of ice and water everywhere. Kajika shrieked and dove for land as the huge beast made a swipe at her. Roaring in effort, the huge Ryuu dragged it's waterlogged body out of the water and followed her, plowing through the trees and making the ground shake with every step as he gave chase.

_Ryuu are very testy brutes, _Kajika suddenly remembered, her mother's voice coming into her head. _Really nasty, especially after being woken up. If you ever gotta be a little shit head and wake one of those damn fuckers up, be nice about it, got that brat? If not, they'll gobble you up like you were some sort of human babe._

Diving ahead and rolling to get out from under the Ryuu's foot, Kajika mentally sighed before shifting into her Kitsune form. She should have listened to her mother more... May that bitch rot in hell...

Once again on four legs, Kajika turned tail and ran wondering who would tire first and what would happen when one did.

* * *

He had three lousy clues! Three! That meant three lousy scrolls! So why couldn't he find a single one? Could Mitsuki-neechan have been lying to him when she told him what Kakashi-sensei's messy handwriting meant? Naruto didn't think she'd be that mean to him but...

Dropping down on the ancient battlefield Naruto blinked as he saw Sasuke's stooped form searching through some tall grass to the side. _What's he doing here?_

Before Naruto could announce himself, Sasuke straightened, glaring over his shoulder at the blond haired ninja. "What are you doing here, dobe?" he growled, turning and crossing his arms.

Naruto scoffed, glaring back. "I'm here to find my scroll Sasuke-bastard! Now what are _you_ doing here?"

"Looking for my scroll," Sasuke snapped back, his glare intensifying. He paused, a thought coming to mind. "How many scrolls have you found?" he asked turning to continue his search like he didn't care.

Naruto froze for a moment. "Two of three!" he lied, adopting a smug look on his face. "You?"

Sasuke's eyes widened and he was glad Naruto couldn't see his face. That idiot had almost found all his scrolls? He'd only managed to find one of his and he had ten scrolls to find. Oh no... That meant that the one remaining scroll Naruto needed was in his pocket...Now what was he supposed to do? He couldn't exactly give the scroll to his teammate and let him win, but at the same time he couldn't sabotage him either. "Need one more," he growled, his search intensifying as he peered through the tall grass.

Naruto gulped feeling nervous. At this rate Sasuke was going to find all his scrolls before him! That was completely unacceptable. He needed to pick up the pace before it was too late!

* * *

Saturday: Day Six

Panting, Kajika lay on her back, glaring upside down at the Ryuu which had crawled back into it's lake and was glaring at her. "What?" she snapped, sitting up and flashing her fangs at the creature menacingly.

"I'm still waiting," the ryuu said haughtily, folding his scaled paws over each other and gazing down at her.

"For what?"

"My apology."

"APOLOGY?"

"For waking me."

"Like hell I'm gonna apologize for that!"

"You better you little brat or else I'll eat your scrawny ass!"

"I'd like to see you try lizard breath!"

Both creatures hauled themselves to their feet before collapsing again, too tired to attack. Glaring at each other, they sat in silence for a long time.

"Sorry," Kajika said abruptly turning her gaze to the ground.

The Ryuu preened, smiling smugly.

"SORRY YOU'RE SUCH AN UGLY ASS!" she bellowed, laughing loudly in triumph.

Roaring in rage, the Ryuu made a swipe at her. "Little piece of shit!"

Kajika jumped to the side then giggled again as she and the Ryuu collapsed again. "I'm tired..." she laughed, staring up at the sky.

Laying it's head down on the shore, the Ryuu snorted in agreement. "I was having such a lovely nap before you came," it moaned, closing it's eyes. "Such lovely dreams too... I was dreaming that I was eating an entire village of plump, juicy samurai..."

From across the lake they heard someone shriek in surprise. Kajika raised an arm in greeting. "Hey Sakura-chan!"

Sakura walked over, her eyes wide as she surveyed the huge dragon and all the damage that had been done. "What happened?" she demanded, her eyes wide.

"That brat woke me up," the Ryuu huffed, flicking it's tail in the Kitsune's direction.

"He has my scroll," Kajika growled in return.

Both Sakura and the Ryuu blinked. Scroll? "My clue says I have a scroll around here somewhere too!" Sakura said, looking excited. "Do you have my scroll as well, Ryuu-san?"

"Scroll?" the Ryuu repeated, looking puzzled. It shrugged it's giant shoulder lazily. "How should I know? I've been sleeping for the last three centuries..."

"Well do you have any green scrolls down there?"

"Or any white ones?" Sakura added.

The ryuu shrugged again. "If you want scrolls I'll give you them..." it said raising itself up to crawl back into it's lake. With a large splash it dissappeared under the lake's surface.

Grinning widely, Sakura hummed cheerfully. At last! She was finally going to get her second scroll. "Ne, Kajika-chan, how many of the scrolls have you found?"

Kajika pouted, crossing her arms. "None."

Sakura blinked then smiled at her apologetically. "I've only been able to find one."

"Well-"

There was an explosion of water and the Ryuu was back, pushing a pile of scrolls, six feet high at the two girls. "Happy hunting," he yawned, closing his eyes. "I'm going back to bed..."

Kajika groaned as she looked at the pile, making rude gestures at the ryuu as it went back into it's lake. "I'm never going to find my scrolls," she groaned, flopping back onto the ground.

Sakura sighed. Could her scroll really be in that giant pile? Mentally thinking up terrible punishments for her teacher, she began digging through the mess.

* * *

Sunday: Day Seven

"Found it!" Kajika screamed in triumph brandishing the scroll above her head. Grinning madly, she ripped off the string holding it shut and opened it.

Sakura sighed, flopping back. It was good that Kajika had found her first scroll, but now she didn't have any hints to where her own scroll could be. This lake had been her last clue too! Now where was she supposed to search?

"What the hell, Kakashi?" Kajika growled, turning her scroll this way then that. "This has to the be worst fricking calligraphy _ever._"

Sakura nodded in agreement. Kakashi-sensei's handwriting truly was terrible. Getting up, she walked over to Kajika and read the scroll over her shoulder. "I think it says Ryu," she said after a moment scrunching her eyes up and turning her head to one side. "That isn't a word though..."

Kajika frowned, turning the scroll upside down. "Think it's a weird kanji then?"

Sakura shook her head. "None that I know. It really looks like the hiragana Ri with the sound change of Yu added onto it though."

Kajika snorted. "That bakamono, Kakashi..."

Sakura sat down next to the Kitsune, resting her head on her hand. "Think he meant to write Ryuu and left the extra 'U' off?"

"Dunno... What did the scroll you found say?"

Sakura pulled the white scroll out, removing it's string. "I think he wrote Nishi no."

"Western?"

"Hai."

Kajika paused, putting the two scrolls side by side. "Hey Sakura-chan..."

"Hmm?"

"You think that bakamono Kakashi gave us all clues to the same place?"

"Probably."

"Meaning if we put the clues together we'll find him."

"Yeah."

"Together our clues say Nishi no Ryu."

Sakura blinked, looking at the fox. "And Kakashi-sensei probably meant to write Ryuu making it Nishi no Ryuu. Western Dragon!" She jumped to her feet, grinning. "Kajika, are there any dragons living in the west?"

Kajika winced. "Yeah, a big nasty one named Satsugai."

"Think Kakashi-sensei went there?"

She sighed... "We might as well check..."

* * *

Monday: Day Eight

"Stop following me!" Sasuke growled, glaring at Naurto.

"I'm not following _you_, Sasuke-bastard!" Naruto snapped, folding his arms. "I'm just heading the same way, that's all!"

"Hmph."

"Heh."

They glared at each other for a long time.

"Will you stop-" Sasuke stopped, a sudden scream echoing through the lands. He froze, he and Naruto pulling out kunai as they looked around to see where the noise was coming from.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" a familiar voice shrieked, a blur of red and white with two tails running by and bowling the two boys over.

A second blur of pink was at the kitsune's ankles, looking back long enough to register the fact that Naruto and Sasuke were there. "Run!" she shouted.

The two boys glanced at each other then ran after them as a huge, three story tall Ryuu burst into the clearing, roaring in anger. "GET BACK HERE!" it screamed to the heavens. "I'M GONNA SWISH YOUR BLOODY ASS!"

"What the hell it that?" Naruto shouted, quickly catching up to Sakura and Kajika and narrowly avoiding a tree that was thrown at the group.

"Less talky more runny," Kajika panted, putting her head down and willing herself to go faster.

Sasuke glared at her. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"You woke him up!"

"Shut up Sakura!"

"By poking him in the eye!"

"Shut up!"

"With a stick!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!"

Sakura opened her mouth to add that then the Kitsune had broken into hysterical laughter, but decided against it. If she kept talking as she ran she was going to get winded and the last thing she wanted to do was get swished by that thing...

* * *

"Kashi and Miki are not with the Ryuu," Kajika announced solemly, tossing the bones of her rabbit into the bushes behind her.

The three genin glared at her, scooting closer to the small fire. Not only had the kitsune been the only one to catch any food that night, but she also had refused to share any of it, devouring it in front of their faces. "Why would they have been?" Sasuke growled, wrapping his arms around himself.

Sakura smiled at him. "Kajika and I compared scrolls and that's where the clues seemed to be pointing," she said, blushing slightly.

Kajika nodded. "What'd you two's scrolls say?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head while Sasuke reached into his pocket to pull out his scroll. "Ano sa, ano sa... I wasn't... You see..."

Thrusting the black scroll at the blond ninja, Sasuke glared at him, daring him to say a word.

"YOU STOLE MY SCROLL? DAMN SASUKE-BASTARD!"

"Shut up," Sasuke growled, opening his brown scroll. "It says Kokkyou."

"Border? Western Dragon Border? What the hell does that mean?" Kajika moaned, flopping down on the ground. "I won't be able to take it if we're supposed to go to the border between the Southern and Western Dragon's territories!"

"What about your scroll, Naruto?" Sakura asked, ignoring Kajika.

Naruto opened his scroll and frowned. "I can't read it."

Sakura took the scroll from him, frowning at it in the dim light. "I think it says Kan."

"Kan? Kan as in can or Kan as in intuition?"

She shrugged. "It just says Kan."

They all frowned.

"Intuition of the Western Dragon Border?" Kajika suggested.

Naruto frowned. "Can Dragon Border Western?"

Sakura bowed her head, mumbling under her breath. "Kan Ryuu Nishi no Kokkyou. Kokkyou Kan Nishi no Ryuu. Hmm... Ryuu Kokkyou... Ryuu Nishi no... Ryuu Kan... Ka-"

"Say that last one again," Sasuke ordered, gazing at Sakura."

"Ryuu Nishi no?"

"The one after that."

"Ryuu Kan?"

He sat back looking thoughtful.

"I don't get it."

"Shh Kajika!"

"Don't 'shh' me you pink haired twe-"

"Are you sure Kakashi-sensei wrote Ryuu?" Sasuke interrupted.

Kajika blinked. "Yeah, I guess so. He didn't put on the extra 'U' though."

"Are you sure he didn't write Ryo?"

Sakura frowned. "Ryo? Why would it be Ryo? That isn't a word..." she trailed off before smacking herself on the forehead. "Ryokan! Nishi no Kokkyou Ryokan1!"

Kajika and Naruto glanced at each other, not getting this sudden break through. "Huh?" they sounded in chorus.

Sasuke leapt to his feet, kicking dirt over and smothering the fire. "Kakashi-sensei is at an inn near the western border," he growled.

"WHAT?" Kajika roared, jumping up. "He's at an inn while we're freezing our asses off out here?"

"Hai."

"I'll kill him!"

"But why did you think Kakashi-sensei had written Ryu, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, getting to his feet and stretching.

"'Cause Kakashi-sensei's handwriting is terrible," Sakura growled, cracking her knuckles. She grinned evilly. Oh Kakashi-sensei was going to get it for this...

"We have six days remaining to find them," Sasuke said looking to the west.

"First one there gets to bash Kashi's head in," Kajika said cheerfully, sliding into her fox form and crouching low to the ground.

"And gets to have a nice long bath..." Sakura sighed, getting into a good running start position.

"Ready?"

"GO!"

* * *

Wednesday: Day Ten

"I checked all the inns near the border with the City of Grass."

"He's not by the Village of Rain."

"Ran up and down the damn border with the Sand and didn't catch a single scent."

Sasuke frowned, looking thoughtful. They'd followed the clues, they'd searched every town, but Kakashi-sensei wasn't at single inn along the western border. "We're missing something," he growled, staring into the distance. "Kajika, how many clues did you have again?"

"Fourteen."

"Five," Sakura supplied without being asked.

"Three," Naruto said.

And he had ten... None of them had found more then one scroll belonging to them though. Maybe the number of clues was just a distraction? When they'd put all the scrolls together they seemed to get a satisfactory answer... So why couldn't they find their teacher?

Kajika sighed, flopping back onto the bench she was sitting on. "I'm hungry..." she whined pathetically. "When are we going to get something to eat..."

As if on cue Naruto's and Sakura's stomachs growled. They smiled sheepishly. "Eh-heh, I'm hungry too," Sakura said going into her bag and looking to see if she had any yen left. She frowned. "Ha... Only 150 yen..."

"I've got 200 yen," Naurto said fishing out his frog purse and opening it's mouth. "Damn Ero-Senin..."

"And I've got 1000 left," Sasuke sighed as expectant eyes fell on him.

Kajika moaned pitifully. "We can't feed four on 1350 yen... McDonalds costs at least 500 each..."

"We'll have to get something from a grocery store," Sakura sighed, carefully tucking her money away. "Unless you could trap something, Kajika-chan."

Kajika sighed, eying the closest store. "Rat anyone?"

"IIE!" Naruto protested, crossing his arms. "Not again! We've had that two nights in a row!"

Sasuke sighed, getting to his feet. "Let's go buy something," he growled, moving towards the bustling center of town.

Mishi, the town the group was currently in, was the second largest town in the Country of Fire and definitely the more modern of the two. While it was unusual to see a car in Konoha, there was dozens of them zooming around and the ninjas were the object of everyone's stares instead of just blending in with the crowd. There were hundreds of things to see, most of which the ninjas had only heard about or rarely seen. Shop windows were full of TVs and DVD players while children raced by on bikes or skateboards.

Scoffing, Naruto watched two kids race down the sidewalk on skates. "I can run faster then that," he laughed.

"Hai, but they're not ninja," Sakura said, giving the blond a shove so he'd continue walking.

Naruto's eyes instantly went elsewhere focusing on a glowing neon sign on the other side of the street. "Sakura-chan, what's an In-to-ne-to Ka-fe?" he asked sounding out the katakana words.

Sakura sighed, giving the boy another shove. "It's a place where people can exchange information on the web."

"On the what?"

"The web."

"Why'd you wanna talk about a spider's web?"

"It's not a real, spider web baka! It's just called the web!"

"Why?"

"I-I don't know!"

Kajika forcefully ripped the two apart before the fight could escalate staring at the shop. "Hey Sakura, you said that place deals in information."

Sakura nodded. "Sorta."

Sasuke frowned, looking thoughtful. "How exactly does it work?"

"Well... I think you type what you want to know into a search engine and then the web finds it for you," Sakura said slowly, looking unsure. "That's what I heard..."

"So we could type Hatake Kakashi in this engine and a spider would tell us where he is?" Kajika asked looking eager.

Sakura shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

Shrugging, Sasuke crossed the street, heading towards the shop. "It's worth a try."

* * *

Naruto and Kajika stared at the computer, blankly. "I thought you said it was a web."

"Move baka," Sasuke growled, sitting down at the machine and grabbing the keyboard away before Kajika could break it. Slowly, he pulled up a website and carefully typed in his teacher's name in romanji. He'd seen someone doing stuff on the Internet before, but he'd never tried to do anything himself. Centering the arrow over 'search' he clicked the button.

"It changed!" Kajika squealed, eyes wide as she watched the results pop up. "Look! They know where Kashi is!"

Sasuke pushed the kistune away from him clicking on the first link. The words 'Hatake Kakashi Fan club' popped up followed by what looked like their teacher's official ninja handbook picture appearing below it. What was this?

"Maybe there's something under 'News?'" Sakura suggested, frowning as she studied the page.

Sasuke clicked on that link frowning at the page that appeared. "It's just a lot of babbling about Kakashi-sensei," he muttered, scrolling down.

"Hmmm... They really seem to like him, don't they?" Kajika giggled, eying the many messages stating eternal love for their icon. "Spiders like Kashi."

"It's not spiders it's people," Sakura corrected. She frowned seeing the words 'bitch' pop up more and more as the messages became more recent. Seeing a link she pointed it out to Sasuke asking him to click there next.

An image gallery popped up filled with everyday images from Kakashi's life. There was Kakashi walking, Kakashi reading, Kakashi talking to his team, Kakashi competing with Gai... The list went on and on... Just about the only thing they didn't have was Kakashi with his mask off considering that last one looked like it had been taken while he was sleeping...

The four stared at the screen for a long moment blinking. "Okay... That's creepy," Sakura finally said.

Seeing his name, Sasuke clicked on that link next, his eyes narrowing as a similar page popped up with his pictures and several links to the 'Uchiha Sasuke Fan club.' "...I'm going to kill them..." he growled under his breath, stalking away from the computer.

Sakura sat down next going back to the website with all the news posts. "It says here that Kakashi-sensei left Konoha at 10:45 am and 23 seconds for parts unknown."

"They have all that about Kakashi-sensei and they don't even know where he went?" Naruto asked, looking amazed. "Beh, what sort of spider web is this then?"

"It's not a spider web, it's the Internet," Sakura sighed, going back to the search engine. "Now what should I search for?"

"Search for me! Search for me!" Kajika squealed. "Do the spiders know about me too?"

"Search for our clues," Sasuke ordered, coming back over to the group. "Maybe we can find something out that way."

Sakura nodded typing Nishi no Kokkyou Ryokan in and hitting the search button. After waiting a moment, she grinned at the results. "Ne, Sasuke-kun look! This says that there's a traditional inn and hot spring resort in the South East by that name. It's near the ocean."

Sasuke nodded, crossing his arms. "We'll go there then."

Kajika straightened, stretching her arms. "Same rules apply?"

"Whoever finds Kakashi-sensei first gets to beat the shit out of him," Naruto agreed.

"Go!"

* * *

1. With my limited and quickly depleting Japanese skills I translate this as Western Border Inn! 


	18. Omake Theater

Very hassled and bothered right now and simply cannot get into the proper mind set to write a nice romance chapter. Now if you wanted all the characters to die and the world to be plunged into fire and chaos... But that would ruin the story so far, wouldn't it?

Anyway, I have a great many projects for school going on with no immediate relief in sight. As such I decided to throw together a short little Omake Theater just to let you all know that I'm not dead and yes, I am going to finish this fic. I even know exactly how the ending is going to turn out and everything! Isn't that wonderful? As an added bonus, my profile now sports a link to a funny little video that's play on repeat as successfully prevented me from ripping out my hair and using it to play the world's smallest violin for my project teammates. It has also stopped me from finding a cat to use for that same exact purpose.

In any case please sit back and enjoy Naruto: Omake Theater!

* * *

It was a perfectly normal day in Konoha... Normal, that is, if this was a different anime. No matter how many Anbu teams Tsunade-sama sent out the infestation of magical girls was growing and giant robots were falling out of the sky to do battle with equally large monsters before vanishing again. With huge sections of Konoha being destroyed (and with most of her ninjas running off for quickie weddings with the magical girls) Tsunade-sama felt like she had only one choice. Taping a sign saying 'Back in 10 Years' on her door, she grabbed her bags and ran out of town, dragging a screaming Shizune after her. She needed a break and if her faithful assistant wasn't with her then how would she get back to her hotel room after getting completely wasted?

"TSUNADE-SAMAAAA!" Shizune shrieked, trying to drag her boss back. "LET GO! SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS WHILE YOU RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS AGAIN! LET GO TSUNADE-SAMMAAA!"

The magical girls and robots sweatdropped, but didn't move to do anything. After all, since it was a girl kidnaping another girl it couldn't be because the girl wanted to force the other into some sort of evil marriage, right? And the kidnapper wasn't big enough to fight with. What was a magical girl and a robot to do? So they went back to 'saving' the city.

Strangely, on the other side of town Kurenai and her team of gennin hadn't noticed a thing. Instead, Kurenai was about to teach her students the wonders of new weapons training. If she didn't kill them first...

"Yes Kiba, there may be times when Akamaru isn't there to fight with you," she growled for the 100th time as she glared at the boy. "And enemy nin may develop a pesticide that could affect your bugs Shino."

The two boys scoffed. "But war fans are for girls!" he growled, looking down at the object with distaste.

"..." Shino said.

"Good point Shino!" Kiba cheered. "See Kurenai-sensei, Shino has a good argument!"

Kurenai sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Shino did have a good point... "What do you think Hinata?"

Put on the spot like that Hinata blushed, shoving her fingers together multiple times. "Um... I... Err... Yo-You see..."

"Hinata agrees with me at least," Kurenai muttered, still glaring at the boys. "Well, it's tied two to two and since I'm your sensei you're learning the new weapons."

"But-"

"I SAID YOU'RE LEARNING THEM, UNDERSTAND ME?"

"HAI!"

Kurenai beamed at them. "Good. Now first up we'll learn how to use the whip. Since this is your first time handling it I just want you to crack it. Be careful not to hit each other."

"Hai, sensei," Kiba sighed, accepting the whip.

Hinata blubbered incoherently as she took her whip, blushing.

"..." Shino said.

"Don't use that tone of voice with me, Shino!" Kurenai snapped, glaring at the cheeky boy. "Now everyone, crack the whip."

The three did so.

"Good now-"

Hinata cracked the whip again.

Kurenai smiled at the girl. "Very good Hinata. Now-"

The raven haired girl cracked the whip again.

"Err... That's good, but we're moving on –"

And again.

"... Hinata?"

A strange smile on her face, Hinata cracked the whip again and again before laughing uproariously. "_OHOHOHOHOHO!_ **_CALL ME PRINCESS!_**" she shouted, bringing the whip around to crack it over her team-mates' and sensei's head.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kiba and Kurenai screamed, turning tail and running for dear life.

"...!" Shino swore, right on their heels.

Hinata laughed again ("_OHOHOHOHO!_") before ripping off her clothes revealing the skimpy leather bikini and suddenly balloon sized breasts. Still laughing ("_OHOHOHOHO!_") she gave chase, cracking the whip as she ran.

"Out of the way!" Kurenai screamed, barreling down the path and shoving Kakashi to the side.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, watching them go. "Now what was that all abou-"

"_OHOHOHOHO! _**_CALL ME PRINCESS!_**" Hinata laughed, running by and cracking her whip against Kakashi's butt.

Kakashi yelped and rubbed his behind. "Kids these days," he muttered to himself, going back to his book.

In front of him a blue portal opened and a lone figure stepped out. "Yo."

Kakashi glanced up to see... himself. Raising an eyebrow he tucked away his book. "Yo."

The two stared at each other, a tumbleweed rolling past. Now that Kakashi was actually looking at his clone he could tell the slight differences. The hair was slightly longer... Both eyes were visible... He had a cybernetic arm and leg, a huge six foot cannon slung over his shoulder, and a glowing blue portal behind him. Little things really...

"So... ahh... What's up?" Kakashi asked.

The other Kakashi rubbed the back of his head with his cybernetic arm. "Maa... Nothing really..." he said smiling. "I'm from the future."

"Sou desu ka?"

"Hai, sou desu."

"..."

"..."

"How's the future?"

"Nice. We got rid of that dying problem."

"That sounds nice."

"I guess..." FutureKakashi rubbed the back of his head again. "Is this a bad time?"

Kakashi glanced at the sun. He was five hours late for his team meeting. "Nope. Plenty of time before I have to be somewhere."

FutureKakashi nodded. "Well, you see I have a little problem."

"A future problem?"

"Maa... Yes. A big one for me- I mean us."

"Saa... Is that so?"

Smiling under his cloth titanium mask, FutureKakashi gestured to the portal behind him. "Ano sa... In the future Jiraiya has been writing a lot of books you see..."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Can't wait to read them."

"Neither can I. That's the problem." Looking a bit sheepish FutureKakashi continued. "Since well, I couldn't wait for the next issue to come out I got Sakura to build this time machine and got all the books Jiraiya wrote from my time in the future to when he declares retirement and goes to live in the Playboy mansion."

Kakashi nodded sagely. "I see."

"Since I'm pretty busy in the future, I was wondering... Could you read some of them for me? So that I can read them?"

"I humbly accept," Kakashi said calmly, an evil glint in his eye.

FutureKakashi nodded, looking relieved. "Saa... Good. Can I drop them off now?"

"Sure." Smiling brightly, Kakashi helped his future self move all the books from the portal onto the path. After grabbing the last stack he happily opened one, looking at his double from over the pages. "So why are we so busy in the future?"

FutureKakashi shrugged. "This and that reason. Duties. Being Hokage of the world, the savior of mankind, and the CEO of the world's largest adult video studio takes a lot out of you."

Kakashi winced sympathetically. "Nice seeing you."

"You too. Enjoy."

Kakashi gazed around his stacks of books as the portal closed. Imagine it... Not only did he have all the books Jiraiya had written so far... He also had all the future ones as well! Hmm... He'd better get reading...

"KAKASHIIIIII!" Gai shouted, leaping down into the clearing. "My eternal rival! You must-"

"Not now Gai."

Gai blinked, looking crestfallen. "But-"

"Reading."

Gai pouted, kicking up dirt with his feet. "But Kakashi..."

"Maybe later," Kakashi said, turning a page.

"What are you reading anyway?"

"All the books Jiraiya has ever written - of the future!"

Gai sweatdropped, edging away. "OoooKay... Umm... Later then."

"Later."

Grumbling to himself, Gai marched away. "Stupid Kakashi... Never has time for me anymore... Always avoiding me..." The bushy eyebrowed man paused, a horrified look coming over his face. "It couldn't be! He's found a replacement! A new Eternal Rival." Gai hesitated, unsure of what to do.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_" Gai wailed to the heavens. Breaking down, he fell upon the forest floor and began to cry.

"WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WH- _(Swish!)_"

"Oops. Stepped in something," Gaara muttered, his robot dancing around until he could look at the bottom of his shoe. "Eww... It's hairy..."

"Never mind that Gaara!" Naruto shouted, his own robot a few meters away. "Let's destroy Tokyo!"

"Sure Godzilla won't get mad?"

"We can take him!"

Gaara shook his head sadly, the robot following the movement. "Baka. When will you learn that nobody, not nobody, messes with Godzilla..."

END


	19. Omake Theater 2

Holy Bert's Baked Beans, Batman! Jader isn't dead!

No one can guilt trip me like Angeles and AnkleBiter Conundrum can... So here's something at least while I catch up on all those unread manga chapters of Naruto to get my groove back...

Side note... It's been EXACTLY a year since I last updated... I don't know what that means, but I thought I should mention it.

* * *

Omake Theater #2: The PLOT will return I swear it!

* * *

"Hatake Kakashi is a woman!" Jiraiya shouted, bursting into the Kunai, a popular ninja hangout. 

Silence greeted him as the ninjas all froze, staring at the red faced older man.

A wide grin crossing his face Jiraiya pulled out a stack of photographs and spread them out like cards. "I got pictures of him! Changing!"

There was a moment's hesitation, then the old man found himself swamped by ninjas ogling the photos and wondering if they could order this or that print in a poster size. Prepared for such requests, Jiraiya only continued to grin as he took down orders left and right... Life was good.

-

-

He was having the weirdest day. Ninjas that he had never even _seen_ before, and many that were from entirely different nin lands, were coming to stop and _stare _at him... It was actually quite unnerving since most of them were staring at his chest, and even more of them were drooling.

Briefly he wondered if this could be a prank, but Naruto seemed to be equally mystified as he followed his teacher around. In any case he didn't think that Naruto was clever enough to make clones and transform each to a different person with different chakura patterns... His eyes narrowed... Just to be on the safe side, he'd be sure to give the gennin hell until this entire thing blew over.

There was a slight rush of wind and Gai suddenly appeared before him, his head slightly bowed and his face red. "Ka-Ka-Kakashi..."

Kakashi glanced at the raven haired man over the top of his book. "Gai," he said in greeting, before going back to his book. Great, on top of all the ninjas stalking him, now Gai wanted to bother him as well.

"I… I have something important to ask you, Kakashi-san."

No challenge? Strange. "Not now Gai, I'm busy," Kakashi said turning the page to his book and continuing to walk. "The team and I have to report to Tsunade-sama about the results of the Extreme Ping-pong tournament and then-"

"No I have to ask you now, before my heart dies of grief!" Throwing himself onto one knee, Gai thrust a small box into the air. "Kakashi-chan! Please be my bride!"

Kakashi and his team froze. The ninjas stalking Kakashi from the treetops held their breath silently bemoaning the fact that they had not thought of this idea first.

Sakura was the first to recover, glancing from the hopeful looking Gai to her teacher with one foot still frozen in the air. "Kakashi… -chan?"

"B-Bride?" Naruto stammered, looking confused.

"Yes!" Gai shouted, opening the box to reveal a wedding ring with a small diamond in it. "Kakashi-chan… I've always loved you, but before I found out the truth I always believed these feelings were that of manly comradeship! But now- Now I wish to make you the happiest woman in Konoha!"

"WOMAN?" Sakura and Naruto shrieked while Sasuke blinked before sweat dropping. "Kakashi-sensei is a-"

Gai didn't even have the chance to scream as Kakashi fell upon him, dragging the spandex clad man underground and leaving him there. All ninjas present sweat dropped as Kakashi emerged from the soil and began busily covering the offending area with large boulders. Gai successfully buried, his single visible eye twitching, he glared at the spot where the ring box had fallen. Realizing his team's eyes were still on him, he turned to them, a murderous aura surrounding him. "If anyone ever mentions this to anybody, they won't find enough pieces for a funeral," he growled before vanishing in a poof of smoke.

The stalking ninjas quickly got lost. Glancing at each other, then at the ground where Gai's muffled screams were heard, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura wandered off, silently vowing to never think of this day again.

-

-

"I'm back," Kakashi sighed, opening up his apartment door and slipping off his shoes.

Mitsuki peeked out from the kitchen, smiling warmly as she saw Kakashi there. "Welcome back! Dinner will be done in just a moment."

"I'm not all that hungry."

Mitsuki blinked, as Kakashi walked to the living room and flopped down on the couch, covering his face with a pillow. Checking to make sure the food wouldn't overcook if she left it unattended, she approached the couch. Kneeling down, she prodded at the pillow, a concerned look on her face. "Bad day?"

Kakashi grunted, turning away from her.

Undaunted, Mitsuki pulled the pillow from Kakashi, still trying to get him to look at her. "Extreme Ping-pong idea not work out?"

Sighing, Kakashi moved so he was once again resting on his back. "It worked just fine. Only problem was Gaara killing everyone who beat him with Desert Coffin. Lost six chunin that way…"

Mitsuki smiled brightly, leaning over so she was resting her arms on his chest. "A success then?"

"Yeah, I figure I can convince Tsunade-sama to use the tournament as a way to thin out the annoying ninja population. I'll suggest Gai as the prime candidate to go up against Gaara next."

A strange look crossed Mitsuki's face as she looked down at Kakashi. "I take it you're… upset with Gai-kun then?"

"… I'd rather not talk about it."

The funny look still on her face, Mitsuki smiled brightly as she jumped to her feet. "You know what'll make things all better? Coffee and chocolate! I baked a huge chocolate cake that we can eat while we watch the movie I rented. I'll even do your nails!"

Kakashi stared up at her blankly. She wanted to do his nails? "I… I don't really like coffee."

"Then you've never had my special coco-fied coffee!" She grinned at him wickedly. "It's better then sex!"

He sweat dropped. "I somehow doubt that…"

If she heard him, Mitsuki didn't show it. Instead she got a starry look in her eyes as she smiled and twirled about. "This is going to be so much fun! A night in with my best friend," Kakashi winced, "with lots of coffee, chocolate, and a romance movie!"

Things were starting to get out of hand, Kakashi realized as Mitsuki walked back to the kitchen, humming. It sounded like Mitsuki was getting deep into… He shuddered… Girl things. Sitting up and checking the calendar Kakashi mentally cursed for not keeping track of when Mitsuki's girl times were going to start. Usually Kajika warned him of such things with her annoying grin and the hints that he should be sure to stock up on chocolate when he went for groceries. Now that he thought about it, where was Kajika?

Mitsuki blinked at Kakashi's question, the strange look coming onto her face again. "Kajika… Uhh… She received some… Sudden news and well… Went off to… Think about it for awhile."

Kakashi blinked. "Sudden news? Like what?"

A blush was starting to come over Mitsuki's cheeks and she was looking everywhere in the kitchen except at the ninja before her. "You know… The kinda news that a… Well… She wasn't very open minded about this news so she ran off. But I-" Mitsuki suddenly grabbed Kakashi's hands and began gazing earnestly into his eye. "I'm not like that at all, Kakashi-san! I'll support this sudden news with all my heart! No matter what anyone says, I'll support you!"

"Me?" Kakashi blinked, looking suspicious. "What about me?"

Mitsuki froze before shoving a bowl of rice into his hands. "Dinner!"

"Mitsuki, what are people saying about me?"

"I think I hear the dryer buzzing, I'll be right back, Kakashi!"

Kakashi glared as Mitsuki fled from the room, a suspicious look on his face. She was hiding something... Mentally shrugging he ate dinner. He'd get it out of her soon enough.

-

-

"If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

Mitsuki burst into tears as Kakashi tried not to roll his eyes. Instead he sipped his coco-coffee and wondered how he'd been dragged into this. Mitsuki hadn't even the decency to rent an action or comedy, opting for a romance instead. After a hard day's work of watching ninjas being cut into tiny pieces by an annoyed red-headed teenager and being... being... He wasn't even going to think about what Gai had done to him... In any case, a romance movie was not what he wanted to settle down and watch after such a trying day. However, Mitsuki had insisted, begging and pleading, and he hadn't wanted to bring the wrath of the girl time upon himself so... He mentally sighed and sipped his drink again.

At least the coco-coffee was better then he expected it to be. Although he could still think of several dozen more pleasurable things then drinking it...

"Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid."

Mitsuki cried harder, wiping her eyes with the blanket that covered them both before biting her sleeve, still staring intently at the screen. _I hope this is over soon,_ Kakashi thought to himself, staring blankly at his TV screen. _I haven't been this bored since Gai put on that comedy variety show when he was going through his mid-life crisis._ His eyes narrowed. _Gai... I still have to be sure he's dead..._

Finally, after what seemed to be a lifetime of torture, the final credits began to roll. Still rubbing her eyes, Mitsuki let out a sigh of adoration. "Wasn't that a great movie?"

Kakashi stared into his coffee mug mentally calculating how much longer he could nurse the drink. "Hmm? Oh yeah, wonderful movie."

"Poor Ilsa... Torn between the two men she loves..." Mitsuki sniffled again, smiling up at Kakashi with red rimmed eyes. "I bet you can totally relate."

Kakashi blinked, staring at her blankly. What the? "Actually... No. No I can't."

Mitsuki frowned, but jumped to her feet, turning the lights on, and rewinding the tape. "What more coco-coffee?"

"I'm good."

"Okay." There was a long pause in which Mitsuki stared at him with that same weird look on her face. "Kakashi, do you think you're a winter or summer colour?"

He stared at her for a long moment. "A what?"

"What do you think suits you better, winter or summer colours?"

"I... don't know?"

Mitsuki frowned again, approaching him like a cat approaches it's prey. "Well I would say winter since you have such lovely silver hair, but you might look a little pale if we were to do that. How do you feel about summer colours for a little spice?"

"...Are you sick?"

Sitting down next to him, Mitsuki studied his hair style intently. "Why do you gel your hair that way? It must take a lot of work to get it to hold that position."

Cautiously, Kakashi backed up, checking out of the corner of his eye for the hidden camera. Mitsuki was acting way too weird now... Girl times or not, she had to have been put up to this. "It's naturally sticks up that way."

"Well why don't you try wearing it down?" Mitsuki suggested, reaching up and removing his forehead protector. Kakashi let her, half afraid she'd stab him if he tried to stop her. "It's probably long enough to keep in a pony tail. You'd look nice like that."

"I like it up." He was running out of couch. Pretty soon she'd have him cornered and while he'd usually like that, the look in her eyes was starting to unnerve him.

"Summer colours probably to go with that eye of yours... Cover up to hide the scar...How about pink?"

"Huh?" He was out of couch. Danger alert!

"Pink nail polish!" As if by magic, a bottle of pink nail polish appeared in her hands. Never had anything looked so threatening.

Kakashi stared at the bottle blankly, slowly shaking his head. "You're not painting my nails."

"Why not? They'll look nice!"

"Ninjas don't paint their nails. S class criminals do. I'm not a S class criminal, so no nail polish."

"Tsunade-sama paints her nails."

"Tsunade-sama is a woman."

The strange look was on Mitsuki's face again. Kakashi was starting to associate that face with bad things happening and this time was no different. "Take off your mask Kakashi."

"What?"

"Take off your mask."

"...No."

"Why not? I'm sure you have a perfectly lovely face. You should let people see it."

"I'm not taking off my mask."

Mitsuki was leaning over him, practically laying on his chest, staring intently in his eyes. Despite how strangely she had been acting, despite the bottle of nail polish still clutched in her hand, Kakashi felt a sort of giddy warmth spreading through him. His hand came to cup Mitsuki's chin in his hand, a surprised look coming into her eyes as he leaned forward and-

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto screamed, suddenly bursting into the room. He gaped a moment before grabbing Mitsuki off of his surprised teacher. "Don't do it, Mitsuki-nechan! She's not what you think she is!"

"Naruto!" Mitsuki gasped at the sudden interruption. "What are-"

Kakashi twitched at being called a she, but held off killing his student as he heard a groan come from outside. Vanishing, he reappeared on a tree branch outside, glaring at the assembly of ninjas gathered there. "Yo," he said, his usual greeting more like a mix between a snarl and a growl.

One of the ninjas turned around slowly, trembling at the murder in Kakashi's gaze. "Ah... Kakashi-chan! We were just-"

Screaming filled the night air before the ninja could finish.

Covered in dirt, Kakashi reappeared a moment later, brushing off his hands. "What's the meaning of this Naruto?" he growled, glaring murderously at his student.

Bravely, Naruto stood his ground, arms outstretched to protect Mitsuki. "I can't allow this charade to go on any longer, Kakashi-sensei!" he shouted, defiantly. "I won't let you toy with Mitsuki-nechan's feelings!"

"...What are you talking about?"

Ignoring his stupefied teacher, Naruto whirled towards Mitsuki, grabbing her hands in his. "Don't be upset, Mitsuki-nechan, but it's time that you found out the truth! Kakashi-sensei is-"

Mitsuki laid her finger on Naruto's mouth, silencing him. Sighing deeply, she nodded. "I know, Naruto-kun. Gai told me."

Gai again? What the hell was going on?

"And that is why I can't accept your feelings, Kakashi."

Kakashi stared at Mitsuki, utterly confused as she grabbed his hand.

"Kakashi," Mitsuki said, her voice earnest. "I love you, but not in that way. You're my best friend in all of Konoha, and I'd like to keep it that way for the rest of our time together."

He stared blankly at Mitsuki, looked to Naruto (who was tearing up), then back at the raven haired girl. "Am I dying?"

Mitsuki's eyes went wide. "Oh no, Kakashi! You're not dying! At least... I don't think you are..."

"Then what on earth are you two talking about?"

Naruto and Mitsuki exchanged looks. "We know."

"Know what?"

"Know your secret, Kakashi-sensei."

"What secret?"

Without a word, both Naruto and Mitsuki pulled out a slip of paper and handed them to him. Kakashi took the slips, turned them over and stared. He stared some more. He blinked twice, made sure that the images were still the same, uncovered his left eye, triple checked that the images were the same, then stared a little bit more.

Naruto and Mitsuki looked nervous as he did this, worried what his silence might mean. "Don't worry, Kakashi-sensei! No one thinks any less of you now that we know you're a girl!"

Mitsuki nodded. "Now you're finally free to fully express yourself, Kakashi-chan! Gai was so happy when he found out the news, and an entire procession went to go tell Iruka-sensei. You can finally be with one of the two men you love!"

Head snapping up at Mitsuki's words, Kakashi paled. "...Exactly how many people know about this?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice level.

"All of the ninja kingdoms!" Naruto said happily, glad his teacher would be free. "Probably even more then that by now, too!"

Kakashi stared down at the photos once more. The photo Naruto had of him was a female version of himself bathing, feminine figure that could rival Tsunade's visible for all to see. Mitsuki's was in a way, worse. Mitsuki's photo had him at least wrapped in a towel, (he was still barely covered and his girly figure could be seen by all) but in this photo his mask was gone, pink pouty lips and delicate features able to be seen by all. His eye started to twitch. All the ninja kingdoms had heard about this rubbish? People believed this? Who would have had the nerve to pull this sort of prank on him? WHO?

"WHO?" he bellowed, grabbing Naruto by the front of his shirt and slamming him into the wall.

Naruto squawked in surprise and began to struggle, shouting about not being able to breath.

"Kakashi!" Mitsuki gasped, grabbing onto the much taller and stronger ninja's arm.

"WHO?"

"Gai!" Mitsuki shouted in reply, trying to pry Kakashi's fingers from Naruto's throat. "He said that they were selling them in the marketplace!"

Naruto coughed, as Kakshi dropped him, a hurt look on his face. "Jiraiya-sama was selling them," he said with a pout, rubbing his neck tenderly.

Turning the pictures to ash with a fire jutsu, Kakashi vanished an instant later into the darkness outside. Sighing, Mitsuki helped Naruto to his feet, cutting him a big slice of chocolate cake and getting him a bowl of ice cream as an apology for Kakashi's harsh reaction.

"I thought he would have been happy," Naruto sulked, playing with his ice cream as it melted. "Ne, Mitsuki-nechan. You're a girl, why isn't Kakashi-sensei happy that he- I mean she, doesn't have to pretend to be a man anymore? I thought people liked not having to pretend things."

Mitsuki smiled softly at the younger boy. "It's hard to figure out how girls think, even if you're a girl yourself," she admitted.

A knock came at the door. On the other side was a grim faced Chunin who beckoned them to follow. "Town meeting," he said in explanation. "Hokage-sama has ordered you to appear."

-

-

The town hall was in a state of chaos when they arrived, ninjas from all talking nervously as they shared theories on why they had been called here. At the front of the room, Tsunade stood tall. She waited until Mitsuki and Naruto had been seated in the front, before pounding her fist on her podium. "All right everyone, quiet down!" she ordered. Almost instantly, the hall fell into silence as the few remaining ninjas found seats. "I suppose you all want to know, why I've called you here. Well... By now you've probably all heard about Hatake Kakashi's coming out of the closet so to speak. Our comrade, Hatake-san is really a woman."

The hall erupted into talking again as ninjas who hadn't heard of this, were informed and while other ninjas expressed shock that such a trusted comrade had hidden this from them so long. A rather large female population of ninjas instantly fell to sobbing at Tsunade's confirmation while a significantly larger population of male ninjas suddenly perked up, smiling widely at the thought.

"QUIET!" Tsunade bellowed, shattering the podium with her fist. Blinking, she gazed at the pile of splinters for a moment before clearing her throat and continuing. "Since then, reports of bath houses being destroyed has been coming in from all over Konoha. The culprit matches Hatake-san's description exactly." She paused for effect as the hall sat in hushed shock. "Hatake Kakashi has obviously gone rogue and must be stopped."

"Nooo! Kakashi-sama!" several members of the female quarter wailed while many of the men started to protest as well.

Tsunade waved their protests away. "I understand your hesitancy. If at all possible, I would like Hatake-san to return to us, unscathed. She is a brilliant warrior, one of Konoha's best. However, if her mad reign of destruction continues, I must declare her an S-class criminal and appoint a squad of Anbu to defeat her."

"Iruka-sensei can save her!" a shout came from some corner of the room.

"YES!" another voice shouted. "Iruka-sensei's love for Kakashi-chan is pure! Their true love can save them both!"

Face red, Iruka leapt to his feet. "I'VE TALKED TO THE MAN LIKE TWICE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" he screamed, smoke coming out of his ears. "WHERE ARE YOU CRAZY PEOPLE GETTING THE IDEA THAT I LOVE HIM?"

The two voices squealed. "Iruka-sensei said he loved her!"

About to explode in rage, Iruka nearly became Konoha's next S-class criminal, but was stopped as a dirty and battered Gai suddenly burst into the room. "I will save her!" he proudly boasted, leaping to the stage and posing. "My love for Kakashi-chan is as deep and pure as the mountain springs! As heated and burning as the sun's firey light! My love for the sweet maiden Kakashi is-"

Gai was interrupted as a silver and red bullet crashed into him, knocking the smiling man unconscious. Panting, Kakashi dropped down from the ceiling, glaring at the assembled crowd. Slowly, he walked to the front and stepped onto the stage, picking up the dazed Jiraiya (the silver and red bullet he had thrown) and shaking the man awake. "Tell them!" he growled.

Jiraiya blinked a few times, realized where he was and nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Tell them what, Kakash-"

"TELL THEM!" Kakashi roared, murder in his eyes.

"It was all a farce!" Jiraiya said quickly, turning to the crowd. "I created the photos to make a quick buck! Hatake Kakashi is not a woman!"

Silence greeted him.

"LIAR!" one corner of the room shouted.

"Yeah, Jiraiya-sama we know you're lying!"

"Don't worry we love you, Kakashi-chan!"

"Marry me Kakashi-chan!"

"No! Marry Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-chan!"

"I SWEAR TO GOD, WHENEVER I FIND YOU, STUPID PERSON WHO SAYS I LOVE HATAKE-SAN, I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!"

Startled by the growing look of murder on Kakashi's face, Mitsuki rushed onto stage, grabbing his wrist as he went for a kunai. "No! Kakashi!" she gasped, grabbing hold of him as the crowd continued to shout. "Just-Just think about this, a little bit, Kakashi! You've been pretending for so long and now you can finally be free! Kakashi-chan!" Mitsuki hesitated as Kakshi turned his murderous gaze to her, the hand holding the kunai twitching. "...Kakashi-chan?" Mitsuki said nervously, backing away slightly. "Kakashi-chan, why are you looking at me like that? Kakashi-chan? Kakashi-"

Mitsuki screamed as Kakashi suddenly grabbed her, tossing her over his shoulder without effort and marching off stage. Uncertain on what to do, Anbu looked to Tsunade for guidance, but the woman was too busy collecting bets on what the outcome would be to pay any attention to them. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura went to rescue their friend from their teacher, but had to stop, going back to keep Iruka from strangling a young girl as she squealed about his and Kakashi's love trandsending time.

"Kakashi-chan, what are you doing?" Mitsuki screamed as Kakashi opened the door to a side room. Ignoring her protests and the fists hitting his back, Kakashi stepped inside, slamming the door behind him.

The crowd stared, horrified at the door, wondering what would happen next.

Her voice muffled, Mitsuki continued to shout. "Kakashi! What the hell are you doing?"

"You...You...!"

"Ka-Ka-Kakashi-chan, what are you-"

"HEY! DON'T DO THAT!"

"EEK! KAKASHI!"

After that there was a very long silence. The crowd gulped, unwilling to go see what had happened for fear that Kakashi had killed the girl and would kill them too if they approached him.

Finally, the door slowly opened, Mitsuki stepping out, her face red as Kakashi followed. "I'll be gone for awhile," he said addressing Mitsuki as if the crowd wasn't even there. "Wait for me at home, okay?"

Mitsuki nodded, her face still red as Kakashi calmly walked out of the meeting hall, hands in his pockets, as if nothing had happened. As soon as the door had closed behind him and the ninja was gone, the crowd fell upon Mitsuki, demanding what had happened. Shoving her way through, Tsunade cleared an area around the red faced girl, clutching the money from all the bets. "Well?" she demanded eagerly. "What happened?"

Facing going even more red, Mitsuki leaned against the wall behind her and slide to the floor, her hands going up to stop her nosebleed. "Not...Not... Not a wo-woman," she stammered, attempting to stop the blood from gushing.

Everyone stopped, staring at her. A few people in the crowd sweat dropped. A few more got nosebleeds of their own. None decided to ask.

-

-

Struggling against wind and snow, Kajika panted as she fell into the tiny cave, a look of relief on her face. There. She should be safe now. Throwing her gear deeper into the cave, she quickly packed the entrance with snow, marring any sign that the cave was there in the first place. That done, she fell back, a look of satisfaction on her face. The wily fox has done it again! With the hounds of hell upon her heels she had put off her followers and lived to see another day.

Chuckling, the kitsune busily started a fire, using old wood chips to let a little light flitter about the room. She checked the watch she had stolen from some merchant. By now Kakashi would have found out about the pictures and might even have figured out what part she had played in them. However, she was safe. Half the world away and at the top of a treacherous mountain, there was no way Kakashi would be able to find her here! Laying on her stomach and humming in pleasure she wondered what the look on Kakashi's face would be the moment he realized that she was beyond his grasp. His eyes would probably get real thin, and mean looking... Sorta like a stupid dragon's right before it attacked a village. Staring into the fire, Kajika giggled as she pictured it. He never would take off the mask, but his lips would get all pressed together and sorta pouty... As she thought it was becoming easier and easier to see the ninja's face. In fact, she could see it clearly taking shape in the flames. His jaw would get square and angry (just like the face in the flames had) and maybe he'd even get a slight flush of anger on his cheeks where the mask didn't cover. Yeah, just like that... Just like...

...Shit.

"Hello Kajika."

Kajika shrieked, diving for the cave entrance only to find that her carefully packed snow had been replaced with ice. Turning to face the slowly approaching Kakashi she mentally calculated her chances at survival, found them to be negative, and began to beg. "Please, please, please don't kill me, Kakashi! I was just practicing my disguises and this old man came up and offered me money and I never knew he was going to sell them and-"

She was cut off as Kakashi's hand covered her mouth. "Quiet," the ninja ordered, a slight smirk showing from underneath his mask. "I need you alive... For now..."

Wondering if this was a good sign or not, Kajika's eyes widened as Kakashi came forward. Suddenly able to see his evil plan, the two tailed kitsune began to scream and scream.

Unfortunately, deep in the mountains, her screams of terror would go unaided.

-

-

"I feel so... dirty..." Kajika sobbed on Mitsuki's shoulder as screams rang around them.

Eyes glued to the image before her in horror, Mitsuki silently nodded in agreement.

"He made me... HE MADE ME...!"

"I know," Mitsuki soothed, rubbing the fox's back. "Just don't think about it, Kajika-chan."

"I don't know how I'm going to live with myself now!" Kajika wailed, suddenly changing back into her fox form and dashing into the forest. Mitsuki watched her go, sighing sadly. The poor kitsune... The humans that surrounded her would only have to live with this horror for a short time before death took from them this memory... Kajika on the other hand, probably had at least five hundred more years of life in her until she would be able to escape from the image before her and what Kakashi had forced her to do.

As if the thought of him had been a summoning, Kakashi appeared, slipping his arm around her waist. Following Mitsuki's gaze he shrugged. "She'll get over it."

Mitsuki still wasn't all that sure. She glared up at the taller man. "I think you went too far."

"What do you mean?"

She pointed up at the image covering the mountain side where the likeness of the Hokages had once been. Kakashi grinned wickedly at the sight. "I think it's funny."

Mitsuki looked again, wincing as the image entered her eyes. Frozen in a sort of horrible rapture was the image of Gai and Jiraiya, the two men naked and on all fours as they were spanked with a wooden paddle by none other then Orochimaru dressed in a corset and stockings and wearing high heels.

"You see," Kakashi said, eager to explain his genius. "I had to get back at Jiraiya for the whole picture thing and Gai for the proposal and all. Then I thought... Why just stop at Gai? I have a kitsune with the ability to replicate herself and change each clone into the likeness of a different person. She was too upset at what we were doing to go beyond three though and it was a hard decision to pick out who the lucky third person should be. I picked Orochimaru for being Orochimaru and for having way too many fan girls then an evil mutant snake man should have." Tightening his grip on Mitsuki's waist he smiled down at her. "I think the final result came out rather well, don't you?"

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

He let her go, kneeling down in concern as she collapsed and retched from the horror of the image. "Poor Mitsuki-chan," he sighed, patting her on the head. "I bet I can get something else stuck in your head." Leaning forward, he whispered something in her ear.

Instantly Mitsuki's face went scarlet. Nodding in satisfaction, Kakashi scooped the girl up in his arms and vanished them away in a poof of smoke.

Elsewhere, Naruto and Sasuke stared up at the cliff in horror as Sakura attempted to scrub the images out of her eyes with soap. Turning slowly to Sasuke, Naruto gaped at his friend, aghast. "I can't believe you're going to betray us for that guy!"

Sasuke glared at him. "Your mentor is the one that's enjoying it."

"...And Gai..."

"And Gai."

Turning in a silent agreement, Sasuke and Naruto simply walked out of the village to never return.


End file.
